One More Sleepless Night (7 page)

He didn’t expect every woman to fall at his feet; it was just that quite a few had done in the years since his divorce, so it was frustrating—not to mention hugely unflattering—when he came across one he wanted who didn’t.

With a growl of frustration Rafael abandoned the bottle and lifted his glass to his mouth instead. He let a cube of ice slide between his lips, crunched down on it and winced at the sudden hit of cold.

‘Would you mind doing my back?’

Rafael jerked and choked on a chunk of ice. He coughed. Pounded his chest. Swallowed hard. And then as the implication of her words hit his brain his blood roared in his ears and his heart lurched so violently he nearly passed out.

God, she really was going to kill him. Because if the mere thought of his hands on her sent him into spasms of lust what would happen when he actually touched her for real? Which he was going to have to, of course, because what else could he do?

Slathering her in warm slippery cream might well unravel what was left of his self-control but he could hardly refuse. Not when lunch had been cleared away a while ago and he was doing nothing but trying not to watch her, picking at that damned label, crunching ice and slowly going out of his mind.

Rafael dragged in a deep steadying breath and told himself to calm down. All he had to do was think of Nicky as one of his sisters, whose backs he’d rubbed cream into loads of times in the past, and it would be fine.

‘Not at all,’ he muttered, getting to his feet and pulling his shorts on over his trunks in the hope it might disguise his body’s reaction to her. As the cotton scraped over his sensitive skin he gritted his teeth and determinedly drummed up images of icicles and igloos.

With not a little discomfort he walked over, knelt down beside her and took the bottle from her outstretched hand, and tried not to jump when their fingers brushed.

‘Thanks.’ Nicky beamed up at him, then settled on her front and to his horror reached behind her and unclipped her bikini top.

It was fine, he told himself again, his jaw so tight he thought it might snap. It was just a back. A long smooth one, yes, but just a back. In the same way that that was just a bottom and those were just legs.

Except that they weren’t because none of her was just anything. It was all slim. Toned. Perfect.

He drew in a breath and let it out agonisingly slowly in an effort to brace himself. He could forget trying to consider Nicky a sister because it wasn’t working. And he could forget the icicles and igloos because they weren’t working either. He was now thinking glaciers. Ice hotels. The Arctic.

All of which melted the instant he put his hands on the silky warm skin of her shoulders. At the feel of her beneath his palms as he slid them down her back, his senses shut out everything but her. The soft texture of her skin... The dizzying scent of the lotion as he smoothed it over her. The dazzling sight of all that bare hot flesh... The muffled sounds of her sighs...

He wondered what she’d taste like and his mouth watered with such longing that his knees nearly buckled beneath the onslaught of it all. His head swam and his body burned and he couldn’t help letting out a deep ragged groan.

The sound of it, so rough, so desperate, snapped him out of the sensuous whirl and brought him crashing back to reality. He jerked his hands off her, snapped back and shoved them through his hair, not caring one bit that they were still covered in cream.

God. What was he doing? What was he thinking? Had he truly lost his mind? And could he even begin to hope she hadn’t heard it?

Apparently not because she tensed a little and her breath hitched. ‘Rafael, are you all right?’ she murmured sleepily.

‘Yes,’ he muttered, totally thrown by the dizzying realisation that he’d been so wholly caught up in her. ‘Why?’

‘You sighed. Deeply.’

‘I’m fine.’

She twisted her head round, squinted up at him and frowned. ‘You don’t look fine. You’re glowering.’

‘Just thinking,’ he said, and told himself he really had to get a grip before all the need, confusion, tension and frustration that were swilling around inside him snapped and he did something truly insane like flip her over, get them both naked and then sink himself inside her.

Her eyebrows shot up. ‘Heavens, about what?’

‘Nothing,’ he said sharply and lurched to his feet. ‘You’re done.’

‘Thank you,’ she said, wriggling slightly to refasten her top. Then she sat up and stared at him. ‘It doesn’t look like nothing. You look like you want to rip something apart with your teeth.’

Such as that bikini? The vision of Nicky writhing beneath him as he tore the red cotton from her body slammed into his head and practically robbed him of breath. Desire clamoured even harder at the flimsy barriers he’d erected and he had the terrifying feeling that he was losing the battle to contain it any longer.

‘It’s work, that’s all,’ he said, and took a quick unsteady step back because he had to get out of here now.

‘Can I do anything to help?’

Yes. Quite a few things. ‘No,’ he said hoarsely.

‘Oh, OK.’ She frowned and bit that luscious lower lip and that was the last straw really. The lust he’d been struggling to keep at bay finally crashed through the barriers and his resistance evaporated beneath the force of it.

What the hell? He thought he’d been obvious, but clearly he hadn’t been nearly obvious enough. And what did he have to lose? His self-control was already in tatters. His brain was already in shreds. What would a slap to the face do that she hadn’t already done to him?

‘Do you
really
want to know what the problem is?’ he growled, way beyond the point of no return to question the wisdom of his actions.

Nicky nodded. ‘I do.’

He reached down, wrapped his hands around her arms and hauled her to her feet. ‘
This
is what my problem is,’ he muttered, barely registering her splutter of shock as he pulled her against him.

He buried one hand in her hair, clamped the other to the small of her back, and as she gasped crushed his mouth down on hers. He plunged his tongue between her parted lips, the desire racing along his veins, burning through his blood and setting fire to his guts. She tasted just as good as he’d imagined. Like honey. Like heaven. And she felt soft and lithe, fitting into his body as if made for him.

His head spinning with dizzying need, Rafael groaned into her mouth and pulled her even tighter against him. He angled her head and deepened the kiss, his relief at finally having her where he wanted her making him so giddy that it was some time before he realised that she wasn’t responding.

But she wasn’t, he realised dazedly, easing the pressure of his mouth and softening the kiss. She was just sort of...there. Hanging limply in his arms. Completely inert.

Her heart wasn’t hammering like his, dammit, her body wasn’t plastering itself uncontrollably against his and her breathing wasn’t all ragged and shaky. She clearly wasn’t being rendered boneless by the experience as he was, which meant that for the first time since confusing lust for something more and proposing to Marina he’d just made a grave error of judgement.

Rafael jerked back, let her go and as he stared down at her stunned expression it all became abundantly clear.

Nicky
didn’t
feel the same way about him. She
hadn’t
been waiting for him to make the first move, and she hadn’t been baffled or struggling or any of the other things he’d thought she might have been doing. It had all been in his wildly overactive, desperately hopeful and seriously deluded imagination.

In other words he’d been a complete and utter fool.

SEVEN

Oh my God, thought Nicky in astonishment, touching her mouth and staring wide-eyed at Rafael as he took a step back and raked his hands through his hair.

What on earth had
that
been all about?

One minute, faintly concerned by the strangled groan he’d let out while rubbing cream into her shoulders, she’d been politely enquiring after his health, the next she’d been dragged into his arms and had the life kissed out of her.

And why would he do that? she wondered dazedly before her head cleared of the shock and the dizziness, and the only feasible answer came to her. Surely he couldn’t
fancy
her, could he?

No. It was impossible. He’d shown no indication that he did. In fact, what with the whole braining him business and the way he’d kept himself so busy over the last twenty-four hours and—with the exception of supper last night—very definitely out of her way, she’d got the impression that she was more of a nuisance than an attraction. Which she could well understand because she hadn’t exactly been the ideal house guest so far.

Yet there was no denying the intensity and the passion behind that kiss. She could still feel the heat of his mouth moving over hers, the pressure of his hands on her body and the tension that had vibrated through him. She could still feel his tongue sliding between her lips and tangling with hers with the kind of skill and focus that her former self would have revelled in. And she could most certainly still feel the hard length of the erection that had been throbbing so insistently against her abdomen.

Good heavens, she thought, blinking in surprise as it became pretty obvious that he did, in fact, want her. Who’d have imagined...?

If she’d given it much thought, which she hadn’t, it would never have occurred to her that someone fancying her at the moment was possible. Why would anyone—especially a man like Rafael who could presumably have whichever woman he chose—when she looked like a wreck and felt about as attractive as a sack of potatoes? But as bizarre as it seemed, all the evidence suggested that was indeed the case.

So was
that
what lunch had been all about? Was that why he’d switched on the charm and shot her so many warm blinding smiles she’d had to slip on her sunglasses? Had he been
flirting
with her?

God, maybe it was and maybe he had. And like the hopeless idiot she’d become she hadn’t had a clue about any of it. She’d taken his attention at face value, and, feeling so deliciously relaxed and so inordinately grateful that he’d respected her request to leave the subject of her nightmare alone, had casually returned his smiles and fielded his questions as if talking to an old friend.

Not only that but she’d asked him to rub cream into her back. She’d even taken her bikini top off, for heaven’s sake. No wonder he’d flipped.

Oh, what a mess, she thought as despair and mortification flooded through her. What a horrible awkward mess. Rafael wanted her. Unfortunately she didn’t want him. Where on earth did they go from here?

But before she could even begin to work out whether she ought to offer him some sort of explanation for her lack of response, Rafael broke the excruciating tension.

‘I do apologise,’ he said with an icy cool formality that knocked her off balance for a second and had her suddenly wondering if maybe she’d got it all wrong. If maybe she’d imagined the scorching heat and the passion that had been pouring off him only a minute ago because there was absolutely none of
that
left, was there? Nor was there any sign of the raw, out-of- control desperation she’d sensed in him when he’d been kissing her. In fact the man standing in front of her with the blank expression on his face, the shutters down over his eyes and the air of tight self-control surrounding him was almost unrecognisable, and to be honest she found the abrupt switch perplexing and not a little disconcerting.

‘Whatever for?’ she said, dragging herself back to what he’d said and thinking that if anyone had to apologise, surely it was her.

‘Assaulting you,’ he said flatly. ‘It was unforgivable. I’m sorry.’

What? ‘Assaulting me?’ she echoed her eyebrows lifting as the feeling of having stepped into an alternate reality grew. ‘You didn’t assault me. You kissed me. There’s a difference.’

‘Is there?’ The flatness of his voice suggested he didn’t agree.

‘Of course.’

He shoved his hands in the pockets of his shorts and his jaw tightened. ‘You didn’t respond.’

And that made him think he’d assaulted her? Hmm, however unpalatable an in-depth explanation for her lack of response might be, she couldn’t let him think that. ‘Well, no,’ Nicky admitted, ‘but that wasn’t your fault.’

‘Wasn’t it?’

‘No.’ She shook her head vehemently and gave him a faint smile. ‘I mean, let’s face it, you’re gorgeous and most women would have swooned at that kiss.’

‘But not you.’

Her smile faded. ‘No. But really, it’s not you. It’s me.’

She didn’t think it would be possible but Rafael went even stiller and his jaw tightened even more and she inwardly cringed because it might be true but it was still one of the most hackneyed lines on the planet. ‘It really
is
me,’ she added, but that didn’t sound any better.

‘Forget it,’ he said with a dismissive shrug.

‘I can’t,’ she said, ‘because you have no idea how much I
want
to find you attractive.’ He winced and she sighed in despair because instead of making things better she was only making them worse. ‘If you’d just let me explain...’

‘You don’t have to explain anything.’

‘I do.’

‘There’s really no need.’

‘I think there is.’

And then his stonily blank mask slipped for a second, his eyes suddenly flashing as he glowered at her. ‘Look, Nicky,’ he snapped and she jumped. ‘For the briefest of moments I found you attractive. Maybe it was the heat. The wine. Or the sun. Whatever. It was an error of judgement on my part, a mistake and an aberration. I apologise for it and you can be sure it won’t happen again, but it really doesn’t warrant discussion.’

‘Yes, it does—’ she began, but broke off when he whipped up his hand to put a halt to whatever she’d been about to say.

‘No. This morning you asked me to leave the subject of your nightmare alone. Now I’m asking you to return the courtesy. So please. Just leave it.’

‘But—’

‘Now.’

At the hard, unyielding tone of his voice Nicky fell silent. She looked at him for a long few seconds and then gave up. What was the point of trying to force an explanation and an apology onto him when he was in such an unreceptive frame of mind? There’d be plenty of time for that later anyway, once they’d both had a chance to cool down and reflect. Although frankly, if Rafael got any cooler he’d qualify for cryogenic preservation.

‘OK. Fine,’ she said grudgingly. ‘I’ll drop it.’
For now.

‘Good,’ he said curtly and swiped up his T-shirt. ‘Now please excuse me. There are things I need to see to.’

* * *

The distant sound of her mobile ringing in the kitchen filtered through the haze of her sleep-filled siesta, and Nicky yawned and stretched. She got up and padded down the stairs, her head beginning to spin yet again with the strange turn of events that the afternoon had taken.

So much for attempting to explain her behaviour, for trying to apologise. She’d done her level best, she really had, but for some reason Rafael had thwarted her every attempt.

In fact she probably shouldn’t have bothered to try in the first place, she thought as she headed in the direction of the increasingly loud ringing, because hadn’t he told her that he steered well clear of emotional mess? He had, so presumably the last thing he was hankering after was a spilling out of her soul, and in that they were in perfect agreement. Actually, apart from Gaby, it was about the only thing she and Rafael
did
have in common.

And as they were never going be anything more than the merest of acquaintances she really didn’t need to waste any more time worrying about it. She had no need to ponder the odd way he’d gone from scorchingly hot to icily cold by the pool. No need to question the steely indifference he’d chosen to adopt, and no need to try to work out what was going on in his head any more than he needed to try and work out what was going on in hers.

No, she needed to pour all her energy to recovery. Recovery and staying well out of his way.

Spying her phone vibrating on the huge scrubbed pine table that sat in the centre of the kitchen, Nicky walked over, picked it up and hit the little green button. ‘Hello?’

‘Nicky!’ came the relieved shriek down the phone, and at the sound of Gaby’s voice she pushed all thoughts of perplexing men to one side and felt herself smile.

‘Well, hello, stranger,’ she said, pulling out a chair and sitting down.

‘God, I’m sorry. I lost my phone and all the numbers and
everything
and it’s taken an age to get a new one.’

‘So that’s why I couldn’t get hold of you.’

‘No one’s been able to. It’s been a
total
pain.’ As Gaby’s entire life was contained in her phone, Nicky could imagine her distress.

‘How’s Bahrain?’

‘Hot. And depressingly dry, in all senses of the word. But more importantly, how are you?’

Hmm. Now wasn’t that the question of the century? Quite honestly, what with everything that had been going on lately Nicky wasn’t sure she knew any more. ‘Fine,’ she said in the absence of having any idea what else to say.

‘Really?’

‘Well, getting there,’ she amended as it suddenly struck her that maybe she was. Maybe the
cortijo had
begun to work its magic, because, now she thought about it, of all the emotions that had been churning through her in the last couple of days—and there’d been plenty—despair and desolation had been conspicuous by their absence.

‘Good. And how are your chakras?’

She thought about it a bit more and felt surprisingly light, as if the dark heavy weight she’d been carrying around for so long was beginning to lift a little. And then her smile deepened as the light at the end of that tunnel glowed a fraction brighter. ‘Beginning to align, it would seem.’

‘Hah,’ said Gaby triumphantly. ‘I knew it. God, I’m good.’

Nicky sat back in the chair, lifted her knees and planted her heels on the edge of the seat. ‘Not that good,’ she said dryly, wrapping her arm around her ankles and hugging her knees to her chest. ‘I thought you swore your brother never came down here.’

‘He doesn’t. Or at least he hasn’t for ages.’

‘He does now.’

There was long, rather stunned silence. ‘Rafa’s there?’

‘Yes.’ At least she imagined he was. Probably seeing to those ‘things’ that had suddenly demanded such urgent attention.

‘Good Lord. Why?’

Nicky paused and racked her brains because she could hardly tell Gaby her brother had been escaping his sisters. ‘I think he was after a bit of rest and relaxation,’ she said vaguely.

Gaby blew out a breath. ‘Oh, I
am
sorry.’

‘Why? It’s not your fault.’

‘No, I guess not. I mean, I did try and contact him, but he wouldn’t answer any of my calls and he didn’t reply to any of my emails...It never occurred to me he’d actually show up, though.’

‘Well, he did,’ Nicky muttered, catching sight of a slip of paper propped up against the vase of flowers sitting in the centre of the table. She leaned forwards to read the short note and then sat back and frowned, not at all sure what to make of it. ‘But now it seems he’s gone.’

There was a pause. ‘Gone? Gone where?

‘Back to Madrid.’

‘Why?’

An excellent question. ‘Work, according to the note I’ve just found.’

There was a moment’s silence while Gaby processed the information. ‘That doesn’t make any sense at all.’

‘Well, it is Sunday,’ said Nicky, propping the piece of paper back where she’d found it. ‘So I guess he had to get back for Monday.’

‘But it’s August,’ said Gaby, sounding utterly baffled. ‘No one works in August.’

Nicky bit her lip and tried to ignore the niggling suspicion that he’d planned to stay longer than just the weekend and had it not been for her he’d still be there. ‘Apart from Rafael apparently,’ she said, and then added as much to reassure herself as Gaby, ‘You said yourself that he’s a workaholic.’

Gaby sighed. ‘That’s true, I suppose. What else did his note say?’

‘Not a lot. Just that I’m to enjoy the rest of my holiday.’

‘I second that... So tell me everything. How did Rafael take you being there?’

Nicky grimaced as snapshots of the last couple of days flashed through her memory. ‘I don’t think he was entirely happy about it.’ Which had to be the understatement of the century.

‘No, well, he only has himself to blame,’ said Gaby huffily. ‘If he’d bothered to get in touch I could have explained everything.’

‘It was fine,’ said Nicky and hoped she wouldn’t be struck down for the little white lie. ‘Rafael spent most of the time talking to his vines and I’ve spent most of it reading by the pool. And that’s—er—about it.’

Gaby hmmed sceptically. ‘Now why do I get the feeling you’re not telling me everything?’

Probably because Nicky sounded as guilty as hell, even though she didn’t really have anything to be guilty about. But heavens, now really wasn’t a good time for Gaby to have one of her flashes of insight, because she was, after all, Rafael’s sister, and, while Nicky didn’t have any siblings so she didn’t know for sure, she doubted Gaby would feel comfortable knowing exactly what had gone on by the pool any more than
she
would be discussing it.

‘Nicky?’

She stifled a sigh and ran a hand through her hair. ‘I can’t imagine,’ she said and cringed because it would have been hard to sound less convincing.

‘Could it be because you’re being uncharacteristically evasive?’

Nicky could virtually see her friend’s antennae quivering, and pinched the bridge of her nose. ‘I’m not being evasive,’ she said. Evasively.

Gaby sucked in a breath and then said in a steely voice that Nicky had never heard before, ‘What did he do?’