Once A Wolf (53 page)

deathbed. I was sixteen. I went to find my daddy. MacLean didn't want anything to do with me.

When I stood up to him, he sent Cole to get rid of me. I lived. And I meant so little to him that

when we met in Las Vegas, he didn't even recognize me.

"Caramba," Tomás murmured. "His own brother."

"How horrible," Rowena said.

" 'Now, I reckon, you're thinking you should feel sorry for me. I chose my path, and I saw Cole

MacLean die. I don't mourn my pa, either. Weylin MacLean is nobody to me. You were my

brother, amigo, the only one I had. Maybe we'll meet again. Look after that pretty señorita, and

if you hear I'm dead, shoot off a few rounds for me.

"Adios."'

Tomás set down the paper and stared unseeing at the cliff above the pool. "I never guessed. In

all this time—"

"How could you? If he had the loup-garou powers, he hid them completely. He got the revenge

he wanted by using you—"

"No. I had few illusions about Sim. I wish him well." He sighed. "If only—"

"Yes. If only." She rubbed his arm. "Will you tell Weylin about this?"

"One day, perhaps. It may be that both he and Sim may find themselves in need of kin."

"I believe you are right. In time—" She sat up straight and met Tomás's gaze. "What of us? You

said you wanted to leave the Territory, that the name of El Lobo must be forgotten. Is that still

your wish?"

Tomás closed his eyes, breathing in the scents of the cañon and listening to its sounds as if for

the last time. He took her hands in his and kissed her fingertips. "What is your wish, my lady?"

She tilted her head back to look at the sky. "When I first came to this land, I hated it. It was the

epitome of all I loathed in myself, and the beast I feared. It was a place I could never hope to

limit or control. But now… now I cannot imagine living anywhere else."

"Not even New York, or England? El Lobo is unknown in those places. There would be no risk—"

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"No risk. Safety. What I thought I always wanted. But you see, my dear husband, the Rowena

who lived in those places no longer exists. She belongs here, in this land that Tomás Alejandro

Randall loves."

Tomás swallowed his elation. "I am still a wanted man in the Territory. An outlaw cannot give

you the life you deserve—"

"What I deserve is here beside me." She kissed him, delighting him with the agile motion of her

tongue. "You remember what Weylin said when we retrieved Esperanza. If he has any of his

brother's influence, he'll get the governor's pardon for you. If not… he'll make clear to everyone

in the Territory that he doesn't want you hunted. I very much doubt that many men will defy

the will of Weylin MacLean, however self-effacing he may be."

Tomás couldn't help but agree. Weylin MacLean was a man to be reckoned with. "And where,"

he said, "should we live if we stay in New Mexico?" He looked down at their interlocking

fingers. "Now that I have foresworn thievery, the money I have saved will not last long. If I

could build you a mansion—"

"I certainly do not want your money!" She withdrew her hand from his. "It so happens that I am

a wealthy woman in my own right. It is my wish to see that the children here receive a proper

education, so that they may become whatever they choose, be it farmer, shepherd, teacher,

storekeeper, or officer of the law—"

"Anything but desperado?"

"Just so! Is there any reason why we may not remain here in the cañon for a while? I can

purchase all the materials the children need for their initial schooling, and determine what will

be best for them later. Your men must also learn new trades. They will need time to adjust. I

doubt very much that they will insist upon remaining outlaws."

"You would be content to stay here?"

"You sound shocked. Have I not proven to you that I can live just as simply as anyone in this

country?"

He pulled her close and gave her a resounding kiss. She didn't so much as feign resistance.

"There is one more thing," she said, growing serious. "I came west in search of Quentin. I still

sense that all is not well with him. If he is anywhere in this part of the country, I must find him."

"Of course." He set her back and held her arms, as if she might struggle. "I have given it much

thought. I was the one who brought you to the West; it is my charge to finish what I forced you

to begin. Once you are well settled, I'll ride out and find him, and return him safely to you."

"Not without me. And we cannot abandon the children now. But there must be some capable

tracker I can hire to locate him. I feel certain that Weylin would help."

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He cocked his head and smiled wistfully. "Ah, if I were not now so responsible, I would insist

that we go together. Days of great adventure, nights of love under the stars—"

"They are not lost forever, Tomás," she said. "We will have those days and nights." She glanced

aside. "Or do you regret—"

"Never. Never." He drew her again into his arms. "You have given me a reason for living. You

are my life."

An hour later Rowena adjusted her camisa and patted her hair into some semblance of order,

and by unspoken agreement they rose and returned up the path to the village, where the men

and children were hovering about the makeshift table Nestor had set up in the plaza. Mutton

was roasting over an open fire, and the smell of frijoles and chile drifted out from Nestor's casa.

The people of the cañon had their own little baile that night, with Esperanza and Rowena

partnering one man after another, and the children mimicking their elders with shrieks of

laughter.

Tomás spent much of his time merely watching. These were his people; he was no longer afraid

to admit how deep his affection for them ran. The future held room for such emotions. It

embraced them joyfully.

There was a great quiet in Esperanza, a sense of waiting, though she danced and laughed

willingly enough. Tomás saw Rowena draw the girl aside, and they spoke in low tones while the

men paused to smoke and exchange boasts. Rowena returned to Tomás with a pensive air, but

held private what she and Esperanza had discussed.

It was not until everyone was exhausted and wandering off to bed that Tomás took Rowena to

the cave dwelling where once she'd been his prisoner.

She climbed the wooden ladder without hesitation and sat cross-legged upon the cool stone

floor. Tomás lit a single candle, and the painted figures on the wall danced in celebration of

their return.

"I think I can hear it," Rowena whispered.

"Hear what?" he said, laying out the furs for their bed.

"The ancient music in these rocks. You once told me to listen for it, that these were the bones

of the earth. I think I finally understand."

She lay down on the furs, closing her eyes, and he lay beside her. He had never known such

peace. But as the minutes passed he became aware of her scent, and the curves of her hip and

breast, and the primal need for union that was never satisfied. As long as he lived, he would

want her. Love her. He leaned on his elbow and drew his finger over her nipple until it puckered

under her blouse.

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She turned toward him, and they kissed.

"Do you think they'll mind?" she murmured breathlessly as he slipped his hand under her

blouse.

"Who?"

"The people who once lived here."

He chuckled. "Did I not tell you that they loved life? They were like us; they lived, and ate, and

slept, and made children. They understood the heart of things. They will not begrudge us."

And Rowena did not begrudge all the passion that was hers. This time their joining felt truly

blessed, as if they had not been married until this moment.

They lay entangled until sunset, when Rowena rose to look out the windows at the cañon. She

was unselfconscious in the beauty of her nakedness, but he put aside his selfish pleasure in

watching her and got up to wrap a Navajo blanket about her shoulders. She sighed and settled

back into his arms.

He saw then what she observed so intently: the lone figure walking the path along the cañon

floor, a small female shape leading a saddled horse.

"Esperanza," he said in surprise. "What is she doing?"

"Leaving us," Rowena said.

She spoke without dismay and just a little sadness, and Tomás knew what she and the girl had

discussed at the baile. "Why?" he asked, holding her close.

"She said she had much to learn, and if she remained here she would find it too easy to go back

to the old life she knew," Rowena said. "She said… that you and I would protect her from pain

and challenge, but she understands that what she must discover lies elsewhere. Out there."

Tomás rested his chin on her shoulder and rubbed her cheek with his. "She is wise."

"And very brave. I hope some day she comes back to us."

"She will." He turned her about and cradled her face in his hands. "We have a saying: 'No se

puede luchar contra el destino.'" One cannot fight destiny."

"Or ones true nature."

"My fighting days are over. I intend to devote the rest of my life to love." With a grin, he pulled

her back down among the furs.

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