One Day at a Time (Starting Over Series Book 4) (9 page)

Tessa: Your secret’s safe with me. I’m nervous about meeting your sister this weekend. What happens if she doesn’t like me? Or what if she thinks you could do better?

Cash: First of all, how could my sister not love you? Second, you’re the one who could do better, but I kind of like you so I think I’d like to keep you around.

Tessa: Thank you, I’d like that too.

He let her go and made his way to the Lutheran church that held the NA meetings. His friends, Betsy and Sam, stood out front, smoking. Betsy quit before having her kids, but did allow herself a cigarette before and after the meetings. He greeted them and proceeded to light a smoke of his own. They made small talk while they finished.

Snuffing out his cigarette, he followed the others inside. He grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down next to Betsy. Sam was leading the meeting tonight. They began their meeting with the Lord’s Prayer. Sam spoke for a little bit; he’d slipped up six months ago. It was only the one time, and he immediately went back into treatment. It was a sad reminder to all of them that even now they could all slip up. Cash had been following the mantra—one day at a time—since he got clean.

When Sam was done, Cash raised his hand, signaling he wanted to speak next. “I’ve been sober for fifty-six months. My business is going great, I’ve written some great songs, and I’ve met someone. I know I need to share things with her, but I’m scared. What’s she going to say when I tell her I’m an addict? That it’s because of my poor choices that Abby calls two other people Mom and Dad. I can’t help but worry she’s going to run. I know if I see a future with her I have to take that risk, but I’m still scared to death.”

Betsy held up her hand. “First, congratulations on fifty-six months sober. You know I see you like a pesky big brother. I don’t know anyone more deserving of love than you. You’ve come such a long way since I met you four years ago when you walked into Jared’s tattoo parlor. If she can’t accept it, she’s not the girl for you, but if she does, then hold on to her and enjoy it one day at a time.”

He grabbed Betsy’s hand, giving it a squeeze, “Thanks, sweetheart.”

Once everyone said their piece, they finished up their meeting with the Serenity Prayer.

He walked out of the church and joined Betsy as she smoked her second cigarette. “Is Dario home with the kids?”

“Yeah, today was his day off. As soon as I get home, his mom is coming over to stay with the kids so my man can take me out. So, tell me more about this girl.”

“I met her a few weeks ago. Her name’s Tessa. She’s a manager at this bookstore-café that I found called Java Drama. She’s very sweet and caring, but she’s so damn innocent. It kind of scares me that once she knows the truth it’ll be over. I know I keep saying that, but this is my first relationship since I got clean, and I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

He’d been back and forth, over and over again about breaking things off with her since he met her. It was for her own good, but he was incredibly selfish and wanted her something fierce. “She’s meeting my family on Saturday. Abby has a dance recital, and JoJo got me a couple of tickets. After that were going to cook out at her and Dylan’s place.”

He wanted to see what his sister and family thought of Tessa, but he already knew they were going to love her.

“I can’t wait to hear all about it. Don’t forget Saturday night at the barn. You can bring her with!” She started clapping and hopping around like a total dork. “This is so great! I’ll be there with Dario and the girls. Has she heard you play yet?”

“You’re as bad as my sister. Slow down. Poor Dario, he’s trapped in a house with three of you and one who can hardly talk yet.” She slapped his arm. “Ow! Yes, I planned on bringing her, and yes, she’s heard me play. I will be talking to that husband of yours about your hitting.” She rolled her eyes as he walked her to her mini-van. He hugged her goodbye and left. He wanted Saturday to go well, and if it did, then he’d sit her down, telling her everything.

Chapter Six

Tessa opened her mouth as Cash’s tongue swept inside. He pressed her back into the sofa. She loved the feel of him on top of her. Her hands slid up under his t-shirt, savoring the feel of his skin, all warm, soft but hard. She felt his muscles flex under her fingertips. It had been a pleasant surprise when he had texted her earlier, asking if she could come over because he missed her.

It had been a slow Wednesday at the bookstore, and her boss sent her home early. She had called her brother before she left and got a list of groceries he wanted so she could make lunches for him and Josie. She knew she did a lot more for her brother than she probably needed to, but she couldn’t help it. It was in her nature to be the caretaker. A girl she used to work with tried to convince her that her brother was taking advantage of her. Tessa never felt that way.

She was happy to give her brother as much help as he needed. He’d given her so much when he took her in when she turned eighteen. He already had a lot on his plate: a young wife, a toddler, and a stressful job, but he still came and took her away from their dad the minute she turned eighteen. Neither one of them ever looked back.

Pushing her cart through Earth Fare, she was walking through the produce when her phone went off. She knew she probably had the biggest grin on her face.

Cash: Hey, babe, I’m missing you. Can you come over tonight? I want to see you.

Tessa: Sure, Jonathon’s off tonight so Josie’s covered. Do you want me to bring dinner? I could make you my delicious B.L.T’s.

She was already grabbing tomatoes and romaine lettuce when he responded. It was a picture of himself giving her a thumbs up. She saved the photo and told him she’d see him in a couple of hours, if not sooner.

While she waited to check out, she sent her brother a quick text. She let him know she was going to Cash’s for dinner as soon as she dropped the groceries off and freshened up. She didn’t need to check in with him, but he was a worrier, so she’d let him know she was going.

Once she got to Cash’s, she made her way to the door when a woman’s voice called out to her. She turned toward the sound and knew her eyes widened at the sight coming toward her. She was obviously an older woman. Her blonde hair was cut short and stood straight up in spots. The woman was wearing a t-shirt that looked like she was skinny and wearing a bikini. The shorts were plain, but the best part was the multi-colored socks and the purple Crocs.

“Are you Cash Money’s lady friend?” the lady asked her.

“Um, yes? I’m Tessa.” She stuck her hand out, but the other woman wrapped her arms around her, squeezing her tight.

“It’s really, really great to meet you, Tessa. Everyone calls me Mac.”

“Really, Mac? You couldn’t wait for me to introduce you?” They both turned to Cash, who just stepped outside. She could tell he was very fond of Mac. He wrapped his arm around Tessa’s shoulder, kissing her temple. She loved when he did that because he always took a whiff of her hair.

Mac only stayed a few more minutes before walking back over to her house, and Cash led Tessa inside. They talked while she cooked, and she loved how at ease she felt with him. She still hadn’t told him about her dad or the abuse. She didn’t want to scare him off, but she opened up about getting teased when she was younger because of her lisp. He told her about his sister and her family. She was excited but nervous to meet them. She was even going to meet his friends on Saturday night at a place called the Barn.

After they were done eating, they worked side by side cleaning up his kitchen. Every few minutes he’d either lean in and kiss her or wrap his arms around her waist, kissing her neck as she washed the dishes. She knew she was smiling like a big old idiot, but he made her smile like that.

When that was all done they settled in on his couch to watch a movie that quickly led them to where they were now.

She wanted to see his bare chest so she slid her hands up and up until he caught on to what she was trying to do and grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled it off. He began kissing his way to her ear, gently nipping at her lobe and causing her to gasp. His lips traveled down her neck. Arching into him, she could feel that his penis was hard. It came in contact with her core, and even though they had bottoms on it still caused her to moan. She wanted to touch it, wanted to see if it was like how it was described in books. Was the skin warm and soft, but like steel?

He pushed up her shirt, kissing a path until he reached her bra covered nipple. She felt him lick her over the fabric. It puckered beneath the wet fabric, and he looked up at her. “Is this okay? I’ll stop whenev—” She put her hand over his mouth.

“Please don’t stop,” she whispered. His hands slid around her ribs until he reached the hooks and he undid them, pulling her bra off along with her t-shirt. She felt extremely exposed. Before she could cover herself, his mouth was back on her, sucking her nipple into his mouth. She gripped his hair and moaned. Her body seemed to have a mind of its own, because she lifted her hips to grind against his hardened penis, causing a moan to slip past his lips and vibrating against her breast.

She knew if he stuck his hand in her panties he’d find her wet, but she couldn’t muster up the strength to be embarrassed because he was doing this to her. Like he was reading her mind, he undid her shorts and slid his calloused fingers down inside her panties. He kissed her lips deeply as his fingers came in contact with her wet core. His fingers slid a little lower and lingered over her entrance. “Are you okay, Tessa? I meant what I said. Stop me if you’re uncomfortable with anything I’m doing. I just want to touch you a little bit. Is that okay?”

“Yes-s. Can I touch you too?” She wanted to feel his hardened flesh beneath her hand.

“Darlin’, you can touch me any time you want.” Reaching down, she unbuttoned his shorts and then thrust her hand down his pants and inside his boxers. His penis was just like it was described in the books she read. It was hard, but the skin was soft and warm. She felt the wetness at the tip and rubbed it around with her thumb.

They worked each other over until they both started moaning into each other’s mouths. She felt tingles start low in her belly as she ground against his hand. A single finger entered her body, and she shattered around him. A few seconds later she felt a sticky wetness all over the palm of her hand as Cash groaned against her lips. She felt her cheeks heat up and buried her head in his neck. A giggle escaped, and she tried to burrow closer to him.

He kissed her hard on the lips. “Let me go get you a washcloth to clean up with.” She pulled her hand out of his shorts but didn’t get to see anything because he already was tucking himself back in. He disappeared down the hall, and she looked down at her hand. The white-clear sticky fluid covered her entire palm. Bringing her hand up, she scooped some of the viscous fluid with her finger. She knew women swallowed this stuff all the time when giving blowjobs, so she decided to see for herself what it tasted like. Sticking her finger in her mouth she noticed it was salty, warm but not totally unpleasant. She was going to do it again, but Cash appearing next to her caused her to freeze.

Her cheeks flared as mortification set in. “Oh my god.” As she realized she didn’t have a shirt on, she flew up off his couch and tripped over the coffee table. Arms wrapped around her waist to stop her from hitting the floor.

“You okay?” Shaking her head, she felt the tears start to build in her eyes. How humiliating—he probably thought she was an idiot. She tried pulling away from him, but he held tight. “Don’t pull away from me.” His lips touched her ear. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. You can taste me anytime, darlin’.”

He proceeded to clean her up. She thought it would be awkward, but it wasn’t. He’d held her eyes the entire time he wiped her hand and breast off, because, of course, she had tried to cover herself with that hand when she was caught. When he was done wiping her off, Cash helped her put bra and shirt back on. He pulled her into a hug. She smiled as she felt him inhale with his nose buried in her hair.

“I want you to spend the whole weekend with me. Will you?”

Her heart started pounding in her chest, but in a good way. Was she ready for that? Sure, she felt strongly for him already, but was she ready to cross the line into something more serious? What if she thought it was getting serious, but he didn’t?

Taking a deep breath, she decided to push past the fear and self-doubt. If this turned into nothing, she would at least have the experience, but she was ready to take that leap, and god help her, she was scared. With a shaky hand she reached out, cupping his cheek in her palm, her thumb causing a raspy sound as she rubbed his jaw.

“I would love to spend the weekend with you.” She was proud of herself for sounding so much more confident than she really was. “When do you want me to come over?”

He kissed her lips then whispered against them, “When can you come on Friday?” He was making it hard to think as he kept kissing her.

“I’ll let you know tomorrow. I-I don’t know what time my brother works on Fr-Friday.” They continued kissing in the middle of his living room until he finally let her go.

***

Cash walked through his house one more time. Tessa was due any minute, and this was her first sleepover with him, or any man, for that matter. He wasn’t a slob, but his house could use a good scrubbing. He had cleaned from the moment he got home three hours ago. He’d even gone to the grocery store to stock his cupboards and refrigerator.