One Night in the Ice Storm (8 page)

She
was wet again, and he would be fully aware of that fact when he…

“Oh
God!” she cried, clinging to his shoulders as he started to stroke her with his
fingers.

It
didn’t take long for his skillful hand to bring her to climax—and she gasped
and shook on top of him as the pleasure tightened and released deliciously.

“Oh,
that was good,” she groaned as her body relaxed afterwards. “You’re certainly
very handy.”

He
choked on a laugh at her bad joke and pulled her up higher so he could kiss
her.

He
kept kissing her. And each kiss felt like a caress.

“You’re
so incredible, Rachel,” he murmured between the kisses. “So sweet, so
beautiful, so generous, so brave.”

Emotion
overwhelmed her, more powerful than her physical release. She wanted so much to
hear the words. Wanted so much to believe them.

But
they were dangerous. Even before dawn, this was dangerous.

She
snorted in an attempt to distract herself. “Brave? Despite how impressive
your…attributes are, it didn’t take that much courage for me to—”

He
silenced her with another kiss, this one longer, lingering, breathtaking.
“You’re the bravest person I know, Rachel. You always have been.”

She
didn’t understand why he would think that. She didn’t know why he seemed to
believe it.

She
didn’t understand any of this, and she desperately didn’t want it to end.

If
it went on any longer, though, she would never recover from it.

Trying
to find a compromise with herself—ending the really dangerous part but not
ending the night entirely—she settled into his embrace, ducking her head so he
couldn’t kiss her anymore. ”Okay. After that courageous effort, I’m tired
again.”

He
reached down and pulled the blanket over both of them. She felt him kiss her
hair, and he didn’t say anything else.

Rachel woke up to a
sudden chorus of clicking and beeping.

The
power had come back on.

She
blinked several times, trying to orient herself to the living room, which was
light from the emerging sunlight through the bay window and the lamp that had
been left on across the room.

She
was still on the couch. Still curled up in the bend of David’s body. His arms
were still wrapped around her.

Despite
the fact that her ankle ached, her head was a little blurry, and one arm had
lost circulation from being trapped beneath her body, she felt at home there.
She didn’t want to move.

She
felt David shifting behind her, and she knew he had awakened too.

“Good
morning,” he said, his voice thick from sleep. He nuzzled her neck, strangely
intimate. “How do you feel?”

“Okay.”
She made herself pull out of his arms and sit up. She really needed to clear
her head. “My ankle is still sore, but I’m sure it will be fine.”

She
felt him watching her as she stretched and blinked, and it made her decidedly
nervous.

What
the hell was he thinking? What the hell was
she
thinking? How could she
have done this to herself again?

She
wasn’t seventeen anymore, but she was evidently just as stupid with her heart.

“I
guess we should get up,” she said at last, since someone needed to say
something. “If it’s warmed up the way they were forecasting, then the roads
might be clear and Mom and Brad will be coming out.”

She
almost choked at the thought of her mother and brother finding her and David
like this, knowing what she’d done last night.

That
gave her enough incentive to stand up. She wobbled a bit, since her ankle was
sorer than she’d expected.

David
got up immediately, but she was already stable again when he put a supporting
arm around her.

“I’m
fine.” She tried not to jerk away from his touch in an automatic defensive
instinct. “Just took a minute to get my ankle to work.”

“You
should try to stay off it as much as you can for the next few days.”

For
a brief moment, she had a crystal-clear glimpse of a future with David. She
could see herself surrounded by his understated kindness, his dry laughter, his
absolute commitment to taking care of her. Even his obnoxious bossiness.

And
she wanted it. She wanted it desperately.

Exactly
as she’d wanted it when she was seventeen.

She
sucked in a shaky breath and slipped out of the protection of his arm. “I’m
going to take a shower. You’re welcome to use the shower in Brad’s old room if
you want.”

She
limped out to the hallway, hiding her face behind her hair as much as she could
so he wouldn’t get a clear glimpse of her expression.

A
few years ago, her grandfather had installed a new tankless water heater for
the house, so the water was almost immediately warm when she turned on the shower.

She
didn’t start to cry until she stepped under the spray.

As
she scrubbed David off her body, she sobbed as quietly as she could. It was
exactly like it had been before. A night full of passion, intimacy, even
laughter, followed by David’s being as quiet and considerate as he’d been just
now.

The
day after her first time with him she’d been ecstatic. She hadn’t been able to
stop giggling and hugging herself. She’d dreamed a lot of silly dreams about a
wedding, a family, a life with David.

She
hadn’t suspected for even a second that he would never call her again. That when
she went over to his house, nervous and bewildered after two days of no contact
despite several attempts to call and email him, he wouldn’t answer the door.
That when she ran into him at her grandfather’s dealership a few days later as
he’d been dropping off Brad, David would act like he hadn’t even seen her.

Her
heart wasn’t going to be able to survive it again.

At
least she didn’t still live in this town. She wouldn’t have to see him everywhere
she went, hear his name mentioned every day.

She
could escape back to her little apartment and an anonymous city that didn’t
know her, that wouldn’t break her heart.

She
gotten herself under control by the time she’d dried her hair and dressed in
jeans and a soft sweater. All she had to do was get through an hour or so until
David left, and then she’d be all right.

She
went downstairs and saw he was outside, backing his truck out of the ditch.
He’d probably sprinkled ice melt behind the tires so they wouldn’t spin on the
remaining ice as he backed out.

She
watched through the bay window as he walked back to the house, leaving his
truck at the end of the driveway.

He
must have taken a shower before he put on the clothes he’d worn the day before.
He looked strong, rumpled, and handsome—still in need of a shave. His eyes were
on the roof of the house, and she assumed he was checking its condition.

She
heard him enter through the side door and rustle in the mudroom, probably
taking off his coat.

She
didn’t move from her position at the bay window. She
couldn’t
move.

She
felt him enter the room, but she didn’t turn around.

Then
she felt his arms wrap around her middle and his big, warm body press into her
back.

“Hi,”
he said.

It
felt so good. His voice sounded warm, fond, exactly as she wanted to hear it.

Exactly
as he’d sounded after he’d fucked her eight years ago and then dumped her.

“So,”
he continued slowly, tilting his head as if he were trying to see her face.
“Last night was really good.”

“Yeah.”
Her voice was weak. No more than a breath. She was shaking helplessly inside,
but her body was frozen.

When
she was twelve, she’d insisted on going on a hike up a mountain with Brad and
David. She’d missed a step and had to catch herself from falling, tearing a
ligament in her shoulder in the process. She hadn’t told them until she got
home, making it through the hour remaining of the hike in agonizing pain. She’d
refused to admit she wasn’t as capable as the boys were.

She’d
spent her whole life making sure no one thought she was weak and silly.

She
might be crushed now but—just like last time—she wouldn’t let anyone know. She
would at least hold onto her pride.

She
made herself smile and turn around.

David’s
dark eyes were so deep and full. They seemed to be offering her so much.
Everything.

Just
as they’d seemed eight years ago.

Before
he could say anything, she stretched up and gave him a light kiss on the side
of his mouth. “It was great. We’re really good in bed together.”

“I
agree.” He tried to deepen the kiss.

She
pulled away, holding onto the smile that was one of the hardest things she’d
ever done. “But let’s not pretend it means anything more than the one night.”

He’d
been reaching out for her again, but at her words he stopped. Froze. “What do
you mean?”

There
was something strange about his expression, but she was trying so hard to keep
her casual composure that she couldn’t even really see it. “Well, it was fun.
But neither of us will be fooled into thinking it was serious, so there’s no
reason to go through the motions.”

He
still hadn’t moved. “Rachel? I thought—”

She
managed to give a somewhat convincing laugh, afraid he would know—afraid he
already knew—that she was absolutely crazy about him. “It was even better this
time than last time. Maybe eight years from now we can do it again. But I’m
pretty happy with my life in Richmond so have no worries about me hanging out
here mooning over you.”

She’d
meant the last sentence as a joke, and she thought she’d done a decent job with
the teasing inflection. But David didn’t laugh.

He
didn’t say anything.

Rachel’s
eyes were burning now. She had to end this conversation—get him out of the
house—soon. She turned to peer out the window. “How did the road look?”

He
didn’t answer, so she glanced over her shoulder. “How did the road look?” she
repeated. Her voice sounded strange in her ears, but she hoped he wouldn’t
notice.

“Fine,”
he said at last. “It’s drivable now.”

“Good.
You’re welcome to take off then, whenever you want. No need to hang around on
my account.” Since her voice broke on the last word, she covered it with a
cough.

“I’ll
stay until Brad and your mom get here.”

She
limped over to the couch and started to gather up the blanket and flannel
sheets so she could throw them in the washer, still holding on to her fake
smile. “No need. I’m a big girl, remember? Self-sufficient.”

The
reference to their conversation last night was torture, since she’d felt so
close to David then. It had felt so
real
. But she said it anyway, as a
kind of self-punishment.

She’d
been the one who was stupid, so she now had to pay the price.

“Okay.
If you’re sure.” His voice was a little hoarse, but she barely noticed, so
focused was she on holding back the sobs tightening in her throat.

“I’m
sure,” she managed to say. “I’m sure I’ll see you around. I hope you have a
great Christmas.”

He
didn’t answer, but she told herself her duty was done. She picked up the pile
of sheets and blanket and carried it into the laundry room off the kitchen.

She
had to get away from him. Now.

She
was at the washer when she heard him enter the kitchen. “Have a merry Christmas
too,” he called, his voice slightly muffled since he was walking as he spoke.
“Take care.”

He
left then, but she waited until he got to his truck and then disappeared down
the county road before she collapsed on the couch.

She
jumped up like she’d been stung as she remembered what they’d done on the couch
the night before.

Instead,
she sat down on one of the wing chairs and cried.

***

Fifteen minutes later,
her phone rang. It was on the coffee table, so she had to get up to reach it.

She
checked the caller ID and saw it was her brother.

She
cleared her throat before she answered. “Hey, Brad.”

“What
the
hell
did you do?” he demanded, without greeting or warning.

“What?”

“What
the hell did you do to David?”

“What
are you talking about?” She’d thought she was done crying for the moment, but
her mind still wasn’t working clearly. She blinked in bewilderment at the
absolutely irrational question and his angry tone.

“What
the hell happened with David last night? I just talked to him.”

Her
heart had been pounding, and now it seemed to lodge in her throat. “What did he
tell you?”