One Night Only (191 page)

“O
n
pape
r
,
yes
,
i
t
doe
s
soun
d
ideal
.
I
t
isn
’
t
alway
s
as straightforwar
d
a
s
that
,
though
,
James
.
Depressio
n
can hi
t
an
y
o
f
u
s
a
t
an
y
time
.
I
f
yo
u
tel
l
you
r
docto
r
how
you’v
e
bee
n
feeling
,
he’l
l
b
e
abl
e
t
o
decid
e
i
f
yo
u
ar
e
o
r
if
yo
u
ar
e
not
.
It
’
s
nothin
g
t
o
b
e
frightene
d
o
r
ashame
d
of.”
Jame
s
dran
k
th
e
dreg
s
o
f
th
e
whiske
y
fro
m
hi
s
glass
an
d
wipe
d
hi
s
mouth
.
H
e
looke
d
a
t
Rut
h
an
d
gav
e
a
nervou
s
laugh
.

“
Y
o
u
probabl
y
thin
k
I’
m
som
e
sor
t
o
f
nut-jo
b
sitting her
e
spillin
g
m
y
gut
s
ou
t
t
o
you
.
I’v
e
ha
d
a
fe
w
to
o
many
whiskies
.
Jus
t
ignor
e
me
.
I’
m
sur
e
yo
u
nee
d
t
o
ge
t
home.
I’l
l
probabl
y
hav
e
forgotte
n
al
l
abou
t
i
t
b
y
th
e
tim
e
the mornin
g
come
s
and
,
wit
h
Gin
a
i
n
hospital
,
I’
m
sur
e
Polly
wil
l
hav
e
a
lo
t
o
n
he
r
min
d
ove
r
th
e
nex
t
fe
w
weeks.
”

Rut
h
though
t
fo
r
a
moment
.
Sh
e
ha
d
suffere
d
a
t
the hand
s
o
f
th
e
Bi
g
Blac
k
Dog
,
a
s
i
t
wa
s
known
,
o
n
many occasion
s
a
s
sh
e
battle
d
wit
h
lif
e
afte
r
Jeffre
y
.
Sh
e
knew th
e
signs
.
Sh
e
kne
w
th
e
danger
s
i
f
i
t
go
t
ou
t
o
f
hand
.
She
couldn
’
t
jus
t
ge
t
u
p
an
d
g
o
afte
r
h
e
ha
d
give
n
he
r
onl
y
a
tin
y
par
t
o
f
hi
s
feelings
.

“I’
m
i
n
n
o
hurr
y
,
”
sh
e
said
.
“
I
ca
n
liste
n
i
f
yo
u
wan
t
to talk
.
Y
o
u
kno
w
,
bein
g
depresse
d
i
s
mor
e
commo
n
than yo
u
migh
t
think
.
A
lo
t
o
f
me
n
wit
h
live
s
jus
t
lik
e
your
s
go throug
h
exactl
y
ho
w
you’r
e
feelin
g
righ
t
no
w
.
It
’
s
bette
r
to tal
k
i
t
out
.
I
don
’
t
kno
w
yo
u
bu
t
I’v
e
a
goo
d
ea
r
an
d
I’m
willin
g
t
o
listen
.
Sometime
s
it
’
s
easie
r
t
o
tal
k
t
o
a
stranger tha
n
i
t
i
s
t
o
you
r
ow
n
neares
t
an
d
dearest.
”

James
nodded
and
let
out
a
long
sigh.
“I
don
’
t
want
to
le
t
Poll
y
down
.
I
don
’
t
wan
t
he
r
t
o
thin
k
I’
m
wea
k
and tha
t
I
can
’
t
cop
e
wit
h
ou
r
life
.
W
e
hav
e
a
grea
t
life
,
you kno
w
.
Mayb
e
I’
m
jus
t
ungrateful.
”

“No
!
Y
o
u
ar
e
no
t
ungratefu
l
a
t
all
.
I
f
yo
u
were
,
you wouldn
’
t
b
e
talkin
g
t
o
m
e
wit
h
suc
h
concer
n
righ
t
no
w
.
Ho
w
lon
g
hav
e
yo
u
bee
n
feelin
g
lik
e
this?
”

“Months.
”
H
e
stare
d
a
t
th
e
tabl
e
an
d
bi
t
hi
s
lip
,
then
shoo
k
himsel
f
ou
t
o
f
i
t
again
.
“
A
fe
w
month
s
a
t
least.
”

“
A
fe
w
month
s
i
s
a
lon
g
tim
e
whe
n
you’r
e
feeling
desperate.
”

“It
’
s
nothing
.
Honestl
y
,
ignor
e
me
.
It
’
s
th
e
whiske
y
an
d
–”
“It
’
s
no
t
th
e
whiske
y
,
”
sai
d
Ruth
.
“It
’
s
to
o
eas
y
t
o
say
it
’
s
th
e
whiske
y
.
Mayb
e
Gina
’
s
acciden
t
ha
s
mad
e
yo
u
real
i
s
e
jus
t
ho
w
ba
d
you’v
e
been
.
Mayb
e
thi
s
ha
s
triggere
d
you t
o
tal
k
abou
t
i
t
a
t
last
.
Bu
t
don
’
t
blam
e
th
e
whiske
y
and,
i
f
I
wer
e
you
,
afte
r
tonigh
t
I’
d
la
y
of
f
i
t
fo
r
a
while
.
Drinking
help
s
num
b
th
e
pai
n
but
,
believ
e
me
,
i
t
doesn
’
t
provid
e
the
answers.
”