Once We Were (9 page)

“
You don't even realize it. You're knackered,” Ioan persisted.

“
What's this all about?” Cora smiled at Mr. Spruce. “Why does he look so nervous?”

“
Excuse us, Miss Harlow. Business requires a visit to the old Saier property. It will only take a minute,” Mr. Spruce informed her as the car pulled in front of the Victorian house.

It violated everything about good modern taste. The crimson paint hadn't been treated in years. The only color that prevailed was the black paint lining all the doors and windows. The untamed garden choked out any former charm. The house hated sunlight. Whether one was out or in, it was always night. Its cold unfeeling stare made Cora remember how much she hated that man. The house represented everything he stood for.

“Mr. Spruce, a word with you,” Ioan said gravely.

“
Of course. Do follow me in and we'll discuss whatever you're weeping about, Mr. Saier.” Mr. Spruce merrily pranced up the path.

“
Wait, here,” Ioan told Cora. “I'll sort him out.” Mr. Spruce opened the door for him and Ioan let him have it as soon as the door shut.

Cora sat in front of the withered rose beds. She felt trapped in a Poe novel. Even the roses suffered under the old man's hand.  There was no escape. This is the life Ioan had run from. She regretted not understanding him before. A small bud thirsted for the sunlight in the circle of dead plants. It was on the verge of blooming. Its blushing cream bulb curved romantically upon its pistil. Cora smiled. It was an unexpected surprise. She remembered the white roses lying near her silverware during her last dinner on Titanic. She saw Ioan's face again in the flickering firelight. She remembered locking the roses in her drawer, thinking they'd be safe. Nothing was safe from the sea. She regarded herself  lucky compared to passengers who lost their fortunes on board. It was an awful misconception. She had lost everything she loved to the sea.

A strong hand seized the stem and yanked the rose out of the flower bed. Its roots dangled helplessly in the air. The hand ripped it out with such force, the rose bent at the neck and drooped sideways. It was unable to support itself. Cora turned  appalled to its butcher. He grinned at her.

“
Forgive me,” he said. “I just thought such a pretty thing should belong to you, but didn't realize my own strength.” It had to be true. It was almost possible to forgive him. He was quite herculean with a sturdy jaw and appealing build. He sported the latest fashion for men, topped with a black derby. It perched on slick copper hair. His eyes were astoundingly gray, making him quite beautiful for a man.

With his looks, it was impossible for a woman to remember his wrongdoings, but he had a knack for doing them. He dropped the gutted rose onto the sidewalk and squashed it under his shiny dress shoes. The rose bled under his foot and withered away with the breeze. “No matter,” he said. “I brought a spare.” He handed her a lavender orchid right from his coat pocket. Then made some crude remark about how deep his pockets really were. Cora hesitated. “Have we met?” she asked.

“My apologies. I forgot to properly introduce myself over again,” he chuckled.

“
Cora,” Mr. Harlow said cheerfully as he approached the two. “I thought we'd lost you again. I see you've met my travel companion,” Mr. Harlow told her. “You do remember Emmett O'Riley?”

“
Emmett?” Cora cried. “I-I mean Mr. O'Riley.”

“
Guilty as charged,” he replied

“
I can't imagine what you must be doing here,” she said gawkily.

“
Try.” He grinned devilishly.

Mr. Harlow chuckled. “Oh, come now. You act so surprised. I believe you two were corresponding by letter overseas, isn't that so? I thought you'd be pleased to finally meet again, but you seem rather displeased, my dear.”

“Not at all, but now isn't really the best time,” Cora answered, glancing back at the house.

“
I understand. Considering all you've been through, now is not the ideal time for meeting acquaintances,” Emmett said. “I am sincerely sorry, Miss Cora, but I was anxious to know you were safe and to offer my consolation. We are old friends, after all.”

“
Thank you, Mr. O'Riley,” Cora answered. “But it's not in my nature to cry on someone's shoulder. I grieve  privately.”

“
We'd better get you inside where it's warm,” Mr. Harlow changed the subject.

“
A captial idea,” Emmett exclaimed. “I reserved rooms for us at the Artisan hotel, which I hear is exquisite for the price. Do you have any luggage you'd like me to carry?”

“
I wasn't allowed any luggage whilst leaving the ship, but I would like to bid farewell to my host, if you don't mind.”

“
Of course,” Emmett told her. “Take as much time as you need.”

Cora nodded and turned away from his charming smile. She took a deep breath and gracefully ascended the stairs. She felt Emmett's eyes trace her figure. It was no surprise why he'd come.

The house was eerily silent as she made her way through the dark cold halls. “Ioan?” He stood in the sitting room, gazing at a photograph of his father on the wall. His shoulders were stiff and rigid. No doubt Mr. Spruce stormed off in defeat. The tension could have crushed all the glass in the room.

“
There's the bastard,” Ioan loathed. “All the money in the world, and everything he threw away, including me. It still couldn't save him.”

“
Ioan, they're waiting for me,” Cora told him. “I came to say goodbye.”

He didn't answer.

Cora placed the orchid on the sofa and approached him. His eyes burned through the portrait. She touched his shoulders gently and caressed them. Anything to loosen him up. “It will be alright. Try not to think so much,” she whispered to him. He gradually relaxed. She rested her head against his back. “I can never thank you enough for what you did.”

“
It was my duty,” he answered.

“
Not just your duty,” she said. “I won't forget any of it.”

She let go of him and turned to leave. “If you walk away, I'll have nothing after  this tragedy,” he told her.

“This isn't where I belong,” she replied. “I have to go home.”

“
I've no power to make you stay, but by God, I will try, even if I have to follow you on my knees to that buggy.”

“
Please don't do that,” Cora said, knowing he most certainly would. “Don't complicate things. I'm going away. You'll be alright, won't you?”

Ioan glanced out the window. Emmett glanced at his pocket watch impatiently. “Of course,” he said. “I understand now. Well, you don't want to keep him waiting.”

“Ioan-”

He kissed her hair. “It's like you said. I'll be alright. I wish you the best of luck, Miss Harlow.”

“You too, Mr. Saier,” she answered. “Good luck.”

“
Where do I go from here? Even now as I tell myself this is better for you, I fail to let you go. I nearly died out there, and I'm a man who is determined to live with no regrets. There was one regret I couldn't die with. I abandoned you. I had enough courage to jump ship, but nothing to stand up to that
man I called a father. I let you go. I'll always question why. You who meant
everything
to me, who I'd be
damned
to see on another man's arm. I would trade anything for your forgiveness. I've given you my last breath, and I am willing to give much more if you asked me to. I thought you should know.”

“
Thank you. It's worth knowing, but marriage is a symbol of a woman's success. He's a lawyer, you know. For me, that's more than I could do for myself,” Cora replied.

“
It's more than a sailor could give you, you mean,” Ioan remarked.

“
Time's run out. You are set in your ways and I am set in mine. We have to put away childish fantasies and accept our friendship with our departure. Maybe in another life, fate will prove kinder to us. Now will you step aside?”

“
You little liar,” he declared. “Can you think of anything that twisted, perverted, brute has given you that will amount to one thing I have? I see it clearly in your eyes, yet you stand there and lie to me just to make it easier on yourself. I'm everything to you. It's me, Cora.
I'm
the better man. He won't come close. I'm the reason you will stay and we will both stop this nonsense and you will marry me and we will have children and a place we call home and we will be happy and you will not leave this room until I have thoroughly convinced you.”

When he kissed her, it was magic, like those nights on the Titanic. She was his again. She could never escape. Ioan's lips slowly parted from hers and Cora shakily drew in a breath. “And if you leave, and one day he kisses you like that, and you still feel the same as you do now, then I will admit I was wrong,” he told to her. “I never admit I'm wrong. You'll never feel like this again.”

“It's not required for a successful marriage,” Cora managed to say. “I couldn't appreciate your honesty more, but it's highly irrelevant. The arrangements are set. I wouldn't risk my father's integrity after he's given his approval to Emmett. He is too good of a man. Like all women, I will accept what I have and learn to be content. I will never forget the man who saved my life. Never for the worth of my days.” She wanted to say more. He was right in all aspects but it would only make it harder for him. She must act as humane as possible. Ioan felt her warmth slip away from him. It was the coldest he'd ever felt.

Chapter 4

Mr. Harlow questioned his decision. Cora avoided conversation with everyone. She wouldn't talk about her stay in New York or the mysterious friend she left behind. The further they drove from the Saier house, the more the color faded from her cheeks. She was ghastly pale. It caused her father great concern. “Are you ill, dear?” he asked. “You look like you caught something.”

“I'm going home. I've never felt better,” she answered. She smiled reassuringly at him, the first attempt he'd seen all morning. It was sorrowfully unsuccessful. “It's the sinking. It's torturing you. I should have never let you get on that boat,” he regretted.

“
Father, don't.”

“
It wasn't my only mistake,” he said. “How could I have thought that sending you away to an English school was the best decision? I regret the day I watched you sail away eleven years ago. My little Coralie. You didn't need that school. You were already perfect. I should have never done it. You wouldn't have to go through this. You must loath me for it.”

“
You thought it would make me better. How can I think anything but kindly of you? I'm a wiser woman for it. There's nothing I intend to regret. I could only love you more for wanting what's best for me,” Cora told him.

Emmett stepped inside the train car.  “Apparently, there's some kind of delay. I could've figured that out myself,” he said irritably. “The attendant assured me we'll be on our way shortly.” He smiled at Cora, glad to see she'd finally drew her eyes from the window. “How are you feeling, my sweet?”

“Not too well, I'm afraid,” Mr. Harlow said regretfully.

“
Well she's been poorly nourished the past few days,” Emmett commented. “That man, Saier, isn't it? You'd think with all his worth he'd have taken better care of you.”

“
Charles Saier?” Mr. Harlow asked astonished. He looked at Cora. “Is that the friend you were staying with?”

Cora glared at Emmett. He continued delightfully. “No, sir, Charles Saier passed away two weeks ago. The house we found your daughter at now belongs to his son, Ioan Saier. You do remember him?”

“Why didn't you say anything about it?” Mr. Harlow asked Cora. “You stayed in New York for him? Have you forgotten what his father did to us? I made it unmistakably clear you would have nothing to do with that boy or any of those covetous goblins. What's gotten into you?”

“
Don't be too hard on her, Mr. Harlow. The rich can be tricky folk. It's all a game to those sort of men. They shoot to tally high scores when it comes to women. It's a good game when the rich lose everything and we triumph on their losses. It's more admirable nonetheless when a man earns his wealth rather than have it handed to him. He appreciates it more.” He proudly looked over his new trophy wife. “Oh well. You're in good hands now. Would you like a drink, Miss Harlow?”

“
I don't think my stomach will tolerate it,” she answered darkly. “But thank you.”

She turned back to the window. Emmett scowled at her bare hand. “Did you forget your engagement band, my sweet?”

“It's in my pocket,” she answered quietly.

“
Your pocket?” Emmett chuckled. “And not on your pretty little hand? Is my sweet so unsatisfied with the diamond that she must hide it?”

“
It's very beautiful,” Cora answered. “I just don't think it proper to wear it until the
engagement
is officially announced.”

“
Then I shall have to hurry,” Emmett grinned. “I wouldn't want anyone getting smart ideas. I dare say, Mrs. Cora Emmett O'Riley does have a ring to it.”

He left the car chanting, “Mrs. Emmett O'Riley. Mrs. Emmett O'Riley.”

Mr. Harlow sipped his tea quietly. “You love him?” he asked finally.

“
No, absolutely not,” Cora said. “But I will learn to tolerate him.”

“
I wasn't talking about Mr. O'Riley,” he replied. “I'm just trying to understand something. You know what Mr. Saier's kind is like. Why would you go looking for him? Haven't you endured enough?”

“
I wasn't looking for him,” Cora said. “He just showed up at the right time. He saved my life. I'd still be trapped in the depths of Titanic. I couldn't leave him to die in that hospital.”

“
Then I should make a note to thank him.”

“
Don't insist on it,” Cora warned him. “He would only tell you it was his duty.”

“
It doesn't change what I think of his father or my opinion of his class. I wish you hadn't got yourself into this,” her father told her.

“
Yes, I've already heard it from him.”

“
Nonetheless, he is the man who saved my daughter from a sinking ship, put her on a lifeboat, and sent her home. There must be something he's willing to accept for my gratitude.”

“
Nothing pleases Mr. Saier. He'd tell you he was happy and that his life is the sea. He would never trade that satisfaction for the world.”

“
I beg to differ,” Mr. Harlow replied. “I suspect that somewhere in his heart, he cherishes something dearer than the sea. I've kept something from you, Cora. I am quite ashamed of myself. He never left you, as his father had said. He came back for you. He pounded on my door, soaked to the bone, and demanded to speak to you at once.”

“
I thought he was bluffing.”

“
I thought it best you didn't know about it. You'd already suffered enough. It seems I've done more damage than good.”

“
Don't go saying that.”

“
It's not up for debate,” Mr. Harlow interrupted. “Just friendly conversation.” He took another sip of tea. “When I waved goodbye to you eleven years ago, I knew you wouldn't be my little Cora anymore. I would have given anything to keep you that way, but I must let you have your wings. I would shield you from anymore heartache, and as such, I am also the last person who wishes to stand in the way of your happiness. I trust your decision. I want you to understand that I will support your choice whatever the outcome may be.”

He stood before she could argue.

“This tea is poison,” he said disgusted. “Maybe Mr. O'Riley has a better recommendation. Excuse me.”

He made no attempt to join Mr. O'Riley. He sat at a newspaper in another car. He briefly glanced over the heading,
“Businessman Luckett Offers Reward For Missing Daughter and Heiress”
.

At interval, he glanced at his watch. He had only gone ten minutes before he felt the train jolt forward. He sighed relieved as the horn sounded and the train station slipped away. He folded the newspaper and  made his way back to his car. “I'm glad they finally made up their minds,” he said as he stepped in the car. He froze upon turning.

The car was empty. Cora was gone. Her handkerchief kept her place. The diamond engagement ring rested neatly on the lace, silent and resolved as the air. Mr. Harlow smiled, though bitter sweetly. He folded the ring in the handkerchief and slipped it into his coat pocket. He sat quietly and poured another cup of tea. The sun rays beamed against the window, illuminating sparkling raindrops. For moments, he was lost in thought admiring the trees roll by. He waited for her, but Cora never returned.