One Hour to Midnight (37 page)

"What message would it give Jordan if every other member of your family was buried in the family plot and yet his biological father was not there? That you were only a part of the family if you didn't break society's rules?"
   

Leon looked shaken. He raked a hand through his hair leaving it dishevelled. "I have never once thought of it that way."

"For all that he's your son, Leon, Jordan needs to know and understand his biological roots. He'll need to know and understand his father's strengths and his weaknesses. All we can do is love and support him as he does do."

"And you know this, how?"

"The morning before I left Auckland to come here, Kathleen came to see me." Veronica glanced up at Leon. "Until then I never knew she was engaged to my father, or that my mother was her best friend. My mother eloped with Kathleen's fiancé the morning of her wedding."

Leon held her away from him staring at her in disbelief. "Are you saying she ran off with Kathleen's man and then later dumped you in the woman's care?"
 

"I know. I scarcely believed it when Kathleen told me." Veronica pulled a wry face. "But that was later. They'd dumped me on my grandparent's way before then, when I was only two."

"That's criminal. Why did they have a child if they were going to neglect you?"

"Kathleen told me she asked my mother that." She leaned back against Leon as she related the rest of that conversation. "The unanswered questions are still driving me crazy."

As she looked at her husband, Veronica knew they should have had this conversation weeks ago.
 

But weeks ago I didn't even know we needed to have it.

"This is why I stayed away Leon," Veronica admitted quietly. "I needed to think through so much. I needed closure."

 
Leon nodded. She gave a soft relieved sigh at this acknowledgement that he understood.
 

"But why stay away? A whole freaking month, Veronica. I've been worried sick."

How could she explain the need to be alone, the need for time to make peace with herself? She nestled against him loving the crush of strong arms. "I'm not sure where to begin."

"Well you'd better try," he growled hugging her close, as if he was afraid she would vanish. "But first..."
 

He lifted her chin bent his head and kissed her. Hard, deep, punishing and demanding her response. Then the kiss gentled to one of blatant sensuality. Veronica gloried in it, allowing him to sweep her away on a tide of possessive hunger.
 

Satisfied at last, he lifted his head and looked at her love-stung lips. "A dead man can't do that, Veronica."

She rested against him. "You're not competing with anyone Leon. I was over Yannis years ago."

"Then why was his photo in pride of place in your house?"
 

"It was a reminder of my stupidity."

"Veronica love," he murmured, pulling her onto his lap. "Tell me what's going on with you."

"I needed time alone to think. Everything was a hideous jumble in my mind, my parents, Yannis, Jordan, his illness, Julia, our marriage, you even. It was all one huge nightmare." Veronica took a deep breath, looked at Leon, her expression sober. "In the mountains, on my own, I finally began to work through it all. I'd never read or seen the coroner's report."

"And for that I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to with-hold that report from you."

"Why did you?" Veronica stared at their joined hands.
 

"When you were pregnant, Yannis and his activities were still very much under investigation. The inquest wasn't held until two years later."

"Why wasn't I subpoenaed, like those other women?"

"Our lawyers managed to keep your name under the radar on the grounds of the effect it would have on Jordan."
   

She leaned back against Leon, savouring his nearness. "And I'm so grateful for you doing so. I'd never grieved for Yannis, yet he was once a pivotal part of my life."

"Flynn warned me when you came back to give you that coroner's report. Hell I should have ensured you received a copy at the time. As you pointed out it was your right to know."

"Would it have made any difference?" She sat up, looked at him, fiddling with a button on his shirt. "I'm not sure. It may have made me pull my head out of the sand, who can tell now. All I know is your reappearance shook me out of a rut."
 

He frowned. "I ensured you had counselling, Veronica."

"Counselling only works if the person is ready for it. I took what I wanted from it and created a scenario that worked for me."

"In what way?"

She looked at him, and knew it was time for total honesty. "Do you know anything about how a young girl's mind works?"
 

When he shook his head, she just smiled sadly.
 

"Julia had every right to be worried about me," she admitted with painful honesty. "I used to sit in that summerhouse and dream about you and me making a home for my baby. I imagined you as my white knight come to rescue me from the consequences of my own stupidity. Right up until the moment I handed Jordan to you and Julia, I didn't believe those dreams wouldn't magically come true."

"Veronica." Leon huffed out a sharp breath obviously at a loss.

"I know, pathetic isn't it?"
 
She glanced at him and then looked away, embarrassed. "Over the years Julia and Yannis, both, grew into ogres in my mind. And all the while..." she broke off unable to continue.

"All the while—what, Veronica?"
 

She took a deep breath praying for courage to make the most damning admission of all. "I nurtured a hopeless love for you. And I hated you for not choosing me and Jordan over Julia. In my mind you were the biggest ogre of all."
 

Leon remained silent for so long Veronica became afraid. Was this the moment their shaky marriage would collapse? Filled with tension, she glanced at him.
 

"What about Yannis?" he asked at last.

"He was my protest over my upbringing." She gave a bitter little laugh. "Have you any idea what it's like to grow up in a school, to have no one, no place, to call your own?"
 

Leon's arms tightened around her and Veronica leaned into him, savouring the wonderful sense of belonging. Never would she take it for granted. This was Leon's gift to her and more precious than gold.

"What were your parents thinking?"

"I don't know. And I guess I'll never know," she said on a soft sigh. "Thankfully, they made Kathleen my legal guardian, and that saved me from foster care. She was stern, but fair."

"How do you feel about Yannis now?"

"I thought I loved him, but it was more that he gave me a small corner where I could create a home. When I learned he was married, the foundations of my life crumbled. There was no substance to grasp."

"What he did was iniquitous," his voice rumbled with fury.

"Yes it was and this was why I latched onto you. You had this wonderful old place," Veronica's voice hitched on a sob. "You were solid and stable, and so kind to me, my fantasy in the flesh."

"Don't tear yourself apart over it, Vic," he whispered, rubbing a hand over her back. "I knew and understood."

"I truly never meant to hurt Julia," she sat up, scrubbing her hands over her cheeks to wipe away tears.

"She realised that," Leon said soberly, lifting her chin with a gentle hand. "She worried about you, especially when she knew she was dying."

As she looked into his face, Veronica knew it was the truth.
 

Under all the angst and unhappiness, she did know his wife cared.

I trusted Julia with my baby because I knew she would love him as if he was the child borne of her own flesh.

And that suddenly, Veronica knew, without question that Julia had not conspired with Yannis. Had her spirit conjured up that wiliwili? Was that her way of protesting her innocence?
 

"Julia never conspired with Yannis, Leon," Veronica said with gripping his hands, willing him to believe her. "Yes, she pressured me to give up Jordan, and yes she misconstrued a lot of things you asked her to relay to me, but she would not deal with your brother. She had her faults, as we all do, but she despised Yannis. My pregnancy was his brainchild, not Julia's."

Leon lifted a hand and wiped it over his eyes, the breath leaked from his lungs in a drawn out sigh. "And you know this, how?"

"I took flowers for Julia today," she said simply. "An apology and a peace offering. I misjudged her and she let me know it."

With a gurgle of laughter, she told him about her question and the sudden appearance of that wiliwili.
 

He shuddered. "That is too damn spooky for me."

"Me too."

Leon's grave look was warning enough that he wasn't ready to let this painful subject drop.
 
"If I live to be a hundred, I will never forget the look in your eyes when you gave us Jordan. I pray to God I never have to face such a dilemma again."

Veronica was stunned into silence. Leon looked down at her, his eyes glistening with tears.

"Yannis and I both robbed you, Veronica. He stole your girlhood, Julia and I stole your heart when we took your baby."

His expression made her very afraid. "It wasn't your fault, Leon, none of it. Do you know what I finally realised alone up there in the hills?"
 

He gazed into her eyes, his expression unreadable. "You tell me."

"We were all in a very bad place. Yannis was your brother, a brother you loved despite his faults. Julia was desperate for a baby she couldn't conceive. I was young, stupid and incredibly cocky. Kathleen warned me but like most teenagers, I thought I was bullet proof." Veronica took a sharp breath amazed all over again at her stupid naivety. "The only innocent in the whole darn mess was Jordan."
 

Leon nodded very sober.

"What I realised, up in your hills, was that while I was young and stupid, my one absolutely right choice was letting you and Julia raise Jordan."

Leon gripped her shoulders. "Do you really mean that?"
 

"I mean it. Geeze Louise, I was seventeen, Leon, little more than a child, myself.
 
Julia was so right, what did I know about raising a baby?"
 
She gave a broken laugh that sounded off even to herself. "I would have managed somehow, but Jordan would have suffered. You and Julia gave me the chance to grow up and finish my education. And that was something I needed to do."

Veronica sat up and held her hands to her hot cheeks. Once the words started, she couldn't seem to stop them spewing out.
 
"When I returned, when Jordan was so sick, I was terrified when you expected me to be his mother. You saved the poor kid from being traumatised for life."

"Veronica, you're too tough on yourself. You've done wonders with Jordan. That boy loves you to bits."

"Does he?"

"How can you doubt it," Leon gave her a little shake. "Why else would he refuse to sleep anywhere else other than in your bed the whole time you were away?"

"He slept in my bed?" she asked, watching him eyes wide.

"He did. I can understand that, he missed you, but not as much as I missed you in my bed," he growled in a husky voice. "Mind it could be about this project you're both so secretive about. I tried to prepare him for the possibility you may not return, but he was adamant. He never doubted that you'd come back because you loved us both. Do you? Love me that is?"

"Do you love me?"

"I asked first," he countered softly.
 

She looked up into his eyes, blazing with the intensity of his desire.
He's so…intense. So passionate. And if I'm honest, it scares me that he reads me so well.

"Once I had such a crush on you," she said in a breathy rush.

"A crush," he growled giving her an offended look. "A crush?"

Veronica couldn't help it. His affronted tone made her laugh.
 

"A teenage crush," she reiterated, her smile mischievous as she lifted a hand and cradled his cheek. "But now I love you, you with a grown woman's love and passion."
 

He placed his hands on either side of her, effectively bracketing her against the window seat.
 
She shivered with a wild anticipation that sent warm, liquid need deep into her belly. The dim light surrounded them, cocooned them in secrets.

Grey eyes soft, glittering with intense emotion, he framed her face with his big, gentle hands. "We made a crazy bargain, you and I. We've made mistakes, but never doubt it Veronica, we belong together."
 

He smiled. That wonderful smile that made her toes curl.
 

"I never set out to risk my heart, I was done with love. But you came into my home, stole past all my defences and imbedded yourself deep in my heart."