One Size Fits All (The Classy ‘n’ Sassy Series Book 3) (4 page)

CHAPTER
Four

P
enny headed
to work the next day, still on a high from her date, or nondate, whatever that was the night before with Theo. She couldn’t stop thinking about him and felt like a tween girl with her first crush, needing to know everything about him.

“Morning!” Bryn said as she breezed past Penny at the front desk, an armload of Halloween decorations. “What do you think?” She held up a glittery spider with bright green fangs.

“It’s cute, but Mia might not like it.”

“Eh,” she said with a wave of her hand. “She’s such a fuddy-duddy sometimes.”

Bryn opened packages and set things on the counter. Miscellaneous wall hangings, bags of fake spiderwebs, a string of skull lights.

“So, I kind of had a date last night.” Penny was dying to tell someone.

The mini skulls dropped from Bryn’s hands and she spun around. “Really? With who?”

“Theo . . . I mean Thor.”

“Really? I knew you guys would be good together! But what’s with Theo?” There was playful sparkle in her eyes.

“I . . . well . . . it felt weird to call him Thor. I don’t know. He said I could call him whatever I wanted.”

“I like it. It’ll sound better than Thor when you’re screaming his name in bed.” She went back to her decorations and lights.

But Penny needed more out of Bryn. “So, what was he like when you were kids?”

She turned back around and leaned against the counter. “He was kinda shy, but once we hit high school he realized how hot he was.”

Penny didn’t know if she liked where this was heading. “Yeah?”

“He fooled around with half the female population at Kenville High, and got blow jobs from the rest.” She must have noticed Penny’s shock. “But don’t worry. It was a small school. And Mia and I never fooled around with him. To us he was a big, cuddly teddy bear. With muscles.”

That was good. If he was a man-slut in his teen years, at least he hadn’t done anything with her friends. “We made plans to get together again.”

Bryn smiled, a genuine smile, not the sly one she used when she was being silly or sassy. “I’m really happy for you. You deserve to find someone who treats you good, after that asshole ex. And I know Thor is a good man.”

“He seems like it. I think we’re going to get together and watch a DVD.”

And then the sassy grin appeared. “Date number two will be in a private location?”

“It’s not going to be like that.”

“Why not? When was the last time you had good sex?”

Penny took a minute to think, staring off into space.

“If you can’t remember, then obviously it was a long, long time ago, if ever.”

“I’ve had good sex. With Jack.”

“Good how? Did you black out? Did you come so hard you almost screamed your own name? Were you chaffed the next day or unable to stand up straight? If you can’t answer yes to at least one of those, you didn’t have good sex.”

“Seriously? You’ve experienced all of that?”

“Many times.”

Well, geez. There was no way she was admitting that her good orgasms only came when she used her vibrator. She especially would never tell Bryn that Jack had refused to do anything other than missionary. And if she mentioned the fact that she’d never had sex anywhere but a bed, Bryn might faint from shock. She’d keep that all to herself.

Maybe Penny needed to get laid. And maybe Theo could be the one to give her a great sex memory.

Bryn shoved a
His N’ Her
Pleasure condom into Penny’s hand along with some flavored lube samples. “I expect a full report.”

Penny couldn’t help but smile as she tucked the items into her purse. She seriously had the best boss in the world.

---------

THOR SLURPED
up the last strands of spaghetti and set his bowl on the coffee table. Blitz, his pit bull, didn’t even sniff it before slapping his tongue inside. Thor wasn’t much of a cook, so one of his dinner staples was pasta and sauce from a jar. At least he bought the good stuff. His canine companion seemed to enjoy it, too.

Aside from the occasional beer and chicken wings with Seth, last night had been the first time in a long time that he hadn’t eaten dinner alone. And it’d felt nice. What he’d done just now—scarfing food in front of the TV—was a typical evening at home. And he was getting sick of it.

He’d had fun with Penny. The meal had been more than just satisfying their hunger. They talked. They laughed. It was what life should be. Never before had he given much thought to settling down and getting married. He figured if it was meant to happen, it would.

Maybe it was jumping the gun—a lot—but he felt closer than he ever had last night with Penny.

He pulled out his cell phone and scrolled for her number. Should he call her? What if she was busy? He didn’t want to bother her. He could text her. Was that lame? He knew there were rules for dating, but the hell if he knew what they were.

But he figured texting was a safe bet. Even though he hated texting. His fingers were just too damn big for the tiny keyboard on his phone.

Hey hows itgoing? I had fun las niht

He hit send but felt stupid when he reread his words.
I had fun last night?
And it was typed all wrong. He looked and sounded like a complete moron.

When his phone dinged, terrified anticipation soared through his body.

I had fun too :)

She even put a smiley thing at the end. Why did that make him grin like an idiot?

Another text came in from her.

What’s going on? I’m being a bum. On the couch with trashy reality TV letting my dog lick the remnants in my ice cream dish.

The vision sounded way more sexy than bummy to him.

Cool. Funny thig is thatmy dog is doin exact sme thing bt spag sauce insted

LOL That is funny!

Another came in barely a second later. Damn, she was fast.

Wanna talk instead of text?

Hell yes

He dialed her number and she answered after one ring. “Thanks for calling. I don’t mind texting for quick stuff, but if I’m going to have a conversation with someone, I’d rather hear their voice.”

She wanted to have a conversation. This was good.

“So, you have a dog? What breed?”

“He’s a pit bull named Blitz. But he’s the sweetest dog ever. I rescued him when he was a puppy. He’s been through all kinds of training and he’s basically as tame as a lap dog.”

She laughed. “Well, I have a lapdog and she’s the furthest thing from calm or tame. Her name is Scarlett and she’s as feisty and bullheaded as her namesake.”

“Her namesake?”

“Scarlett O’Hara.
Gone With the Wind?
Have you ever read it?”

Reading was definitely not something he’d done much of in his life. In school he was basically a do-what-you-have-to-do student, nothing more than what had been required. “I haven’t. But there’s a movie, right?”

More laughter. He liked hearing it. A lot. “Yes. We’ll have to watch it someday. And speaking of movies, I’m totally craving
Goonies,
a pint of rocky road ice cream, and a Baby Ruth. You game?”

They did talk about it last night, but was that really what he wanted to do for their first official date? He could do better than that. “I was thinking of something else. I know the chef at Russell’s. He was our wide receiver in high school. I might even be able to get us at his chef’s table in the kitchen.”

“Really? That sounds so cool.”

“It is. I did it once. With my mom. He said I can come whenever I want.”

“And you haven’t taken anyone else?”

The question kind of took him by surprise. Shit. Did he sound like a loser? “Uh. No. I never really had anyone to take. It’s a nice place and I guess I haven’t really dated anyone seriously.” Damn it. That was even worse. “That came out wrong. I don’t think we’re dating seriously. We just met. Officially. I meant that I never dated anyone before where I wanted to take them out on a real date.”

He slapped his hand across his eyes, sure he was fucking this up. But amused giggles danced through his earpiece and made him think otherwise.

“I get what you mean. I think it’s sweet you took your mom there. She must be really special to you.”

“She was. I miss her like crazy. I can’t believe she’s been gone over a year already.” Had he really just spilled his feelings like that? But with Penny, it felt natural.

“I’m so sorry,” she said. “That had to be awful.”

“It was. My mom was everything. She’s the only parent I had and she was way too great of a lady to die so young. I wish I would’ve been able to take better care of her. It was always my plan, but sometimes plans change.” He shouldn’t have said that. He wasn’t going to whine to her about his fuck-ups. “So, do you want to do the chef’s table thing?”

“Yes. How about Friday? I have the late shift on Saturday, so I don’t have to be up early.”

“I can’t. I have practice after school, and after that I head over to The Red Brick.”

“You’re a busy guy.”

“Actually, all my weekends are like that. I work the bar Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights, sometimes other nights, too. Then add in all my football stuff.”

“Then you tell me. Is there a night that works for you? I’ll make it work for me. If I have the late shift at the shop, I’m sure Mia and Bryn will let me switch, especially if they know who I’m going out with.”

“Sunday is my one complete day off.”

“It’s a date then.”

It was settled. His first official real date with Penny was on Sunday.

They continued to talk and it was good. One of those conversations that just flowed. And when it hit midnight, and he knew 6 a.m. would come real fast, he still couldn’t hang up. He’d never felt so at ease with a woman. He was excited to see where things went with her.

---------

PENNY LAY
in her bed, lights out, after hanging up with Theo. It was almost one in the morning. It had been a long time since she’d talked with someone for hours. Had she ever even done that with Jack? She sure couldn’t remember.

She should be tired, but she was more awake than ever. Her body hummed with excitement, and even though their conversation had never turned sexual, thinking of him now, lying in his bed just as she was . . . wow. Her body practically vibrated with sensual energy. She reached into her nightstand drawer for her favorite toy: the vibrating Oliver dildo. Sometimes she felt really bad that she often used the toy that was an exact replica of her friend’s boyfriend’s junk, but oh well.

Penny flipped its switch and brought it under the covers. With Theo’s face behind her eyelids, it took no time at all to reach her peak. But instead of finding exhausted euphoria, like usual, she was energized. Wide-awake, get-up-and-do-stuff energized.

So she got out of bed, turned on her stereo—the volume low—and cleaned her apartment while dancing to Top 40 pop tunes. After dusting the living room, washing some dishes, and reorganizing the cabinet where she kept her canned goods and nonperishables, it was narrowing in on three. But she still wasn’t ready to sleep.

Noticing the mail on her kitchen table, she sat and opened it. A few advertisements, a sweepstakes entry. Typical stuff. And last, a bill. Her credit card bill. She knew that before opening it, but found something she never expected.

“How the fuck do I owe over fifteen thousand dollars?”

Penny’s head began to spin and she felt nauseated. Why was this happening? How? Had she really spent that much money since her last bill?

Wait. This is the first time she’d gotten this bill. Taking a closer look, she saw the previous month’s payment listed: $150. She hadn’t paid that. Jack must’ve paid the minimum payment instead of the full balance and then changed the address on the account so she’d now get the bill. Had he been doing it for a while and just not told her he’d stopped paying it in full? Had he been planning this all along? To let her get herself in crazy debt without even knowing?

That bastard! If he were standing there right now, she’d kick him in the balls.

But that wouldn’t change anything. This was her debt. It was her name on the account, all by itself. It was a dirty move, but she really shouldn’t be surprised.

Penny was already barely getting by, and the thought of a new bill made her head spin again. Maybe she should lie down. Go to sleep and forget this all happened.

But sleep wasn’t going to happen. All she did was lie there and freak out. She tossed and turned, convinced she and Scarlett were going to be on the street with no place to live, no place for all her bills to get delivered to.

At seven she got up. Good thing it was her day off—there’s no way she’d be able to function at the shop. But if she could see Mia today and talk to her, maybe she could help. She was good at money stuff. If she could come up with a solution, maybe Penny could finally get some sleep.

Too anxious to wait, she called. She knew Mia would be awake.

“Is everything okay?” she immediately asked.

“Yes. I couldn’t sleep.”

“Oh good. I was worried something was wrong. You never call me this early. What’s going on?”

“I’m having a money crisis and I don’t know what to do.” She explained the situation. “Can you help? Please?”

Mia sighed. “Unfortunately, since your name’s on the account, it’s your bill to pay.”

“I figured as much. How do I do that?”

“Do what the rest of us do. Cut corners until it’s paid off.”

“Fifteen grand is not a corner, it’s a freaking city block.”

“It won’t be easy, but look at it this way. It’ll feel good to accomplish something so huge.”

Of course Mia had to look at it practically. “Can you give me some ideas on how to do it?”

“Cut out little things, like ordering lunch. Make it at home and bring it instead. Stop going out to eat. Buy store brands instead of name brand. Wear drugstore makeup instead of the fancy stuff you like to buy.” She paused and let out a giggle. Penny failed to be amused by any of this. “And I’m sorry, ’cause I know this one will sting: stop buying every new vibrator we get in the shop.”