On the Ropes (Down for the Count) (34 page)

“It’s nice to meet you, Chris. I’m Gabriel, and this is my brother, Jase. It would be really cool if you could maybe give us a hand.”

He smiles at Salem then at Jase and me. “I can certainly try to help him, but he has to want to help himself,” Chris says seriously. “Only Jase can take control of his addiction. Why don’t you three come into my office so we can talk?”

“That’ll be great,” I say appreciatively, as he walks us to his office.

“Have a seat and make yourselves comfortable. I’m going to get a patient information sheet for you to fill out.”

I help Jase into a seat, and he immediately slumps over. “Jase, come on, sit up,” I tap him on the shoulder.

“Don’t touch me,” he hisses at me.

“Jason,” Salem says.

“Don’t

‘
Jason
’ me,” he shoots her a dirty look.

“Don’t, Jase. You can disrespect me, but not Salem. She’s been nothing but nice to you.”

“It’s okay, Gabriel, he’s not himself right now.” She takes a seat next to him, reaching for his hand.

“Unfortunately, I am myself right now. This is me. The
real
me. The person you’ve seen so far is the Jase on shit. Not so pretty, is it?” his voice is harsh and full of resentment.

“Thanks for waiting,” Chris walks back into his office, shutting the door behind him. You can cut the tension in the room with a knife. He looks at all three of us, “Is everything okay?”

“Everything is peachy keen,” Jase responds sarcastically.

Chris begins to laugh, “Oh, I love this stage.”

Salem and I give him a confused look.

Chris sits in his chair behind his desk, “He’s going through withdrawal and, of course, it’s everyone else’s fault. You’ll probably see a bunch of different emotions pour out of him today.”

“I don’t need this bullshit,” Jase attempts to get up from his seat.

“Have a seat, Jase,” I push him back down. Standing over him, I warn, “This is it, you either try or you’re going to jail.”

“Gabriel,” Salem chastises me in a voice full of compassion for my little brother.

“No Salem, he needs to hear this!” I’ve lost my patience; not with Salem, but with this entire situation, with the fact that we’re here for Jase, and he just wants to give up and runaway to get high. Looming over him, I continue, “Jase, you have a pretty hefty list of charges waiting for you back at the station. And if you think you’re going to run, don’t forget about your ankle bracelet.”

“Why don’t we all calm down?” Chris tries to gain some control of the room. “Gabriel, take a seat and let’s see what we’re dealing with here. You getting angry at Jase is not going to help him get sober.”

I drop heavily into my chair. I know what Chris is saying is true, but I can’t help getting irritated with Jase; he’s throwing his life away on drugs. In my eyes, he’s taking the easy way out. Instead of fighting his addiction, he’d rather feed it.

“Like I told you in the bathroom, this is not going to be easy. Jase is going to need you to be there for him, and if you fly off the handle over every little thing, you’re not helping him.”

I hang my head at Chris’ words.

“I know it’s frustrating and at times you’ll probably want to kill him, but you have to realize it’s the drugs, or lack thereof, talking. It’s not
him
.”

“I’ll try to keep both of them under control,” Salem smiles, looking at the three of us.

“This is going to put a strain on everyone’s relationships,” Chris informs Salem as his eyes glance over to me. Salem’s smile quickly turns to a frown. “I’m not here to upset anyone. I’m here to share with you all what to expect of an addict.”

Over dinner, the three of us barely speak a word and Salem is constantly checking her phone. I’m trying to ignore it, hoping she actually wants to be here instead of feeling obligated, since it was her suggestion after all. Jase has hardly touched any of his food. He’s spent more time pushing it around his plate than actually eating. He’s blaming the Methadone, saying that it’s made him nauseous. Salem thought it was important to get some food in his stomach since he’d thrown up everything from this morning.

She finally breaks the silence by asking Jase, “How’s your spaghetti?”

“It’s okay,” he shrugs his shoulders.

I, on the other hand, am scarfing down the pizza I ordered. It’s been too long since I’ve eaten a piece of Luigi’s pizza. “You want a slice?” I look over at Jase.

“Nah, I’m good.”

“How ‘bout you,” I turn to Salem, who’s sitting next to me.

She smiles and raises her eyebrows at me, “Are you sure you want to share it? You’ve almost eaten the entire pizza all by yourself.”

“It’s the best pizza on the planet,” I stuff the rest of the slice into my mouth. I pick up a piece and bring it to her mouth, “Here, have a bite.”

“I can feed myself,” she laughs.

“Is everything okay here?” Nico stops by our table and addresses Jase, “You do not like your spaghetti? I can make you something else if you would like.”

“No, it’s fine, I’m just not that hungry,” Jase avoids eye contact with Nico.

“Who is this lovely lady sitting next to you, Saint?”

“I’m Salem,” she stands to shake his hand.

“Ciao bella,” he says, taking her hand and kissing each of her cheeks.

Salem blushes in embarrassment.

“Saint is a very lucky man,” he winks at me.

“Well, that’s very kind of you,” Salem murmurs softly, sitting back down.

“Please let me know if you need anything else,” Nico is now directing all of his attention to Salem.

“Okay,” Salem looks at me uncomfortably.

“Thanks, Nico,” I answer for her, hoping he’ll get the hint. He lingers for a moment or two longer before the phone rings, and he walks away.
Saved by the bell.

“He’s harmless, I swear.”

“If you say so,” she responds hesitantly, looking over at him.

I smile and give her a wink, “He’s probably just dazzled by your beauty and charm.” Then I try to change the subject, “So, what do you guys wanna do tonight? Go to a movie or something?”

“I don’t really feel up to doing anything,” Jase groans.

“What about you?” I ask Salem.

She gives me a hard look, her eyes glancing over towards Jase. His elbows are on the table and his head is in his hands.

“What?” I mouth.

“You can’t leave him alone, not tonight,” she whispers.

“I invited him, he doesn’t wanna come.”

“I should really get going soon, anyways,” she looks down at her phone again.

“Fine,” I sigh heavily, pushing the plate in front of me to the middle of the table.

“Gabriel, I’ve got class in the morning,” she touches my leg gently.

“Whatever,” I push her hand off my leg. I want to believe her, but something about her facial expression makes me doubt what she’s saying.

“Yeah, I’m tired,” Jase adds.

“Let’s go,” I edge myself closer to Salem.

“You mean, right now?” she asks with surprise.

“Yeah, now,” I can’t hide the annoyance in my voice, “you got class in the morning and he’s tired.” I’m nearly pushing her out of the booth at this point.

“Oh, okay…” she slowly gets up from her seat, looking at me; puzzled.

I walk over to the counter to pay Nico for dinner. “You want a to-go box?” he asks me, but he’s staring over at Salem.

“Nah, I’m good. What do I owe you?”

“Twenty-seven, eighty-two, and that beautiful lady’s telephone number.”

“She’s taken.”

“You do not want to share with your old friend, Nico?”

“How can I share what’s not mine?” I look over my shoulder at her, she’s again on her phone.

“What do you mean she is not yours?”

“She has a boyfriend Nico, and it’s not me.” I throw forty dollars onto the counter and mutter, “Keep the change,” as I turn to walk away. “You guys ready?” I call out as I walk right past the booth and out the door.

“What’s your rush?” Salem walks briskly, trying to catch up to me.

“No rush. I just figured you’d wanna get home,” I look away from her.

“Are you mad at me?”

“Mad? Why would I be mad?”

“I don’t know Gabriel, you tell me,” she crosses her arms.

“It’s been a long day for all of us,” I exhale. “Come on, Jase, we’re gonna walk home.”

“Walk? Don’t be silly, I can drive you home,” Salem reaches out for my hand as I start to walk away from her. “Gabriel, wait. When will I see you again?” she nuzzles up against me.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts, “I…”

“You what?” she kisses my neck.

Closing my eyes, I try to fight off my desires.
You’re dreaming, man. She has a boyfriend. This’ll never work, so do the right thing.

“What happened last night, it can’t happen again,” I exhale heavily. I can’t believe those words just came out of my mouth. Never in my life had I expected that. But I can’t, for my own sanity. There’s no way I can handle sleeping with her again knowing she’s not really mine, knowing she belongs to someone else. I
will
want more than she can give, just like she said at the fiestas patronales. It’s killing me inside to know that she was right, that I need her more than she needs me; that I need anyone for that matter.

“I know,” she sighs, “and I won’t fight your decision. I just want one more kiss to remember you by. Please, Gabriel.”

“One last kiss,” I breathe as my lips hover over hers.

“Yes,” her hands run delicately up my back.

A shiver shoots up my spine at her touch; my pulse is racing, and my heart feels like it’s going to pound out of my chest. My right hand gingerly cradles the nape of her neck while I pull her into me with my left. I kiss her lustfully, not wanting to ever let her go. I’m completely lost in her.

“Ahem,” I hear from behind us, not knowing how much time has passed.

I try to ignore it, hoping the interruption isn’t intended for us.

“Ahem,” I hear again, but this time it’s louder. Breaking my lips away from Salem’s, I grumble, “What?”

“I wanna go.”
Ah, Jase.

“Okay, okay,” my gaze never leaves Salem as I respond to Jase.

Salem rests her head on my chest, and I stand there relishing the moment, hoping it will never end. My body then begins to tremble at the realization that this will be the last time I’ll be able to kiss or hold her.

“Gabriel, are you alright?”

“What happened between us,” I try to swallow the lump that’s formed in my throat, “it meant something to me.”

“It meant something to me, too,” she’s says softly.

Slowly, I break our embrace and take a step away from her saying, “Bye, Salem.” Then Jase and I begin to walk in the opposite direction of her car.

“Gabriel!”

I quickly turn toward her, hoping she’ll beg me to stay or that she’s changed her mind and she does want to fight for us.

“Thank you,” is all she says. She quickly ducks into her car and speeds off.

I’m left standing there as her taillights disappear down the street.

“You alright, Gabe?” Jase pats me on the back.

“I’ll be fine, little bro, just like I always am,” I clench my jaw tightly as I fight the urge to punch something.

I would like to thank my husband, Frank, for being my rock throughout the years. My three children: Zakary, Shane, and Leila, who inspire me to keep pushing myself. My loyal friends, old and new, who have been there for me through thick and thin. Keri, my kickass editor, who was probably ready to drive up to Massachusetts and strangle me on more than one occasion. Adrian Vega and Tina Kane, my two gorgeous cover models. David Blazze, the amazing photographer who shot the cover, and Todd LeMieux, the graphic designer who created the cover.

To the Beta readers, thank you for your time and input. Big thanks to my three Spanish aficionados: Marilyn, Yoly, and Geo. You know this white girl can only say, “Hola.”

To all the bloggers who have supported and promoted me this past year, you guys ROCK!

Lastly, to my readers, thank you for all of your love and support. I truly appreciate every comment, review, and kind word you’ve said.

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