Once Upon a Christmas (9 page)

And with that she opened the door, climbed out of the car and walked to her cottage without looking back.

D
AMN.
Damn. Damn.

What the hell had he done?

He’d kissed his best friend.

Jack stared after Bryony, trying to decide what shocked him most. The fact that he’d kissed her, or the fact that he hadn’t wanted to stop.

He sat in the car with the engine switched off, staring into the frozen darkness feeling as though something fundamental to his existence had changed.

Where had it come from? That sudden impulse to kiss her …

Blondie was family.

As much a baby sister to him as she was to Tom and Oliver.

And until tonight he’d never thought of her in any other way.

Or had he?

Had he really never thought of her like that or was it just that he’d trained himself not to?

He sat still, watching the house, and then suddenly the lights went on. He saw her walk into her cosy sitting room and shrug off her coat, revealing that amazing red dress and an avalanche of blonde hair.

For years he hadn’t seen her in a dress and suddenly she seemed to be wearing a different one every week.

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, still able to detect the tantalising scent of her hair and skin. The instantaneous reaction of his body was so powerful that he gritted his teeth and shifted slightly in his seat, trying to find a more comfortable position.

There wasn’t one.

Suddenly, somehow, she’d invaded every part of him.

He’d made an unconscious decision never to cross that boundary but now he’d crossed it there was no going back.

Whichever way he looked at her, he didn’t see a surrogate sister any more. And he didn’t see his best friend. He saw a woman. A living, breathing, stunningly beautiful woman.

But he couldn’t do anything about it.

Lizzie was looking for a father. Someone strong who could swing her in the garden. Someone funny who’d let her watch television before school and who wouldn’t make her eat sprouts.

Well, he could do that bit with no problem. He wasn’t that keen on sprouts himself so he was more than happy to collude over their exclusion from their diet. And he had no trouble swinging her in the garden, hugging her and making her laugh. In fact, he was great at all those things.

The problem came with the last bit of her letter.

I want a daddy who will hug my mummy and stay with us for ever.

Jack leaned his head back against the seat and let out a long breath. He didn’t do for ever. He had trouble doing next month. The whole concept of ‘for ever’ frightened the life out of him.

And Bryony knew that.

She knew him better than anyone.

Which was probably why she’d looked so shocked when he’d kissed her. Hell,
he’d
been shocked! And now he was confused, too, which was a totally new experience for him. He was
never
confused about women. He knew
exactly
what he wanted from them.

Everything, as long as it wasn’t permanent.

Which meant that he had absolutely nothing to offer Bryony.

He started the engine and clenched his hands on the wheel.
He had to stop noticing her as a woman.
Surely it couldn’t be that hard? After all, he’d only just started noticing her that way. It couldn’t be that hard to go back to seeing her as his best friend.

He’d just carry on as they always had. Dropping round to see her. Chatting in her kitchen. And seeing other women.

It would be fine.

If working with Jack had been hard before the kiss, for Bryony it became even harder afterwards.

When he walked into a room she knew instantly, even when she had her back to him.

She didn’t need to see him. She
felt
him. Felt his presence with every feminine bone in her body.

And she noticed everything about him. The way the solid muscle of his shoulders moved when he reached up to yank an X-ray out of the lightbox, the way his head tilted slightly when he was concentrating on something and the way everyone always asked his opinion on everything. She noticed how good he was with anxious relatives, how strong and capable he was with terrified patients and how well he dealt with inexperienced staff. He was the cleverest doctor she’d ever worked with and he had an instinctive feel for what was wrong with a patient before he’d even examined them.

If she’d had butterflies before he’d kissed her, they seemed to have multiplied since the kiss.

Which was utterly ridiculous because obviously, for him, nothing had changed.

Their relationship followed the same pattern of blonde jokes, man jokes and evenings when he sat with his feet on her table in the kitchen, watching while she cooked, a bottle of beer snuggled in his lap.

And now they were into December and there was no sign of a man who was even remotely close to fulfilling Lizzie’s criteria for a daddy.

David hadn’t asked her out again and she’d resigned herself to the fact that he was probably now dating Nina.

‘Are you upset about that?’ she asked Jack one evening, when they were curled up in front of the fire. She was writing Christmas cards and he was staring into the flames with a distant look in his eyes.

‘Upset about what?’

‘Nina.’ She said the other woman’s name as lightly
as possible. ‘Someone told me that she’s seeing David Armstrong.’

‘Is she?’ Jack suppressed a yawn and stretched long legs out in front of him. ‘Well, good for him.’

‘You never should have sent them home together. I’m amazed you’re not upset.’

He gave her a mocking smile. ‘Come on, Blondie. How long have you known me?’

She stared at him. ‘You engineered it, didn’t you?’ Her pen fell to the floor as she suddenly realised what had happened. ‘You got rid of her.’

His gaze didn’t flicker. ‘I encouraged her to find someone else, yes.’

‘Why?’ Bryony shook her head, puzzled. ‘She was nice. And she seemed crazy about you.’ Jack looked at her steadily. ‘She was.’
Which was why he’d ended it.
It was Jack’s usual pattern.

Bryony sighed. ‘Jack, you’re thirty-four,’ she said softly. ‘You can’t run for ever.’

He gave a funny lopsided grin that made her heart turn over. ‘Watch me.’

‘Listen …’ She put her pen down and gave up on her Christmas cards. They could wait. ‘I know your parents’ divorce was really difficult for you, but you can’t—’

‘Drop it, Blondie. I don’t want to talk about it.’ His eyes glittered ominously and she saw the warning in the blue depths. Taboo subject.

She sighed. ‘But, Jack, you can’t—’

‘Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?’
he drawled lazily, and she rolled her eyes, exasperated by his refusal to talk about his emotions. ‘I don’t know.’

‘Because she didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills.’ Jack gave a wicked smile that made her heart jump in her chest.

He was so shockingly handsome it was totally unfair, and when he smiled like that she just melted.

‘How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?’ She smiled sweetly. ‘No one knows. It’s never been done. So what did Nina do wrong?’

Jack gave a sardonic smile. ‘Frankly? She said, “I love you”,’ he said dryly, and gave a mock shudder. ‘Which is the same as “goodbye” in my language.’

Bryony rolled her eyes. ‘They always say that if you want to get rid of a man, you should say “I love you, I want to marry you and most of all I want to have your children.” It’s guaranteed to leave skid marks.’

Jack laughed. ‘That’s just about the size of it. Why do you think I bought a Ferrari?’

Bryony sighed. ‘Poor Nina.’

‘She knew the score.’

But Bryony was willing to bet that knowing the score hadn’t made it any easier. On the other hand, Nina seemed to have moved on quite happily to David so she couldn’t have been that broken-hearted.

‘One day you’ll settle down, Jack,’ Bryony predicted, licking another envelope. ‘You’ll be such a great father.’

‘That’s nonsense.’

‘Look how great you are with Lizzie.’

‘That’s because I have all the fun and none of the responsibility,’
he said shortly, frowning slightly as he looked at her.

‘I don’t think that’s true. Lizzie expects a lot from you and you always deliver. How many netball matches have you been to this year?’

Jack grinned. ‘Lots. You know me. Rugby, rock-climbing, netball—my three favourite sports.’

She laughed. ‘Precisely. The sight of you standing on the side of a netball court would be funny if it wasn’t so touching.’ She added the envelope to the ever-growing pile. ‘And it is touching, Jack. You’re fantastic with Lizzie.’

A muscle worked in his jaw. ‘But what she really wants is a father.’

Bryony shrugged. ‘And who can blame her for that?’

‘She doesn’t realise that fathers aren’t perfect.’

‘I think she probably does, actually. But she still wants someone.’

‘So how is the quest going? Any suitable candidates lined up? Obviously David is now off the scene …’

Something in his tone made her glance up at him but his expression was neutral.

‘Well, it’s not going that well,’ Bryony muttered, licking another envelope and adding it to the pile. ‘Christmas is three weeks away and I don’t have another date until Saturday.’

His expression was suddenly hostile. ‘You have a date on Saturday? Who with?’

Bryony blushed slightly. ‘Toby.’

‘Toby who?’ Jack was frowning and she laughed.

‘You know—our Toby. Toby from the mountain rescue team.’

‘You’re kidding!’ He glared at her. ‘Toby? He’s totally unsuitable.’

‘Calm down, Jack,’ Bryony said mildly, gathering up all the envelopes and putting them on the table. ‘Toby is nice. And he’s always been kind to Lizzie.’

‘Toby has a terrible reputation with women,’ Jack said frostily, and she shrugged.

‘So do you, Jack.’

‘But I’m not dating you.’

And how she wished he was. Her gaze met his and held and then he sucked in a breath and rose to his feet, powerful and athletic.

‘You can’t date Toby.’

‘Why not?’

There was a long silence and a muscle twitched in his jaw. ‘Because he isn’t right for you.’

She sighed. ‘Jack, you’re so jaded about relationships that you’re never going to think anyone is right, but trust me when I say I’m not going to choose anyone who would hurt Lizzie.’

He took several deep breaths. ‘I don’t want anyone to hurt you either.’

‘I know that.’ She smiled at him, touched that he cared at least that much. ‘You don’t need to be so protective. It’s nice, but I can look after myself.’

‘Where are you going on Saturday?’

She wondered why he was asking and then decided that it was idle curiosity. ‘Actually, I don’t know. Toby is keeping it a secret.’ She smiled. ‘Isn’t it romantic?’

‘Suspicious is the word I would use,’ Jack muttered,
grabbing his coat and car keys and making for the door. ‘I’ll talk to him.’

Bryony gave an exasperated sigh. ‘Jack, you are not my minder.’

‘Toby is definitely not to be trusted when it comes to women,’ Jack growled. ‘I want him to know that I’m looking out for you.’

‘I should think he knows that, seeing as you spend half your life in my house,’ Bryony pointed out mildly, and he nodded.

‘Well, let’s hope so. I won’t have him messing either of my girls around.’
His girls.

Bryony swallowed and her eyes clashed with his. Something flickered in those blue depths and she knew that he was remembering their kiss. ‘We’re not “your girls”, Jack.’

He hesitated and a strange expression crossed his handsome face as he stared down at her. Then he muttered something under his breath, jerked open the front door and left the house.

The next day the temperature dropped further still and it started to snow. Wrapped up in her MRT gear, Bryony was posting her Christmas cards when her pager went off.

Relieved that Lizzie was spending the day with her mother, she drove herself to the rescue base, which was less than five minutes’ drive from her house.

‘Two women out walking,’ Jack told her, zipping up his jacket. ‘One has cut herself and one has an ankle injury.’
He exchanged looks with Bryony. ‘What is it with women and ankles?’

‘I don’t know but at least it gives you and me an excuse to climb mountains in filthy weather,’ she said happily, and he smiled.

‘I suppose there is that.’

The rest of the team gathered, picking up equipment and listening while they were given a brief.

‘We’re not sure where they are—’ Sean, leader of the MRT, tapped a point on the map ‘—but this was where they were aiming for when it started to snow. The path is covered now and they’re totally lost.’

Bryony looked at the map. ‘It’s really easy to lose that path in bad weather,’ she said. ‘I know because I’ve done it myself.’

Jack rolled his eyes. ‘Never let a blonde loose on a mountain,’ he drawled, but his eyes gleamed wickedly and she smiled back at him.

‘At least a girl will ask for directions if she’s lost. Men never ask for directions.’

‘That’s because they don’t need to. Men don’t get lost,’ Jack returned blithely, and Sean sighed.

‘Maybe you two could argue on the way,’ he suggested mildly, pointing at the map. ‘Ben, you go with Toby up this path and hopefully we’ll come across them. Stay in touch. And watch yourselves. The weather is awful. I’ll deploy the rest of the team as they arrive.’

Toby glanced at Bryony. ‘I could go with Bryony …’

‘No, you couldn’t.’ Jack’s response was instantaneous, his blue gaze hard and uncompromising. ‘I go with Bryony.’

Toby’s eyes narrowed slightly and then he shrugged. ‘Whatever.’

Bryony followed Jack out of the rescue base and they drove a short distance and parked the four-wheel-drive in a farm near the path.

Jack hoisted the rucksack onto his back and waited while she did the same thing. ‘Come on. We need to get going before we freeze to death.’

They set off at a brisk pace and she glanced at the sky. ‘It’s going to snow again in a minute.’

‘It’s Christmas,’ Jack pointed out. ‘It’s supposed to snow.’

Bryony gave a shiver and pulled her fleece up to her chin. ‘Well, it looks nice on the Christmas cards but it’s not so great when you’re out on the mountains. Why didn’t you let me go with Toby?’