One Hundred Proposals (16 page)

‘Perfect,’ he whispered, swimming closer.

He moved his hands to my waist and I wrapped my arms round his neck. The way he was looking at me now it was very obvious what his intentions were for tonight. But to be desired by someone so beautiful, so sweet, was incredibly flattering. Harry didn’t want me but Elias did.

He kissed me, his tongue in my mouth straight away, which was a bit of a shock. But once I got used to the rhythm and the urgency of his kiss, I found I was quite enjoying it. His hands roamed my body, grabbing my breasts as he moved me back through the water until I was pressed against the side of the boat.

‘We have a connection Suzie, you felt it too, didn’t you?’

He reached over my head onto the deck and rummaged in his shorts pocket, pulling out a condom. Oh. The shortest amount of foreplay ever. The little voice in the back of my head asked why he was walking around with a condom in his pocket, when he wasn’t someone who slept around, but as he kissed me again, I suddenly didn’t care. If Harry could sleep around, then I could too. The pain of rejection was lessened slightly when someone else wanted me so much. As he leaned against me, I could certainly feel how much he wanted me.

He pulled my legs around his hips and I closed my eyes and leaned back against the boat. Was it wrong that all I could think of was Harry?

*

Elias walked me back to my cabin, with his arm round my shoulders, keeping me warm against the chill of the night.

I leaned into him, kissing him on the cheek. ‘Thank you.’

‘For what?’

‘Tonight, for being lovely.’

He smiled at me. ‘You are lovely. It was a pleasure meeting you.’

I let myself into the bedroom and was surprised to see Harry sitting on the bed waiting for me. I couldn’t read his face at all.

‘Did you have fun?’ His voice was cool and clipped.

I shut the door behind me. ‘What do you mean?’

‘With Elias. I came looking for you, I was worried. I see I didn’t need to be. I saw you with him.’

Anger erupted through me again.

‘And? You’ve probably been with Barbie all night, so don’t you dare preach to me.’

‘I’ve been here, waiting for you ever since you flounced off, and I think I have every right to preach to you as the whole point of your little outburst was you didn’t want me to leave you alone on holiday, you didn’t want me to be sleeping around with women that meant nothing to me – and then you go off with some man you’ve just met?’

‘How did that make you feel?’

‘Angry over your double standards.’

I rubbed my face, feeling suddenly very tired. ‘Why are you being so arsey about this? You kept telling me that I should get back on the horse.’

‘Not with the first bloke that flashes you a smile.’

‘Why not, it works for you, but they normally flash you their tits as well.’

He stood and started pacing the room, breathing heavily through his nose. He whirled to face me. ‘Fine then, we can both screw as many different men and women as we want on this holiday, we can do our own thing and meet up once a day for these stupid proposals.’

‘Great, that sounds perfect.’

‘Good.’

‘Good.’

We stared at each other. It was ridiculous and we both knew it.

‘Well we’d better get some sleep, we have to be up in five hours,’ Harry snapped.

‘Fine.’

‘Fine.’

I got changed into my pyjamas and when I turned back Harry was already in bed, facing away from me. I slid in beside him and clicked off the light. Of course I didn’t sleep a wink and neither, I don’t think, did he.

*

The plane touched down in Cancun, Mexico and my stomach rolled. It hadn’t been a smooth ride, we had hit every patch of turbulence possible. The windows had rattled, wind whistled through the toilet door, which I had been sitting next to. It was as if the plane had been made from paper. The toilet door banged open now, sending a waft of chemicals and toilet smells all over me. My stomach heaved again.

Harry and I had not spoken at all since we’d gotten up this morning. We moved around our cabin preparing for our departure as if we were strangers.

We’d endured in silence a boat ride back to Baltra Island, a taxi, a plane ride to Ecuador and then another plane here to Cancun. It only really occurred to me now, if we were to see the world in ninety days, most of our time would be spent travelling. We were halfway through our third day of our holidays and we’d only just touched down in our second destination.

I was exhausted. Lack of sleep, so much travelling and then the horrific journey – I felt rough.

The taxi trip to the hotel was awful, an hour’s journey as the taxi driver swerved round corners, screeched to a halt at traffic lights, spoke on the phone and shouted and swore a lot to anyone or everyone who was listening.

Harry sat in stony silence next to me, staring out the window.

We arrived at the hotel and I noticed the reception area was huge and white. White marble floors gleamed as they stretched down to white sandy beaches and turquoise waters. White curtains billowed in the windows, even the reception desk was white. It was so bright, it hurt my head.

Harry checked us in but I heard him ask if there was any chance of having separate rooms. They were fully booked due to a wedding and I found myself sighing with relief. We needed to sort this out, not add fuel to the fire.

The lift took us up twenty floors so quickly my ears popped and I felt my stomach roll again. What was wrong with me today? I felt so tired, so weak.

The white theme continued in our hotel room and it had the largest double bed I had ever seen in my entire life. I pushed open the balcony doors, letting the warm breeze wash over me. It did nothing for my lethargy and nausea. There was one word to describe what I could see. Paradise. Miles of white beaches stretched out as far as the eye could see. Turquoise waters danced with sunlight as if jewels were buried beneath the waves. Stalks of palm trees peppered the sands beneath me like oversized green daisies.

‘I need to go out.’

He speaks. I turned around to face him, but he wasn’t looking at me.

‘You need to be at the far end of the beach near the jetty at two o’clock. It’s just coming up for one-fifteen now. It should take you about ten, fifteen minutes from here.’

I sat down on the bed – my stomach was churning and I thought I was going to pass out at any second. I just needed to sleep off the horrible journey, that was all. Then I’d be fine.

‘Can we do this later?’ I said.

‘No. It’s booked for two.’

‘Can you do this one without me, I really don’t feel well.’

‘Can I do it without you? Can I propose to you without you?’

I saw his fists clench at his side. I knew he would never hurt me but he was clearly still upset and I had just poked at the angry bear with a sharp stick.

‘If you can’t even be bothered to turn up for the proposals then we might as well go home now. The airplane proposal that you slept through I can let slide…’

‘That was the sleeping tablets, that wasn’t really my fault and it was a lovely proposal, I saw it. I’ve said I’m sorry about missing it, I’m not going to keep apologising.’

‘If you don’t turn up this afternoon then I’m catching the next flight back home. You can do whatever the hell you want but with no funding from Silver Linings or Sunlounger once the blog is pulled, I expect you’ll have to come home too.’

He was right, I was being incredibly ungrateful. I sighed. ‘I’ll be there.’

Harry walked out the room and slammed the door behind him.

I lay down on the bed, but keeping my eyes open so I didn’t accidentally fall asleep. Though there was no chance of that, my stomach was rolling and cramping. I took a few deep breaths to quell the sickness but it did nothing.

Suddenly I ran to the bathroom and threw up everything I had ever eaten in my entire life – it was as if my stomach was being squeezed like a tube of toothpaste. I was pretty sure that I had just thrown up a liver or even a kidney.

After my stomach was seemingly empty, I lay down on the bathroom floor, pressing my head into the cool tiles. I had to get up, I wasn’t going to let Harry down. My stomach rolled again. I’d get up in a minute.

*

I heard the bedroom door slam – Harry had no doubt returned because he had forgotten something, or to shout at me again. If there was going to be more shouting I wanted to at least be standing for it. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t even open my eyes. Harry was talking to me, shouting at me, but I couldn’t understand anything he was saying, almost like I was underwater. I felt his arm round my shoulders as he lifted me and the next thing I knew I was lying on the bed.

A wet towel was wiped gently across my face. ‘Come on baby, open your eyes and look at me,’ Harry urged.

I did as I was told, staring up into his face and he smiled with relief.

I saw the clock over his shoulder and my heart jolted with sudden fear. ‘What time is it?’

‘It’s half two.’

‘No! No, no, no, no.’ I struggled to sit up but he pushed me back down. ‘I’m so sorry, I was sick. Oh God, no I didn’t mean to miss it, I’m sorry.’

I shivered and Harry pulled a blanket over me.

‘Are you mad?’

‘Oh I was spitting feathers. I was going to come back here and declare world war three. Strangely, seeing my best friend unconscious in a pool of her own vomit kind of made any anger go away. It puts it all into perspective a little bit.’

‘I’m so sorry.’

‘Don’t be. I didn’t realise you were sick, I just thought you were tired and being grumpy with me again.’

‘I’m sorry for being grumpy with you too.’

He smiled. ‘I’m sorry too. I was an arse and it was completely uncalled for.’

‘No it was definitely called for. You’ve been amazing, all of this,’ I gestured feebly, ‘it’s wonderful. If you want to sleep with a different woman every night you go ahead.’

‘Ok enough of the apologies, how are you feeling?’

I reflected on how I felt. ‘My stomach hurts. I don’t feel sick. Not at the moment.’

‘Good. I’ve called a doctor. It’s probably just a sickness bug, but better get you checked out just to be on the safe side.’

‘How long have you been back?’

‘Five minutes maybe. I couldn’t wake you at all. I was panicking.’ He was still in panic mode now, I could tell that. ‘I was going to get you in the shower to see if I could rouse you and clean you up a bit, but then thought I better ring a doctor instead. He suggested that I just try to bring you round first. Would you like a shower now, it might make you feel better?’

I did feel sticky and I smelt bad, the thought of the doctor examining me when I smelt like this was not a pleasant one. I nodded.

‘I’ll help you.’

‘What?’

I was very awake all of a sudden.

‘Suzie, you’re as white as… Ryan Gosling’s shirt.’

I smiled at this. As if he remembered the inane ramblings I had uttered the week before.

I sat up carefully and swung my legs off the bed. Harry was right – I was wobbly – but I managed to make it into the bathroom without any help.

He switched the shower on and we stood staring at each other. We were about to crash straight across the boundaries of friendship by showering with each other and we both knew that.

‘So, I’ll erm…’ I gestured that I should get in.

‘Well you should probably take your clothes off first.’

I plucked at my T-shirt and then slid it up over my head. I didn’t dare look at him as he pulled his own T-shirt off.

Ok this was no different than beach wear – me in my underwear, him in his shorts. I certainly wasn’t going to take anything else off.

I stepped in the shower and he got in behind me. I would just have to ignore him, ignore his heat, ignore the sudden desire to kiss him. God, he was standing so close.

Desperately trying to ignore his proximity, I stepped directly under the water, soaking my hair. The shower was having the desired effect. It was cooling me down, clearing my brain of the fog. But suddenly his hands were in my hair, his fingers running through from root to tip. He leaned round me to get the shampoo and I heard him squeeze it out into his hand and then he was massaging it into my head, softly flexing his fingers into my scalp.

I closed my eyes, every nerve ending alert, zinging with his touch. He was thorough, ensuring the shampoo was rubbed into every strand of hair. He gently tilted my head back, so he could wash the shampoo out, his hands running through my hair again.

Once the shampoo was out of my hair, he swept my hair off my neck and over my shoulder. He reached round me again, and opening one eye I saw him take some shower gel.

My breath quickened at the thought of him being as thorough with my body as he had been with my hair.

He started rubbing my neck, moving his hot hands to my shoulders and then to my back. But it became very evident that he wasn’t washing me, he was massaging me. He ran his hands down my spine, and then back up to my shoulder blades, his fingers pressing firmly into my skin, applying the exact amount of pressure in some areas and being gentle on other parts.

I realised, when my lungs started to scream in protest, that I had been holding my breath, and as I let out the air, a noise escaped from my throat that was guttural, filled with desire. I prayed he hadn’t noticed.

‘Turn around,’ he mumbled into my ear, his hot breath sending delicious shivers through my body.

I did as I was told, wobbling a bit as I did. I watched his eyes. He was trying really hard not to look at me, finding the floor strangely fascinating. He squirted more soap into his hands and he ran them down my arms. As he reached my hands he linked fingers with me, pulled my arms up and rested them on his shoulders.

‘Lean on me if you need to.’

Taking advantage of my friend’s good nature, I slid my hands round his neck and his eyes immediately flicked up to meet mine, searing into mine.

He let out a slow, long breath as his hands moved tentatively to my waist and he shuffled slightly closer.

A loud knocking on the hotel room door echoed through the bathroom.