One Heart to Give (Heart's Intent Book 1) (3 page)

“I think you will be more comfortable there discussing his condition,” he replied softly. “I have a lot to go over with you.”

Ren had always been kind. This wasn’t about her. Matt’s condition had to be more important. It was time for her to suck it up and deal with her emotional overload. Ren wasn’t going to bite her head off. It wasn’t who he was.

“Fine, lead the way, Dr. Sousa.”

Dani had to put up barriers and ignore her rampant emotions. He couldn’t be Ren anymore. He was Matt’s doctor and nothing more. Her feelings on the matter were irrelevant.

Chapter Two

Rendell Sousa fought the need to pull Daniella into his arms and breathe in her scent. It was hard for him to believe she was real, in front of him, and looking as beautiful as he remembered. He’d lost her once, and he wasn’t about to do it a second time. She didn’t know it yet, but he was a permanent fixture in her life.

He led her to his office and held the door open for her. What they had to discuss wasn’t meant for anyone’s ears. She came in for Matthew Price, but they had a lot of other unfinished business. Her disappearance had hit him hard. Not once had he thought she’d leave him and never speak to him again. If he had—he’d have done something, anything, to stop her.

“Please have a seat.” He gestured toward the chair in front of his desk. He set the file on Matthew Price down and sat. Ren rested his elbows on his desk and stared across at her. He would never get enough of the sight of her. Her beautiful midnight tresses were pulled up in a knot behind her head, and her soft green eyes were filled with worry and something he couldn’t identify. She didn’t seem to want to look him in the eyes.
Are you feeling guilty for not saying goodbye?
“I think we should get right to the heart of the matter.”

Tell me why you left me…

She nodded. “I agree. Explain Matt’s condition to me.”

“Who is he to you?” He shouldn’t ask. Never would he have asked another patient’s friend or family member to clarify their relationship. Dani was different. He had to know. Ren cleared his throat. “What is your connection to Mr. Price?”

She tilted her head and studied him, not saying a word. Lana had mentioned Matthew Price’s emergency contact was his partner in a law firm. He could see how she might make a witness uncomfortable with that stare. He had the bug-under-a-microscope feeling crawling all over him.

“Does it matter?”

“I’m trying to figure out the best way to approach this.” He leaned back in his chair and tapped his fingers together. “To tell you how to proceed once he’s released.”

She ignored his first question. “Start at the beginning.”

What beginning? Their past or Matt’s injuries? He wished for a brief moment he could forget the reason that brought her back into his life. Ren was horrifyingly thankful for it. He might never have found her again without her friend’s accident. He looked for her when she left, but she’d done a good job of covering her tracks. After a while he had to face the fact she didn’t want him in her life, and reluctantly let go, moved on with his life the best he could.

“Several hours ago, Mr. Price was brought into the emergency room after being involved in a multi-vehicle accident. His injuries were extensive and we were able to stabilize him.”

If he stuck to the facts he might make it through their meeting. Mr. Price had to come first. After that—he wouldn’t hold back. Ren needed Daniella in his life.

“I saw that.” She pursed her lips together as she stared at him. “What are you not telling me?”

“His brain is swelling, but we’ve already taken measures to reduce it.” He paused and thought about his next words. “It’s his eyes we’re concerned about. There is a surgery that can help him, but it’s risky. If he doesn’t have it, he will be blind for the rest of his life—even if he does, he might still be.”

Dani stayed quiet. She always remained silent after hearing something she didn’t like. She weighed the options and processed the information. It was one of her quirks and one he’d always appreciated. Dani was one of the most rational females he had ever known. It could be disconcerting. She was almost too practical. Deep down she was a well of barely contained emotions. What was on the surface scarcely touched the core of who she really was.

She tilted her head and studied him, her hands folded neatly in her lap. Dani showed almost no emotion as she spoke, “What are the risks, other than permanent blindness? It appears that’s on the table regardless of what we decide.”

Her mouth was in a firm tight line. Ren knew what she was doing. She was fighting tears. She cared about this man. He found it bothered him more than perhaps it should. Dani hadn’t been a part of his life for some time. She would have moved on and found someone else to love. Lord knew she never claimed to love him. It was why he started dating Jessica—what a colossal mistake that turned out to be.

“He could end up paralyzed, and death is always a risk in any surgery.”

How much did she care about him? Did Ren even have a chance? Was he an ass to even consider pursuing her when he knew how much she was about to deal with? He’d played the part of a good guy and where had it left him? With a harpy for a wife who hadn’t blinked an eye about cheating on him, and a former best friend who exited his life without so much as a by-your-leave. No, she hadn’t needed his permission to do anything, but she could have at least told him what she’d planned. He’d missed her so much. When she’d disappeared, she took his heart with her. He was an empty shell without her. She was his light and his strength, and he’d never loved anyone the way he did her.

All she’d wanted from him was friendship. He swore it would be enough, but it never was. He ached for her. How had she not see it written all over his face? So she would never know the depth of his love, he’d started seeing Jessica and devoted all his pent up feelings on her. He got to be pretty good at faking something with her. Maybe Jessica had known somehow and that’s why she sought out another man. Ren didn’t really know. When he walked in on her with a fellow colleague it had been a relief. He no longer had to pretend to love her. It was a blessing to file for divorce and move on with his life. There had only been one thing missing—Daniella.

Even if Dani had never loved him the way he loved her, he wasn’t going to let her disappear on him again. Ren wanted to be there for her in all the ways she might need him, and it would be enough. He didn’t need a repeat of his ex-wife. Dani may never love him the way he loved her. He hoped she would allow him to be a part of her life again.

“You recommend this surgery?” She stared into his eyes. They were so full of faith in him. He almost didn’t feel worthy.

“I do,” he said firmly. It was the best chance Matthew Price had.

“Will you be performing it?”

He shook his head. “No, but I will assist.” He swallowed down the bile threatening to come out of his mouth. As much as he hated Preston West, he was a damn good doctor. It was wives he couldn’t be trusted with. “There is another surgeon with more skill and experience in this type of case who’ll do the bulk of the surgery.”

She bit her lip and a tear finally escaped from the corner of one of her eyes. Dani buried her face in her hands and they flowed free. Ren never could stand to see her cry. She did it so little; she must be in enormous pain to give into them. Dani believed tears showed weakness, and she learned early on the fragile people of the world got stomped on. The pain she suffered as a child had made her who she was. She’d been in several bad foster homes until she ended up in a fairly descent one. She’d explained once that one of her foster mothers would punish her if she showed any sign of tears. He’d seen Dani struggle not to cry more than he liked. It broke his heart she’d had to fight so much to survive. He wanted to protect her from all of the world’s hurts.

He stood up and pulled her into his arms. Dani leaned into him and let him comfort her. To have her in his arms again, he had no words to describe how good it felt. If he could, he’d have stood there forever basking in her warmth. He was more than aware they couldn’t. Reality had a bad way of shaking apart the good things in life.

Some strands of her hair had fallen loose and wrapped around her face. Ren lifted his hand and caressed her soft curls and whispered soothing words. Whatever would help her and calm her down. “I promise I will do everything in my power to help him. I can see how much he means to you.”

She took a step back out of his arms. He wanted to howl in protest. Ren barely held in the frenzy rushing through him. He kept his hands at his sides to prevent himself from pulling her back into his arms. If he didn’t take things slowly, she would bolt right back out of his life. Patience was the only way to make sure she didn’t act on her impulse.

“Matt does mean a lot to me. He helped me a lot, and if not for him I might not have made it through law school. He’s the best friend I have.”

He tried not to wince at her words. They were as painful as a knife in the chest. Did that mean he wasn’t a good friend to her? Is that why she left and didn’t look back?

“You’re a good friend too, Ren.” Her gaze locked with his. “Matt is my present, but you’re my past.”

“I don’t want to be your past,” he replied harshly. “If you hadn’t disappeared you would know that.”

Her head whipped back as if he’d slapped her. “Maybe this isn’t the best time to discuss this. I can come back later.”

Dani turned to leave his office. Before she could open the door he reached above her and held the door closed. “Your friend doesn’t have time for you to have a hissy fit.” His words came out sharper than he meant them to, but he couldn’t let her run away from the problem. He was being an ass, but couldn’t seem to stop the words from spilling out of his mouth. He was one big mess of bitterness. Most of it surrounded her and what could have been—if he hadn’t been too afraid to speak up and tell her how much he loved and needed her. Now it was too late, and he would have to live with those choices.

She spun around and looked up at him. “What do you want from me?”

He wanted her to tell him she loved him. It was all he’d ever wanted from her. No that wasn’t true… It was the first item he wanted in a long list of things he’d hoped they could have. A life together, a family, and so much love it would sustain them through whatever life threw at them.

He stared down at her and thought about saying the words aloud. Finally telling her she owned his heart. Instead, he decided to take the coward’s way, again. “You need to sign some forms consenting to the surgery.”

“I can do that? I’m his emergency contact. I thought a family member had to make those decisions.”

Ren shook his head. “He left you in control of his medical power of attorney, including what was to be done if he was ever on life support. He filed them with the hospital. It was how they knew to contact you.”

She let out a harsh breath. “He never told me…”

Ren turned his gaze away from hers. He didn’t want to have any insight into her relationship with Matthew Price. A part of him hated the man for taking his place in Dani’s life. He should have been by her side through every single one of her achievements. He hadn’t spoken to her or even seen her in ten years. She was supposed to be his, but he messed up. It was his mistake and his to rectify. If Matthew was her friend, it meant she had a place for him in her life. Ren could be her lover and the only man in her heart. The one she loved and came home to every night. It wasn’t too late for them. They could have it all. He had to be honest with her for once.

“I’m sure he had his reasons.”

“You’re right. If you give me the consent form, I’ll sign it.”

Ren walked back to his desk and picked up the file. He opened it up and removed the form and set it on the desk with a pen. Dani signed it with her usual flare and pushed it over to him.

“I’m going to go back to Matt’s room. If you need anything else, you can find me there.” She didn’t give him a chance to respond. Dani flew out of the office as if the hounds of hell chased her.

“You can run, Dani love, but you can’t hide. I found you again. It’s time we faced what is between us.” And Ren didn’t doubt for a minute she felt more than she realized or admitted to herself. Why else would she run? First, he would make sure Matthew Price was taken care of. His health had to take precedence. Afterward though—there would be no holds barred. He would win the woman he loved and no one would stop him, not even Dani herself.

Chapter Three

Dani filled out the stack of paperwork required for Matt to be moved to a private room when he came out of surgery. It would be pricey and their practice would cover whatever the insurance plan didn’t. They just wouldn’t be doing any of the expansion they had planned over the next year. They had hoped to hire a couple of associates to take some of their more tedious cases. That meant moving to a bigger location and paying for a more expensive lease.

“Ms. Brosen.”

Dani had taken up residence in a waiting room. She didn’t think anyone would know where to find her. So she was surprised to see her assistant, Claire, walking toward her.

“Is something wrong at the office?”

Claire handed her a file. “It has to do with the Nettles’ development project. The building permits you filed for them weren’t approved. Mr. Nettles is livid and is insisting on speaking to Mr. Price. I tried to tell him it wasn’t possible, but he wouldn’t listen to me.”

The Nettles family was difficult to manage. She didn’t blame Claire. “I will call him and handle it.”

Dani chewed on her lip and shook her head. If she were honest with herself she’d admit she didn’t want to deal with anything pertaining to work. All she really wanted to do was pack a bag and disappear from life. Deep down she accepted that it wasn’t possible. She was an adult with real world problems. Running away wouldn’t solve any of them. So instead of giving into the urge to take an impromptu and permanent vacation she took a reaffirming breath and continued to fill in the paperwork for the hospital.

“How is he?” Claire asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Dani filled in the last box on the paper and signed her name at the bottom of the page, then looked up at Claire. It was then she saw the worry etched on her face. Claire twisted her fingers in front of her. Her blonde hair was a tangled mess.

“Sit down.” Dani gestured to a seat near her. “I’m sorry I didn’t think to update you.”

“I know you’re busy.” Claire plopped down near her.

It was then, staring at her assistant, that everything became crystal clear. Claire was in love with Matt. She’d bet everything she owned he wasn’t aware of the woman’s feelings. She hadn’t seen it herself, and Matt was even more oblivious than she was. How selfish she’d been to not think of Claire and her feelings. Even if she wasn’t in love with Matt, she cared about both of them. She remembered their birthdays, bought them gifts on every holiday, and made sure their day was generally better.

“I should have called you sooner,” Dani said. “I apologize for not thinking of it.”

“I don’t want you to feel bad. Please tell me what is going on with him. How serious is it?” Claire leaned back and waited for Dani to start speaking.

“He sustained injuries when he lost control of his car and went into oncoming traffic. A large truck smashed into the side of his vehicle. He’s lucky he wasn’t killed on impact.” None of their lives would have been the same if he’d died. Dani didn’t want to think about it. She pushed the dark thoughts from her mind and continued, “His arm is broken in three different spots. They splinted it and he will get a better cast after surgery. His head’s hurt the worst with the swelling and a threat of a brain bleed. His eyes were damaged, and he could lose his eyesight. He’s in surgery now.”

Her lips wobbled. “What does that mean?”

Dani had to be strong. At least she was used to it. The only time she let her guard down was around Matt…and Ren. She’d lost it a little with Ren. Something she could be excused for doing. Her friend was close to death and seeing Ren tore at the edges of her carefully built walls. After Matt was taken care of she would have to figure out how to put some distance between her and Ren. It would be easier to do once Matt was released from the hospital. Her heart would hurt too much to see him every day
.
She would do her best to keep their interactions to business only. If he required her to sign something to aid in Matt’s recovery she would. But she wouldn’t break down again and let him comfort her. It would make things too hard on both of them to try and be in each other’s lives again.

As far as she knew, he was still happily married to Jessica. She’d kept tabs on him long enough to see their wedding announcement in the Hope Beach daily paper. She wondered for a brief moment why it had taken so long for them to get married, but had brushed it away. There had been no announcement of the birth of a child. Maybe they hadn’t decided to tell the world about their bundle of joy. It wasn’t her place to judge what they decided to share. The wedding announcement had been enough for her to finally let go. After that, she couldn’t look in on him. She’d refused to have her heart break all over again with each update of his happy life.

It was selfish. She was more than aware of that, and as much as she wished him happiness, she couldn’t live it and remain sane. So she took the final step and cut the cord. Never had she pictured meeting him again and in a new town. She expected him to build his happily ever after in a big city or, at the very least, their hometown. Not a small town on the other side of the state. For now, she would deal with Claire and her concerns for Matt. It gave her something other than her problems to concentrate on. Thank God for small favors…

“It means if it goes well he’ll be the Matt we know and love—” She paused and stared into Claire’s eyes. “—but if it doesn’t, he’ll never be the same again. He’ll have to learn how to get by without the use of his eyes. Everything he knows will be turned upside down. It’ll leave him cranky and pissed off. Hell, we should expect that regardless.” She smiled reassuringly. “It’ll be up to us to make sure he has someone to lean on and keep him on the path to recovery. Do you think you can do that?”

She nodded.

“Good. Now can you do me a favor?”

Dani handled problems better when she had something to focus her energy on. Somehow, she believed Claire would too. She dealt with her and Matt on a daily basis. She probably thrived on a similar energy.

“Anything”

She lifted the stack of papers she’d filled out. “Take these to the administration office. Let them know to contact me with any questions they have.”

“I can do that.” She took the papers and stood up. “Don’t forget to call Mr. Nettles.”

“Who is Mr. Nettles?” Ren asked as he walked in.

Dani stood and crossed the distance of the waiting room to stand in front of him. She searched his face for answers, but it remained passive. Damn it, she couldn’t tell anything from his blank expression. “How’d it go?”

“Relax.” He lifted his hand and rubbed her shoulder in an attempt to soothe her. “It went well and we’re hopeful. We won’t know if it was successful yet. He needs time to heal before we can remove the bandages.”

He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back with small soothing movements. Dani leaned into him and took the comfort he offered before she realized what she was doing. She jerked back once her brain caught up with her body’s instincts.

“Can I see him?”

“In a little while,” he replied. His eyes squinted down at her with displeasure. “He’s in recovery. I’ll have a nurse let you know when he’s been moved to his room.”

He spun on his heels and stormed out of the waiting room.

What had she done? Whatever it was, she wanted to take it back. The way Ren was looking at her—it did funny things to her heart. The look of disappointment devastated her. She should be happy. Earlier she had been thinking about ways of distancing herself. Why did she have to have all these confusing and mixed feelings?

“Do you know Dr. Hottie?” Claire asked with a raised eyebrow.

Dani sighed. “We used to be friends.”

At one time she’d hoped they could be more than friends. Until she got scared. She watched relationships start and end badly while they were in high school. It ruined a lot of friendships. Dani had thought she was doing the right thing. A friend was forever. A boyfriend, lover, or husband wasn’t guaranteed. She could keep Ren in her life if she kept her feelings in check. Dani wasn’t sure if they could have ever been more than friends. It was her belief that a friendship would last and the other options would only lead to her losing him. She never once thought what it might do to her to watch him with another woman. Then Jessica had dumped her pregnancy on him and all of her insecurities no longer mattered. There was no decision to make, it’s been made for her.

If she could go back she might change things, before it’d been too late to do anything about it. And at least try and see if they had what it took to make it as a couple. She’d do it if it might make a difference. Sadly she didn’t think it would. What ifs didn’t change the outcome. All that mattered was what happened, there was no changing the past. The truth was that her plan to keep him in her life had backfired and she lost him anyway. He married Jessica and started a family with her. She didn’t have his friendship. It had been her choice. All of it had. She didn’t regret leaving without saying goodbye. Ren wouldn’t have allowed her to put distance between them any other way.

Their time had passed, and she couldn’t get it back. No amount of wishing would make it so. But the things she still remembered—watching him play baseball, the laughs around the bonfire, playing card at his parent’s house—those memories would always haunt her. Reflecting on how things could have been wouldn’t do her any good. She’d made her choices.

“It seems like you were more than friends.”

Dani’s gaze flew toward Claire’s. “You’re wrong. We were never more than the best of friends. I haven’t seen Ren since high school. We went our separate ways. He married his high school sweetheart and I met Matt.”

“But you and Matt really
are
just friends.” Claire placed her hand on Dani’s shoulder. “I recognize how a woman looks at a man she loves. I look at Matt the same way every day and he doesn’t see it. That’s how you look at the doctor.”

“Am I that obvious?” She’d thought she hid her feelings better.

Claire frowned. “Only to a woman who’s in a similar situation. If it helps, I didn’t see a wedding band on his finger. Are you sure he’s married?”

“No, and I’m not going to ask him.”

It’d be tantamount to asking him if he wanted to be with her. Dani wasn’t ready to open herself up to that kind of pain. Her heart was beginning to wake up, and her walls wanted to tumble down. One little push from him and they would crash around her. Until then, she would hold on tight to the edges and hope she survived this encounter.

“If you want my advice…”

“I don’t,” Dani interrupted her.

She laughed lightly. “You’re going to get it anyway.”

Dani rolled her eyes. Her assistant was getting cheeky. She didn’t say a word that would be encouraging, and it was the last thing she wanted to do.

“Matt’s in there fighting for his life. He could’ve died today.” Claire’s voice cracked as she spoke. “I’d have lost the chance to tell him how I feel about him. I’ve been foolish, and I’m not going to keep making the same mistakes.”

Claire
should
tell Matt she loved him. “You’re right. He needs to know.”

“Ren does too. The way he looked at you…” She paused and took a deep breath. “If Matt had just once stared at me with such intensity I never would’ve held in how I feel. That sexy doctor wants you. He may even need you. I don’t know what happened between you two, but you need to fix it.”

She was wrong, Ren didn’t want her, and never had. He might need her though. They were the best of friends once; maybe she should set her feelings aside and go to him. Whatever was going on in his life she could at the very least be his friend again. It wasn’t his fault she stupidly fell in love with him.

“I don’t think Ren wants me in the way you think.” Dani shrugged. “But I will think about what you said. I won’t make any rash decisions. In the meantime, go drop off that paperwork. I’ll call Mr. Nettles in the morning.”

Claire nodded. “Don’t avoid him. This is a mistake you can rectify if you let go of your fears. Trust me. I have them in spades myself.” She turned and left the room, leaving Dani with much to think about.

Who knew her assistant was so insightful? It was time to let go of all of her insecurities. She thought she had a long time ago. How wrong she’d been. One look from Ren and they came flooding back. Dani couldn’t admit how much she’d loved him or that he’d owned her heart, but she could once again be a friend he could lean on. She missed him so much over the years. It’d be good for her too to accept him as part of her life again.