Read One Step at a Time Online
Authors: Beryl Matthews
‘Mother, I’d like you to meet Amy, Mrs Dalton, Ben, Howard and Ted.’
When Mrs Sterling smiled it was easy to see whom John took after. ‘I’m so glad you could all come. John has told us so much about you.’
‘It was kind of you to invite us.’ Mrs Dalton gazed round in approval. ‘You have done a marvellous job of the party.’
‘Thank you. We wanted all John’s friends to join us in our celebration.’ Fixing her gaze on Amy, she studied her carefully for a moment, then smiled. ‘I absolutely love the things John has bought me from your shop, Amy. You are very talented.’
‘Oh, Howard’s the clever one, I just paint the things.’ Feeling shy she thrust the parcel at her. ‘I did this for you.’
While Mrs Sterling opened the box, Amy edged closer to Ben, seeking protection from his towering form. Suppose Mrs Sterling didn’t like the present?
‘Oh, this is exquisite.’ John’s mother held up the
biscuit barrel, which was decorated in dark blue with vibrant pansies on the body and lid. ‘Look at this, Charles.’
The man who had just joined them smiled at his wife’s pleasure. ‘That’s lovely, Mildred.’
‘I must give this pride of place on the sideboard.’ She kissed Amy on the cheek. ‘This is very thoughtful of you. Thank you very much.’
Amy’s relief was great as she watched John’s mother go into the house, and she just stood there with a wide smile on her face, not saying a word.
‘Now, let me see.’ John’s father gave them his full attention. ‘Don’t introduce yourselves. Let me see if I can get your names right.’ He turned to Ben first. ‘You must be Benjamin, the artist who painted that wonderful picture of our house.’
Ben inclined his head. ‘I’m pleased you like it.’
‘We most certainly do, and it has been much admired.’ Mr Sterling eyed Ben with interest. ‘You are a fine artist, young man. I would like to see more of your work, so we must have a talk before you leave.’ He looked then at Howard. ‘And you must be the sculptor. I’d like to come and see some of your work as well.’
‘You’d be welcome any time, sir.’
‘And you must be Mrs Dalton who has made our son so welcome in your home, and Ted who owns the bookshop.’
Ted nodded. ‘You seem to know all about us.’
‘We do. John has told us what a fascinating shop
you have. He said he could spend hours in there browsing the shelves, if he only had the time.’ He indicated where the food and drink was. ‘We are delighted you could come. Please enjoy yourselves.’
Ben and Howard were the first at the food, as usual. Not being interested in anything to eat just yet, although it all looked delicious, Amy studied the other guests. They were all smart, dressed in the height of fashion, and she was glad Mrs Dalton had made her buy a new frock and shoes. Her frock was green, to bring out the colour of her eyes (Mrs Dalton had insisted), and the shoes were black suede with a silver buckle on the front. To finish things off she was wearing her first pair of silk stockings.
‘Come and dance with me, Amy.’
‘Oh, I can’t dance.’
John held out his hand. ‘It’s easy. I’ll show you.’
Casting a quick glance at the other couples moving to the music on a large paved area just in front of the house, she hesitated. ‘I’ll tread on your toes.’
‘No you won’t.’ John smiled. ‘And even if you do I won’t feel it. You’re not very heavy, are you?’
Deciding that if he was willing to risk it she might as well try, she placed her hand in his and allowed him to take her over to the dancers.
‘Just relax,’ he told her when she stood stiffly in his arms. ‘I’ll lead you.’
After a couple of minutes she began to feel rather pleased with herself: she was quite enjoying it, and only stepped on his feet about four times. The waltz was
quite easy, but the quickstep was more than she could cope with.
As the evening wore on she felt more and more at ease. Everyone was happy, and she really liked John’s parents. They were proud of their son, and rightly so. She even danced with his father,
twice
.
It was past midnight when they thanked Mr and Mrs Sterling and headed home. It was quite a long drive, but well worth it to have attended John’s party.
A week later, on Sunday afternoon, John and his parents arrived. Amy was working with Howard amidst their usual mess when they walked into the workshop.
‘No, don’t stand up, Amy.’ Mrs Sterling made her sit down again after she’d leapt to her feet. ‘We don’t want to disturb you.’
Amy felt she should shake hands with them, but after glancing at her paint-smeared palms, decided against it.
‘My mother and father just want to have a look round.’ John stood beside Amy. ‘It’s a lovely day out there; let’s go for a ride. Though I bet you haven’t even looked.’
‘Well, we have been rather busy.’ She saw Oscar decide that there were far too many people for his liking, and he shot out of the door. The cat followed her around all the time, and would sit for ages just watching her working.
‘Wash the paint off and I’ll take you to Richmond
Park. The trees are glorious in their autumn colours.’
The chance to spend some time with him was too good to turn down, and she might get some ideas for new decorations. ‘All right. Give me time to change.’
It only took her fifteen minutes and then they were on their way. Although there was a nip in the air, the sun still had a little warmth in it, and it seemed no time at all before they were turning in the park gates. The place was a glorious riot of gold, orange and brown. The leaves were falling in the slight breeze and settling in a multi-coloured carpet on the green grass.
Amy was busy picking up leaves to take home with her so she could copy them for her vases. ‘This is lovely.’ She straightened up, holding out a large leaf. John was standing and watching her with a slight smile on his face. His expression made her wonder what he was thinking. ‘What?’
‘Come and sit down, Amy, I want to talk to you.’ He reached out for her and guided her over to a seat.
She waited patiently, still holding the leaves she had gathered.
‘I’ve been so busy studying that I haven’t had time to see you as much as I would have liked. But now I’ve qualified I want you to know how I feel. You know I’ve become very fond of you, don’t you?’
‘I like you too.’
‘I want more than liking, Amy.’
‘Sorry?’ She traced the outline of a leaf with her
finger, her heart racing. Then she looked up, trying to hide her worry at the way this conversation was going.
‘I love you, Amy.’ When she didn’t say anything, he continued. ‘I know you won’t be nineteen until December, and you’ll probably feel you are too young to commit yourself, but I need you to know that I’m serious about you.’
Her hands began to tremble and she had to be careful not to crush the leaves. Why that worried her was a mystery – there were plenty more on the ground – but it was hard to think straight. In one way she was overjoyed to hear him say these things, but she wasn’t being fair to him. The last thing she wanted was to hurt him. Ben had said she should tell him…
‘What’s the matter, Amy, don’t you care for me?’
‘Oh, yes, I do, very much.’ Her eyes fixed on his face, knowing she had to tell him. Being sure that he would not want to see her again was like a physical pain. He was too precious to her though, and she couldn’t deceive him.
‘Then what’s the problem?’ He placed his hand over hers. ‘Talk to me, Amy.’
She gulped, trying to gather her courage, and then blurted it out. ‘There are some things you don’t know about me. My father was hanged for murder. He killed a man who was trying to rob him…’ She tailed off, unable to continue.
He brought her hand to his lips, his eyes full of compassion. ‘That must have been terrible for you,
but I don’t give a damn. It’s you I love, and nothing will ever make me change my mind about that.’
‘Don’t be too sure, John.’ She held on tight to him, dreading the next bit. ‘There’s something wrong with me and I can’t read or write very well… I’m not stupid!’ she added with some force.
When he didn’t speak, she took a quick look at his face. He didn’t look appalled, and that was what she had expected.
‘And you think that would make any difference to me?’
She nodded.
Putting his hands on her shoulders, he turned her to face him. ‘Now you listen to me, Amy Carter. I’ve fallen for a girl with large green eyes, unruly dark hair and a wide smile; a girl who paints beautiful pots and views the world with innocent enjoyment. I don’t care about your family, where you come from or the fact that you have difficulty reading.’ He gave her a gentle shake. ‘It doesn’t matter to me.’
She could hardly believe what she was hearing, but he spoke with such conviction it was impossible to doubt his sincerity. ‘I was frightened to tell you,’ she whispered, ‘but Ben said I should.’
‘And he was right.’ He kissed her firmly, and then held her away so he could look at her. ‘Thank you for telling me, I know it must have taken a lot of courage.’
‘You’re so clever I thought you’d laugh at me.’
‘Not a chance, my beautiful girl.’ Slipping his arm
around her shoulders he pulled her close. ‘Will you tell me when you realized you had trouble reading?’
‘Is this the doctor talking?’ She was feeling rather light-headed at the moment, and thought she could chance a little joke.
‘Of course. This is a free consultation.’
Settling her head on his shoulder, she told him the whole story, surprising herself at just how easy it was to talk about now. Of course that was because of Mrs Dalton, Ted and the boys. Their kindness and understanding had made her more confident and not quite so ashamed as she used to be. She had been afraid to tell John because she hadn’t wanted to lose him.
When she finished, he shook his head. ‘It’s been very hard for you, hasn’t it? I don’t know what has caused this in you, but I’ll make some enquiries and see if anyone in the medical professions knows.’
‘I don’t suppose they do.’ She smiled up at him. ‘Mrs Dalton taking me in was the best thing that ever happened to me. They’ve all helped me very much.’
‘And now you’ve got me as well.’ He kissed the end of her nose playfully. ‘So, do you love me?’
‘Oh, yes, I think I do.’ She sighed as all the worry and tension left her.
23
By the time April 1939 arrived, Amy could no longer ignore the talk of war. It was the only thing to mar her happiness. The threat was in all the newspapers, the cinema newsreels and on the wireless. Production of armaments was increasing, and it was clear that the country was preparing for the worst. Young children had even been fitted with gas masks.
They were listening to the wireless one evening when it was announced that conscription was to be brought in for twenty- to twenty-one-year-old men.
Amy gazed at Ben, Howard and John as they sat around the kitchen table, their expressions serious. Relief was her immediate reaction to the news. She knew Ben and Howard were twenty-five, and John a year younger.
‘None of you will have to go.’ She smiled rather shakily, terrified for the men she loved so much.
‘Not yet.’ Ben stood up and began to pace the floor. ‘But this is just the start.’
‘If we do go to war, then I shall join up straight away.’ Howard looked his usual calm self, but his mouth was set in a determined line. ‘There won’t be any point waiting because they’ll have us all in the end.’
‘I’ll do the same.’ Ben stopped his pacing and leant against the sink. ‘What about you, John? They’re going to be crying out for doctors.’
‘Oh, you won’t have to go into the forces, will you?’ Now Amy was really alarmed.
‘I’ll be needed at the hospital, I expect, so they might not call me up.’ John squeezed her hand. ‘But we’ll have to wait and see what happens.’
Ted and Mrs Dalton came into the kitchen.
‘I can see from your faces that you’ve heard the news.’ Ted looked in the teapot and, finding it almost full, poured two cups as Mrs Dalton sat down as well.
‘Ben and Howard say they will join up if war comes.’ Amy chewed her lip with worry. ‘What will we do about the shop?’
‘We’ll have to close it.’ Ben gave her an apologetic pat on the shoulder. ‘I’m sorry, but there won’t be much call for luxury goods like ours.’
‘I think you are all jumping ahead too far,’ Mrs Dalton told them. ‘It might not come to anything, and I’m a great believer in not crossing your bridges until you come to them.’
‘The voice of reason.’ Ted grinned. ‘But she’s quite right.’
‘Of course she is.’ Amy gave Mrs Dalton a grateful smile. ‘One step at a time, eh?’
The tension broke as they all laughed at Amy’s use of one of Mrs Dalton’s favourite sayings.
*
Two weeks later John had some time off so he took Amy to Brighton for the day. The weather was perfect: blue skies, a soft breeze, with the sun giving enough warmth to hint at the summer to come. They walked hand in hand along the pier, silent, content in each other’s company. It was often like this with them; they didn’t need constant talk – a smile now and again was enough. Amy loved this quietness about John. In fact she loved everything about him. He never mentioned her difficulty with reading, or if he’d managed to find out anything from his medical studies, and she didn’t ask. It obviously didn’t bother him at all, and that made her happy.
At the end of the pier they stopped and she shaded her eyes with her hand to look out to sea. ‘What a beautiful day. There’s a ship out there and it looks so tiny.’
John draped his arm around her shoulder. ‘Will you marry me, my darling?’
She spun round to face him, eyes wide with surprise. For some time now she had hoped he would ask her, but hadn’t expected it yet. He was settling in at a new job at St Thomas’ Hospital, working long hours. But she loved him so much…
‘Oh, yes please!’
Laughing at her response, he hugged her tightly. ‘You’ve made me very happy. Let’s go and buy you a ring.’
They ran back along the pier, as joyous as a couple of children, and headed for the shops. They went from
one jeweller to another, inspecting the window displays.