Once Found: The Pocket Watch Chronicles (20 page)

“I’d forgotten about it. Yeah, I’d like to have that. I’ll take it back with me this time.”

“If you do, I want to hear you play it once in a while. There is no sense letting it gather dust.”

He laughed. “I will, Mom. I promise.”

She canted her head to one side.

“Really, I will.”

“Okay. That’s all I have for you to sort.”

“Uh, Mom, since we have a minute, I want to ask you something.”

His mother’s eyes narrowed. “You can always ask me anything as long as you are willing to hear the answer.”

He smiled. “I know, Mom, and you are just like Mary Poppins—”

“—practically perfect in every way. So what is it you want to ask?”

“I really love Elizabeth. I want to ask her to marry me—not immediately, but soon. You always said grandma’s engagement ring would be for my bride. I’d like to have it for when I’m ready.”

She frowned, looking very serious, but opened a drawer in her dresser and took the faded velvet box from where it was hidden among her socks. She walked to the bed and sat down beside him. “We need to talk for a few minutes.”

Gabe sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy. “Sure, Mom.”

“Gabriel, this ring is yours and I will give it to you. However, I am going to ask you to think long and hard before you ask that girl to marry you.”

“Mom, I love her. I’ve loved her for years.”

“And she broke your heart once. Which, quite frankly, makes me not like her so much.”

“It was a misunderstanding.”

“That’s right. Because she is from a different world. She isn’t like us.”

“But that’s just it: she wants to be like us. I think she has always wanted to belong to a family like ours. Her parents…I’ve been closer to some teachers than they are to their daughter. After the accident, she didn’t want to go to Baltimore, but her dad tried to have her declared incompetent so he could force her. Her mom is coming around a little. I think the accident scared her.”

“As it should have.”

“I agree. They’ve lived separate lives for years. Do you remember how I thought what Elizabeth said that day—about not believing they’d come to her graduation—was a pathetic lie?”

“Yes, I do. And I agreed with you.”

“Well, I found out from an old friend of hers that it wasn’t a lie. Her parents hadn’t attended her high school or college graduation, and she’d been valedictorian at both of them. She had no reason to think they would be there.”

His mother pursed her lips in disapproval.

“I know, right?”

“Be that as it may, you are ignoring something very important here. She’s lost all her memories.”

“That’s just it, Mom. The one memory that she hasn’t lost is loving me. I was the one who walked out before, not her.”

His mother smiled. “Exactly. Maybe she did love you. Maybe she harbors some love for you still that she latched onto at a time when it was all that was familiar to her. But what happens when her memory returns? What if she doesn’t love you? What if she was as hurt by the breakup as you were and she wants nothing to do with you?”

“I don’t think that will happen. This thing between us, I can’t describe it.”

“Hormones?”

“
Mom
.”

“I’m teasing, but I really don’t think you should jump into marriage with her just yet. Give it some time. Maybe wait until she gets her memories back.”

“I won’t jump into anything. I promise.”

She arched an eyebrow at him. “But you still want the ring.”

He smiled. “I still want the ring.”

She shook her head and put the box into his hand.

Gabe sat in on the couch, idly tuning the old mandolin he’d brought back. He hadn’t played it in years. The long weekend in New Jersey had been fun, as it always was. Returning home and making love to Elizabeth after several days of enforced chastity was even more fun. This time, they made it out of the kitchen.

Did it get any better? Great afternoon sex, a delicious dinner, and a quiet evening with the woman he loved. He wanted more of this.

“Do you like living in New York?” he asked Elizabeth, who sat at the table working in one of her books.

She looked up and smiled. “I like living wherever you are.”

He chuckled. “I like that answer. But if you had the choice, would you rather live here in the city or in a more suburban place…like central New Jersey?”

“There are things I like about the city. I like Dr. Rose and the Sinclairs. But there are other nice things about not being in the city that I like, too. Why do you ask?”

“Just curious.”

But it was more than curiosity. Gabe was considering looking for a job in a pediatric practice in the area where his family lived. Maybe buy a house and start a family.

Maybe.

If he wasn’t a hospitalist, he would have more regular hours. Sure, he’d be on call once in a while, but that was nothing compared to working seven nights in a row and barely crossing paths with Elizabeth.

He started idly plucking a tune on the mandolin. It had been years, but the melodies came back. His fingers remembered the strings.

Elizabeth stopped writing to watch him, closing her eyes for a moment as if she were absorbing the melody. She picked up the tune quickly, humming as he played. “That’s lovely. I love music. I love to dance.” She stood and started swaying and dancing as he continued to play.

In that moment, they were enfolded in a cocoon of music and the indescribable connection between musician and dancer. She was breathtaking to watch. Her right hand was extended over her head as she moved gracefully in the classic, slow-quick-quick, slow-quick-quick combination of steps common to folk and country dances from all over the world.

But even as she enthralled him, something nagged at him. Why had they never done this before? He had played for her years ago, but she had never enjoyed it so much or danced while he played.

Then realization dawned.
Elizabeth doesn’t dance. Ever
.

And she doesn’t pray in Latin.

All of the incongruous images from the last few weeks bombarded him in rapid succession. Elizabeth in the ICU cowering from an ophthalmoscope. Unable to read. Gripping his hand in terror as they rode in the elevator. Delighted by how the toilet worked. Wanting to walk home from the hospital instead of getting into a car.

Bras and panties had been foreign to her. She hadn’t known how to use a phone. She didn’t recognize a lot of ordinary foods.

She had vehemently insisted that she was Catholic, but hadn’t understood the concept of other Christian denominations—and she had no idea what a rosary was.

Suddenly overwhelmed, he stopped playing.

The first night he stayed with her in the hospital, when she’d been drowsy with pain medication, she had said, “I want to remember it all when I go back.”

Was this possible?
Could this woman in front of him who was confused and sometimes terrified by the world around her, who had a deep faith that Elizabeth didn’t share, and who danced so beautifully be another soul from another time? Could souls come forward? He’d always assumed they only went backwards.

Dear God, that’s it. She’s a time traveler
. She had remembered him and believed she loved him, but that must have been one of Elizabeth’s memories. The fact that Elizabeth did love him only comforted him for a moment. If this girl had used the pocket watch, it meant Elizabeth’s life was over.

I’ve lost her.
The realization gutted him.

“What’s the matter, Gabe?”

He looked at her for a moment, trying to convince himself he was wrong, but he knew with certainty he was right. “You aren’t Elizabeth.”

“I…I…”

“You aren’t. Someone gave you the pocket watch.”

“How do you know about it?”

“Because someone—an old woman named Gertrude—gave it to me once a long time ago.”

“Gertrude didn’t give it to
me
.”

“Well, someone did.”

“No, Gabe. Gertrude gave
Elizabeth
the pocket watch.”

“That isn’t possible. The person with the watch is only gone for sixty seconds at the most. If she were given the watch, she’d be back—or dead.”

“It didn’t work that way this time. Elizabeth was needed for something, but I hadn’t done the thing yet that would end in my death. She went back when she lost consciousness during the accident, but she dropped the watch. It stayed here, so time is equal. When the time comes, we’ll be able to change back.”

“Then Elizabeth can return?”

She nodded.

“And she loves me?”

“I think she does. I don’t know how to explain how I feel if she doesn’t.”

That should have given him hope, but if anything, he felt worse. Why would he feel worse? The woman he loved was returning to him. That was when the horrible truth sunk in: he didn’t know if it was Elizabeth who he loved or this soul from the past. “But you aren’t Elizabeth, and you let me love
you
.”

She looked stunned, as if he had slapped her. “I…yes…I…”

“Never mind. I’m going out for a while. I’m sorry, but I need some space to think. I can’t do that here. I don’t know if I can stay here with you. I-I-I’m sorry.” He grabbed his jacket and left.

~ * ~

Elsie watched him leave, and it felt as if her heart had been torn to bits and thrown at her feet. She sunk to her knees, sobbing. Why did this hurt so badly? She had been doing this for Elizabeth, hadn’t she? Elsie had wanted to give her back a lost love, and she wanted to return to her own love. But the answer stared her in the face.

Because you don’t want to return to your own love, and you don’t want to give Elizabeth’s love back to her. And now you know for certain, you must.

The truth completely shattered her.

She sobbed on the floor until she had nothing left. Pulling herself together, she stood to look around at the little home she had grown to love. But it wasn’t home without Gabe.

His words echoed in the empty apartment.
I don’t know if I can stay here with you.

Right. She found Aldous Sinclair’s card and picked up the phone. She dialed the cell phone number he’d told her to use in an emergency.

He answered immediately. “Elsie? Is something wrong?”

The sound of his voice started tears flowing again. “Da?”

“Elsie, what’s happened?”

“Gabe knows about the pocket watch. He left.”

“What? I’m sending a car for you. Dixon will be there soon. Tell me what happened.”

“I’m not sure I know. We had a wonderful weekend with his family. He brought back his mandolin and was playing for me. It was beautiful, and I started to dance. Then he just started looking at me so strangely and said that someone must have given me the pocket watch.”

“How did he know about it?”

“He said Gertrude gave it to him a long time ago. I explained what happened with Elizabeth and the watch and time being equal. I told him she can return. He wanted to know if Elizabeth loves him. I told him I didn’t know how to explain how I feel if she didn’t love him.”

“Then why did he leave?”

“I’m not certain. He seemed angry that I wasn’t her, but that I had let him…well…I’d let him love me. He said he needed to think, grabbed his jacket, and left.”

“Oh, my sweet girl. I’m so sorry.”

The lump rose in her throat. She didn’t want to cry again. “Thanks, Da. I’ll just gather my things so I’m ready to go when Dixon gets here.”

As she packed, she tried to tell herself that this had always been about Elizabeth, but she knew better. At some point, she—not Elizabeth—had fallen in love with Gabe.

She left Elizabeth’s computer in the closet where it had been since the day she left the hospital. It would give them a reason to get together when Elizabeth returned. Elsie knew she should not feel so abandoned. But she did.

When Dixon arrived, she made another call. She wanted to tell Gabe where she was going. She wanted to apologize. She wanted to say goodbye.

He didn’t answer.

“This is Gabe. Leave a message.”

“Gabe…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you so angry. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I don’t want to put you out any longer. I’m going to stay with the Sinclairs until…well…it shouldn’t be much longer until…uh,” she glanced at Dixon, “…until I’m my old self again. Goodbye. I’ll never forget all you’ve done.” She hung up the phone.

“Are you ready, Dr. Quinn?”

“Yes, thank you, Dixon.”

He picked up her suitcase and a shopping bag containing the overflow and then held the door for her. “After you, ma’am.”

She fished the key Gabe had given her from her purse and locked the door. She couldn’t stop another tear from slipping down her cheek. She wiped it away hastily and left with Dixon.

~ * ~

Gabe walked to a local pub. It was a Friday night, and there was a good crowd at the bar, but he spied an empty booth in the back. He ordered a drink and sat there, trying to get his head around what had happened. He loved Elizabeth. He had for years. But when this girl entered his life, his feelings were more intense than they had ever been before. He hadn’t quite understood how that was possible. He thought maybe he had pushed away his true feelings for so long that they came bursting forth more powerful than ever.

But she wasn’t Elizabeth.

Elizabeth loved him. The girl couldn’t have felt the way she claimed to feel otherwise.

The problem was that he was no longer sure if it was Elizabeth he loved or the soul from the past.

It really didn’t matter. She was going back. He was losing her.

No, Elizabeth was returning. Why would he think of it as losing this woman he didn’t know?

Because you do know her. You knew she was different from the start
.

Damn.

He took a drink.

“Do ye mind if I sit with ye?”

Gabe looked up to see Gertrude standing by his table. She hadn’t changed a bit since he last saw her over twelve years ago. “Be my guest.”

She sat and arched an eyebrow at the sight of the drink in his hand. “You once told me ye’d never be a sick, drunk doctor.”

“And this is just one drink. I have no intention of becoming drunk or sick.”

“So what has ye upset enough to make ye drink alone tonight?”

“Don’t try to tell me you don’t know.”

“I have no idea what’s in yer head, lad.”

“But you know about Elizabeth.”

“Yes, of course I know that.”

“Then you know I’ve spent the last five weeks falling in love with someone I can’t have. Again.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The girl, the soul that is in Elizabeth’s body. I think I love her.”

“Well, that’s very nice indeed.”

“No, Gertrude, it isn’t
nice
. It isn’t nice at all. She’s only here until Elizabeth returns. She’ll leave, and my heart will be broken once again.”

“Now that’s the second time you’ve said that. What do you mean?”

He sighed, shaking his head. “Years ago, when I went back, I fell in love with a girl there.” He put his head in his hands. “Dear God, Gertrude, nothing has ever hurt so much as that.”

“Falling in love?”

“Having to leave her.”

“Ye could have stayed.”

“Believe me, I considered it. I considered leaving my family and my education, everything, just to be with her.”

“Why didn’t ye?”

“My only skill there was as a musician, which meant traveling as a minstrel. And yet, I had every intention of asking her to go with me.”

“What changed?”

“Several things. I would have been taking her away from her life and the things she loved. I also realized how very fragile life was and what a gift I had been given. In the future, I would have the ability to go to medical school and learn how to keep people well and save lives. In the past, I had no such opportunity. Suddenly, the musician’s life didn’t look so good to me.” He cast her a sidelong glance. “Which is what I suspected you intended for me to learn from the start.”

Gertrude smiled. “I’ve said before, ye’re a good lad. But ye could have stayed anyway. The choice was always yers.”

“I could have, and I had almost decided to, but…”

“But what?”

“She disappeared. I tried to find her, but before I could, someone killed me. I whispered the return word just as I lost consciousness and then woke in my own bed. I’d hoped to see you again, to return the watch. I wanted to find out what happened to her. I wanted to know she was safe.”