One Swinging Summer (36 page)

I had been with him every other time in those clubs. I knew how much he enjoyed the whole scene, the back rooms in particular. I remembered the conversation we had when he was telling me what happened during the night I passed out. 'No, not passed out,' I corrected myself. 'I never passed out, I was never unconscience on that floor. OK then, blacked out.' When he was telling me what happened during the night I don't remember, and I asked him if we had sex, he said, "There was no way I wasn't sticking it somewhere."

So maybe that blow job was just him 'sticking it somewhere,' and had nothing to do with me. I didn't like having the memory of him with the lady beside us on our last trip to The Lakehouse either, but I had been there, I had seen how that happened. Maybe this was the same thing, only I hadn't been there to understand it.

Wow, what an odd conversation to be having with oneself. These aren't thoughts I would be thinking in a normal relationship. If any other boyfriend had slept with someone else, and had gotten a blow job from a different someone else, we would be over. Game, set, match.

Then there was that. He isn't technically my boyfriend right now, and he wasn't on the night of his blow job. A technicality, sure. But it was a technicality that I had insisted on. Caleb doesn't seem to want to end our relationship, and is willing to not go back to any of those clubs. He didn't go last Friday, he was busy playing with me and my toys. He didn't seem to miss it that night.

Ah yes, but that night included a text from Laura. What the hell is that about? Is he really just a naive nice guy, trying to give advice to Laura? I know she is playing a game there, she wants Caleb, no doubt about that. But is he as innocent as he claims to be?

These swirling questions and doubt were giving me a headache. I didn't seem to be getting any farther with a rational examination than I had gotten with an emotional reaction.

I got out of the car at my next stop, and knocked on the door. As I waited for someone to answer, I flipped through the papers. Shit, divorce papers. I hated those, they were so unpredictable. Most of the other papers I delivered I was pretty sure that they knew they were coming. Delivering child support hearing dates were easy, both sides knew they were coming, and with two deliveries I got paid twice as much. The same with debt. When I delivered debt papers most people said, "Finally, my lawyer told me to expect these." Same with car accidents or dog bites. Everyone knows those can come with paperwork. But divorces can go either way.

People don't always know divorce papers are coming. Most do, but sometimes my delivery is a total shock. "What? I thought she was just staying at her sister's to help with the new baby. She's not coming back? She wants a divorce?"

When the door opened I was on my guard. "Hi, delivery for..." I looked down at the cover sheet. "David Thompson." I looked up at the guy who had opened the door. He was kind of hot. That threw me a bit, most people are pretty average looking, to put it nicely. Knocking on doors was a lot like hanging out in a Walmart. Walking around a Walmart gives you a decent cross section of the average people in an area, and most people are just... average. You forget what they look like ten minutes after you walk away.

Knocking on their doors you see people in their own environment. People are comfortable. They wear slippers, haven't brushed their hair. They answer their door in all manners of undress. I've had naked women accept their papers dripping from the shower, peeking around the door. I had one guy answer in nothing but a bathrobe. His hands were full, and when he tried to take the papers, his robe came untied. I kept a straight face and looked him in the eyes the whole time he scrambled to re-tie himself.

So when you get a good-looking one, it's kind of a surprise. He said, "David? He doesn't live here. What kind of delivery is it?"

"Do you know him, sir? If I leave you a delivery slip could you pass it on and have him call me? Or should I just send it back as a bad address?"

"Oh, wait. Are these his divorce papers? I'm his brother. He wasn't supposed to be served with papers, they signed something saying service wasn't necessary. It is a mutual divorce, they were in Vegas and got drunk. It's kind of a Britney Spears quick marriage thing. That's what this is, right? Divorce papers?"

Oh good, this isn't a total surprise. And this guy seems really open and casual about the whole thing. I dropped my guard a bit. "Yes, sir. Do you know how I can get in touch with him?"

"Yeah, yeah, hang on. I'll call him. But only if you stop calling me sir."

He dialed the phone and said, "Hey David, ya dumb-ass, there is a lady here looking for you. She's cute too. How did you get so lucky? ...No, I'm not kidding, but seriously, she is here to serve you with your divorce papers. I thought you said you guys waived your right to service or something."

After some more brotherly harassment, I was handed the phone. David gave me his phone number, but not his new address. He said to give him a few days, so he could find out what went wrong. He said that they really were not supposed to be served with the papers, but were supposed to be called when it was time to pick them up. He said if he didn't get them canceled in a few days I could call him, and he would then tell me where he lives now, or meet me somewhere, so I could bring them. But he didn't want his new address getting on anything official if he could help it. I agreed to give him a few days and if the papers were not canceled, I would call him.

When I gave the phone back, I heard, "Alright bro, I'll talk to you later." When he got off the phone he started telling me the whole story. His brother had lived here with him for a while, and still used this address sometimes for important documents. He offered me a beer, but I turned it down.

He was easy to talk to, and funny. I hadn't spent this long at someone's door in a long time, if ever. The fact that he was handsome and flirtatious didn't hurt. As I was leaving he asked me out. I turned him down automatically. I appreciated being flirted with, but I wasn't looking to date. I had enjoyed him very much though, so I pleaded a conflict of interest.

"I can't go out with you. I'm serving your brother with legal papers, I have to be a disinterested third party. But thank you for asking, you seem like a really cool guy. If we hadn't met under these circumstances. Plus, I'm kind of seeing someone."

"Well, if you change your mind, the offer still stands. You can knock on my door any day."

I grinned up at him, and thanked him again. 'I think I'm blushing,' I thought as I got into my car and pulled away. That had been nice, I'd needed that. My spirits were boosted the rest of the day.

CHAPTER 45
SUMMER'S END

I had chosen to shave myself bare, and I was acutely aware of my bald self as I was led around the dance floor. It reminded me of the time Caleb held my panties in his pocket, and it was highly arousing. I hadn't seen Caleb yet tonight, but he should be here any minute.

When the dance was over I went by Lana's bar and got a drink. She had my credit card from last week and was just going to add tonight's tab to the couple of drinks I had last week, before I was dragged off and tied up.

I saw Kate and Michael in the crowd and headed off to join them. After the hugs, Kate tentatively asked about Caleb. I hadn't seen Kate or Michael since the three of them left here for That Other Bar two weeks ago, so they were unsure of where we stood. So was I, but we were planning on talking it all out this weekend.

"He should be here soon," I told Kate in answer to her question.

"How is that going? Are you officially back together?"

"No, not officially." I answered. "We went home together last Friday, early actually. We left before we saw you guys. But I didn't spend the whole weekend. We are still trying to work things out. I'm still dealing with everything from his birthday. I know I told him to go, but the whole blow job thing still bugs me."

"He told you about that, huh? We wondered if he would." Michael spoke up. "That place was wild that night. Packed with new people. We hadn't ever seen those two ladies in there before. I'm not sure if they were sisters or just friends, but they looked a lot alike. It was hard to tell them apart. But they took a liking to Caleb immediately. The three of them were inseparable all night. We weren't real surprised when they all headed into the back room. I am a bit surprised he told you though. Kate said he would, but I wasn't so sure."

My heart dropped into my stomach, and I took a stiff drink to buy myself a minute to hide my surprise. Caleb never mentioned two women. I tried to act as if this wasn't news to me. I knew if Michael even suspected that I hadn't already known, he would stop talking.

"Well, he didn't relish telling me. He didn't want to purposely hurt me. But he knew that if we were going to be together, I needed to know. It was the first time for either of us to go without the other, and if we are going to have a relationship it is important to know if anyone has been with anyone else."

"Well, I don't think he actually did either of them. Caleb mentioned after the girls had left that having two mouths on him was so different and exciting that he came before he could fuck them. He said he came so fast it surprised him, so he had to finish them off the same way, with his mouth."

"Yeah," I agreed with Michael to keep the information coming. "He did say that he didn't have actual sex with anyone, just the oral."

"I can understand why you are struggling with everything," Kate said. "I know he was there to play, I get that. What surprised me the most though was when they all exchanged phone numbers. I didn't think you guys did anything outside of the clubs. Especially since you are thinking of never going back."

"Yeah, that part surprised me too." I answered. More than you even know, I thought. Wow. According to Caleb he had gotten a blow job. I guess that was technically correct, but he had neglected to mention that it was from two women, and that he had returned the favor. And he completely left out the part about getting their phone numbers. And about intending to fuck them but finishing before he could.

I was surprised by my own calmness. I didn't feel any rage. I didn't feel any tears threatening to pour forth. All I felt was a quiet certainty. Up until now I had been torn. Emotionally and rationally. Was all of this just the mess anyone who gets into these clubs has to face? Was it fair to introduce him to this life and then stop it? Was Caleb really so naive that he didn't know why Laura was calling? I guess I could ask myself if Caleb only exchanged phone numbers to be polite, and then deleted them. Or maybe he kept them, only to be able to see who was calling him, and planning to ignore their calls.
I could already mentally hear Caleb using both of those excuses. But I knew better. Deep in my heart, I knew better.

Caleb liked the game too much. He liked the clubs, he liked the ladies. The only reason Caleb would exchange phone numbers with these ladies, and with Laura, was to use those numbers. I also knew in my heart that he liked me too, maybe even loved me, but not enough. Not the way I wanted, needed, him to love me. I felt something deep inside me unplug. I took a deep, cleansing breath and let it out slowly.

Caleb chose that moment to join our group. "Hi there, we were just talking about you." I said, to eliminate any awkward silence that was about to become very obvious when we went completely quiet at his arrival.

"Oh yeah? Saying anything good?"

"No not really. We were just finishing our discussion about your birthday party."

Caleb choked on his drink, turning a deep, dark red. After he finished coughing, I asked if he was OK. "I don't know," he said, looking at me piercingly. "Am I?"

I just smiled calmly up at him and shrugged. Michael and Kate headed off to dance, and Caleb eyed me warily. I didn't say anything, I was enjoying his discomfort. He kept looking at me like I was going to stab him in the eyes with my cocktail straw. Or maybe suddenly break down in tears. I figured I would break down, later on in private, but for now I was eerily calm. I think it was freaking Caleb out.

He finally said, "Look, I can explain. I didn't give you all the details because I didn't want to hurt you any more than I had to. They didn't mean anything to me, you know that."

"You don't have to explain anything." I said. "We were not together then. We are not together now."

"Shit. I don't think I like you this way, all calm and detached. Get angry, yell at me."

"I'm not going to yell at you, Caleb. I'm not the yelling type."

Caleb looked me in the eyes for a long time, searching. I let him, unresisting. I used the time to search inside myself as well.

"I've lost you haven't I?" Caleb asked finally.

"Yeah, Caleb. You have. I can almost understand you not mentioning that there were two women. I get that. You started to tell me what happened, you mentioned a blow job, and I hung up. I even understand you sticking with the facts, saying that there was no sex, leaving out the part that you meant to have sex, but you finished too soon. On some weird, rational level, I understand you sticking to facts, to protect my feelings. What I can not get past is that you omitted a large fact. A very large fact. You let what happened in there leave that room with you.

When you gave them your phone number, and when you took their numbers in return. When you didn't mention, for two whole weeks now, that you have been talking not only to Laura, but to those two women. You have been talking to them, I assume?"

He opened his mouth to deny it, or to explain, but he closed it again and just gave his head one quick nod.

"You let it get personal. And you hid that from me. That changes everything. Up until that, everything has been honest. It has been a struggle. But it has been an honest struggle, and we have been in it together. Not anymore. Up until tonight, through everything, I have trusted you. I don't trust you anymore, and that changes everything."

"Come home with me." Caleb said. "Let's talk this out. Not like last time, when we meant to talk and ended up in bed. I meant to tell you everything then, but the thought of you using those toys with anyone but me, even just by yourself, distracted me. I couldn't stand the thought. And then you left. I was planning on telling you everything this weekend. Let's go. Right now. Have some wine, sit on the back patio, and talk it all out. We can start over."