One Day You'll Be Mine: Steamy Contemporary Military Romance (12 page)

Chapter 18: Natalia

I never bothered speaking to Hollis when I left. Our interactions had become so violent, Kelli and I finished packing my truck and I stayed with her before hitting the road.

Jordan stayed with me. He enjoyed spending extra time with Karter, and Kelli’s festive mood made it seem like a big party for him. Hollis stopped by to check on him. He and Kristophe would spend time outside Kelli and I’s presence.

Kelli, thank goodness, agreed to be Jordan’s guardian. She’d have the power to access our home, pick Jordan up from school, take him to the doctor, and care for him like her own child. I breathed a sigh of relief when the paperwork was filed because I didn’t want to leave him simply in the hands of Hollis.

Though initially terrifying, the two-day road trip was peaceful. I released so much stress driving. My solo trip was an opportunity to catch up on audiobooks I hadn’t finished in so long. Rachel Vincent’s
Menagerie
was amazing. I was moved by the way she plotted the world through a dark lens of magical realism, using this story to highlight human darkness and impiety in the treatment of others. I adored masterful modern writing; it was something I couldn’t get enough of.

Once I finished
Menagerie
, I moved on to
Red Queen
by Victoria Aveyard. Another novel set in an ethereal alternate reality, the story highlights the classic class struggles between the haves and the have-nots. In this world, the elite were silver-blooded humans with supernatural abilities, and their servant class was comprised of red-blooded humans lacking any reverent powers.

Of course, I checked in with Kelli and Jordan whenever I stopped to rest. Kelli ensured I didn’t drive too long or too far, and she insisted I collect keychains and mugs for her and Jordan in every state I traveled to on my trip.

“I don’t care if it’s just California, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas! We want keychains and mugs!” Jordan chimed in next to her, saying, “Yeah mom! What Ms. Kelli says?”

I placed the mugs, keychains, and the few other knickknacks I’d picked up in a special box I left on Natalia’s counter. I had to admit, she had a gorgeous home. I’d never really been to Dallas, but the city seemed nice. I looked forward to unwinding here.

While Natalia was at work, I’d spend my days listening to audiobooks while laying in bed. When I couldn’t take anymore laying around, I’d get up and find something to clean. It was a tough task, because Rose kept a pretty spotless home, however, after a week, I realized cooking is where I’d best contribute.

Rose hardly had time to cook outside just a few times per week, but she had groceries in her fridge to die for. Both fridge and freezer sections were stocked with all types of curated marinades, produce, seafood, grains, and dry goods. I hadn’t been able to cook in a while, but I picked up my love of the art again as time passed. It was amazing to cook without limitations, or having to wonder if there was any convincing my sometimes finicky pizza-loving son to try something new.

Cooking reminded me of the days I’d experiment in Mrs. Houston’s kitchen on the weekends. Hollis and Ellis’s mother, Mary, enjoyed letting me come over and cook family meals. It was a small price to pay for being able to eat at her house almost every night.

Spending every evening at her house, eating meals with Hollis’s family, was exactly how I’d gotten to build such a close relationship with her. I’d say we’re still close to this day, but I wasn’t ready to discuss any of the current issues I’d been facing with Hollis. Not so much because she didn’t need to know, but honestly, I didn’t know how she’d take this information, or if it was worth even sharing. How do you tell your mother-in-law, a woman who’d been there for you when your mother wasn’t, that her son was breaking every conceivable vow he’d taken?

In my eyes, you just couldn’t. It felt impossible. If everything fell apart now, I’d surely be alone and alienated, not simply from Mrs. Houston, but from the only family I’d come to have over the past twenty years of my life.

***

Natalia and I would go for walks almost every evening when she came home. We’d walk around the upscale area surrounding her home, work up an appetite, and come home for a gourmet meal, then a shower.

We didn’t really talk then, just simply took in the scenery. It wasn’t unusual for her to take a phone call from her mother, who often checked in on her and the wedding plans. Ellis wasn’t due back until February, but Rose spared no moment in preparing for the big day. It was sweet to observe, seeing as I never got the opportunity to plan my wedding. Hollis and I kept it simple. After heading to the courthouse, we held a small ceremony at his family’s chapel, and then enjoyed a small reception.

With the exception of my mother and her fiancé of the month, nobody from my family showed up. Only three of my girlfriends came. Even though my mother was dead, and none of those friends were in my life anymore, I wanted to hold a ceremony where Hollis and I could renew our vows. It was my opportunity to have the wedding I never did. But I knew that wasn’t going to happen, so I indulged in watching Rose blissfully plan hers. I couldn’t wait until the big day. I knew it would be an affair to remember.

***

Rose did an excellent job hosting me. Every day I stayed at the house, I rediscovered parts of myself that I forgot existed: Natalia the Cook, the Lover, the Book Reader, the Traveler, and the aspiring Writer. All these multifaceted portions, they all came to the surface and reunited with me in Dallas.

I realized there were so many things I wanted to accomplish, but being stored up inside Twenty-nine Palms had taken that away from me. And speaking of Twenty-nine Palms, I missed Jordan and Kelli terribly, but it was time to say goodbye. I realized how stagnant I was there, and figured perhaps this was what I needed to gain space and my sense of self back – because, if I had lost this much of myself, of course my husband would fall out of love with me. There was nothing to love but a robot in a wifely routine.

Time apart, unfortunately, hadn’t done much for my marriage. Hollis remained hostile. He never reached out to me once during the time I’d left, but he was tagged in several pictures with Presley. Nothing stood out about these photos to the naked eye, but deep down, my gut twisted every time I’d see them together. There was this subtle glow between the two of them, pictured together holding beers, and horsing around, and that glow could only come from love. Kristophe continued to maintain his innocence in knowing about any extramarital affairs Hollis was having, but come on! How could you be around two men who were screwing each other and not realize something was going on?

I cried my fair share of nights after speaking on the phone with Jordan. Every time we spoke, he told me how much he really wanted me to come home. He missed being able to spend time with me. I promised him I’d be home in a week, and that we’d go out when I returned.

“For pizza and ice cream?” He bargained. Knowing Hollis, Jordan ate Spaghetti-Os every night and Cheerios every morning. He was nowhere near a cook and deferred those duties to me.

“Pizza and ice cream,” I promised, smiling to him on Facetime.

The night before I left for California, Rose clapped her hands with joy when I told her I decided it was time to move back to Texas.

“That’s awesome!” She squealed. “You can help me with the wedding!”

“Well, not so fast,” I said. “This won’t be immediate. I have to square things away back on base. I have to inform my job, and give them 30 days’ notice. Then I have to get all my things sold or placed in storage.”

“And you have to get with your lawyer, and file for divorce,” Rose chimed in. Her statement was more of an inquiry. She looked in my eyes, seeking an answer to her unspoken questions.

I drew in a deep breath, filling my belly with the question, and mindfully exhaling – the way she’d taught me to do in order to quell anxiety – so I could articulate my answer in the most truthful way possible.

“I don’t know about that yet.” The bruises, even though they’d healed, were fresh in my mind. And there were times I still touched the spot on the back of my head where Hollis slammed me against the wall. He was still indignant, uncooperative, and seemingly careless without me. But I was still his wife. I still loved him, and I still had high hopes of us reconciling and completing our family with the little girl I always wanted. I knew living together was no longer healthy for us, but I was not convinced it was time to pull the plug on our relationship.

Rose didn’t seem to like my answer, but she nodded nonetheless. She was a strong and aggressive, passionate woman, but she was also understanding and empathetic. That’s why it was so easy to talk to her about this.

“Well, when you come back, you know you’re welcome to stay here until you get on your feet. Especially if you continue to make lamb chops.” She rubbed her tummy and licked her chops, commenting on how flavorful they were. “Send me your resume. Are we connected on LinkedIn? I may have some connections for you, some people who could give you work when you return.”

“Nobody gets a job that easily,” I said. “I’ve only been a librarian for the past few years.”

“Connections and pull, girl. Connections and pull.”

Chapter 19: Rose

“Babe, I understand. But I can’t force him to talk about their issues if he doesn’t want to.”

“Yeah, but I’m telling you I saw the marks. She didn’t look good. That’s your sister-in-law. She’s your family too.”

“I know,” Ellis sighed. “I just haven’t been able to get through to him. He refuses to discuss their relationship. Frankly, I’m tired of talking about them. I want to talk to my wife. How are you doing?”

It was the middle of another stormy day in Dallas. October was moving at a rapid pace, and November was coming right around the corner, with all the holidays in tow. I realized this would be my first Thanksgiving and Christmas without Ellis, and my heart fastened to the anchor of sadness in my stomach.

I’m okay.” I sighed deeply. “I just miss you so much.”

“I know baby I miss you too. Hold on for just a couple more months. I’ll be right back in your arms, fucking you hard and deep - passionately the way you’d like.” He was clearly trying to change the subject, because he was sick and tired of talking about Hollis, Natalia, and they are violent sexless life.

Their drama I had such an effect on our life, especially because Natalia had been staying with me. We curved our sexual talking while she visited. I spent a lot of time dealing with her, comforting her, and making sure she was okay. I didn't want to be selfish and have Skype sex with her in the other room. I didn’t even know if she would be able to hear me if I did.

After another round of Skype sex, where Ellis and I pleasured each other visually and aurally, I asked him to keep a promise.

“What, babe?”

“Promise you’ll never shut me out if you ever decide you’ve fallen out of love. Don’t keep me hanging in the balance. Tell me, so we can fix it or I can move on.”

Ellis and I were balls deep in love now, but life had a crazy way of changing things. You could be head over heels in love today and so far removed from it tomorrow. Hollis and Natalia were perfect examples of that. The pain once evident in her spirit was a bone chilling realization, and proof this was something I never wanted to experience for myself.

Instead of laughing me off or rolling his eyes, both of which would probably make sense, Ellis looked at me thoughtfully through the camera. “Baby, I will never fall out of love with you. I promise. You have nothing to worry about because you’re the one for me. I’ll never leave you out in the cold. Believe that.”

I simply pressed two fingers to my lips, kissed them, and touched his through the screen.

Gosh, how I loved that man.

***

I checked in with Natalia regularly throughout her trip home. It was a long two-day drive back to Twenty-nine Palms, and she seemed up for it, but you just never know when you’re pushing yourself too hard. That, along with her newfound decision to announce her desire to leave California, I wanted to make sure everything went okay when she finally got back.

When she got settled I had some exciting news for her: several positions were opening up at my job. I would be able to put in a good work for her, so long as she updated her resume. It hadn’t been updated in years and needed a fresh new look, plus cover letter.

“One step at a time, Ro. I just got back and you want me to apply for a new job already?”

“Hun, yes. Because time waits for no one and I want your name in the running when they hold interviews. I can seal a spot for you, but I need you to take action
now
, mama.”