One Last Love (8 page)

Day Three

The rain of the day before had disappeared and the sun rose slowly into a perfectly clear sky. Its rays finding their way from the horizon through Bonnie’s terrace window. He leaned his head to one side and watched as the colours of the sky on the horizon slowly changed from magenta to a pinkish blue. The pain of the night before had eased, and while still there, it was bearable.

‘Good morning Bonnie,’ Mary said as she popped herself through the door of Bonnie’s room. ‘Odele left a note saying you needed something to help you sleep last night.’

‘Oh yes. It helped.’

‘That’s good. So you slept well,’ she said as she took his pulse.

‘Quite well. The pain’s still there a bit, but it’s ok.’

‘If it gets too much, just tell me and I’ll give you something to ease it.’

‘What, and then fall asleep and miss a beautiful day like this.’

‘Yes it is a nice day,’ she said as she looked out the window towards the morning horizon. ‘So, anything you need Bonnie?’

‘No, I’m fine.’

‘Breakfast will be along shortly and I’ll pop back to help you with your shower. Alright?’

‘Ok. Um, by the way. How’s Danny?’

‘Sleeping when I walked past his room a few minutes ago. Not you like you Bonnie, up at the crack of dawn,’ she said with a smile and dancing around Bonnie’s question. ‘I’ll be back after you’ve had breakfast,’ she said as she left.

Bonnie started thinking about Danny and Angeline and felt anger at how life had dealt them such an unfair hand. He turned his thoughts to how Danny must has suffered during his life from the bigoted attitudes of the likes of himself and of his own father and how he would’ve reacted if it had been Colin.

Luckily, his thoughts were broken by the rattle of plates and cutlery on the breakfast trolley being wheeled along the hall outside his room. He listened as he could hear the muffled sound of Paul greeting another patient and delivering breakfast. He couldn’t make out the words, but the combination of voices, plates, cutlery and the background hum of the world waking up pleased him. He had another day at least.

He heard the trolley making its way closer.

‘Good morning Bonnie. Hungry?’ Paul smiled.

‘Good morning Paul, perhaps just a little.’

‘I’ll just pop it on here,’ Paul said as he arranged the breakfast tray on the sliding bed table and positioned it for Bonnie. ‘Oh, I’ve got a present for you too.’

‘Oh yes? A pretty blonde? A Ferrari?’

‘Not quite so grand,’ Paul said as he reached into his pocket and gave his gift to Bonnie.

‘Oh, for bloody Pete’s sake,’ Bonnie laughed as Paul handed him a metal ashtray with a pop up lid. ‘I’ve been sprung then have I?’

‘The cleaners complained, so I thought I’d solve the problem.’

‘So, am I going to be charged with littering?’

‘As far as I know, they didn’t call the police Bonnie.’

‘Bloody puritans,’ Bonnie said with a half smile. ‘So am I the only bloody smoker in this place then?’

‘Well, they said they found a butt with lipstick on it, so perhaps not,’ Paul laughed.

‘Oh, I think I know my partner in crime. I’ll have to warn her that she’s also wanted by the cops.’

‘Alright Bonnie, I’ll let you get on with your breakfast.’

‘Thanks Paul. And thank you for being so thoughtful.’

‘Oh, its nothing.’

Bonnie ate little of his breakfast but enjoyed the taste of the coffee. It reminded him of how vile the coffee was in hospital and how he’d drank tea instead even though he didn’t care for tea at all. He pushed the table away as he decided it was time he moved. It took more effort for him to turn on his side and then push himself up into a sitting position. When he finally managed, he sat on the side of his bed and waited for a minute or two before exerting himself again. He let his weight slide from the bed until his feet hit the floor, then steadied himself with his right hand on the bed. His legs weren’t obeying his wish to take a step or two, so he waited for the message to get down to them. He grabbed at the top of his bedside cabinet and more or less dragged his feet towards where his body was heading. Then he slowly started work on getting his dressing gown on. One arm at a time, then tying the cord around his waist. Holding the cabinet with one hand, he pushed out the other and pulled the wheelchair that was beside the cabinet closer to himself, then turned his body and flopped his backside into the chair.

Finally mobile, he wheeled back to his bed and grabbed his gift from Paul and made his way to his terrace. His mouth still enjoying the aftertaste of his coffee, which only served to heighten his need for a smoke. His first puff instantly brought on a coughing fit, but he was used to that. It had been like that for years, so why worry now. He waited for the coughing to subside and puffed again with better results as he enjoyed the fresh morning air and the morning sunlight that was painting itself on the trees and garden. After another puff he looked at the ash forming on his cigarette, opened the lid on his new ashtray and carefully tapped his smoke with his finger and deposited the ash inside. ‘That should keep ‘em happy,’ he thought to himself.

Bonnie wheeled himself out from his terrace and onto the adjoining path and looked down towards the road. The early morning traffic whizzing from left and right as people hurried to work or to drop kids off at school or just hurried to wherever their busy lives demanded them to be so early in the morning. Being in the distance they reminded him of lines of worker ants scurrying backwards and forwards from their nest. Then he moved his focus to the long driveway leading from the gates. He wondered if Jacobs & Sons would be paying a visit this morning. He hoped not. After a while, and with no sign of a car entering, he turned to the rose garden and hoped he may have seen Madeleine sitting on a bench. But he knew it was too early in the day. She’d probably still be eating her breakfast he thought and then wondered in which order Paul delivered the breakfasts. Perhaps he hadn’t delivered Madeleine’s as yet.

He shook his head a little as he retraced his thoughts. Why in hell’s name was he thinking about Madeleine? And worse, if she’s had breakfast yet. ‘Bloody idiot,’ he muttered to himself.

He turned his wheelchair slowly and looked all around. There was no one to be seen and no movement other than the traffic in the distance. With not a breath of breeze, even the trees stood perfectly still. Then he saw two birds flying slowly from the trees and across the grass towards the building behind him. As he looked up to watch them fly by, he caught sight of a spider busily at work building a web up on the eave above his terrace. As he stared at the spider he realised how much people miss while they’re all so busy scurrying like ants from one pointless place to another. After a little while the spider was apparently content with its morning’s work and crawled back into a crevice to wait for its web to catch breakfast. Bonnie lit another cigarette and waited along with the spider. Madeleine again returning to his thoughts. He shooed them away.

‘There you are.’

‘Oh, did you think I’d run away?’ Bonnie smiled as Mary appeared at the door of his terrace.

‘Well, you’ve got wheels Bonnie.’

‘Oh yes, but not a lot of petrol in the tank.’

‘Look, you seem so comfortable there. Do you want me to come back later to help you with your shower?’

‘No, I’ll come in now.’

*****

It was an excuse, but after reading for a little while Bonnie headed off to the dining room to get a morning coffee instead of waiting for the morning tea trolley to arrive. On the way he stopped at Danny’s room hoping to say hello but found the door ajar and Danny asleep. He waited a few moments to see if he may have stirred but there was no movement. Thoughts of Danny not waking had Bonnie shaking his head grumpily and wheeling himself away towards the dining room. Passing the nurses’ station, which was deserted, he turned and entered the dining room, pleased to find the coffee pot was three quarters full and steaming hot. He poured himself a cup and took his coffee to a table and quietly drank it in peace – as the pain returned.

When he’d finished his coffee, he decided not to go and have a smoke on the dining room terrace but go back to his room and lie down, which he hoped would alleviate the pain a little. As he left he half thought about passing Madeleine’s room but decided not to and turned right after the nurses’ station and towards his room instead.

‘Good morning Bonnie.’

‘Oh, hello Madeleine. How are you this morning?’

‘Not too bad Bonnie. I was just heading out to the garden, would you like to join me? It’s such a beautiful morning out there.’

‘How could I refuse?’ Bonnie replied against the best advice of the pain in his chest and shoulders, which he suddenly hoped would simply go away and leave him alone for just an hour or so.

‘I just saw Angeline. She’s feeling a bit poorly this morning but told me she’ll catch up with you later today perhaps.’

‘That’s very nice of her,’ Bonnie said as he struggled with pushing the wheels of his chair.

‘Would you like me to give you a little push Bonnie?’ Madeleine said with a smile as she noticed Bonnie struggling.

‘It’s just a twinge in my shoulder that makes it a bit difficult.’

‘Well, let me give you a hand,’ she said as she hooked her walking stick over her arm and moved around behind his wheelchair. She’s managed only a few paces before Mary appeared in the hall.

‘Well then Bonnie, you’ve really got the ladies doing all the work for you. Typical man huh?’ she winked at Madeleine.

‘We’re just heading to the rose garden,’ Madeleine replied.

‘Ok then. Let me do that then,’ Mary said and took over from Madeleine. ‘Doin’ ok there Bonnie?’

‘Eh, yes thanks.’

Half way to the rose garden, Bonnie leant forward and winced.

‘What is it Bonnie?’ Mary asked as she quickly moved in front of Bonnie’s chair.

‘Just a little pain in the chest,’ he said breathlessly, still half doubled up.

‘Ok, let’s get you back to your room and see what we can do,’ she said and started wheeling Bonnie back inside with Madeleine following but unable to keep up with Mary’s pace. As she wheeled Bonnie past the nurses’ station she quickly told another nurse to get an injection ready for Bonnie immediately. Once back in his room she moved Bonnie onto his bed, took off his shoes and slipped a day blanket on him. The other nurse arrived with the painkilling injection and Mary set about giving it to Bonnie, who was now clearly in considerable pain. Madeleine arrived and waited at the door to Bonnie’s room.

‘It won’t take long Bonnie. Just relax as best you can,’ Mary said, then noticed Madeleine at the door. She asked the other nurse to tidy up and went to Madeleine.

‘Is he alright?’

‘Some pain. The injection will ease that for him and let him sleep.

‘Would it be alright if I sat with him a while?’

‘Sure. He’ll be asleep quite quickly though.’

‘That’s ok. I jus….’

‘It’s ok. We’ve finished. I’ll check on him shortly,’ Mary said as the other nurse passed them on her way out of the room.

Madeleine sat by Bonnie’s bed. ‘You should’ve told me you didn’t feel well.’

‘I like going to the rose garden,’ he said with a little blur in his speech as the injection started working.

‘We’ll go again when you’re up to it,’ she said and placed her hand on his.’

‘Yes….soon…with you,’ he whispered and turned his hand over slowly so his palm met hers.

‘It’s alright Bonnie. I’ll be here,’ Madeleine said as she wrapped her hand around his.

‘I’ll be …. too…,’ he tried to say as he started to drift off to sleep. Managing to ever so gently squeeze her hand. She also very gently squeezed back.

Madeleine didn’t move her hand as Bonnie slept, and as she looked at his face, her thoughts wandered to times long since gone and of the days when she was young, when holding a boy’s hand was only a step away from becoming officially engaged. But right at that moment, oddly, it didn’t feel strange at all.

‘You now it’s a very long time since I held a man’s hand Bonnie,’ she said quietly knowing he couldn’t hear her but feeling it was a good time to tell him a little about what she was thinking. ‘And not something I have ever done lightly I might tell you. Oh, when I was a young lass I had long blonde hair and well, you can imagine I had a few boys that, well, you know what it was like. So anyway, my mother always told me as a young girl that I should never hold a boy’s hand, as it would only lead to trouble. It wasn’t until I was about fifteen that I understood what she meant by this word trouble. Do you remember that Bonnie? When getting a girl into trouble was the worst possible thing in the world that could happen. Actually I had one friend when I was, oh I must’ve been around sixteen or seventeen, and she got into trouble. Sent off quietly by her family to a convent I think, but she just disappeared. At school with me one day and gone the next. But the gossip, oh dear me it was awful when I think about it now.

But after that I, well, I suppose I was curious, well, not silly though, but anyway, there was this one boy who’d caught my eye and what with one thing and another, I finally met him near the our council swimming pool after school. I was a bit shy, or at least I think I probably tried to be anyway,’ she said and laughed quietly. ‘So, we were sitting on the grass and we chatted for a little while about everything and nothing and school and such and then I felt his hand. Oh, I didn’t know what to do at all because I had my mother’s warnings in my head and the thought of the girl who’d been sent off to a convent and well, I just froze. In my own silly girl logic, I had figured that as he was holding the top of my hand, it was alright. So I made doubley sure I didn’t turn my hand over and let his palm touch mine. Silly wasn’t I? But it worked as a good compromise as he seemed quite content holding the back of my hand and in my mind while he only did that I wouldn’t get into trouble.’

Bonnie stirred just a little but didn’t wake and Madeleine waited for his to settle again. She heard footsteps in the hall and waited to see if someone was coming to check on Bonnie but the footsteps passed the door.