One Night Rodeo (38 page)

Josh gave him an odd look.

“What?”

“For a second, you reminded me of Marshall.”

Kyle didn’t know how to take that. He shrugged. “I don’t tolerate that kinda bullshit.” He stepped back and squinted at the corral. “Anything else you need a hand with before I take off?”

“Nah. Thanks for helping today. I appreciate it.”

“You’ve helped us plenty, so I’m happy to return the favor.”

Rather than dragging his piss-poor mood inside, he grabbed his gloves and headed for the woodshed. Chopping wood cleared his mind, worked his body, and was one thing he didn’t need to ask direction on.

Celia honked as she cut through the pasture on the ATV to do a round of cattle checks.

As soon as he’d chopped a few days’ worth of fuel, he stoked the wood burner. He climbed in the tractor and stacked three straw bales next to the gate where the heifers were penned. Then he scooped and packed more snow along the north side as an additional windbreak. By the time he finished it was full-on dark. He was starved and exhausted, but his night wasn’t close to over.

Kyle didn’t bother to shower. He’d be back out in the elements covered in manure and birth fluid before too long. He hung up his outerwear and settled in front of the TV with a beer and a box of Triscuits.

Celia returned a little more than an hour later. She wasn’t her usual chatty self, so Kyle should’ve suspected something was up. The cupboard door slammed. The refrigerator door slammed.

Yep, something was definitely up with her.

She stood in front of the TV. “So we’re not having supper tonight?”

“Why you askin’ me?”

“Because we’re supposed to share the household stuff. I thought maybe since you were inside first you would’ve started supper.”

Maybe since she’d been inside since after breakfast she could’ve planned
supper. Not that he could say that to her. Kyle held out the box of crackers. “I’ll share my supper with you.”

She glared at him. “Funny.”

“Suit yourself.”

“When was the last time you cooked supper?” she demanded.

“I don’t remember.” Kyle swigged his beer. “But I imagine you do. And I imagine you intend to remind me too.”

That comment earned him a half growl. Then she stomped away from the TV.

Good.

He heard her rattling pans in the kitchen. Any other day he’d have followed her, trying to coax her into a better mood by acting in the annoyingly charming manner she couldn’t resist. Tonight he let her stew. He didn’t budge when he caught a whiff of eggs and toast. Not even when his stomach growled.

After she ate, Celia sat in the recliner, but she wasn’t watching TV. She had a couple notebooks open, switching back and forth to write in them.

“What are you doin’?”

“Composing love letters,” she muttered. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I asked.”

She tapped the pen on the notebook. “I’m recopying my notes while they’re still fresh in my mind. Then I’ll put them in the spreadsheet on the computer.”

So she’d been on the computer all damn day. He drained the last of his beer. “I saw Abe’s truck drive past Josh’s place.”

“He and Hank stopped by.”

“Both of them? What did they want?”

Celia continued scribbling in her notebook. “Nothin’ really. They had to go to Rawlins on a diaper run and checked to see how we were doin’ during calving.”

Right. So they didn’t need to talk to him? Just Celia? Because obviously he didn’t know what the fuck he was doing.

“Why?” she asked.

“No reason. Just thought it was odd you didn’t mention that both your brothers showed up.”

“So I have to report everything to you now?”

Kyle’s eyes narrowed on her. That was a little defensive.

“It wasn’t a big thing,” she insisted. “And they didn’t stay long.”

“I’m not sorry I missed them. I’m sure they would’ve gotten a huge kick out of asking me specific questions just to see if I knew the proper rancher answer. So, yeah, sorry I missed that fun time.”

Her mouth dropped open. “What has gotten into you?”

“Nothin’.” He stood. “Forget it. I’ll deal with the livestock tonight. If you don’t think I’ll fuck it up too badly.”

“I don’t think that,” she said softly. “You don’t have to do it all yourself. We’re a team.”

“I want to do it all myself. It’s your chance to get some rest. Take it. ’Cause I guarantee I’ll be dog-tired and worthless for most of tomorrow. But like that’s different from any other day around here.”

Celia didn’t say a word as he dressed in his outerwear.

Just as Kyle opened the door, Celia said, “Wait.”

He paused.

“I don’t know what Josh, or my brothers, or anyone else has said to you to make you feel this way. I’ve been as supportive as I know how to be. And I’ve never tried to make you feel inadequate, because I know exactly how it feels when it’s been done to me. It’s not my fault you don’t have experience with this, Kyle.”

When Kyle turned around to apologize for being a dick, she’d already walked away.

His first five births went like clockwork. Easy delivery. Mama cleaned the calf immediately. The baby wobbled upright and began to suck. So he’d gotten a little cocky. He could do this. He’d even dozed off for half an hour.

Invigorated by his nap, he slipped into the cold, moonless night. The near stillness of the air at night was a welcome change from the harsh winter winds slapping him in the face earlier in the day. He ducked into the
heifer pen and saw one cow off in the corner away from the feed. As he got closer he noticed one side of her belly stuck out farther than the other. He snagged one of the ropes draped over the fence posts, fashioned a loop, and dropped it over her neck, all the while patting her and speaking to her in the soothing, encouraging tone he’d learned from Celia.

She lumbered along without protest. Didn’t kick up a fuss when he locked her down in the birthing equipment. She was straining to expel the calf, and if her lethargy was an indication, she’d probably been at it for a while.

Why hadn’t you noticed it?

Ignoring the gnawing feeling of guilt, he hobbled her back legs. Pinned her tail out of the way. He’d slipped on a glove and checked the position of the calf. It appeared to be right side up.

So he’d gone to the next step, trying to deliver the calf. He’d attached the chains below the calf’s dewclaws and had pulled the front legs free far enough out of the birth canal to see the head. Twice he’d gotten close; twice the calf had slid back inside.

Kyle’s body was bathed in sweat. He was out of breath. One person pulling a calf was a helluva lot of work. But every time he stopped to rest, he lost ground. So he didn’t stop.

His pride had kept him from running up to the house to wake Celia for help. He justified his decision by telling himself he needed to know how to handle this stuff on his own. And the only way to do that was by immersing himself in it.

And talk about immersed. This was one messy birth.

Three hours passed without any progress. He was exhausted. His muscles ached. And because he was tired and suffering from muscle and eyestrain, he didn’t notice that the chains had caused damage to the heifer’s birth canal until blood began pouring out of her back end. Kyle was forced to admit this type of birth was out of his level of experience. His hands were so slimy with fluid, blood, and shit that his cell phone slipped out of his hand three times before he got a decent enough grasp to call Fletch.

Luckily Fletch was close by. He didn’t offer advice besides to hang tight.
He also didn’t ask if Celia was around helping. He probably assumed she’d be by Kyle’s side, being as she was the one with experience, not him.

That was when Kyle understood the gravity of his mistake.

Half an hour later the barn door slammed open and Kyle glanced over to see Fletch stomping his feet. He carried a medical bag, official in his role as August Fletcher, DVM. But Kyle’s anxiety was high, knowing his friend would see firsthand how he’d fucked up.

Kyle noticed the dark crescents beneath Fletch’s eyes and saw that several days’ growth of whiskers dotted his windburned face.

Fletch pulled off the wool hat and shoved it in his pocket, shaking loose his long hair. “Show me whatcha got.”

“Back here.”

He stopped at the back end of the cow and used a penlight flashlight. Then he pulled on a rubber glove and inserted his arm; his harsh breathing echoed as he maneuvered his arm around inside the too-still heifer. After ditching the bloody glove, he stepped around to peer at the cow’s face. “Son of a bitch.”

“What?”

“There’s no saving her. She’ll be dead within the hour.”

“What about the calf?”

“It’s been dead a while. Give me the rundown on what happened.”

Kyle talked quickly, but tried to relay every minute detail until Fletch held up his hand.

He glanced around the barn. “Where’s Celia?”

“Sleeping. She’s had a long day so I’ve been dealing with the night issues.”

“So she didn’t assist with this at all?”

Kyle’s cheeks burned with shame and he shook his head.

Fletch swore. His dark hair fell across his face as he aimed his focus on the floor. He clenched his fists at his sides as if fighting for control.

In that moment, Kyle realized just how big Fletch was. At six foot five in his work boots, with enormous shoulders and chest, the man was a monster. A monster Kyle had always considered a gentle giant unless he was crushing opponents on the football field.

When Fletch finally looked up, his brown eyes were black and hard as stones. “We’ve been friends a long time, Gilchrist, so I ain’t gonna sugarcoat this.”

Kyle nodded.

“Your pride or stubbornness or whatever chip you’ve got on your goddamn shoulder about your inexperience as a rancher is what led to that animal dying. It’s your fault. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. That animal was in your care. Which means you suck it up and ask for help from someone who’s been through this type of birth before if you don’t have the first clue about what to do.

“I don’t give a flying fuck if you and Celia had a big fight before you came out here. When you saw this heifer was in distress? The very first thing you should’ve done was slammed a lid on your pride and ran up to the house to ask Celia for her help. We both know Celia would’ve hauled ass down here had she been aware of the seriousness of the situation. But you kept that from her. Why? I didn’t think you had a huge male ego that doesn’t allow you to admit to a woman that something is beyond your skill set. Jesus. Don’t ever exhaust yourself to the point your inexperience kills an innocent animal when you have the chance to save that animal.”

He had no response. He felt sick.

“You are a smart guy. You don’t have to figure this shit out by yourself. Don’t let the macho attitude that comes from being a professional bull rider permeate this part of your life. You don’t gotta be the toughest one on the dirt here.”

That stung.

“You are responsible for the lives of a couple hundred animals. The only person who expects you to know everything about this…is you. That’s an unreasonable burden to place on yourself. And here’s a news flash. Even if you live to be a hundred you’ll never know it all about ranching. Listen. Learn. Ask questions. Ask for help. And quit using your feelings of inadequacy against Celia. She is your wife. Be goddamn grateful she is your wife.”

“I am.”

“Good.”

“Although it’s too little too late.”

“For that animal. Not for the rest of them. I don’t envy you cleaning up this mess. And I’m gonna go against all my previous advice and suggest you don’t involve Celia in disposing of the carcass.” Fletch propped his hands on his hips and gave Kyle an arch look. “Any other questions while I’m here?”

Kyle’s initial response was to say nope, but he bit it back. “So as far as the cleanup…I just get the tractor through the big barn door and scoop the cow into the bucket?”

“That’d be easiest.”

“And then I dump it? Where? The ground is too hard in most places to dig a hole.”

Fletch ran his hand through his hair. “I suggest you dump it in the closest pasture the tractor can get to, that’s farthest from the herd.”

Kyle remembered from a conversation with Josh that it was important to control where the coyotes would find the carcass to try to keep the nasty scavengers from the nearly helpless calves. “Thanks for the advice.”

“Let’s get her out of the equipment.” Fletch pointed to the heifer, now dead.

Fletch left, leaving Kyle to deal with everything alone.

He loaded the cow without issue. Slow going on the ice, in the dark. Each bump and skid jarred the whole tractor with the heavy weight the front end carried. After he cleared the fourth gate, he found a spot by a steep incline. He lowered the bucket and rolled her out, over the fence into the ravine. Then he headed back. Two and a half hours had passed since he’d started the gruesome journey. One final check on the mamas close to the house, and the heifers again, and he closed it all down just as the very edges of the sky began to lighten.

The house was quiet. Kyle stripped where he stood and stumbled to the bathroom. Not even the sweet scent of Celia’s shampoo roused him from the feeling of despair as he washed away the grime.