Once Broken (20 page)

Jackie’s top crossed leg jiggled. “Here’s an idea. Why don’t you marry the psycho and have a few little psychos of your own, then, you won’t miss Gina.”

Tony couldn’t help but chuckle. “That won’t happen.”

Jackie leaned forward. “Seriously, why not spend some time being Gina’s dad, just you and her. Bring her to your parents’ house on Sundays. After a while, if you and Carmella are still together, I promise, I’ll reconsider.”

“Carmella’s gonna be pissed.”

She rolled her eyes in disbelief. “I don’t give a shit! That lunatic is
your
problem, not mine.”

*

Tony called a few days later with a change of plans. “I saw the doctor yesterday. My blood pressure is off the charts and the prognosis is bleak unless I relieve some stress. Carmella and I decided this situation is the cause. So, I can’t see Gina anymore.”

Standing beside Jackie, Gina asked, “Is that Daddy? I wanna talk to him.”

Before Jackie could digest the situation, Tony hung up, leaving her to mend the broken pieces of her little girl’s heart.

*

Gina was playing with multicolored blocks on the floor at her mother’s feet. “Mama, when’s Tuny comin’ to see me ’gain?”

Jackie put down the wooden spoon she was using to stir the spaghetti sauce, and sat on the floor with her daughter, leaning against the stove. “Honey, Tony isn’t coming back.”

“Why?” Gina asked, still playing with her blocks.

“Sweetie, I don’t know why,” Jackie answered truthfully. “Gina, honey, stop playing for a minute. Let me tell you something. Sometimes people aren’t the way they look. Like Tony. He looks like a big man, doesn’t he?” Gina nodded. “But inside he’s a scared little boy.” She put her index finger and thumb an inch apart, illustrating her point. “Now he’s scared again that he won’t be such a good daddy. So he’s not coming back to see you. I’m sorry honey.”

“But, I wike him da way he is. Did you tell him dat?”

Jackie caressed Gina’s hair. “Yes, honey, I did. He said he likes you a lot too, but he’s scared. And, when Tony gets scared, he doesn’t make a lot of sense.”
I’m going to kill the bastard.

Gina jumped up, went into the living room, and turned on the television. Jackie resumed stirring the sauce. Why must children be the victims of their parents’ stupid mistakes? Maybe I should’ve known better when he came back and not allowed him to see her. But who knew? Besides, legally I couldn’t have stopped it if I had wanted to. He was free to do exactly what he did, the son of a bitch! Peeking into the living room, Jackie saw Gina watching Sesame Street as if nothing had gone awry. What’s going on in that little mind?

The following day Gina said, “So Mama, doesn’t Tuny wuv me wike you do?”

“I don’t know if anyone could love you like I do, honey.” Jackie tickled her in an effort to lighten the mood. Gina giggled, pushing her mother’s hand away.

“Does he wuv me?”

“Honey, I know he loves you because he told me so. He’s all mixed up inside.”

“Does he wuv you, Mama, wike I do?”

“Oh honey, no one loves me like you do.”

“Why?” Gina asked, with two hands raised.

Jackie laughed. “I don’t know, honey. Maybe he does in his own way.” I hope these are the right answers. The last thing I need is to make him into something he’s not. But I don’t want to break her heart any more than the truth warrants.

“Well if he wuvs me den he’ll come to my birfday party and give me a present. You said all da people who wuv me are coming.”

“Oh honey, your birthday isn’t for a while. But I don’t think he’ll be coming to your birthday party. He’s not coming back again. Maybe Nana will bring a present from him. We’ll see.”

April 1982

Gina’s fourth birthday came and went without any word or present from Tony. Soon after Gina’s party, Jackie noticed Gina carrying around a sawdust bunny that Tony had won for her at the carnival.
Hmm, that sawdust rabbit hardly fits the bill for a kid who loves everything plush.

“Gina, how come you brought that bunny along with us today?”

“Oh, ’cuz my daddy gave me dis bunny.”

“Oh, right. He won it at the carnival.”

“Yep, ’cuz he wuvs me. And when I’m huggin’ it, he knows dat I wuv him too.”

For her daughter’s sake she swallowed her fury and said, “Honey, that’s nice. You think he knows how much you love him?”
May that rotten son of a bitch burn in hell for eternity!

Gina hugged the bunny harder. “Yup, I know it.”

*

A few months passed with no word from Tony, and Gina had stopped asking for him. Jackie often wondered what her daughter was thinking, until the day Gina came out of her room dragging a brown paper bag full of toys. “Mama, I want to give deese to the poor kids.”

Looking in the bag, Jackie saw the sawdust rabbit, a Care Bear, and books—all gifts from Tony. “Oh honey, you love Sunshine Care Bear.”

“I don’t want him anymore.” Gina went back into her room and dragged out the huge Winnie the Pooh. “Winnie too.”

“Oh honey, but you
love
Winnie. You won’t be able to read books on his lap anymore.” Jackie’s heart ached for her daughter.

“That’s okay. He needs to go live with the poor kids.”

“Where will you sit to read books?”

“On my wittle wockin’ chair.”

“Okay. If you’re sure. That’s generous of you, honey.” She hugged her daughter.
She’s making progress.

June 1982

Anna stopped by early one Saturday morning to find Jackie and Gina playing in the yard. “I hoped I’d find you two here.”

“Nana!” Gina ran into her grandmother’s open arms.

“Hi Anna. What brings you to the neighborhood?”

“Oh I was at my dentist’s office, a few blocks from here. I figured I’d stop by. Dear, Louie’s curious about Gina. He’s been asking about her for some time. He wants to meet her. Tony’s away for the weekend. So he wondered if you two would come over for a swim and barbeque today.”

“Wow, that’s surprising. Why the change?”

“I’m not sure. Louie never says anything against Tony. But I suspect he knows this is wrong. Gina is the only granddaughter he may ever have.”

“Well no offense Anna, but is he going to pull a Tony move and meet Gina and then reject her? If so, I won’t push the grandpa stuff. She can meet him. But he’ll be Louie.”

“I can’t promise anything when it comes to him right now. We can only hope for the best.”

“Then he’ll be Louie.” She turned to Gina. “Hey sweetie, want to go swimming at Nana’s house?”

“Can we?”

*

Louie was waiting at the door when they arrived. “It’s nice to see you again, Jackie. Thanks for coming.” He pecked her cheek. Looking down at Gina, he added, with a catch in his voice, “So this is our little darlin’.”

“Gina honey, this is Louie. Say hello.”

“Hello.” Gina hugged her mother’s leg. Looking up at Jackie, she whispered, “Can we swim now, Mama?”

“Sure.”

“Come on in back, Gina,” Louie said, smiling at his granddaughter. “We have a nice big pool waiting for you.”

Jackie and Gina stripped down to their bathing suits and stepped into the water. After making cocktails for Anna and Jackie and setting Jackie’s drink down at the side of the pool, Louie joined them in the water. Hoping for a hug, he asked, “Can I teach you how to swim, Gina?”

“I don’t fink so. Mama does that.” She frowned and hugged her mother.

“Oh Gina, it’s okay. Louie used to teach other little kids.”

“I don’t fink so.” Gina shook her head.

The subject was dropped. Louie threw in all the pool toys and Gina had no problem with Louie leading her around the pool in a big green alligator. When they were done, Louie wrapped his granddaughter in a fluffy towel and handed her a bowl of Doritos.

“Mama, wook what Wouie gave me.” She held up a Dorito. “My fav!”

They all laughed. “Louie, did you know Doritos are Gina’s favorite snack?”

“No. It was a good guess,” he said with a wink.

“I wuv them.” Her lips were orange.

Watching Louie and Gina interact warmed Jackie’s heart. She saw the best part of Tony in his father. Gina didn’t connect Louie as any relation to her, which was safest in Jackie’s opinion.

*

After meeting his granddaughter, Louie was smitten. Retired, Anna and Louie offered to take care of Gina one day a week. This allowed Jackie to work another day, in addition to nursery school days. It was a beneficial arrangement for all.

C
armella and Katrina Russo were identical twins and life-long rivals. Carmella continually strived to eclipse Katrina. Unfortunately for Carmella, in addition to being attractive, Katrina was warm, funny, and blessed with panache, thereby creating an unfair competition.

When the twins were children, Carmella cried to her mother. “You love Katrina more than me! I hate you!”

Sylvia Russo countered, “That’s not true Carmella. We love both of our daughters the same.” But Carmella knew as well as any objective observer that her mother was lying.

When the girls were teenagers and the phone rang at the Russo’s household, it would be some nervous young boy seeking Katrina. Katrina excelled at everything. She was a straight A student and every teacher’s pet. She was junior and senior prom queen and awarded the title of Valedictorian of the Class of ’68.

Carmella had assets too. She was equally attractive and academically successful. Nonetheless she was unable to appreciate her own accomplishments due to her gut-wrenching envy of her sister, which eventually manifested as pathological competition with the entire female population.

*

Thomas McKenna, a blond, blue-eyed Irishman, was the same age as the twins and matched their height at 5′10″. He was a plain and simple man who worked with Katrina—and proved to be the biggest thrill of Carmella’s life. Katrina and Tom dated for a few months before Tom acknowledged his attraction to Carmella, who had been flirting with him as she did with all Katrina’s boyfriends. A virtuous man, he confessed his feelings for Carmella to Katrina. Katrina was furious, not because she cared for Tom so much, but because she knew he had fallen into Carmella’s web. Carmella leaped into the role of Tom’s girlfriend. He was so enthralled with his new seductress that he proposed marriage after a few months of dating. Carmella gleefully accepted.

The wedding was an extravagant affair. One hundred guests at the Robert Paine Estate, enjoying an open bar, shrimp cocktail and clams casino, a choice of lobster or prime rib, and an elegant champagne fountain. Carmella gloated because she was married before Katrina.

*

Tom loved Italy and was fluent in Italian, so his parents’ wedding gift was a two-week honeymoon on the Amalfi coast. Almost immediately, Carmella’s insanity surfaced. On the airplane, she watched a glamorous Italian stewardess tend to Tom’s needs. From Carmella’s twisted perspective, the stewardess intentionally leaned over Tom and brushed her enormous breasts against his face under the guise of adjusting the pillow. Carmella screamed, “Fuck you! Fuck you both!” and then climbed over Tom’s legs and bolted to the lavatory.

Every head on the plane turned in their direction.

Shocked, Tom went after her. He tapped on the locked door, whispering through the crack, “Honey, let me in.”

The door lock clicked and Tom squeezed into the cramped lavatory.

“You bastard. We’re on our honeymoon and you were drooling over her boobs.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You were making eyes at that stewardess.”

“Carmella, that’s absurd. I don’t want any other woman. I love you. How could you think something so crazy? Please honey, come back to the seat. Let’s show the passengers the lovers we are.”

With a smile, she hooked her hand in his and they returned to their seats, ignoring the staring passengers. The stewardess approached them. “Is everything alright here, Signore and Signora?”

Tom couldn’t make eye contact. “Yes, thank you.”

Carmella placed her hand on Tom’s thigh and moved it up to his groin.
Get away you bitch. He’s mine.
Shocked by Carmella’s bold demonstration, the stewardess fled.
I win.

“Not here, honey.” Tom pushed her hand away.

Carmella yanked a blanket from the overhead bin and draped it over both of them, continuing the carnal massage. Tom conceded, leaned back, closed his eyes, and enjoyed the sensual pleasure. Carmella snickered.
He’s not watching anyone else now!

The couple dined in an elegant restaurant on their first night in Italy. An attractive young waitress put their plates down. Before leaving the table, she asked, “Ci sarà qualcos’altro?”

“Si,” Tom answered. “Possiamo prega di avere una bottiglia di Cà del Bosco Franciacorta Annamaria Clementi?”

“Si, signore, giusta direzione.” The waitress flashed a warm smile.

Carmella’s plate of scalding fettuccini primavera Alfredo struck Tom’s face. “Why don’t you screw her in front of me? See if I give a shit!”

Patrons gawked. The wait staff scurried about to clean up the mess. “Oh signore, stai bene?

Fettuccini, broccoli, carrots, and cream sauce were slopped from head to lap. When Tom could finally see, his wife was gone.

*

Tom stormed into the hotel room to find his wife sitting on the window seat sobbing.

“What the hell was that?” Veins protruded from his neck.

“I’m sorry, honey. I’m so jealous. I love you so much.” She attempted to throw her arms around him, but his hands grasped her wrists, intercepting her embrace. “I love you.
Please
forgive me. I can’t help myself.”

“You’d better help yourself Carmella. You burned my face. You humiliated me. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I’m sorry. Let me take care of you, baby.”

Carmella promised to behave and the couple made love. Tom woke during the night and decided to investigate Italian television. Ten minutes into a movie, Carmella said, “So is this the kind of woman you want?”

Tom jerked his head around to look at her. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. You’re fantasizing about her while you assume I’m sleeping.”