One Step at a Time (34 page)

‘No idea, but you’d better find out, and it’s warmer in his hut.’

Well aware that their every move was watched, they began to walk towards the hut, seeming relaxed and unhurried.

Shorty peeled off before they reached hut seven and went in a different direction.

The Major was sitting at the table, and another prisoner by the name of Charlie was leaning against
a bunk bed. He was a rather shifty-looking individual and Ben had the impression he might have been a crook before the war.

‘Ah, Scott.’ The officer indicated he should sit. ‘I believe you are an artist?’

He nodded.

‘Give him the pass, Charlie.’

Charlie pushed himself away from the bunks and tossed something in front of Ben.

He whistled in surprise when he saw what it was, picked it up and examined it carefully. ‘Where did you get this?’

‘I took it out of a guard’s pocket.’ Charlie smirked. ‘I made my living as a pickpocket before this lot started.’

Ben glanced at him. So his first impression of the man had been correct. ‘You must be good.’

‘He is.’ The Major gave a faint smile. ‘And proving rather useful to us in here. Now, do you think you could copy that?’

‘If I had the right pens and paper.’

The officer opened a drawer and took out various pens, inks and good-quality paper. Ben almost drooled. What wouldn’t he give to have some of that to draw on?

‘As I’ve said, Charlie’s skills are proving to be of great value. You need to work quickly because the pass must be returned to the guard before he misses it.’

‘How long have I got?’ This was going to be delicate work, but Ben was sure he could do it.

‘An hour at the most.’ Charlie propped himself against the bunks again and examined his fingers. ‘Got to slip it back in his pocket before he goes off duty.’

‘I’d better get a move on then. I’ll do the best I can in the time.’ Ben set to work at once. He hadn’t done such fine work since he’d been at college, but he revelled in the challenge. It was wonderful to have something positive to do, instead of ambling around, longing for freedom and worrying about those at home.

Only five minutes over the hour he had a passable replica, and handed it to the Major. ‘I could have done better with more time.’

‘That’s excellent. If it isn’t scrutinized too closely it will get someone out of the gate.’ Major Roberts smiled then. ‘You’re very good, Ben.’

‘Thank you, sir.’ Ben hid a smile when the officer called him by his first name. He didn’t do that to many. ‘I’d like to try and get out with it.’

‘Sorry, you’re too tall, and we need your forgery skills. We’re lucky enough to have a tailor as well, and he’s making a German uniform out of an old blanket. Quite a talented lot we have in here.’ He tossed the pass back to Charlie. ‘Better return that now.’

Charlie disappeared without making a sound.

‘Can you make another two passes? If it’s successful we might be able to get a couple of men out before they rumble what we did.’

‘Of course.’ Ben eyed the paper with longing. ‘Any chance of having a sheet of that, sir?’

‘Sorry.’ He put it back in the drawer. ‘It came from the commandant’s office and will be recognized in this state, but’ – he gave Ben a sympathetic glance – ‘I’ll see if we can get you something to use for yourself. Miss your art, do you?’

Ben nodded. ‘It’s one of the hardest things for me. There is so much crying out to be recorded here, and I haven’t anything to do it with. I assume Charlie got that as well, but how the hell did he get into the office?’

‘I don’t ask.’ The Major shook his head. ‘Come here tomorrow morning and do the others for us.’

‘Right.’ Ben stood up and left, making his way back to his own hut, dipping his head to hide his amused smile.
What do you think of that, Amy? I’m a forger now!

He hoped the Major could find him paper and pencils, but if not, perhaps he could bribe Charlie to find him something. The man might like a portrait of himself.

He had to find a way to pass the time, because he could be here for years. They were never going to let him take part in an escape plan, because his height made him too conspicuous.

The amusement faded as he contemplated the bleak future and wondered when, or if, he would see his family and friends again.

*

Four weeks later two men walked out of the camp with the passes, and those left behind waited anxiously. But they were to be disappointed when after three days one of the men was caught, and the other was only free for five days. Still, it gave them all heart to know that it was possible to escape, even if the chances of reaching safety were very slim indeed. There was a scheme to dig a tunnel next.

31

It had been two months since John had been killed. The first daffodils were beginning to push through the ground in anticipation of spring, but Amy’s grief had been all-consuming, and the passing of time had made no impression on her. The pain had been so intense that she hardly remembered the funeral.

She had flatly refused to leave London and stay with his parents, although they had pleaded with her to do so. The loss of their only child had devastated them. A son with so much promise had had his young life cut short, like so many in this dreadful war. Seeing their grief, Amy had wished she could comfort them, but she had nothing left to give. She was utterly bereft.

‘I’ve got a nice egg for your breakfast.’ Mrs Dalton came into the kitchen and searched for a pan to boil the egg.

‘I can’t take that. It’s your ration.’

‘You need it more than me. Doesn’t she, Ted?’

He tossed his gas mask on the chair as he came in and studied Amy. ‘You have it, my dear. You’re far too thin.’

‘I insist!’ Mrs Dalton made her sit down. ‘I’ll get Ted something to eat as well, while I’m at it.’

Knowing it was useless to protest further, Amy spread margarine on a slice of bread. She knew everyone was worried about her, but she just couldn’t seem to take an interest in anything. She wondered when, or if, the pain of losing John would ease to a bearable level.

When the egg was put in front of her, she sliced off the top, but when she saw and smelt the runny yolk, her stomach heaved.

She made it to the bathroom just in time and was dreadfully sick. Mrs Dalton had followed her and held her shoulders until the nausea passed, then she filled a glass with water. Amy gulped gratefully.

‘Now, what brought that on?’

‘Must have been something I ate. My stomach’s been upset for about a week, but that is the first time I’ve actually been sick.’

‘Hmm.’ Mrs Dalton studied her thoughtfully. ‘You’ve only had the same as us, and we’re feeling all right. You say your stomach’s felt a bit uppity for the last week. How long does it last?’

Amy shrugged, already feeling better. ‘An hour at the most. I expect it’s delayed shock.’

‘Maybe. Have you missed your monthly?’

Amy held out the empty glass, her hands shaking. ‘I don’t know, I haven’t been taking much notice of anything.’

‘Do you keep a note of the times?’

‘Yes.’ Her heart began to thud, and she rushed from the room, picked up her small pocket calendar
and began to flick through the pages, once, twice, three times.

‘Two,’ she whispered. ‘I’ve missed two.’ Then she began to howl, tears flooding down her face.

Ted came charging in. ‘What’s the matter?’

‘It must have been Christmas.’

‘What, what?’ Ted was looking worried. ‘Tell me, Amy.’

‘I might be pregnant!’ Since John had been killed she had just been going through the motions of living. Her loss had been so great that it had drained all the life out of her; now it surged back. Did she still have a part of John – a small living part of him? Oh, please let it be true!

‘We must get you to a doctor without delay.’ Mrs Dalton was smiling now. ‘And if it’s confirmed you will have to start looking after yourself.’

Suddenly, Amy’s hope faltered. The shock of losing John might have upset the normal cycle of her body. It might be no more than that. John always took precautions, didn’t he, but had they been careless at Christmas? Oh, she wanted this so much, but mustn’t raise her hopes. ‘We’re jumping to conclusions.’

‘Perhaps, but we’ll go and see my doctor right now and find out.’ Mrs Dalton stood up with an air of confidence. ‘But I’d say you’re expecting. You’ve got the look about you. Don’t know why I didn’t notice it before. Wash your face and get your coat.’

‘I’ll drive you. I’ve still got a little petrol left.’

Amy was too stunned to object to Ted using his
precious petrol ration like this. Instead she said, ‘I didn’t eat the egg; it will be cold by now.’ What a silly thing to think about at a time like this, she thought, giving them a tremulous smile.

‘Don’t worry about that. It’ll make a nice sandwich and you might enjoy it later.’

The very thought made Amy’s stomach churn uncomfortably. ‘No, I think you’d better eat it.’

It didn’t take her long to wash and make herself presentable, and they were on their way.

When they arrived at the doctor’s, Ted stayed in the van. Mrs Dalton came in with Amy, had a word with the nurse on duty, and after only a five-minute wait, Amy was called in.

Dr Grant was grey and middle-aged, with a gentle manner. His examination was thorough and while the nurse helped her to dress again, he waited at his desk for her.

Hands clasped tightly in her lap, Amy looked at him with pleading eyes, almost afraid to hear him speak in case he told her it wasn’t so.

‘Well, Mrs Sterling, I’m pleased to be able to confirm that from my examination, and what you have told me, I judge that you are around three months pregnant.’

Her response to that was to burst into tears, making him frown in concern.

‘Do I take it that you are not happy about the baby?’

‘Oh, no,’ she sobbed. ‘I’m deliriously happy.’

He smiled then. ‘You are obviously feeling very emotional at the moment.’

‘With reason, doctor.’ She then explained what had happened to John, and this was the first time she had been able to put the horror of it into words.

He listened, his expression sad. ‘In that case I’m happy you are carrying his child. Now, I want you to come and see me every four weeks, and you must take care of yourself.’

‘I will. I won’t let anything happen to this precious baby!’

He wrote something on a form and handed it to her. ‘This will mean you can get things like orange juice and a few extras to make sure you eat properly.’

‘Thank you.’ Amy put the paper in her bag, shook hands with him and went out to Mrs Dalton, who was waiting anxiously.

Amy sniffed and nodded. ‘I am expecting John’s baby.’

‘That’s wonderful!’ Mrs Dalton kissed her in delight. ‘Let’s go and tell Ted the good news.’

Amy was so elated by this wonderful news that she could hardly think straight, and the excited talk in the van as they went home passed right over her head.

As soon as they arrived back, Mrs Dalton made a pot of tea and they sat at the table. Amy nibbled a biscuit, gazing at Mrs Dalton and Ted in wonder. ‘I can hardly believe this is happening. John would have been so thrilled. We’d planned to have a large family…’

‘Now, now,’ Mrs Dalton said when she saw the tears gathering. ‘You mustn’t upset yourself.’

‘But our child will never know its father…’

Ted gave her another biscuit. ‘That’s sad, but the little one will have a wonderful mother, grandparents, and all of us here.’

‘John’s parents will be pleased, won’t they?’

‘I should say so. Drink up your tea and then go and pack your case.’

Amy looked up quickly at Mrs Dalton. ‘Why?’

‘Because you’re going to stay with Mr and Mrs Sterling until the baby’s born.’

‘I can’t do—’

‘Amy.’ Ted stopped her protest. ‘What would John have done if he’d been here?’

‘Well… sent me away from the danger, I suppose.’

‘There’s no suppose about it, my dear. You’ve got the baby to think about now, and you mustn’t take any chances.’ Mrs Dalton had her ‘won’t take no for an answer’ face on.

‘Is there any petrol in Ben’s car?’ Ted looked equally determined to send her out of harm’s way.

‘Not much, but I don’t want to leave you here on your own.’

‘We’ll come and see you regularly, won’t we, Ted?’

‘Of course we will. You won’t be able to keep us away, and if the raids stop you can come home again.’ Ted was on his feet. ‘While you pack your things, I’ll see if I can wangle you some petrol.’

‘How are you going to do that?’ This was all moving too fast for Amy to take in.

‘Never you mind. There’s ways when it’s necessary.’ Then he was gone.

Within an hour Ted had returned with enough petrol to get her to Hampshire. ‘I’ll drive you there and get the train back.’

‘You’ll do no such thing, Ted.’ Amy decided it was time to take some kind of control. ‘I’ll drive myself and stay for a couple of weeks. But I’ll be returning, because I have to see the doctor every month.’

‘You can transfer to a doctor down there.’

‘No, Mrs Dalton.’ Amy’s mouth set in a determined line. ‘I’m not staying there until September. This is my home and it was John’s for a while. I want our baby born in this house, if possible.’

‘That would be lovely.’ Mrs Dalton looked quite overcome at the thought. ‘But there’s plenty of time to decide things like that. John’s parents are going to be over the moon about this.’

It didn’t take Amy long to pack a few clothes, and then she was on her way, eager to tell John’s parents the good news, but determined that she was not going to be persuaded to stay there all the time. She needed to be in the home she had shared with John, Howard, Ben and the rest of her family. Oh, darling, she thought, I wish I could hold you and tell you about the baby.

But she didn’t allow herself to dwell on the sadness
too long; there was so much else to think about. It was a bright day, and although it was only mid-March, there was enough warmth in the sun to give a hint that spring was not far away, and the months ahead did not seem so bleak. She was expecting John’s child!