One to Love (One to Hold #4) (10 page)

But in one moment, it all crashed down. Those dreams were gone. I’d never have it again, just like my life would never be the same, just like I’d never find her.

Anger, deep, dark, violent and bitter anger stirred in my chest. It was the heat rising, and I opened my mouth to let out the rage...

That’s when I heard her voice, and I turned around.

Teetering on the edge of giving up, of quitting and losing all the ground I’d gained, she spoke to me through the fog of heartbreak. I looked up, and the noise died away.

Since this morning, I hadn’t spoken to her or even allowed myself in her proximity, but I hung back and stole glances. I studied her reflection in mirrors I cleaned.

Her hair wasn’t black; it was dark purple. She was tiny, maybe only five foot, and she couldn’t weigh a hundred pounds. Still, her torso was lined, and I could see small muscles in her arms. She was strong, I was sure of it, and she had a nice little ass.

She had the brightest blue eyes. When she listened to her clients, her expression softened in this way that said she wasn’t pretending. She was really hearing them. And then she smiled, and the cutest little dimple pierced her left cheek...
Fuck me.

I wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her, lift her, kiss her full mouth. With a growl I shook the image away. I was a fucking creep spying on her. A goddamn fool, too—a fucking janitor working at a gym in a shit town in the middle of nowhere wishing for an angel.

“Can you help me with these weights?” A smoky female voice cut through my self-flagellation.

I stopped wiping the now-exceptionally clean mirror and turned to face a woman smiling at me with an expression I knew too well. She wore tight, black yoga pants and a neon pink sports bra, and nothing more. Her blonde hair was loose down her back, and she waited, smiling an open invitation.

“Sure.” I didn’t respond. I moved past her over to the bench-press bar, which held what looked like about two hundred and fifty pounds.

“Some people are so inconsiderate.” Her laugh turned into what sounded like a purr as I pulled off the heavy plates and stacked them on the rack. “Are you one of the new trainers?”

My eyes met hers, and I noticed her bottom lip was clutched under her top teeth.
Was she seriously biting her lip at me?
“No, but I can get Pete for you. Or Kenny?”

She released it in a smile. “Oh, that’s alright. I know them. What do you do here?”

“Maintenance. I’m actually headed to the men’s locker room right now.”

“Can I tag along?”

She was a hot chick, but my brain was consumed in a purple haze. “Only if you like cleaning urinals. Otherwise, better not.”

Her nose curled and she poked out the tip of her tongue. “Let me know if that situation changes.”

“Will do.” I tipped my chin and headed into the locker room.

I needed to get my head out of the clouds. Kenny was beautiful and kind and smart... and she sure as hell didn’t deserve to get mixed up with a loser like me.

* * *

M
y work was done in an hour, and all dreams of romance were flushed with the shit I scrubbed off the toilets. Forcing myself not to look for her, I put all the supplies back in the closet and pulled my keys to leave.

Rook’s sharp voice stopped me at the door. “Slayde! You said you’d bring me receipts. Where are they?”

Already pissed, his tone fanned the heat in my chest even me more, and I almost forgot he was my boss and blasted a string of profanity in his face. Instead, I grabbed the reins.

“Sorry,” I said, clearing my throat. “They’re back at my apartment. I’ll add everything up and give you the difference tomorrow.”

“You’ll give me the difference tonight, punk.” That snapped my head up. Boss or not, nobody talked to me that way. My fists balled involuntarily.

He took one look at my expression and laughed. “There it is. I knew you had a dick in there somewhere. I was wondering what it took for you to whip it out. You want to fight me, boy?”

The gleam in his eye was both amused and taunting, and I wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t enjoy kicking my ass. He had a good six inches and sixty pounds on me. I might’ve been a champ once, but he was out of my weight class by a mile.

“No, sir.” I looked down, and he pushed a hard breath through his lips.

“Quit that shit, I’m not your master. I’m your fucking boss, and I don’t expect any of my employees to kiss my ass.”

Out of nowhere, I felt a smile pulling at my lips. Lifting my eyes to his, I called his bluff. “What the fuck do you expect of your employees?”

“That’s it,” he laughed, clapping me hard on the shoulder. “So the little girls have been gossiping all day about you hitting the bags this morning. I thought you quit the fight?”

My mind paused to consider what he was saying.
Which little girls?
I swallowed the emotions warring in my chest and recited the monologue. “I don’t fight anymore. That’s in the past.”

“What the fuck is this tattoo about then? You a cock sucker?”

Fists clenched, I had to take a step back before I took a pop at this mountain of black steel in front of me. He only laughed louder.

“I like you Slayde Bennett. You want to kick my ass, don’t you?”

Swallowing the burn in my throat, I heard Doc’s voice telling me to identify the emotion, own it, put it away. “No.” I said, thinking I’d better get out of here now.

Rook caught my shoulder in his enormous hand. “That’s some goddamn kickass control you’ve got there.” He let me go with a little push. “You ever trained anybody?”

Rubbing the back of my neck, I focused on what he was saying to me instead of how I felt. “No.”

He stepped back into his office. “Come in here and close the door.”

I stepped inside, into the same place I’d been just a week before when I’d hoped to be lucky enough to score a job that didn’t require references. I was a fool coming to a gym. I was like an alcoholic applying to be a bartender.

Rook went around his desk and pulled a picture from the top drawer. He handed it to me, and I stared at it a moment, recognizing his face in a football uniform looking several years younger.

“You ever heard of The Rookie? Top draft pick of... well, the year’s not important.” He did a little chuckle, but it didn’t register. I’d never kept up with football. Boxing was my game.

“This you?” I cut my eyes from the photo to him.

“Yep. Just starting out, dreaming of mansions in Miami, yachts, a sexy blonde on each arm. One blown knee later, I had nothing. No money, no college degree, no woman. Nothing. It was all over.”

My stomach tightened sickly. I didn’t need his sob story added to mine. I already felt like shit. “That’s tough,” was all I said.

“Fuckin right it was tough. I went from the penthouse to the outhouse. I worked as a bouncer, a bodyguard, the whole time killing the pain with blow. Then I met Tammy, and she wouldn’t let me kill myself.”

Nodding, I was ready to go. I wasn’t looking for a woman. Or at least I was trying hard not to look for a particular woman... who worked in this gym. “That’s good.”

“Its better than good. Know why I call myself Rook? Some racist, sonofabitch redneck nickname?”

I didn’t know how to answer that question, so I didn’t.

“The Rook is the smartest bird in the whole species,” he continued. “They use tools, they can be taught to speak, they recognize music... they’re survivors. I’m a survivor. When I was a player, they called me The Rookie, someone who’s new, ignorant, inexperienced. I’m not a rookie anymore. I’m a Rook. What are you?”

I glanced down at my hands, thinking about his words, wondering if he knew what was hidden beneath my shirt. It was impossible, but I supposed with a few phone calls he could’ve found out my story.

“I was Slayer,” I said. “Now I’m Slayde.”

“Slayde? A malaprop of
slain
. Are you dead?”

I thought about that.
Yes.
When I put down those gloves, my life ended. Only now I wasn’t so sure. I had been dead or close to it up until two nights ago. Then something happened, something powerful enough to bring me back.

Rook seemed to understand my internal conflict, and he backed off. “Think about what I said. I like keeping the gym fresh, new blood, new offerings. When you’re ready, let me know. In the meantime, keep my shit clean and my stuff put away.”

Blinking back to the moment, I nodded and went to the door ready to call it a day. I was finished anyway. Opening it without looking, I stepped into the hallway nearly colliding with Kenny.

My stomach tightened, and everything stopped. She was in a different outfit from the one she’d worn all day with her clients. Her hair was still up, but a bit of it hung long over her shoulder like a dark purple ribbon. I wanted to run my finger under it. That cute dimple appeared, and
Shit!
I wanted her.

“Sorry,” she exhaled a little laugh. “I think I ran right into you.”

“It was my fault. I didn’t look where I was going.” She smelled sweet, like sugar. I probably smelled like toilet cleaner.

“Hey, I-I wanted to thank you.” Her cheeks flushed a pretty shade of pink, and I felt that surge of desire move from my stomach to a lower region. “You saved me the other night. Then you just disappeared. Are you Batman?”

She released another, softer laugh that hit me hard. I wanted to make her laugh again. I wanted to bury my face in her delicious scent, taste her body, see if it was as good as she smelled, wrap her hair around all five of my fingers.

“Sorry to disappoint you,” I managed to say.

She smiled again. Her thick, dark lashes made her blue eyes glow. Or maybe they glowed all the time? “I’m not disappointed. I’m serious. Thank you.”

“I just did what any decent person would do. That guy was hurting you, and I...” I didn’t say
I wanted to kill him
. But I did.

She leaned against the door and cocked her head to the side. “Would you maybe consider...” she hesitated. “Would you be willing to teach me some of your moves? I mean, your technique?”

My brow lined, and she quickly continued. “I was thinking about it yesterday. If you could show me some punches, maybe some self-defense stuff, I could protect myself.”

“Someone your size could never fight off a guy like that.” I answered without thinking, and I could see her disappointment. “You could try, but you’re better off carrying mace or pepper spray.”

Her pale pink lips pressed together, and I wondered if they were as soft as they looked. “Would you still teach me? I could meet you in the mornings, before everyone gets here. Like we did today?”

I wanted that more than anything. “I don’t think so. Sorry.”

Those lips lifted at the corners, and the sly look in her eye slayed me. Ironic. “Well, I’ll be here in the morning doing my regular workout. Maybe I’ll see you.”

I didn’t answer. I could only watch as she pushed through the door and made her way to a shiny new Honda in the parking lot.

As sure as I was standing, I’d be here in the morning.

––––––––

R
olling onto my side, I tried to focus on the flickering television,
not
Slayde Bennett. All day I’d done my best to avoid him, but like little rebels, my eyes found his whenever my thoughts drifted. Twice they’d met in the gym, and both times my chest clenched like some silly teenager with a crush.

I would
not
let myself fantasize about him this morning, dripping with sex as he hit the heavy bag like a pro, and I would definitely not let my stubborn brain remember him struggling for control after flattening the asshole who’d attacked me on the beach.

With a shudder, I thanked everything I could think of for helping me escape that costly mistake. The flash of what almost happened to me sent a roll of nausea through my stomach, yet the feeling of Slayde’s presence, how he handled all of it, covered me in calming warmth.

I closed my eyes and pictured his slim, muscular body, his clear blue eyes and dark brown hair, the faintest hint of a beard along his square jaw, and that line in the center of his chin.
Too much!

Flipping onto my stomach, I reached for the remote just as my phone started going off. The picture told me it was Mariska, and I scooped it up hoping for any kind of distraction.

“Did you ask him?” Her voice was breathless with excitement.

Mine by contrast was not. “Yes.”

“And?”

“He said no.” A brief frown touched my lips as I remembered his refusal to train me.

“What? I don’t believe it. I’m telling you, he was checking you out all day.”

A tingle moved through my stomach, but I dismissed it. I’d talked to him, after all, and he was not interested in me. “He only looked at me once, and he was frowning.”

“That was because Darla tried to seduce him.” The sound of Mariska walking through her apartment filled my ear. “She’s such a cougar. I’m pretty sure I saw her lick her lips when he unloaded those weights.”

“I’m sure she did.” Chewing my bottom lip, I told myself I didn’t care if a sexy gym member made passes at him. It wasn’t my business.

It was a lie.

“I bet she loaded those weights herself just so she could pretend she needed help taking them off.”

That made me laugh. “He is amazingly ripped.”

“And that ink! What do you think he’s hiding under that shirt? A map to buried treasure?”

“Hidden treasure.”

“I knew it!” My friend squeal-laughed. “You’re into him. Are you going in the morning?”

“Of course. It’s my daily routine. I don’t plan to change just because he might be there.”
If only he might be there
.

I dismissed the stubborn thoughts in my head. While Saturday made me believe I was ready to venture into the dating waters, Tuesday verified I only made bad choices when it came to men. Even if Slayde Bennett had saved me, everything he did demonstrated his still waters hid some seriously deep shit, and it wasn’t anything he wanted to share.

When she spoke again, Mariska’s voice was serious. “Are you okay... otherwise? Since Tuesday, I mean?”