One Reckless Summer (33 page)

The
most
surprising part, though, was that he’d meant
all
of it. Every single word.

Even if, deep down inside, he wasn’t sure about a lot of things. All this had happened so damn
quick
. He knew he loved her—that part wasn’t in question—but as he sat there beside his brother’s resting place, the rich dirt slowly beginning to settle beneath the flowers planted there, he couldn’t help asking himself: Was
Jenny
really ready for this? It was easy to forget sometimes that she’d just gotten divorced. As well as other things he’d come to know about her as they’d grown closer, too—like that Terrence had taken her virginity, and that made Mick only the second guy she’d ever had sex with.

In one way, that made him feel really special…and important. But in another way, he had to wonder: Was this one of those rebound things for her? Could a girl like Jenny really love
him
—Mick Brody—the way she
said,
the way she
thought
? Maybe it would all pass for her when the summer ended. Maybe he was just a Band-Aid on her heart right now.

But hell—what it came down to was that his worry didn’t really change anything. Because for the first time in his life, he’d fallen in love. And he suddenly understood what a strange affliction it was—it made him happy and sad at the same time. He wasn’t sure he liked suddenly feeling tied to someone—it was a little unsettling, and it was clearly going to make him do things he normally wouldn’t. Yet despite all that, he couldn’t imagine walking away.

So if Jenny wanted to stay here, he would try. And if Jenny wanted to love him, he would let her. She’d given him so much—he didn’t want to be without her now. Life would feel empty.

And maybe his life had been
kind of
empty before her, but to go back to that after having her would be, well…hard, plain and simple. And maybe he’d rather take a chance
here
than be without her
there
.

Besides, when he looked at his life in
Cincinnati
, what did he really have to go back to, besides a place that had grown familiar to
him.
He wasn’t the most open person in the world, so he didn’t have a lot of friends—a few guys he didn’t mind meeting for a beer or a ballgame, but that was about it. Jenny had people here, people who loved her, and it seemed selfish to try to tear her away from that.

So
,
for her
,
I’ll try. I’ll trust. I’ll…open myself. I’ll…be this guy I’ve never been before and don’t even know
how
to be—this goofy “in love” guy, this guy who takes care of his woman, this guy who gives more than he takes.
He found himself looking at the cross again as the words went through his mind. But that didn’t mean he was talking to dead people.

After that, he did what he’d told her—he started cleaning up crap that had been left behind and neglected for years. He wasn’t sure why it suddenly mattered to him since the place was going to be abandoned again soon, but maybe it had to do with
Wayne
’s grave. He just didn’t want a bunch of garbage around the place.

It was as he tossed a couple of trash bags into the bed of his truck that he heard something and looked up to see a police cruiser rambling up the road toward him.
A goddamn police cruiser
. Despite the heat of the day, his blood ran cold.

Son of a bitch.
Son. Of. A. Bitch.
What the fuck was
this
about?

His thoughts raced. Could he still go to jail for what he’d done? Was a fresh grave behind the old house of an escaped convict enough proof? Or—or would they do something awful like dig up
Wayne
’s body to find out for sure? And was it going to be Chief Tolliver in that car or someone else?

Years ago, his first instinct at the sight of a cop car was to run. But he couldn’t see that running right now would do much good—except to maybe make him look guilty of something. His heart hammered against his ribs, but he tried to take deep breaths and think how to deal with this.

Don’t lose your cool, man. Just stand your ground. Play this smart.
As smart as possible, anyway, under the circumstances. Shit, he wished Wayne’s grave were less fresh, or that he’d dug it deeper in the woods, not right in the family cemetery. But it had made sense—and the truth was, by the time he’d started digging, he’d pretty much come to believe no one was ever going to find him back here. How had they found him
now
? Had someone seen him coming and going across the lake the last few days in the daylight, damn it?

As the police car pulled up nose to nose with his truck, which he’d backed up toward the house, Mick just kept tossing garbage bags, like nothing was wrong. In his heart, nothing
was
wrong. He’d done nothing here
he
considered a crime. But as Jenny’s father stepped out of the car, Mick braced for the worst.

“Mick Brody,” Tolliver said, his very tone disdainful—and unsurprised.

Mick stopped what he was doing and tried to stand a little taller than normal, tried to look just a little intimidating. “Chief Tolliver,” he said in a similar timbre, not pretending he didn’t know the man.

“Brody, I’ll cut straight to it. I know what you’re doing here—I know the whole damn story.”

Shit.
Mick’s stomach sank. Still, he tried to act
tough,
crossing his arms across his chest, staring down his nose at the slightly smaller man—a gut reaction. “Yeah? What is it you think you know?”

Unfortunately, Tolliver didn’t look the least bit worried. In fact, he looked downright cocky. “That your brother escaped from prison and came here to die.”

Aw, Christ. Damn it to hell.
Mick held his tongue—for perhaps a second too long—before saying, “Have a look around—you won’t find anyone but me.”

“I know that,” the police chief shot back. “I know he died a few days ago. I know all about you and my daughter, too.”

Mick said nothing in response to
that,
only shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Mainly because he was stunned. To the point of being light-headed—all the blood had drained from his brain. It was one thing for Tolliver to have somehow figured out about
Wayne
, but another to know Mick had been messing around with Jenny. Again, he thought of rowing across the lake in daylight—but the man knew a lot more than he could’ve figured out just from seeing Mick in a boat.

Tolliver went on, raising his voice. “Now listen to me, Brody, and listen damn
good
. I let
all this
slide—I let you stay out here harboring a wanted man, I gave you time to let him meet his maker. And I’m
still
gonna let it slide, even against my better judgment. But now it’s time you clear out and not come back. Time for you to stay the hell away from my daughter, once and for all.”

Mick took it all in, the threat, the knowledge Tolliver had, the surprising fact that he had indeed waited until now to come out here. But he couldn’t quite wrap his mind around it all—it was a little too much when he hadn’t been expecting it. There was mainly one thing he wanted to know. “You mind if I ask just how you got your
information?
”

“Jenny told me,” Tolliver said.

And Mick’s heart lurched in his chest as his stomach went hollow. He realized he’d started shaking his head. “No,” he said simply. “She wouldn’t do that.”

“She
did.
How else would I know?”

God damn. Now Mick’s heart physically
hurt,
felt like it was imploding upon itself. Could Tolliver be telling the truth? Mick couldn’t believe it, but…shit, what he’d said made sense. How else
would
he know?

Mick sucked in his breath as anger slowly began to gather inside him, replacing the shock there. “How long?” he bit off. “How long have you known about this?”

“’Bout since the Fourth of July,” Tolliver said. “You got any other questions? ’Cause if you don’t, you best get
packin
’. I want you out of town by the end of the day, and I don’t want to see your face here again—ever. Am I
makin
’ myself clear?”

Mick met the man’s gaze through angry eyes. “
Crystal
.”

He stood in the same place without moving until Jenny’s father got back in his car, turned it around between some trees, and drove back down the rutty road, leaving a pale cloud of dirt to float behind the cruiser as he got farther away. He held on to the side of the truck as he tried to wrap his head around what had just happened.

Jenny had
told
her father? About him and Wayne? Being here? She’d told him
weeks
ago? Fucking
weeks
? He didn’t
want
to believe it, but Tolliver had known too much, been too sure, too downright confident.

He’d
trusted
her. He’d
fucking
believed
in her. In everything
about
her. He’d thought she was…
perfect.
Perfect enough to trust, perfect enough to love. And even if he’d had some worries over her flying into this fresh on the heels of her divorce—
Jesus, that
was a hell of a lot different than her willingly betraying him!

It didn’t even really matter
why
Jenny had told her dad—guilt or being a daddy’s girl or whatever half-ass reason, she’d put him at
risk.
Him
and
Wayne. She’d risked his freedom. She’d risked
Wayne
’s prospect of having a peaceful death, free of steel bars and strangers. She’d risked every-fucking-thing that had mattered to him this summer.

And she’d never breathed a word about it.

If she’d told her father out of guilt—hell, couldn’t she have at least
warned
Mick? Made him aware? Given him a chance to decide what to do, consider if he and Wayne should try to leave, or hide?
Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

God
damn
her!

God damn her for fucking with his life.

God damn her for…fucking with his heart.

But hadn’t he just been telling himself the hard truth he’d not quite wanted to believe? That Jenny couldn’t love him
that
much,
enough,
so soon after her divorce? Hadn’t he just been running all those doubts through his mind—how fast this had happened, how unsure he was about things. Shit—apparently he should have listened to himself. Apparently he’d had a lot more to worry about than Jenny being ready for a new relationship. But the not-loving-him-enough part—hell, he’d hit that one right on the nose.

When did you get so weak, Brody? So weak that you actually thought you could depend on somebody, open yourself up like this?
It was because of
Wayne
, he knew—because watching his brother
deteriorate
had been the hardest thing he’d ever endured.

Only, at first, he’d
realized
what was happening—he’d understood that he went to her for comfort, that he wasn’t as strong as usual right now. He’d understood the logic behind it.

It was after
that
when he’d messed up. It was when he’d been stupid enough to let himself fall for perfect Jenny Tolliver—who, it turned out, wasn’t so perfect after all.

This is the way the world ends—not with a bang but a whimper.

T.S. Eliot

J
enny didn’t worry when she got back from her lunch with Sue Ann, Tessa, and Amy to find that Mick wasn’t there yet. It was still early in the day, after all. But she couldn’t wait to see him. To tell him that, after Amy and Tessa had left the café to head back to the bookstore, she’d arranged for Sue Ann to show him the house tomorrow. To also tell him that, according to Sue Ann, Bright Homes, in Crestview, had been contracted to build the first section of houses in the new development, so now she knew who Mick could call about getting hired on. Things were coming together—and she just
knew
Mick could be happy here, that they
both
could,
together
.

And it had
been,
well…just plain
fun
to fill Sue Ann in on the latest. Okay, not so much about
Wayne
’s death and funeral, but about the
I
love
you
s
that had followed and the talks about staying together.

“He loves you?” Sue Ann had gasped, gaping at her across the little round table at Dolly’s. The smothering heat they’d suffered most of the summer had, unfortunately, started to set back in today, so they’d eaten inside rather than on the patio, but that didn’t encourage Sue Ann to keep her voice down until Jenny kicked her under the table.

Yet then she’d smiled and said, “Yes, he loves me, loves me, loves me.”

Sue Ann had just sat there shaking her head in amazement. “Wow, Jen, do you know what this means? You’re like…a lion tamer or something. You tamed the beast in big, bad Mick Brody.”

Jenny couldn’t resist playfully rolling her eyes upward and saying, “Well, not
too
much, I hope.”

“So, you really think he’ll stay? And you really think people will accept him?”

“Yes and yes.” Then she’d pointed at Sue Ann across the table. “And
you
have to help me. You have to defend him when people say bad things. You have to remind them that people can change. You have to help him fit in.”

Sue Ann bit her lip. “I can defend him and all that, but…forgive me for saying I have a hard time envisioning him, say, playing golf with Jeff or your dad.”

“Maybe not, and my dad is going to be a
superhard
sell on this, but he can fit in other ways. He can go fishing with my dad. He can grill out with us.”

“And you have no more doubts about him? You really think he’s changed, deep down—that his past doesn’t matter, that there’s nothing to fear here?”

“I trust in that so completely, Sue Ann. I know it in my heart.”

After that, Sue Ann had leaned forward slightly and smiled her best-friends-forever smile to say, “I’m truly happy for you, Jen. You deserve this—a guy who’s really crazy about you.
And
who rocks your world in bed.”

Just then, Mabel, a waitress who was seventy-five if she was a day, shot her head around, her eyes going as wide as the plates she carried.

“Keep it down, would
ya
?” Jenny grumbled.

But Sue Ann just shrugged it off. “Listen, from the way you’ve described him, once people get a look at him, they’re gonna
know
he’s rocking your world in bed—so, just FYI, you’re gonna have to get used to people looking at you in a whole new way around here.”

At first, that had caught Jenny off guard, brought up old feelings of worry and guilt—but then she’d just smiled and said, “So be it. And it’s about time.”

Jenny still didn’t worry when the dinner hour came and Mick still wasn’t there. He probably had a lot to do, and it had probably involved running errands to Crestview or beyond, given that he didn’t feel he could shop for anything or even fill up on gas in Destiny. That would change soon—he’d keep getting more comfortable with the idea—but for now, even simple things probably took him a lot longer based on proximity alone.

So she grilled some hamburgers, hoping he’d show up while she was cooking, and then, later, she hoped he’d show up while she was eating. She kept his warm for a while, but then gave up on that and decided she could reheat it all in the microwave whenever he finally arrived.

Jenny still tried not to worry when darkness fell. She had no idea what was keeping him so busy, but whatever it was, maybe he just wanted to get it all done so he wouldn’t need to go back over to the cabin anymore.

Yet as the hour grew later, as she changed into pajamas and watched a little TV to try to distract herself, she began to wonder where on earth he could be. What if…he’d had some sort of accident, on the road or otherwise? After all, despite his old reputation, Mick had proven to be pretty dependable in the time she’d known him.

It would be silly to go over there looking for him.
Because there was surely some logical explanation. And what if she went canoeing across the lake and he showed up here in his truck? And while she was certainly no stranger to sneaking around his property by
herself
, she’d seldom gone over in the pitch-black darkness, and it suddenly sounded a little dangerous to her, especially given that there was no moon tonight, or stars, either, due to a hazy cloud cover she’d noticed at dusk when she’d been outside grilling. It was a truly dark night in Destiny, and it just seemed smarter to stay put and wait for him.

She thought about calling Sue Ann but decided against it. After all, what could her friend do but listen to her worries—and it was late, and Sue Ann had work tomorrow morning. And if she just went up to bed and fell asleep, surely she’d wake up soon to find him quietly coming in to lay down beside her and tell her where he’d been all day.

Of course, she couldn’t sleep. She kept listening. For anything.

But he never came. The whole damn night passed, full of tossing and turning, and Mick never showed up.

By morning, Jenny felt sick. What did this mean? What if he really was hurt somewhere?

She didn’t feel like eating, so she bypassed breakfast, dressed in a tank top and khakis, and set out in the canoe. Her heart was in her throat the whole time she paddled, the whole while watching the shore for anything odd—but finding nothing.

When she reached the other side, Mick’s rowboat rested on the sand, exactly where it should be. Okay, so he hadn’t drowned in the lake—that was a good sign.

As she trudged up the steep hill to the house, she kept her eyes peeled, but didn’t see anything unusual. Although his truck was gone—so he
had
left, and so far, hadn’t come back. She took a deep breath.
Where are you
,
Mick? Where
are
you?

God, it was hot—already, and it wasn’t even
8:00
A.M
.
The brutal heat was back full
force, that
was for sure. And starting to sweat this early was doing nothing to help her mood.

Approaching the cabin, she peered through the window. Nothing looked especially different—except that the air mattress was gone. And she began to notice some changes outside the house, too. It was tidier—he’d picked up debris she’d noticed before—in particular, a rusted bicycle and some old, equally rusty clothesline poles.

And then she realized what else was missing outside. The generator. Mick had brought it with him rather than have the electricity turned back on, not wanting to create a trail to him and Wayne. He’d explained that he’d used it primarily during the day and turned it off most nights so as not to exceed its capacity. He’d also told her just a couple of days ago that he planned to leave it here for a while—since it belonged to him and he didn’t particularly have anyplace to take it right now. And it was gone. Gone.

And somehow, she knew in her heart that it meant
he
was gone, too.

Gone from Destiny.

Gone from her life—just like she’d dreaded all summer.
Oh God.

And sure, there could be some logical explanation for all this…but there wasn’t. There just wasn’t.

Except for one. He’d left her. Just like her mom. Just like Terrence. Just like the people she loved always did.

Jenny lay on the couch, hugging a pillow and trying not to cry. She
hated
crying—she hated everything about it. But she couldn’t seem to stop. Crying made her feel so weak, so girlish, so…“good Jenny.” She’d cried and cried when her mom had died, and she’d cried some more when Snowball had
died,
and she
hadn’t
cried too terribly much over Terrence, thank God, but now she was crying her eyes out over Mick Brody.

Sue Ann sat in a chair across the room, eating ice cream and looking helpless. She’d brought the ice cream—strawberry cheesecake flavor—for Jenny, but Jenny had waved it off, still not in the mood to eat.

“I
hate
this,” Jenny said through her tears. “I hate crying over him.”

Sue Ann licked her spoon,
then
pursed her lips. “Well, Jen, you love the guy. It’s natural to cry. Don’t beat yourself up for it.”

Jenny tried to swallow back her tears anyway. “Well then, maybe I hate that I was stupid enough to believe in him. My dad thought he was no good, and you thought the situation was scary, but did I listen? No.”

“At least it’s not worse. Since I guess it turns out that he’s
not
scary—he’s just a big fat jerk instead.”

Jenny sniffed. “It still hurts just as bad. Why did I ever let this turn into more than just sex?”

“I’m not sure you had a choice—seemed like it was out of your control.” Then Sue Ann tilted her head. “But at least…well, he brought a lot of happiness into your life at a time when you needed it. So it’s like they say—it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

Jenny sat up and flashed Sue Ann a disparaging look. “Spoken like someone who’s never loved and lost.”

Sue Ann shrugged. “Guilty. But isn’t it true? I mean, at least you know the wonder of it, the passion, the hunger, the sweetness—all that stuff. Would you really be happier if you didn’t know it?”

Jenny sighed in reply. “Well, that’s the really annoying thing about love. I probably
would
be happier if I didn’t know it, but once you
do
know it, once you feel those things for someone, you can’t make yourself really wish it away. It’s like wishing away…your soul.”

“I have a suggestion,” Sue Ann said through a mouthful of ice cream.

Jenny sucked in her breath, nervous. “And what might that be?”

“Adam Becker.”

For a moment, Jenny actually considered it. Not that she wanted to fly into yet another relationship—that was the last thing she wanted. But it sounded so smart—Adam was a good guy, and he’d fit into her life so well, and her father would be so happy. And Adam would never just pack up his truck and drive away without a word. But finally she said, “I can’t do it.”

“Why not?”

“I’m in love with Mick.”

Sue Ann leaned forward in her chair. “Have you not heard of rebound sex? In fact, in the beginning, wasn’t
Mick
rebound sex?”

Jenny just shook her head. “Wouldn’t be as good.”

“How do you know?”

She had no doubts. “I just know. With Mick, things were…primal, animalistic. I don’t feel like an animal when I think of Adam.”

“Really? Because in case you failed to notice, he’s pretty hot. What on earth
do
you feel like when you think of Adam?”

Jenny looked inside herself and replied, “Like a good Destiny girl who would only be going out with him because she wants to please everyone.”

Sue Ann frowned. “Oh.”

“And like that woman who Terrence thought couldn’t be wild in bed. You can only be wild in bed—”

“Or the woods, or the kitchen,” Sue Ann cut in.

“When you’re inspired,” Jenny finished. “And Adam Becker, hot as he may be, just doesn’t inspire me anymore.”

“Hmm, so what have we learned here?” Sue Ann mused. “We’ve learned that you are inspired to have wild sex with…hot, scary guys with tattoos.” Then her eyebrows shot up and she pointed her spoon at Jenny. “Hey, maybe we could start hanging out at the
jail,
see what we could turn up for you.”

At this, Jenny couldn’t help smiling. “That’s very funny.” But then she felt glum again, that quickly. “Except that…like I’ve told you before, somewhere along the way Mick quit being scary.”

“Okay, hot guys with tattoos, minus the scary. Hmm—I wonder if Mike
Romo
has any tattoos. He’s kind of mean and rigid, but not scary. Well, either way, I’m sure we could find guys like that somewhere.”

“Except for a couple of problems.”

“Problem number one?”

“If I keep having rebound sex every time I get dumped, I’ll turn into a slut.”

Sue Ann shrugged and took a bite of ice cream. “There are worse things in life. Problem
number
two?”

“The idea of being touched by anyone other than Mick makes my skin crawl.”

Across the room, Sue Ann only sighed,
then
held up the ice cream container. “You really should try this stuff—it’s delicious, and it might help.”

“Gaining five pounds will not help.”