One to Tell the Grandkids (10 page)

Slate looked a little green, but when Caleb pressed his hand to his friend’s shoulder in silent encouragement, he spoke up. “It’s fine. I’ll go.”

“You’ll be fine. Just remember. They can’t kill you. I know they have you,” Caleb said.

When the three were gone a few minutes later, Caleb turned to Taryn. She’d gravitated toward the couch and was sitting with her arms crossed over her chest, brooding. Unable to think of anything else to say, Caleb was about to remark how nice her home was, when she spoke. “You shouldn’t judge my brother, you know. He has every right to say ‘I told you so.’ “

Caleb opened his mouth and then shut it again, considering his words. He sat down on the opposite end of the couch. “Why do you keep doing that?”

“Doing what?”

“In every other conversation, you come across as confident. But when you talk about your brother, you project this whole other image I’m just not buying. You act like you did something horrible.”

“Because I did.” She shifted, looking anywhere but at him. “My baby sister spent most of her life in the hospital. You know that part. Her name was Bailey. Did I tell you?”

He shook his head but didn’t speak at that.

“Michael did everything he could to make it easier on Mom, Dad, and Bailey. He did everything for us when Mom and Dad weren’t there, which was only because Bailey was in the hospital so often. They were with her or working.

“So my parents were trying to comfort their dying daughter, my brother was trying to run a household, and I was acting out. I drank. I did drugs. Nothing terribly hard.” She shrugged and looked down at her shoes. “It was a shitty thing to do, to be so much trouble when it was too much. Losing Bailey was too much.”

“It’s understandable.”

She looked up, pain etched on her features. “How is that understandable? Come on.”

“I’m not saying it was the right thing to do, but you were a kid.”

“I was old enough to know better.”

“Regardless, it sounds like your parents neglected you.” He held a hand up to stop her protest. “I’m not judging them for that. They had a sick baby and there are only so many hours in a day, but just because your sister needed them doesn’t mean you didn’t. Any kid needs attention and affection, even an older teen. Maybe especially an older teen.”

Taryn huffed, worrying the edge of her shirt between her fingers. “I saw a counselor for a few years after I stopped self-medicating. He told me I was starved for love.” She swallowed hard and glanced up at him. “That’s why I took love however I could get it, wherever I could get it.”

It took Caleb a few moments to read between the lines of what she was saying. She must have seen when understanding dawned on him because she nodded and looked away. “So you see?” She gestured to her midsection. “Mike’s been expecting this since we were both still in high school.

“That’s the ironic thing. I was so careful back then. My parents were upfront about sex. They told us they preferred we wait, of course. They told us why we should wait, but at the same time, they made sure we knew where the condoms were early on.

“On top of that, I never mixed my pleasures. It was either drinking or boys, never both. Except the last time.” She grimaced. “Well, I guess the last time before this time. The summer after I graduated high school. That’s what it took to make me stop, you know. Not the fact my family was suffering and I added worry for me on top of all of that. What it took for me to stop was waking up next to a guy I’d never seen before in my life, naked and sore with no idea where the hell I was or what I’d done.”

She shuddered, wrapping her arms around her middle. “I’m a blackout drunk. I know it. I’ve always known it. That’s why I don’t drink. I never know when to stop. So I wake up next to this guy, not a condom in sight, and he was an asshole, too. He wouldn’t tell me where my clothes were. I called Mike, and he had to take me home wrapped in a blanket. The whole drive home he was telling me how stupid I was and how I was probably pregnant. He called me all these names. Worst car ride of my life.”

Unable to keep himself still anymore, Caleb gave in to the urge to comfort her. He scooted closer on the couch, wishing he could take her in his arms. Instead, he let his hand rest on hers on top of her jean-clad knee. “He had no right. Not even then.”

“Why? He was right. I was everything he said. Except pregnant. I wasn’t pregnant. Then. And he’s right now. Once should have been enough. It never should have happened again. Irresponsible and stupid are the least of what I am.”

He caught her hand in his and squeezed. “What you are is human. You made mistakes. Your mistakes don’t excuse his. You didn’t deserve cruelty when you were a kid who couldn’t have possibly known how to deal with your sister dying when your parents weren’t giving you the love you deserved.”

She bowed her head, whimpering as though she was about to sob, and put her free hand over her eyes. “Oh, man. I’m sorry. Stupid mood swings.” She gestured helplessly with one hand. “I didn’t mean to dump all that on you. Just . . . I hear his voice in my head sometimes. A lot of times. How can I possibly do right by Patch when I would do something so stupid?”

He patted her knee. “That’s exactly why I said his cruelty is a mistake. A big one. Bigger, if you ask me, than going a bit overboard on a night of fun, or at least much more malicious. You had no intention of hurting anyone. Your brother, it seems,
wants
to hurt you when you’re already in a bad place. That’s not helpful to anyone. Not you and definitely not Patch.

“Look, I don’t know how this sounds coming from me, but I hope you’ll hear me. Parents are only human, and humans do stupid things. Just because you have the propensity to make a bad decision doesn’t mean you’re going to fail at being a parent. What makes all the difference is how you’re handling it.” He pressed a finger under her chin, and she raised her head. “You’ve been amazing, you know. Especially with Slate.”

She sniffed and took a deep breath, blinking sporadically in a way that made him think she was trying not to cry. “He makes it easy.”

“He’s a good guy. He tries so hard. Like you that way, I think.”

It was only when she stared at him that Caleb realized his finger had begun to trace the shape of her chin. Clearing his throat, he dropped his hand and scooted backward. They’d been close enough that his leg was pressed against hers. When had that happened?

Before he could apologize for being so forward—they weren’t such close friends he should have been touching her so easily—the door opened, and the missing trio came in, arms laden with bags of food. Caleb looked to Slate and was relieved to see he looked relaxed. All the tension from their drive was gone. Robin and Melanie similarly looked to be in a good mood. Whatever test they had put Slate through, he’d obviously passed.

“Okay, Tare.” Robin put his bags on the table and began rummaging. “How’s tummy doing? We need something small and plain, or are we eating for two today?”

“I could eat a whole hippo.”

Robin reached out, drawing Taryn under his arm when she came to inspect the food. “You’re going to have to settle on three-item Panda Express, Simba,” he said and dropped an affectionate kiss to her temple.

Meanwhile, Slate caught Caleb’s eyes and gave him the thumbs-up, further confirming he’d been properly vetted. Maybe Mike was Taryn’s blood, but Robin and Melanie were the right kind of siblings, and Caleb was glad for it.

Chapter Ten

D
og nose. Taryn was not a fan of the pregnancy phenomenon that was dog nose. Some scents she could smell from across an open air parking lot. In Caleb’s bar, the acrid scent of alcohol mixed with the sweet scent of flavored syrups, cherries, and the sharp twist of lemon and lime threatened to overwhelm her.

Despite the occasional wave of smell-induced dizziness, Taryn was having a good time. It was Caleb’s birthday, and she sat at the bar, enjoying the easy atmosphere as his friends, old and new, gathered to celebrate. Taryn had invited Mel and Rob. They both seemed to be enjoying themselves, but then, neither of them had ever had a hard time making friends. Mel had hit it off with a good-looking guy Caleb had introduced her to. She’d been talking and flirting with him all night. Rob, on the other hand, was dancing with a different person every time Taryn looked. She shook her head, laughing as Robin and Slate danced together, each of them vying for the lead.

When the song ended, they clapped each other on the back. Slate threw one arm over Rob’s shoulders and the other around Caleb’s as he led them both back to where Taryn sat.

“You see, this is the fucked up part about owning a bar. You already bought yourself the drinks.” Slate slapped Caleb on the back as he set a shot in front of him.

Caleb smirked. “It still works. I bought this wholesale. You’re paying full price. Profit for me, and”—he tossed back the shot—“I get to enjoy the merchandise.”

“Hey, Oni. Put this one on my tab, yeah?” Slate called out over the din.

“The one that Caleb always pays for you?”

Slate snapped and pointed at her, his grin wide. “You got it.”

Rolling her eyes, Oni plopped down four shot glasses in front of Caleb. Opening a bottle without the control top, she started to pour. “Tequila from Slate. Tequila from Sam. Tequila from Anna,” she said as she filled the first three. Winking at him, she took out a different bottle. “Your favorite from me.” She filled the shot glass to the brim with whiskey.

Caleb shook his head. “You’re all trying to get me drunk. Or kill me.”

“Happy birthday,” Slate said. “Now drink!”

To the whoops and hollers of his gathered friends, Caleb shot back the drinks one right after another. Just as he finished the fourth, Oni set down another drink in front of him. It was vibrant purple and had both an umbrella and an orange-pineapple-cherry skewer adorning it. He looked at the drink and then raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t look at me.” Oni tilted her head in Taryn’s direction. “She came up with that one on her own.”

Caleb rolled his head to look at her. The bleary, almost sleepy look in his eyes was endearing, but it took Taryn a minute to figure out why he seemed so different. She realized with a start that she’d never seen him relaxed and happy. Even when he’d smiled before, the worry written on his face and in his posture had never lifted.

He had a beautiful smile.

Taryn’s eyes followed the upward curl of his mouth as he brought the sissy-la-la drink to his lips and took a long sip. Her thought process cut off for a handful of seconds as she watched his Adam’s apple bob and then his tongue sweep out over his bottom lip.

He smiled at her. “Thank you.”

For some reason, Taryn’s face felt warm, as though she’d been drinking more than the root beer in front of her. “Happy birthday,” she said into her soda.

Beside her, Robin laughed. He kissed her cheek. “I’m going to tear Mel away from lover boy over there, and we’re out of here. You going to be okay?”

“Yeah. I’m good.”

“Okay. Have fun, honey. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” His eyes fixed on Slate and away. “Or anyone.” He slid off his barstool and similarly kissed Caleb on the cheek. “Cheers, birthday boy.”

Caleb’s expression was a hilarious cross between confusion and sleepy happiness. He waved at Robin. “Safe travels.”

With as many drinks as he’d had, it wasn’t long before Taryn was seeing a completely different Caleb. Or hell, she didn’t know, maybe she was finally seeing the real him. He was surrounded by all his friends.

All things considered, Taryn probably should have been more uncomfortable. She and alcohol didn’t exactly have the best history. She wasn’t drinking, obviously, but most everyone around her was. On top of that, this was where the current mess she was in had started, out on this dance floor when Slate was a perfect, if charming, stranger.

Despite the situation she found herself in, what alcohol had cost her in the past, Taryn wasn’t nervous around drinkers. Caleb’s friends were a fun group. Most of them were around his age and relatively sedate. This wasn’t a wild party by any stretch of imagination. They were loud and rowdy but not obnoxious. A lot of them had kids to get home to, so it was unlikely the party would last until closing time.

She watched Caleb dance with Oni. Nothing serious, just a fun little jig set to the latest pop music nonsense. A man Taryn vaguely remembered as Dean hip checked Oni out of the way after a song and mimed grinding up against Caleb. His partner, Jimmy, pretended to be pissed until Dean grabbed his arms, putting them on either side of Caleb’s waist. Through it all, Caleb just laughed, going with the flow, moving to the music.

Taryn was talking pregnancy with another of Caleb’s friends when Slate’s voice rose above the crowd, trying to get everyone’s attention.

“Yo, shut the hell up.” Slate was standing on a chair next to the jukebox. “We’ve reached the entertainment portion of our evening.” He jumped down and threw his arm around Caleb’s shoulders. “Hey, how drunk are you, dude?”

“Um. I’m at least five sheets to the wind at this point,” Caleb mumbled. He was swaying a bit.

Slate looked the very definition of mischief right then. He reached back and hit a button on the jukebox. A familiar song by one of the boy bands that had been popular when Taryn was a kid came on.