One for the Gods (The Peter & Charlie Trilogy) (50 page)

“Will you please believe me? I cracked up. Surely that was obvious enough. Wrecking the boat. Jesus. If I hadn’t come out here or somewhere and tried to come to grips with myself, I don’t know what would’ve become of me.”

Peter’s eyes filled with solicitude, although everything else about him remained tough and unyielding. “Are you all right now?”

“More or less. It helps to find out things.” He paused, looking at Peter with fresh eyes. He saw a hard strength in him that hadn’t been there before. He had hardened physically and his youthfulness seemed less a phenomenon than the natural emanation of thriving health. It occurred to Charlie that perhaps he hadn’t been a total failure after all. “I think I’ve found out things.”

“Such as?” Peter’s tone was demanding. The soft dependence was gone.

Charlie wondered if it would end with his pleading to retain a place in his life. This, too, gave him an uneasy thrill. “I know I’ve had to be alone. I may still have to be alone, even though it’s wonderful being with you now.”

“Well, I suppose you might as well be alone if you don’t want to touch me.”

“It isn’t just a question of wanting. I wanted to the minute I opened the door and saw you.”

“Why didn’t you say so?” Peter put his hand out and Charlie took it in both of his and leaned over and kissed it. Peter moved his fingers in a brief caress. “That feels better. What else do you know?”

“I know I’m human. I’ve given up trying to play God. Being human presents me with a new set of problems.” Charlie paused and then plunged in more abruptly than he had intended, not sure that he would be able to define the basic problem but determined to try. “I saw your Dimitri on the dock at Poros the other day. If I could’ve got off the boat, I’d have stayed with him. For a minute, I would’ve given up everything just to be with him for an hour. I gather that’s what you felt about Jeannot. How can we
not
give in to things like that and stay alive? The fact that maybe you weren’t wrong has led me to some pretty strange conclusions.”

“Just a minute, before we get to conclusions,” Peter said, his look hardening. “How about this? One of the best-looking guys I’ve ever seen picked me up at a bar last night. American. Sensational. Damn nice, too. Intelligent. Everything. I could have had him—in the time-honored fashion. He made that clear enough. You, Martha—all right, start with Jeannot—well, I didn’t know what I’ve been missing all these years. It’s still new enough so that it does things to me that are pretty hard to resist. If I’d been on my own, I might’ve fallen for the guy in a big way. Once would’ve been better than never. Is that the sort of thing you’re talking about? Are you trying to say I should have had him?”

“Yes.
No.
When it happens to me, I can understand it. When it’s you, I can’t take it. There, by God. Now we can get down to brass tacks.” He slammed his fists down on the table and leaned forward. “You tear me apart. My being so sure of myself and knowing what’s best for us is a goddamn act. I’m rotten with jealousy. I’ve found out that I’m literally capable of killing you. That’s why I say I have to leave you. The only hope I can see for us is to stop having sex with each other and find it somewhere else.”

“What
are
you raving about?” Peter demanded.

“Stand up.”

Peter looked at him as he leaned intensely across the table. There was a wild gleam in his eye. Peter shrugged and did as he was told. Charlie sprang up and swung his fist. It connected hard with Peter’s jaw. He went careening back across the room.

“That’s for Jeannot.” Charlie roared. “That’s what I want to do whenever I think of him. That little tap I gave you in St. Tropez was nothing. I want to beat the shit out of you when you even look at anybody else. Do you want to live with that?”

Peter shook his head and steadied himself. He flung off the light jacket he was wearing. “I’ll answer that question later. Right now, I’m going to do something I’ve been waiting to do for years.”

He went for Charlie with fists flying and crowded him back into a corner of the room. Charlie was hurting before he realized that Peter was in earnest. He fought back, smashing his fists into the hard body. He was careful not to land any punches near his eyes or mouth. Peter observed the same caution but they were hurting each other. Their breathing became labored. They grunted as their fists hammered each other.

Peter landed a strong blow to the side of Charlie’s jaw. His head snapped back and for a moment his sight failed. Peter followed up his advantage with a blow to his solar plexus and another hard one under the heart. This is a
man
, Charlie thought with wonder as his breath was cut off; I’m in love with a man. He flung himself forward and felt Peter catch his weight and support him as he waited for his body to recover.

“Had enough?” Peter asked cheerfully despite the heaving of his chest.

Charlie nodded. As he began to breathe more easily, he was shaken by helpless laughter. Revelation had descended on him once more: this was what he had always wanted—a man he could cling to, who could beat him into his senses when he lost his bearings. He didn’t know why it should take him so by surprise; all the history of their lives pointed to it. Peter had chosen his career and had guided him through it. Peter had kept him. Peter had always provided the solid foundations; he, only the dramatic flourishes. He had been misled by the sexual role he had played. The reversal he had initiated in Athens hadn’t been a passing whim but the expression of a long-felt, unrecognized need. And it had worked for Peter too. He could tell by the way Peter held him that it had worked. As his strength returned to him, his laughter redoubled.

“What’s so funny, you shit?” Peter demanded with a chuckle. “You hurt me. It was sort of fun but I don’t see that it gets us anywhere.”

Charlie pulled himself up and settled his weight on his own feet and looked at him. “It gets us through life, Slugger darling. God, what a man. Thank God, I didn’t hurt that mouth.”

“Is this the traditional clinch?”

“Why not?”

Their mouths met and they kissed at length, holding each other close in spite of their drained and aching bodies. Their mouths parted and Peter laughed.

“How D. H. Lawrence can we get?” he said. He moved his hips against Charlie’s. “Mmm. Everything seems to be working normally. What was all that about not having sex together?”

“More of my brilliant analysis of a nonexistent situation. I overlooked the fact that you’re the man in the family.”

Peter looked at him with a sly smile. “I guess maybe we both are. At least, I’m not as much one of the girls as I thought. I was really steaming at the idea of letting that guy have it last night. He was very butch, too. How’s that for a switch? It’s amazing the things you know about us, the things you know about me that I don’t even know myself.”

“Feminine intuition, my darling.”

“Look who’s calling me darling. What’s wrong with baby?”

“You’re nobody’s baby now.”

They laughed and Peter gave him a quick kiss and broke away from him. “Come on. Show me our house. I hope there’s a good strong bed that’ll hold both of us. I intend to put it to a rude test. What’s out here?”

“Be careful. Part of it doesn’t look very solid.” They went out onto the terrace overhanging the port.

“My God, how beautiful,” Peter said in an awestruck tone. “Just the way I imagined it.”

“This is where I wait for you to show up.”

“Of all the nutty ideas. I still don’t see why you were so sure I’d pick this place.”

“I wasn’t. I figured if you couldn’t find me, you didn’t deserve to have me.”

“Bastard.” He took Charlie’s hand. “Always keep ’em guessing. It makes life interesting. Things happen to us. I’ve been wanting to tell you how amazing it was, being with Martha and knowing you were there growing inside her. Don’t let’s kid ourselves. It’s you. I almost fell in love with her. There wasn’t any question of sex again after you left but—well, I’m glad there’s a little Charlie at last.”

Charlie squeezed Peter’s hand. “If I’m not mistaken, you’re thinking it would be nice for there to be a little Peter, too.”

“There you go again. Yes, the idea’s beginning to make sense to me. You’ve started something that’s pretty fascinating. I even understand what you meant about the sex part of it. As far as I’m concerned, sex will always be you, but there
was
something special about doing it with Martha—simple and natural, thinking about having a baby. How’s that for a queer? Honestly, all the fuss about male and female! It’s a wonder it hasn’t turned us both into screaming queens. Speaking of which, there’s more about Martha.”

Charlie remembered the voices and he stared at Peter in the dark. “For God’s sake. Don’t tell me you’ve brought her with you.”

“The old intuition is working overtime. Yes. I was in such a state that she offered to come in case I didn’t find you and went off my rocker. She was marvelous to me on the trip back. Always there when I needed her.”

“You mean, we’re going to have to have her up here?”

“Not tonight, idiot. I showed her the hotel and brought her partway up here so she’d know where we were. I told her if I didn’t come back, it would be because you were fucking me silly.”

“Or vice-versa?”

“Well, yes, now that you mention it. Maybe vice-versa.”

They looked at each other, just catching the glitter of eyes in the light from the lamp, and burst out laughing. Charlie knew that he was given to extremes of optimism and despair, but he felt that even his jealousy would be manageable now that he saw Peter in the light of his real need. In spite of his talk about the boy last night, or perhaps because of it, he didn’t think he would stray in that direction again. There might well be girls. He found it exciting to think of sharing him with girls. He tangled his fingers in the golden hair and held on. “You’re my Slugger.”

After another burst of laughter, Peter sobered. He put a hand on Charlie’s arm. “Martha was hit pretty hard by what you said to her on the boat. She’s going to make a clean break with Jack. I want to try it like you said. I love her. I want her near us as long as it fits in with her life. I want little Charlie. Maybe she’ll have one for me later. I’d marry her then unless you find out you can make Charlie officially yours. I hope you’re not going to make any trouble.”

“No, darling. I’m not afraid of a little air now. You’re the boss.”

“A likely story, but I intend to take advantage of it while it lasts. If any of this is going to work, we’ve got to help her get over being in love with you. We’ve done just about everything else with her, maybe we should let her see us making love. That might do it, especially if it’s vice-versa.”

“I had that idea first.”

“I know. I don’t want to stage a performance, but we could arrange it so she sees us. It can’t come as a shock to her. We’ve talked about everything, but it might make her realize we’re for real. I have this weird hankering for a witness, anyway. It’s probably because we didn’t get married in church.”

Charlie tugged his hair. “What a nut.”

“Talking about it is doing things to me. Oh, God, to be with you again at last. Where’s that bed?” Peter began to unbutton his shirt as they stood side-by-side, looking down at the still circle of harbor and up at the star-filled sky.

“I have an idea this is going to be fairly spectacular,” Charlie said with a chuckle. “I want to make you feel how much I love you.”

“Oh, darling. Me too. With all of me.” Peter pulled off his shirt and tossed it aside. “The hell with the bed. Let’s bring a mattress out here, damn it.” He laughed as he unbuttoned his trousers. “How’s this for doing it in public? I don’t guess the town can see us but I’d like to show that gang on Mount Olympus a thing or two. This one is for the gods.”

Turn the page to continue reading from the Peter and Charlie Trilogy

It was a bombshell: George Cosmo Leighton had been robbed of almost two thousand dollars! A theft on this tranquil Greek island where thievery was unheard of! The two thousand dollars George had been waiting for for weeks!

Exclamation points could be heard in all the voices commenting on the event.

A case might have been made that the money had simply been lost, but public opinion among the foreigners was formulated around tables set out on the
quai
in front of Lambraiki’s grocery store and the foreigners pronounced in favor of theft. A suspect was quickly found. There had been other small vexing losses—or thefts, as everybody was inclined to regard them now—and the facts could be neatly arranged to point to only one possible culprit. A Greek, naturally.