One Night (14 page)

A heroin high isn’t the same every time. Sometimes I’d start with a pure manic single- minded rush, where I’d get this goal in my head and that’s all I could think about, do, see. I used to clean a lot, those times. Middle of the night I’d be cleaning my room or scrubbing my bathroom. Reorganizing the books in Kit’s library—I did that more than once. She’s a sound sleeper, my aunt.

But sometimes it takes you the other way. Most times, maybe. A lockdown, that’s how I think of it. There’s no noise, no thought, no feeling. There’s no one watching or talking or judging. It’s all just shut out. Everything shuts down. That’s how it was that night when I went out to look at the stars. In the whole wide world, it was just me and the stars, one after another, falling out of the sky.

You can finish the story, right? You can figure what happened next, how it happened?

The candles, the curtains. The baby-sitter, useless, nodding off in the backyard. That’s where they found me, wasted, untouched by the fire, not even aroused by the fire. While the baby…

She didn’t die. They got to her through that smoke and heat. One lung was destroyed, but she didn’t die. You might say, Tom, that it was the one good thing about that night.

No, there’s a second. The moment they heard that the firemen had found me—how they had found me—in the yard, Billy and Ann put up a wall. Built a big solid wall between my life and theirs. And I’m glad they did it. I mean it, believe me; with all of my heart I’m glad they did it.

I’ll never hurt her again.

I picked up the paddle and straightened us out, pointed us east. I was hoping hard that Tom would stay quiet. I didn’t want to hear what he was thinking, not now. Didn’t want to deal with judgment of any type, didn’t want—

“Tom! What are you doing? Don’t stand up in a canoe!” But he didn’t heed me and he rose to his feet. The paddle nearly flipped out of my hand when I grabbed the gunwales, trying to steady the rocking. The paddle dropped
to the canoe floor with a loud clang that echoed across the water.

“You’re going to tip us. Tom! You can’t just stand up and turn around in a canoe.”

“I want to look at you.”

“Well, look at me later. Besides, the sun’s coming up over there. Now you’re sitting the wrong way.”

“I’m not going to tip us. Quit your moaning. Oh, Kelly, you shouldn’t have made me give up the suit at the thrift shop. I had a handkerchief in it. You could use one.” He settled in. “All safe.”

I rolled my eyes. Wiped my face with the back of my hand.

“We’re a lot alike,” he said.

“I don’t see the least bit of similarity. For one thing, I know how to behave in a canoe.”

He smiled. “As I was saying: a lot alike. Our families are a mess. And we both have sisters just out of reach.”

I rolled the paddle in my hand, the smooth wood a familiar comfort. “Even if there is a resemblance, Prince Tom, that’s where it ends, because mine is better off for the separation.”

Tom raked me over with those changeable eyes. Then after a very long time he said, “Is your mother beautiful, too?”

I looked at the house one more time before setting my paddle in and steering us away. I nodded and whispered, “Very beautiful. Athletic. She had a wonderful laugh. She painted and sewed. She made such gorgeous things. Quilts, you should see the quilts she made.”

“You make it sound like she’s dead. Tell me more. Tell me another nice thing about her.”

I thought for a moment.
“
She
never once said ‘Don’t disappoint me.’ I never once heard it from her. Just that one weird thing: ‘Be good at what you do.’ But you know, now that I think about it again, I can see that maybe it’s kind of a wish, isn’t it? A wish for someone you…”

“Someone you love?”

I didn’t answer.

He flicked his hand in the water, scattering drops. “So when you did disappoint her, it really mattered.”

“I’ve said enough, Tom.”

“Tell me about—”

“Nothing more. You’ve pushed me this far, Your Highness. Any more, and I’ll push you—into the water. The sun’s coming up. You’d better look; after all, that’s why we’re here.”

My eyes were on the distant lakeshore, but I could feel him looking at me, deciding how far he could go.

He was no moron. “All right then,” he said cheerfully. “Let’s watch the darn sun. I guess I’d better change position.” He stood up, waited until he had my attention, then grinned and rocked the canoe. Ha ha, it’s a joke, his dopey look said, but then that vanished when the canoe kept on rocking with a rhythm of its own. He tilted on one foot, arms flailing, weight shifting. I set down the paddle, dropped low to my knees, grabbed the gunwales to steady things, and ordered him to sit.

He obeyed the command, shifting around slowly so he was facing front. He sat down low, leaned back against the thwart, and relaxed. I was still on my knees, and his hair brushed my cheek as he settled.

“Pretty sunrise,” he said.

“See that silver streak between the trees?”

“No.”

I pointed. “Between the spiky pine and that big round oak. That’s the university art museum. It’s at least three miles away, but it’s on the town’s only hill and we can see it way over here. It has stainless-steel walls and they reflect the light like you wouldn’t believe. There, that flash, did you see it?”

Tom didn’t say. He simply pulled my arm down, set it across his chest and held it in place. Then (what the hell) I wrapped the other one around him and rested my chin on his head.

Oh, a canoe is a dangerous place. Not because you’re one stupid move from cold weedy water. But because there you are, just the two of you, with maybe all the time in the world to talk. Or not talk, and that’s dangerous, too.

After a while, a nice long while, he spoke. “When I go back to Lakveria,” he said softly, “it’s likely I’ll be killed. The terrorists won’t give up ’til they’ve done that. They thrive with chaos. They get rich from the chaos. Any hint of order or peace is a threat. That’s what Natalia was, a threat. She was becoming respected, maybe loved, and that suggested the possibility of peace. Anything that could remotely unify the Lakverians, they’ll want to destroy. I’m a target, Kelly Ray.”

“You have security.”

His chest moved under my hands as he laughed. “It was no match for you and Simone.”

“Don’t go back to Lakveria. Don’t let them make you king.”

“I have to. It’s who I am, and it’s what I have to do. There’s a chance I might help, Kelly, there’s a chance things can be better. If I can help that to happen, then Natalia’s suffering won’t be for nothing. That makes it all worth it to me. It’s as simple as that.

“It’s what I have to do,” he repeated softly. “I will, and I want to, but sometimes I feel like I just don’t know how.”

“One day at a time, Prince Tom. Take it one day at a time.”

He crisscrossed my hands under his, squeezed them tight, and then said, “Look!” just as the sun broke over the trees, opening up another fine summer day.

three

talk now

There were three police cars in the small lot near the canoe racks. Tom shrugged and said “Hardly matters now” when I pointed them out, but I wasn’t so blasé. It didn’t matter what had been said and what promises he’d made; I wouldn’t rest until I’d made the delivery.

The officers were rousting figures sprawled near a cluster of trees on the boulevard. Bottle necks protruded from three brown paper bags. The rousting wasn’t work enough for six men and women, so one of the officers sauntered over to the racks as I was securing the canoe.

“Gonna be a hot one,” he said. “Six a.m. and already seventy-eight degrees. I bet it was nice and cool out on the water.”

“Nice as can be,” said Tom.

I glanced over to the other cops. They had successfully hauled the men up and were guiding them to separate patrol cars, offering a one-way ticket to detox. Yet another of the cops walked toward us. “Whatcha got, partner?” he asked the one with us.

“Just a couple of lovebirds back from a morning paddle.”

I could feel the heat of his partner’s gaze on my back as I locked up the canoe. I emerged from the racks and grabbed Tom’s hand. “Let’s go,” I said.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” he answered. Then he flashed a royal smile on the two policemen and said, “We both have to get to work.”

Cop number two looked us over, up and down. “Work?” he snorted. “Dressed like that?” His thumb tapped on his wide gun-bearing belt.

“Hey, Dan, let it go,” said cop number one. Dan didn’t budge, just studied Tom and me.

I spotted a bus coming down Franklin Hill. “Have a great day, officers,” I said with false cheer. I kept hold of Tom’s hand as I led him away, trying not to look like I was fleeing.

Tom whispered to me, “We could have gotten a ride, I bet.”

“We have a ride. Hurry up, Your Highness, your coach has arrived.”

I glanced back once we were seated on the bus. The two men had returned to their car. Officer Dan stood watching the bus pull away.

*

Dakota City buses converge downtown at Water and Ninth. At this hour it was mostly worker bees coming and going, and Tom and I blended into the cheerless throng as we stepped off the bus. I half expected to be met by a blockade of patrol cars and a line of cops, led by suspicious Officer Dan, but as I scanned the crowds, the only official person in sight was a city transit worker, peering into the wiring of a dead traffic signal.

The parking ramp attendant was in her booth when I led Tom from the sidewalk onto the ramp. She pointed energetically toward the pedestrian walkway. I blew her a kiss. “She hates it when you don’t stay on the sidewalk,” a voice behind me said. I turned and saw Miller, the KLIP security guard, headed in to work “Once she even ran out of her booth and yelled that I was jeopardizing her job and my life by taking the shortcut.”

A souped-up Beetle roared past. “Perhaps she has a point,” Tom said after he’d jumped to safety.

Miller looked him over, making a very close study. Then he turned to me and said, “Good morning to you, Kelly. I have to say, thanks to your aunt and yourself, that yesterday turned out to be one of the more interesting workdays I’ve had here at KLIP.” A BMW roared onto the ramp, and Miller and I joined Tom on the sidewalk. Miller motioned toward Tom. “Is this the young man with whom you were on the lam?”

“Yes. What happened?”

“What happened and what I heard was happening from the talk in the cafeteria, being not entirely the same thing, together make up an interesting story.” He faced Tom and bowed. “Your Highness.” He straightened. “Though I must say, dressed as you are, I would never have guessed. And what sort of accent do I detect?”

“Texas,” I said impatiently. “What’s the story?”

“Around four o’clock, just as I was taking a break to get refreshed for the double shift I agreed to work since Tony Herbert called in sick, though I suspect that wasn’t precisely the situation considering the Red Sox are in town for three and Tony, who was to have relieved me, is a very homesick native of Boston—”

“Miller, please. What happened?”

He shrugged. “The place was crawling with cops and bodyguards. One was even assigned to keep me company, which wasn’t too bad a thing because he played a nice game of gin. About nine o’clock, though, most of them were pulled off, but the orders were still clear: If you returned to the station, they were to be notified at once. And if you were accompanied by anyone, you were both to be personally escorted to the security office, where you would be courteously detained. Under no circumstances was your companion to be allowed upstairs to Ms. Carpenter’s office.” He checked his watch. “Talk about being detained. I was hoping to grab a bite in the cafeteria before I punched in.”

“So that’s what happened; what was it you heard?” Tom asked, walking along with Miller.

“That Kelly was painting the town with a prince. No one was sure, though, if she was taking orders from her aunt to rope in an interview, or”—he shrugged again—“showing you a good time and partying. Maybe the way she used to. Which would sadden us all.”

“We did have a good time,” Tom said, “while she roped me in for an interview. And no one needs to be sad.”

Maybe getting inside wasn’t going to be as easy as walking in and saying hi to whoever was on duty. “Think they’ll stop us from going in?”

Miller’s eyes widened. “I don’t know what ‘they’ll’ do, but if yesterday’s instructions are still operational,
I’ll
stop you.”

“Miller, please.”

“No way, Kelly. You’re a nice girl with a friendly word for me every time you come to work, but I won’t do it. I’m not risking my job, not a chance.”

We’d moved off the sidewalk and were standing in an empty spot with a Reserved sign painted on the concrete column. A Lexus honked and flashed its lights as it angled in, bullying us out of the space.

“The jig is up,” Miller said. “I’m turning you in.”

“Miller, if you—”

He smiled and held up a hand. “I’ll tell you what I always told my two girls: Don’t whine and don’t beg. Give me reasons to do something, and if they’re good ones, well, then I’m reasonable. But, Kelly, not this. Why, you don’t even have your ID on. Ignoring that alone could get me fired.” Miller resumed the walk to the station entrance.