Once a SEAL (10 page)

Mark squeezing her arm for a second time forced her to keep a damper on it.

“If Aria, as Jimmy’s legal guardian, doesn’t agree, what happens then?” Mark asked.

“He will be brought up on charges and will formally face the judge in his courtroom.”

“They want him to learn a lesson,” Aria said. “I agree. We’ll take the deal.”

“Hold on,” said Mark. “I could argue there are extenuating circumstances revolving around this case not limited to the fact that his former guardian and uncle has recently died and it contributed to this moment, as well as the undeniable fact this young man was in that car accident that took away his greatest ally and support.”

“No offense, Counselor, but this isn’t a courtroom. I don’t negotiate. I simply follow procedure. The only reason, and I mean the sole motivation, that James Kavanagh is being shown any leeway today is because those two men took it upon themselves to take responsibility for his case and work with him. In my opinion, that kid is getting off easy, and he should probably be on his way to juvenile hall.” Detective Calfry sat back in his chair. He steepled his fingers and then looked at Aria. “What’s your answer?”

“We’ll take the offer. Thank you for your plainspokenness, Detective Calfry. When and where does he need to be for work?” This time she let her emotion show, and her hand shook as she proffered it to him.

He connected with his own meaty palm, and it engulfed hers as if she were a child. “If you’ll head over to the desk against the far wall, there’s some paperwork you’ll need to fill out, and then Jimmy will be released to you.”

Mark nodded at the detective, and then they left his desk. “I could have done better.”

“No,” said Aria flatly. “The offer made to us is generous, and Jimmy needs to learn there are consequences. I couldn’t bear to go through a legal battle right now, and I don’t think Jimmy could either. This is a gift, Mark. I see it that way, and I want Jimmy to understand it as one, too.”

Pulling her to a stop before they reached the desk, he said, “You’re admitting that Jimmy did this, that he brought a knife to school. I could fight the whole thing and get it expunged.”

She stared at him, incredulous. “He did bring a knife to school. Jimmy screwed up! So did Dan. Both of them need to get that. Either we live in a world with right and wrong—rules—or we live with the chaos.”

“SEALs don’t live with rules. How naive are you?”

“What do you mean, Mark?” She put up her other hand as a barrier between them. “Be very careful with your next words.”

“There is so much you don’t understand, Aria. There are always ways to exploit the gray areas—that’s why lawyers rock. We know how to deal with the good, because we understand the bad, sometimes intimately,” Mark ground out. “You took several law classes. Why don’t you get it?”

“I’m not pretending to be some innocent. It’s just…I’m a wife now and guardian to Jimmy. I know life isn’t perfect, but we have to set an example,” she said, her temper simmering. Her voice dropped lower. “And I’m adamant on what I believe. This is my choice. Jimmy will work for Judge Wasa this summer, and I’m going to kick Dan’s ass. Let me complete this paperwork and get my brother the hell out of here! Now, move it.” She pointed to the spot where he held her arm. She waited until his hand dropped to his side and then she asked, “Are you coming with me or not?”

He nodded his head and followed her to the desk. Her dearest friend did not look happy about it, and it made her wonder…about him and his morals.

***

The drive home was quiet. Neither she nor Jimmy spoke. Half of her was so angry with Jimmy, she wanted to shout. Every time she looked over at him, the other half of her saw her brother as wide-eyed, pale, and obviously so completely shaken that all she wanted to do was pull the car over and hug him.

As she pulled up in front of the house, she barked at him, “Into the house, now. Hustle.”

Jimmy scrambled out of the car and hotfooted to the front door. He used his key to open it, went inside, and positioned himself on a chair at the kitchen counter.

Aria closed the front door behind her, flipped the bolt, and then set her purse and keys in the bedroom. She tried to calm herself as she headed to the kitchen. “Have you eaten?”

“Not since breakfast,” he said softly.

“Do you want macaroni and cheese?” She stood in front of him staring daggers, but he wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“Yes, please.” It was barely a whisper.

She turned the oven to 350 degrees and took the macaroni out of the refrigerator. Taking off the cover, she deposited the large tray in the oven and set the timer. With her back to him, she said, “We need to talk.”

There was a long pause. Then he said, “I know.”

Walking around the island, she sat down next to him. “Look at me.”

When he did, there were tears in his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Aria. I didn’t mean to get in trouble. I was trying…trying to…”

“Make friends,” she finished. “There has to be more than that. Spill.”

“I wanted to prove that I was tough, that the popular guys couldn’t boss me around. I read that if you stand up to bullies—a show of strength—then it makes it all go away. I knew taking the knife was wrong…that Dan would be mad…but I didn’t think this would happen.” Her brother leaned forward, wrapping his smaller arms around her neck, and wept. His whole body convulsed. “I’m sorry, Aria.”

She patted his back, trying to comfort him and wanting to lecture him, too.

“I-I-I didn’t mean to screw up. Please don’t send me away.”

Pulling back from the embrace, she wiped the tears off his face with her fingers. “Jimmy, you aren’t going anywhere. This is your home now, with me. Wherever I go, whatever I do, you’re a part of it, forever. Okay?”

He nodded his head, but she could see the worry still in his eyes. Snot was coming out of his nose, too.

Taking a napkin out of the holder, she wiped at his nose.

He grimaced away from her. “Aria, I’m not five. I can do it.”

God, I am treating Jimmy like a child. What do I do?

He blew his nose and then got up to throw the used napkin away. Then he washed his hands.

She’d taught him that. She’d raised him. How could she have thought leaving him with their uncle would be fine while she went off and lived her life somewhere else? Maybe that had been a mistake, too.

Jimmy took a glass out of the cupboard and poured himself some milk. “Do you want some?”

“No, thanks,” she replied. She’d taught him those manners, too. Wrestling with herself for a few minutes, her curiosity won out. “Jimmy, were you mad at me when I left?”

He came back around the island and took his seat again. “Uncle David told me I wasn’t allowed to get mad about it, because you had worked hard to take care of us and now we had to take care of each other.” Wiping his arm across his nose, he removed the rest of the stuff leaking out of his nose.

“Maybe we’re both stuck in the past—old roles. You’re fourteen and I’m a grown woman. You’ve got to communicate with me about what’s happening, and I’ve got to stop babying you. Agreed?”

He nodded his head, and his eyes held hers. There was something else happening in there, and she hoped she could get to the bottom of it.

“Jimmy, while the macaroni is heating up, I’d like to talk to you about emotions and better ways to handle them.”

Maybe, just maybe, it would help her, too. If they could both be honest grown-ups, then it would help them move forward on a better footing.

She’d have to remind herself to be a grown-up when it came to handling Dan. She was ready to rip him a new one for not locking up that knife…and for not calling her back when she needed him.

***

She could hear her brother’s even breathing. Watching him from the doorway of his room, tucked into his new bed, with clothes hanging up in the wardrobe and his backpack on his desk, was comforting. The talk with Jimmy had gone well. They’d both cleared the air, and she felt better about being a mother, sister, and friend to him.

Lights flashed momentarily through the room and then turned off. A car had just parked in front of the house.

Closing the door to Jimmy’s bedroom, she went to the front door, unlocked the bolt, and opened it partway. Dan was getting out of his car and he looked beat.

Opening the door wide, she didn’t know if she wanted to hug first or yell at him. It was a toss-up that warred inside of her, so she stayed where she was…waiting for him to come to her.

“Hi,” he said as he dropped his gear inside the front door and kissed her.

She kissed him back, and for several seconds her whole world melted away. Amazing, how this man was her solace, her peace, and her pleasure spot. When they pulled apart, the unhappiness and stress slammed back into her head like an ice pick. Her anger at Dan being MIA for the event added another layer of pain to it. “Jimmy’s sleeping. I converted my office into his bedroom. The door’s closed, but can we go outside…onto the patio to talk?”

“Does that come with beer and food?” He looked so hopeful, she couldn’t deny him.

“Yes, go out there and I’ll bring a tray.” She pointed, and it was hard not to smile at him, but she knew she’d have to admit her anger. Right now it was a wall separating her from him.

In the kitchen she made two plates of macaroni and sliced ham, threw in some apple slices for good measure, and grabbed a beer for Dan and an iced tea for herself from the refrigerator. Placing it on a tray alongside napkins and silverware, she headed outside.

Dan’s eyes tracked her movements. She could feel them.

“What happened? I can see the tension in your body.” It wasn’t easy that her husband could read her like a book—one of the many reasons she’d married him. Right now it was hard to be put on the spot.

“Let’s see, I bought furniture for Jimmy’s room. Had a great time hanging out with Hannah. I found a darling Tommy Bahama silk shirt for you in the same color as your eyes, with this wonderful embroidered pattern. What else? Oh, yeah, my brother took one of your knives to school, ended up at a police station, and could have been sent to jail if it hadn’t been for a compassionate judge and police chief.” She inhaled sharply, her temper flaring. “Where the hell are your weapons, and why didn’t you tell me they were in the house so I could hide them?”

“Oh, my God! Is he okay?” Dan was out of his chair and moving into the bedroom before she could stop him.

“Dan!” Aria frowned, and then reluctantly followed him. She found him crouched over a duffel.

“Well, your brother must be good at figuring out locks, because I had this combination lock holding the bag closed.” Dan held up the open lock.

“My uncle taught him that. He tried getting Jimmy interested in magic tricks, but it never took. Well, most of it didn’t.” She sat down on the air mattress. She studied her hands and then asked, “Dan, why didn’t you tell me…about the weapons? What else don’t I know? Are any other things stored here?”

“Phew,” he said as he checked the contents of the bag and then locked it back up. “Nothing else is missing. Do I have to go down to the police station to get it?” He lifted the bag and stood. Something about his movements was stiff, and there was a look in his eyes…as if he were hurt…emotionally.

“Yes.” She watched him walk to the doorway. “Dan, you need to understand. I’m really mad. We have a major problem here.”

“I know.” He offered her his hand. She took it and he pulled her to her feet. “I just…I have a story I need to tell you. It’s the reason we have weapons in the house. I want you to learn to use them, and Jimmy, too, but with responsibility and an understanding of what they can do.”

“I don’t want them here. Period.” She was adamant. She couldn’t imagine a life in which she constantly had to worry about weapons getting into the hands of children.

He sighed. “Aria, hear me out. You might change your mind after I explain why I have them…and who might come looking for us.” Dan escorted her outside. They sat down next to each other on the chairs of their new lawn furniture. The cushions were plush, but she couldn’t relax and enjoy the comfort. Anger coursed through her body like a wildfire in dry grass, and she couldn’t put it out.

Dan laid his hand on hers. “I was wrong. I want you to know that.”

She nodded her head, accepting the apology. It eased a little of the frustration but not the bulk of it.

He took his hand back and laid it on the table. “Just so you know, I had intended to order a weapons safe—accessible by fingerprint—and will do so tonight. I also promise to store them at the base until a secured environment arrives.” Lifting his beer, Dan took a long draw on the bottle. He stared at the label.

She watched him swallow, waiting as patiently as she could for his story to begin. Her nerves were frazzled and she couldn’t stop herself from nudging him. “Dan?”

He nodded. “I was just trying to figure out where to begin.” He placed his hand over hers. “I was nine years old…”

By the time Dan finished his story, Aria had crawled into his lap. He led her to the bedroom, and they gently peeled away each other’s clothes. There was a tenderness and closeness to their lovemaking like never before. Dan couldn’t get enough of the feel of his wife’s skin against his. And Aria was doing everything she could to keep their bodies as close as possible.

With her head tipped back, her hair streaming across the pillow, and her gorgeous breasts just begging for his mouth, he’d never seen anything more beautiful. And she was all his.

He entered her slowly, drawing the moment out, even when she thrust her hips up to take him deeper. Life might not always run smooth, but this moment was perfection. And he didn’t want to let it go. No matter what the world might throw at them, here they were protected. Here they were undeniably together.

As their climax surged through them, he’d never felt more loved in his life. Afterward he cuddled Aria in his arms and gently stroked her hair until her breaths evened out, soft and deep.

***

Dan woke slowly, still holding his wife in his arms. They were both stretched out naked on the air mattress in their bedroom. Making love after their fight had made him feel closer to her, as if he knew more about her soul. His lips brushed her shoulder.
Oh, how I want to wake her.
But the dark circles under her eyes made him want to let her sleep.

He used small movements to shift his body weight. According to Aria, their California-king mattress set would arrive tomorrow. He was looking forward to a real bed. The air mattress had lost its charm.

“Bastard. District attorney, my ass,” she whispered in her sleep. “If only…”

He gently shook his head. Aria hadn’t taken the story very well, bursting out with angry comments at times against his mother and father and adding a long list of expletives for the intruder.

Long ago he’d gotten over the fact that they weren’t the ideal parents, or even halfway decent on a long list of bad mothers and fathers. But life had blessed his sister and him with a remarkably brilliant and loving grandfather who had shown them what the words
joy
and
loyalty
really meant. For that opportunity he was eternally grateful.

After he split away from his parents, he had found true stability. At his grandfather’s farm in Louisiana, he could remember, in the winter, sitting in front of a large fireplace as his sister and he roasted marshmallows—pretending it was snowing outside—while his grandfather shared stories of war, falling in love with their grandmother, and the best parts of married life. He’d read Mickey Spillane mysteries, taken them hunting in Vermont and Montana, and taught them how to live off the land. Though Dan had taken to roughing it, his sister preferred pink nail polish and eight-hundred-thread-count sheets. Together, though, they learned how to apologize and share gratitude and were exposed to practical life lessons that added to their common sense.

Anytime they were sick or afraid or upset, he was by their bedside, teaching them how to cope and helping them through the trauma. Everything Dan learned from that wonderful man he took to heart and incorporated into his life, and now into his marriage with Aria.

“I’d be a better mother,” she murmured in her sleep.

He kissed the top of her head. “You will be,” he whispered.

“Hmph!” she replied, then began to snore. She hadn’t liked learning that a few more criminals had gone after his parents, and though they were unsuccessful, there was always a possibility that Caty and he were targets. Another reason Caty’s husband watched her like a hawk.

The intruder story had shaken Aria enough that she decided that each member of their household needed to have weapons-safety courses, from gun to knife, with strict understanding and a serious respect. They were a military family, and all of them needed to learn what weapons were about. Though, they agreed his arsenal would be stored on base until the safe arrived, and they would talk about what that meant, the pros and cons. Jimmy was already learning a lesson in consequences, and she gave Dan permission to take that several steps farther. Only Aria and he would have the combination to the safe.

He was relieved the discussion had resolved without a fight. The cold steel felt good in his hands, and it would have been hard to have nothing in the house that reminded him of his grandfather…or for protection for Aria and Jimmy. There would be times he would be away, and it felt good knowing there was protection available to them.

Rubbing his thumbs gently along her arms, he felt Aria rouse. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

She stretched and then snuggled closer. “You didn’t. I was only half-asleep.”

“I think you were cussing out my dad.”

She sucked in her breath. “I
was
dreaming of him…like I was half in this reality and somewhere else, too. That’s so funny—you guessed where I was.”

“It’s not a stretch, given what we were talking about.” He whispered, “You were snoring, too.”

“Was not!” she denied. She tried to squirm out of his grasp but he held tight.

“Uh-huh!” He loved teasing her and he grinned down at her fierce expression.

She lightly slapped his stomach. “Okay, maybe I snore a little.” Pushing herself up on one elbow, she ran her fingers over his abused muscles and asked, “Can you talk about the training mission you were on? Without violating national security and stuff?”

“Sort of. I spent five days in the bushes, waiting for an opportunity to fire two volleys of shots. My legs were cramped and my ass was sore, and I couldn’t wait to get home to you.” He rolled his eyes. “It happens. We practice when it’s peaceful so it’s easier, like a reflex, when we’re at war.”

“Why did it take so long?” She pushed her hair out of her eyes. When it just flopped back into place, he tucked the curls firmly behind her ears…so tiny, those little ears. He leaned forward to nibble on them. She pushed him back. “Please, Dan. I want to know.”

“Aye, aye.” He grinned at her, but she was serious. “There was another group running the war game, the point of which was to examine the effectiveness of both new strategic techniques and equipment. I was on the equipment end, and overall it was efficient and productive.”

Her eyes widened. “You weren’t here because of a game.”

“Not a game in the way you’re thinking of it. This is work, and what I do out there in training could save my life or that of Teammates or other Americans.

“Aria, we talked about this before we got married. You said you could deal with it.”

“Yeah, I can deal with it, when you’re out saving people’s lives. I mean, I worry, but I get it. But when you’re twenty minutes away, playing ‘war games,’ and you can’t come when I need you, then yes, I have a problem. I need to know I’m a priority too.”

“You are the most important person in the world to me. You should never for a second doubt that. But I have a duty to our country too. And there are going to be times—probably a fair number of them—when the demands of the job prevent me from being here. I can’t help it and I can’t change it. My Team needs me too.” Dan made sure his voice was firm without any hostility or anger. He was sorry he hadn’t gotten the gun safe in place or been around to help. Regretting the past wasn’t going to change today’s resolution. The best he could do…was to incorporate the knowledge of how to move forward.

“I know. And I know we talked about all of this when you proposed. But I hadn’t really seen it until now. I thought it’d be easier. Or that they’d give you other duty, because you’re married now. I need you around more.” She kissed his stomach. “It was wishful thinking. I’m sorry. I just want us to communicate better.”

“Me too.” This conversation made him wonder if Aria could handle marriage to him. There were going to be some big obstacles ahead. Maybe they should have lived together first, tried this situation out before they married.

“I’ll get better at it. I promise. It’s just…with Jimmy and everything, I was suddenly in over my head.”

Stroking her curls with his fingers, he said, “You’re stronger than you know. But it’s true you’re going to have to handle a lot on your own. When I’m home, I’ll help where I am able. Can you deal with that?”

“Yeah, I get it. I’ll have to.” Her fingers toyed with his chest hair. She plucked one or two and it stung briefly. He placed his hand on hers. “For the record, I don’t like it, but I’ll work on it.”

“Look at me, please.” He waited while she turned toward him. “Always know I’m on your team and I have your back. In terms of the house rules and Jimmy, what you say goes, and I will support it.”

“Thanks.” She smiled. “That does help some… I can make you the bad guy when I need to do so.”

He lifted his eyebrows. “Go for it. I can take the heat.” Wrapping his arms around her, he pushed her up in the air and held her in place like a reverse push-up and then wiggled down until he was lying beneath her. Then he lowered her down to him. Giving her his best sexy grin, he asked, “Want to make out?”

“No.” She said straight-faced and then began to laugh. “Yes.” She collapsed into a riot of giggles.

He rolled her over and blew a “zerbit” on her belly, which made her laugh harder. He tickled her.

“Dan! Stop!” She was laughing so hard, tears were rolling down her cheeks.

“Aye, aye.” He stopped and just looked at her. God, he loved her.

***

“You know what, guys?” Dan said. “We need a day at the beach.”

“Chores first,” Aria piped up.

Jimmy and Dan groaned simultaneously. But both pitched in to do dusting and vacuuming, and grocery shopping at the commissary, before they headed out for sand and sun.

Dan positioned three kayaks at the water’s edge. “You’ll have fun,” he encouraged Jimmy.

“I’ve never done this before,” Jimmy said, not sounding too eager at the prospect.

“Can you move your arms as if you’re pedaling a bicycle?” asked Dan.

“Duh,” said Jimmy.

“Watch the mouth,” said Aria.

“Sorry.” Jimmy kicked the sand and then looked at Dan. “Yes.”

“Good,” said Dan. “Follow your sister into the water.” His eyes tracked his wife’s movements as she walked the kayak into the waist-high water, climbed in, and started paddling. Jimmy tried to mimic her action but ended up in the tank a few times.

Aria frowned at Dan as he let Jimmy struggle. Finally, the kid figured out how to balance the kayak and slid in without overturning it. Dan was proud of him—Jimmy didn’t give up. If Jimmy had been in danger, he would have stepped in, but failing and figuring stuff out made people stronger. He firmly believed it—a quitter usually shows his true nature, and a winner reveals his intentions by doing something over and over until there is success.

Grabbing his own kayak, he launched it into the waves and hopped aboard. Catching up to his family, he took them farther into the ocean.

They saw lemon sharks and fish, pelicans and seagulls, and two large sea lions.

The three of them kayaked for hours, splashing and laughing. It was the perfect day in many ways. One Dan looked forward to repeating again and again. This was one of the reasons living in Coronado was so amazing—the ability to experience water, nature, and togetherness. He’d hate being landlocked.

As they raced toward shore, riding the waves, he stared at the smile on Aria’s face. He just didn’t know if he could tell her…what was coming: more missions and more time gone. What would it mean to her? How angry would she be?

His kayak abruptly slid onto the sand, grounding the journey for now. The waves were pulling back, the tide going out and revealing small treasures of shell and seaweed on the beach.

Watching Aria and Jimmy lift their kayaks, he laughed at their antics as both of them landed in the sand. It was just a little more weight than they could handle alone.

Looking up at the sky, he knew he’d have to carry the boats up to the locker. She was motioning to him, wanting him to move faster. But he’d always gone at his own pace.

Reluctantly he stepped out of the kayak and hoisted it onto one shoulder. “I’m coming,” he shouted as the wind picked up, tossing grains of sand into the air.

He grabbed the paddle with his free hand and started walking. He’d have to trust that Aria could keep it together…their family. Regardless of what she might think, a lot of the power was in her hands, and he hoped she was careful with it.

***

The next morning, he dressed quickly. Picking up the duffel, he hoisted it over his shoulder and checked to make sure he had his wallet and cell phone before he put his hand on the doorknob. He wished today could be a day off—he wanted so much to spend more time with her—but that wasn’t possible.

“Sneaking out?” His wife propped up on one elbow and looked at him. “What time is it?”

He had to get going, or they were going to be late. “Three thirty. I need to pick up JC. I’m taking the weapons, per our agreement. I’ll call you later, okay?”

“What? Wait, where are you going?” She placed her hands on her hips and stared at him.

“Work. We’re going on the High Altitude jump. Aria, we talked about this.”

“I thought you were getting more time off.” She was getting angry. He could tell by the way her eyes were narrowing and her words were becoming more terse and clipped.

Shifting the weight to his other shoulder, he said, “I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s a workday. You know how it is—we practice and do more practice and prepare some more and then go on missions. I’m trying to get some time, but it all depends on the Team’s schedule. I wish we could be together more too. But this is the life of a SEAL.” Why wasn’t there a manual—something he could study—so he knew the right thing to say or how to ease her pain? “Hon, I want to help. It’s just…I have to go.” He walked to her, closing the gap between them. Lowering the bag, he got to his knees and kissed her. “Can we talk about this when I get home?”

“When will that be?” She fanned her face as if she was trying to dry the tears that welled in her eyes.

Crap!
This was eating him up inside. He didn’t want to leave her like this. She had been through so much. He sighed. “I don’t know.” Then he stroked her hair, willing his energy into her, attempting to ease her and at the same time bolster her courage. “Bear with me, Aria. Okay? I love you.”