One Kiss in Tokyo... (17 page)

Her grip tightened on the glass. ‘What about her?'

‘Have you told her yet?'

She shook her head. ‘I won't tell her until everything is final. She won't be happy. I know she won't. I'll need to try and make some other arrangements in case she argues with her carers again. I think I'll need to leave a deposit with another agency in case she refuses to let her carers in.'

‘I thought she'd already worked her way around most of the local agencies?'

Katsuko sighed. Even though she knew it was true she was trying to push those thoughts from her head right now. Everywhere she looked it felt like there were barriers to her going. The guilt she felt about her grandmother. The guilt she felt about leaving Don after everything he'd done for her. The blossoming relationship she had with Avery. Was she really ready to give everything up?

The lump in her throat that had appeared a few seconds ago started to seem larger.

‘Are you sure about this?'

Her reply was instantaneous. ‘Don't you want me to go?'

There. She'd said it. The elephant in the room. She was finally calling him on this relationship. Finally asking what it meant.

Avery had a one-second look of panic. She could recognise it from a mile away. ‘Of course I don't want you to go,' he replied. ‘But if this is about your career, then I'd be a hypocrite not to support you. I've spent the last few years moving around in order to get the best experience that I could.'

She blinked. That didn't quite sound the way she wanted. ‘What do you mean,
if this is about your career
?
What else could it be about?'

He turned to face her. Darn it. Those pale green eyes were deadly serious. It made her stomach churn. She much preferred it when they had a wicked gleam in them, the one that usually led to...

‘It could be about running away.'

‘Running away from what?'

He bit his lip. He was obviously trying to find the right words. ‘From the way your grandmother makes you feel. From the way other people make you feel.'

Her mouth instantly dried. ‘My grandmother is just an old woman with old-fashioned views.'

‘Your grandmother has never accepted you for who you are. Don't make excuses for her behaviour. By all accounts, she made your father uncomfortable, she's made Don uncomfortable and she's spent the last twenty-five years treating you as if you're not good enough. I actually think you're right to get away from her.'

She was stunned. And she hated the way those words made her feel.

‘Then why are you saying anything?'

‘Because I think you need to be clear about why you want to go.'

‘What right do you have to comment? You're a fine one to talk about running away from family. You've spent the last few years doing it too.'

He nodded and pressed his hand against his chest. ‘But I know why I distance myself from them. I don't want to be like them. I don't want to be like them at all.' He held up his hands. ‘I see people in relationships here who look as if they'll stay together for ever. I have no examples of that in my family. I don't know what that is. I don't know if I'm even cut out for that.'

She held her breath. For a few seconds she'd been so annoyed about his words that she'd almost missed what he was telling her.

‘And that's part of why you've moved so much?'

His eyes lowered. ‘I've never really tried to find out. When it's time to leave a base I'm generally happy to. All relationships come to a natural end. I've never considered trying to maintain one when I've left.'

Her heart twisted in her chest. ‘And that's what's going to happen to us?'

Was this his idea of letting her down gently? Because it felt like an elephant had just trampled across her chest. ‘You're not prepared to even try?' She picked up the papers in front of her. ‘So, if I decide to put in for a transfer, that's it? Goodbye, Katsuko?'

He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He closed it again and swallowed. He looked at her steadily. ‘What I think is that as soon as you tell your grandmother you're going, she'll make you feel guilty. I think you're making a really brave decision. And the best thing I can do is back you. I want you to feel happy and confident about where you decide to apply. I want you to know that you're a great nurse who'll probably get promoted six months after you leave here. I want you to know that you're good enough to go to any of these bases and they would be lucky to have you. You're making decisions about your life and your career, Katsuko. The last thing you want is for someone to stand in your way.'

She pressed her lips together. There was so much she wanted to say but she didn't want to make a fool of herself. What was the point of putting yourself out there, only to have it thrown back in your face?

She stared at the printouts for a minute. She was taking charge of her life. She'd thought she'd found something special. But maybe the connection she felt was all in her head?

I don't want you to stand in my way, Avery. I want you to stand by my side.

Those were the words she wanted to say—she just didn't have the courage to say them out loud.

She dug under the pile of papers and pulled out the one she'd left till last. ‘We didn't talk about this one. What about this one? They put out a special call on Friday. There's only three weeks left if I want to request it.'

He paled visibly and reached for the paper. It was almost as if he was trying to choose his words carefully. ‘Afghanistan. Why Afghanistan?'

She'd researched it until her brain had almost died from overload. ‘The combat support hospital is more advanced that some modern inner-city ERs. They've devised more patented technology there than anywhere else in the world. The joint theatre hospital at one of the bases is renowned the world over. You should know. You've been there.'

It was almost like a challenge. He'd talked about nearly everywhere he'd been and even though he'd told her initially that he'd probably learned most in Afghanistan, he hadn't gone into the finer details.

He looked at her carefully. ‘Why there? Why now?'

What was he asking her?

She couldn't have timed things any worse. It had taken her twenty-five years to find someone she could consider a future with, and as soon as she'd discovered that, she'd realised she had to spread her wings and fly if she wanted her career to develop. Apt for an air force nurse.

She licked her lips. None of the words she wanted to say seemed right. And some of the things he'd already said prickled more than they should. Was he right? Was she running away from things? And was she running away from him too?

‘I think it will be good for me. I think it will give me the experience I need if I want my career to flourish.' It was the kind of answer you'd give to an interview question.

His face was unreadable. She had no idea what he was thinking. Her insides felt like they were dying. She wanted to tell him how much he meant to her. She wanted to tell him that she spent all day counting down the minutes until she could see him again. Wanted to tell him that she didn't even want to consider a future without him in it.

Her phone beeped and he picked it up from the table, frowned and handed it to her. It was her grandmother. Her fingers immediately started to punch out a reply but his hand closed over hers. ‘Don't.'

The warmth of his hand sent pulses shooting up her arm. He was right there, right there in front of her but he didn't have his arms around her. He didn't have his lips on hers. The emptiness she felt right now was almost an ache.

‘Why not?'

He squeezed his eyes closed for a second. ‘How many times has she messaged you since she met me?'

The question took her by surprise but it didn't take much thought to answer. ‘Every day.'

‘And before that? Before that, how often did she message you?'

It hadn't even occurred to her. ‘Maybe...once a week?'

He shook his head. ‘She senses things, Katsuko. She senses the changes in you. She's still trying to control you. Once you tell her you want to leave she'll do everything she can to stand in your way.'

His clear green eyes were so intense, so sincere. And in a horrible way she knew he was right. She'd just been pushing things away, trying not to think about them too much.

‘How much control you let her have over your life is up to you, Katsuko.'

His gaze was so intense, so penetrating that she had to look away.

All the words that couldn't be said.

She got that. She got that now.

This could be about them. Her grandmother was sensing change. She recognised the signs. She'd seen them in her daughter—and now she could see them in her granddaughter. Two women who had fallen in love. And in her grandmother's eyes with two totally unsuitable men.

She put her hand down on the table to steady her legs. Now she got why Avery wouldn't say the words.

If he felt the same way she did, he didn't want to make her choose. He wouldn't ask her to.

And he was right. As soon as she told her grandmother she'd requested to move base she'd be faced with a whole host of problems. Her phone would probably go non-stop.

She could almost see words forming on his lips. Avery—the confident, intelligent doctor she knew—was racked with self-doubt. His family history preyed on him in a way that it shouldn't. In a life without different bases, different career pathways, no grandmothers and no multi-married parents, she could see them sitting on a porch, growing old together.

Nothing in her head felt straight. How her grandmother continually made her feel. The fact that she hadn't spoken to Don about Afghanistan. How she would feel about being away from her family and friends for months at a time.

And the fact that right now she just wanted to love and be loved.

She felt herself start to tremble. This so wasn't like her. But she just didn't know what to say. She just didn't know what to think.

His gaze was fixed on her. It was like he was looking for a sign. Looking for a prompt so he could say what he really wanted to.

Tears pooled in her eyes. ‘But she's my grandmother' was all that came out.

Avery looked at her for the longest time. Then he gave a little nod of his head. ‘Yes. She is.' He brushed a kiss to the side of her cheek and walked out.

CHAPTER TEN

T
HE
ALARM
SHOT
through the ER. A few newer members of staff frowned, trying to decipher why the cardiac arrest call sounded different.

The rest of the staff didn't hesitate. Katsuko lifted her small patient from the trolley and dropped to her knees. Blake's voice echoed on the Tannoy system.

‘Drop! Cover! Hold!'

The shaking started a few seconds later.

Most of the staff here were old pros. They'd trained for this and had to use their training on a regular basis throughout the year. For the light quakes the alarm didn't sound. It only sounded for the moderate and strong quakes—anything above five on the Richter scale.

There was no space to get beneath the trolley so Katsuko pulled the little girl she'd been treating close to her chest and spoke quietly to her as the ground and walls shook around them.

There were inevitable noises. A few shrieks. A few crashes. The hospital was well prepared. Heavy items weren't stored on high shelves where they could fall and do harm. Larger pieces of furniture were bolted to walls—no one wanted a hospital wardrobe or filing cabinet to land on them.

The little girl didn't seem at all bothered. She'd just had her hand stitched after lacerating it on a piece of glass during a fall. Her mother had gone to the front desk to sign a few forms. Katsuko hoped that she had taken cover somewhere too.

Frank was in the room across the hall. He had an elderly patient next to him on the ground. ‘You two okay?' he shouted.

She nodded, just as the trolley in his room managed to release its brake and roll towards them. ‘Watch out!' she shouted.

Frank barely blinked as the shaking continued. He caught the trolley with one hand and one foot, protecting both himself and the patient.

He squinted up the clock in the hall. ‘This one is lasting a bit longer than normal, isn't it?'

Katsuko nodded. ‘Let's hope there's no damage.'

A phone cut through the shaking. It had a different tone from normal.

Frank mouthed a silent expletive at her as the force of the shaking started to diminish. They both knew exactly what phone that was. It meant there was a problem somewhere else in the hospital.

When the shaking finally stopped Katsuko jumped to her feet. Everything in her surrounding area seemed fine. She put her charge back on the trolley and pulled up the sides just as the mother reappeared. ‘Is she okay?'

Katsuko nodded. ‘We're both fine. How about you?'

The woman nodded, her trembling lip betraying her fear. ‘Thank you.'

Katsuko glanced across the corridor. ‘Need a hand, Frank?'

He shook his head as he snapped the brake back on the trolley and lifted his elderly patient easily on his own. She hid her smile. Health and Safety would have a fit.

Blake appeared at her side. ‘Kat, ICU. Now. Two of the ventilators are down and they need help bagging. The emergency generator hasn't kicked in.'

She took off at a run. Blake's voice carried behind her. ‘Seiko, implement the phone muster. Frank, injury and patient reports. Lei, structural damage.'

They'd hear just how big the earthquake had been in a while, but in the meantime they had systems and processes in place to try and ensure the safety of all the staff and patients.

ICU was silently chaotic. She burst through the doors and was given an immediate wave by a member of staff in the corner. She ran straight over and took over bagging the patient. It wasn't a hard job—it was just essential to maintain the patient's breathing. The emergency generators usually kicked in straight away. This had never happened before.

Staff from other areas arrived too, all moving wherever needed. After a short while maintenance staff arrived, covered in dust, wheeling a portable generator alongside them.

‘The line to the emergency generator has fractured. Repairs will take an hour. There's a gas leak somewhere else, so the main power can't be turned back on.'

The maintenance staff set up the portable generator and the staff from ICU connected the two ventilators. After a few minutes everything seemed to be working again. Katsuko was just putting down the bag and mask when Blake walked through the doors and waved her over.

The senior nurse shot her a glance. ‘Thanks for your help.'

Katsuko gave her a nod and walked to the door. ‘What's wrong?'

Blake looked anxious. He held open the door and started walking back along the corridor with her. ‘Avery was due on duty. He isn't answering his house phone, his mobile or his page. Do you know where he could be?'

Katsuko shook her head. They'd parted on such bad terms last night that she no idea what his plans were for today. ‘Are there reports of any problems?'

Blake nodded as they reached the ER front desk. ‘Some reports are telling us already it was five point nine on the Richter scale. They also think we were only thirty miles away from the epicentre.'

‘Are we expecting casualties?' She was asking the questions she should be asking. But not the questions she
wanted
to ask. She was on duty. She was a nurse. The military were expected to be able to react in the event of emergencies. All staff were supposed to respond.

Avery knew that. He'd been in emergency situations before. She couldn't understand why he wasn't here.

The emergency radio was on behind the desk, the Japanese voice speaking steadily. It sounded like there was some damage across the city. All of the modern buildings had been constructed to withstand earthquakes but some of the older buildings hadn't fared so well. It seemed that years of being shaken by earthquakes had caused some older foundations to finally crumble.

The emergency phone rang again and Blake answered. His brow furrowed as he listened intently. ‘Yes, yes, no problem.'

He looked at the staff who had automatically collected around him—the emergency phone was almost like a homing beacon to ER staff. ‘We're expecting between fifteen and twenty casualties, mainly broken bones and lacerations. There have been a number of wall collapses around us.' He replaced the receiver and glanced at Katsuko, muttering under his breath, ‘Where on earth can he be? We could use him right now.'

The deep voice came from behind her. ‘Who could you use?'

Katsuko jumped and spun around. She hadn't expected to see Don here. She thought he'd be coordinating everything from the control centre.

Blake gave him a nod. ‘General Williams. We're missing Dr Flynn from the staff muster. Can't raise him at all. We don't know where he is.'

‘I know where he is.' He touched Katsuko's elbow and pulled her to the side.

‘What? How do you know where Avery is?'

She didn't understand. Don and Avery hadn't even had an official introduction yet. She hadn't meant to keep him away from Don, it had just worked out that way.

Don spoke in a low voice. ‘Avery came to see me earlier.'

‘What? Why would he do that?' Now she was totally confused. Why on earth would he go to see Don?

Don sighed. ‘He wanted to meet me. He wanted to tell me that he might have upset my daughter by not telling her how he felt about her. He also told me that he didn't want to stand in the way of your career plans.'

‘Why on earth would he tell you any of that?' She didn't get it. She really didn't get it. Last night all she'd wanted him to do was tell her how he felt about her—to be honest with her. He hadn't seemed able to do it, but he could tell Don instead?

Don laid a hand on her arm. ‘He went to see Hiroko.'

‘What? Why?' This was just getting crazier by the minute.

‘He felt as if she might try and ruin your plans. He didn't want her to do that. He told me he was going to see her and tell her how great a nurse you were, how great your career prospects could be, and...' he paused ‘...how proud she should be of you.'

Katsuko gulped. That didn't sound like the actions of a man who didn't care about her. ‘Why would he do that?' she whispered.

Don looked at her with the patient eyes of a father. ‘He also wanted to tell her that at some point he intended to propose to you. And that as your husband he wouldn't allow his wife—or your future children—to be treated as if they weren't good enough.' Don gave a little smile. ‘It seems he's got the size of your grandmother.'

Katsuko looked around. ‘Then where is he?'

Don took a deep breath. ‘That's why I'm here. I can't raise Hiroko on the phone. I've heard reports that some of the houses in the area have collapsed.'

‘What?' She stepped backwards, reaching out for the wall behind her to steady herself.

Don nodded. ‘There's a military car and driver outside.' He glanced over at Blake, who was hovering around, pretending he wasn't listening. ‘We've called in all the extra staff. I'm sure you can be spared.'

Blake walked over to a nearby cupboard and pulled out an emergency pack and hard hat. ‘Here. Take these with you. And bring Avery back. I need him. I need you both.'

Katsuko flung her hands around Don's neck. ‘Thank you,' she whispered.

‘Stay safe,' he replied as he handed her a radio. ‘Let me know how you are.'

* * *

It took more than an hour to reach her grandmother's street. Some roads had wide fractures in them, meaning traffic couldn't go the normal routes. Potholes had opened in some places, with a whole variety of police cordons around trees or buildings affected by the earthquake.

Her grandmother lived in a more rural part of Tokyo. The houses were older single-storey wooden constructions with thatched roofs.

At least they used to be.

Two out of the four houses on the street were still standing.

The other two had collapsed completely, leaving their thatched roofs on what resembled piles of firewood.

‘That one!' said Katsuko, and the driver ground to a halt.

She jumped from the car and ran towards the rubble. A few people were at the other collapsed house in the street, picking up strewn belongings.

Katsuko felt a wave of panic wash over her. Where did she even start? Was her grandmother in there? Was Avery?

She tried to be logical, tried to think with her head instead of her heart.

She crouched down and looked at the pile in front of her. The driver appeared at her side, bent down and unwound her tightly gripped fingers from the radio.

The radio. Of course. So much for thinking with her head. She heard him talking rapidly. All she could think right now was whether anyone could be alive in there.

‘Avery! Avery,' she started shouting. Apart from the noise of distant sirens, the street was strangely quiet.

‘Sobo! Sobo!'
The Japanese word for grandmother was usually an affectionate term. It had never really fitted her grandmother—even now it felt strange to use it.

She shuddered. The house looked so alien to her—as if a giant had walked along the street and flattened it with his foot. It was odd, though, parts of the thatched roof looked strangely intact—as if a crane could come along and lift it back up on top of a newly constructed house.

She started to pull at some of the shattered wood, throwing it behind her as she tried to see anything she recognised amongst the debris.

The driver joined her. ‘What did they say?' she asked.

His face was serious. ‘I've got to radio back if there are any sign of survivors. Emergency services are only reacting to reports of trapped survivors right now.'

Of course they were. What he wasn't saying out loud was that the emergency services didn't have the resources right now to recover bodies. That would come later.

She started to work more frantically, her muscles burning as she tossed pieces of wood behind her.

After ten minutes the driver touched her elbow, almost earning himself a piece of wood in the face. ‘Listen.'

She froze, her ears pricking up instantly.

There it was. A kind of moan.

She dropped to her knees. ‘Avery!
Sobo!
Hiroko!' she shouted at the pile of rubble.

There it was again. A faint noise in the debris.

The driver knelt beside her. They practically had their ears to the ground.

‘Avery!' she shouted again.

‘Kat.' It wasn't a shout. It was more like a hoarse whisper.

She started pulling at the wood again, trying to get closer to the source of his voice. After a few minutes she realised it was useless. The edge of the roof stopped her going any further.

She leaned in, pressing her face right up against the thatch of the roof. She didn't care about the fact it was scratching her face. She didn't care about anything other than finding out that the people she loved were actually in there.

‘Avery, are you there? Are you okay?'

There was a bit of a groan. Then a quip, ‘Oh, so you're talking to me now.'

A tear slid down her cheek. He was alive. He was definitely alive.

She tried to find some words. ‘Are you okay?' she repeated. ‘What about my grandmother?'

It took a few seconds to get a reply. Was he going in and out of consciousness? Could he have a head injury?

‘Give me a minute.'

The driver pressed on her shoulder. He was back on the phone, obviously trying to get them some assistance in the midst of chaos.

It was too quiet. She could hardly bear it. ‘Avery?'

She adjusted her position, trying to figure out exactly where he was. It wasn't easy and she ended up crawling over part of the roof. ‘Avery?'

‘I've got her.'

‘You have?' A second wave of relief washed over her. ‘Is she okay?'

‘I think so.' He made another strange noise. ‘I'm trapped next to her. Give me a second.'

The waiting game. The thing she really wasn't good at.

‘She's breathing. I'm just trying to wake her up.'