One True Love (28 page)

A small whimper escaped her throat as he watched her stir. His gut tightened at the sad sound. Why had she come to his bed? Should he wake her or not?

William shed his clothes and slipped beneath the covers. He pulled her against him, allowing her silken hair to caress his bare chest, as her bottom pressed against his hardness.

He breathed in her lemony scent –fresh, clean, innocent. He dreamed of this every night, of holding her like this, in his bed. Although she may have betrayed him, he could not help but want her. He brushed his lips across her shoulder and closed his eyes against the agony of wanting her. He wanted to wake her and relieve himself, but he knew the release would only extend to his body, not his heart or his mind. Tired of the torment, he forced his mind to concentrate on sleep.

Dawn reached its' red and orange fingers through the slits of the curtains. Hard and frustrated, William woke in a tangle of arms and legs. Cassie's soft skin pressed against his back. He resisted snuggling deeper into the covers and pulling her closer.

William eased his body from hers and left the bed. He stood before her and considered his next move. He planned to talk to her today, to find common ground on which to piece together their crumbling relationship. Now, he wanted sanctuary.

As long as Winnington remained in close proximity, he was unable to reach his beloved's heart. They needed to return to Rosehill Manor, but that meant too much time alone with her in a closed carriage. Perhaps he would ride alongside, or ride ahead. William picked up his clothes and dressed as he watched Cassie sleep.

He stopped to scrawl a note leaving Cassie the choice to follow. He pondered how he might win her over. As he left the bedchamber, he found a footman and ordered his horse brought round.

"Give this note to my wife when she comes down for breakfast." He handed the note over to Scott as he left the house. He prayed his wife would follow.

***

Strong arms embraced Cassie in her sleep, but were gone when she awoke. The absence startled her. His presence during the night intruded on her dreams. She turned over and swept her hand over the warm indention in her bed. He came. He slept. He left.

She threw his pillow at the air and cried out a stream of inappropriate words as she struggled into her wrapper. Then, she prayed for forgiveness and plopped down on the edge of the bed as she shook her head in frustration. Bound for bedlam, she went to her room to dress. Katie brought her pressed, pink muslin morning gown, then took her time braiding and wrapping Cassie's errant curls into a respectable coiffure.

A small glimmer of hope teased her mind. William had not insisted she return to her room in the middle of the night, but instead, he lay beside her. She smiled at the vision, but she did not count herself victorious. Perhaps her efforts paid off in a small measure of success. If only she had not fallen asleep. What time had he finally come home, and what had he done while he was gone? Did he come from Lady Quartermane's bed? She shook the image from her mind as she could not bear to think of him with another woman.

Scott bowed to her as she entered the dining room and handed her a note. "From his lordship, my lady."

"Thank you, Scott." She took the folded vellum to the table and sat down in the chair. Her heart was heavy with anticipation and dread. It was the first piece of communication her husband extended to her, and she prayed for positive contents.

My lady wife,

I am returning to Rosehill Manor. You may choose to stay or follow in the carriage.

William

Cassie reread the note several times before she tucked it beneath her plate. She debated whether he issued an invitation or an ultimatum; not that it mattered, she would follow. After she finished her first breakfast she could stomach in days, she informed Scott and Katie of her decision, and then changed into a marsh green traveling gown. Before she left, she sent a note to Anne to let her know of their departure.

One part of Cassie regretted leaving the excitement of London, but after her husband's distasteful behavior, she had no desire to attend another Society event. The only way she could survive the
ton's
harsh judgment and biting gossip was to return to the city with William established at her side.

She entered the carriage with Katie beside her. Scott followed in the traveling coach, and half a dozen footmen rode alongside her for protection. At Rosehill Manor, William could not hide at his club, so she might be able to convince him of her innocence and loyalty. She relished the challenge, and prepared herself for the fight of her life.

***

The afternoon sun heated William's skin as he rode Mirabelle across the fields. He took a chance leaving London with his sleeping wife in his bed, even though he left behind a note with an ultimatum. It seemed the only wise thing to do since he realized he could not force his wife to love him. She needed to search her heart and make a decision. Either she wanted this marriage, or she did not. Either way, they were bound for life. However, he refused to give her his heart if she loved another.

William needed to know if there was hope. The die were cast now. His heart ached to think she might choose Winnington. He clenched his fist. She might love another, but she was married to him. His standards and expectations refused to allow his wife to carry on behind his back with another man. She might choose to stay with him, but he set the ground rules. They might live separate lives, but she would do her wifely duties.

Who the hell was he kidding?
He could not imagine breathing the air without her. He prayed she would follow him to Rosehill Manor. What if she did not? What if she stayed behind? What if she declared her love for Winnington? The curse upon his head squeezed his heart and sucked him dry. It made his humiliation complete.

William squinted into the sunlight at the sound of horses and wheels. His heart swelled as he recognized the carriage. An unexpected pleasure rushed through his body. He smiled for the first time in weeks.

William pressed his boot against Mirabelle's side, and trotted towards the front of the house as the carriage pulled to a stop. He leapt down and stood waiting for his wife to emerge. He held his hand out to her, and watched as various emotions, the first of which being surprise, flickered across her face.

"My lady." He gallantly offered his arm and Cassie accepted. A smile spread across her face and reached her eyes. He let out a breath he held since his departure from London.

"William."

Just his name on her lips, softly spoken, punched his heart as he realized how many pointless weeks he wasted avoiding the very sight of her. No matter how hard he tried, he could not escape his need for her.

They walked into the house where she immediately excused herself. Reluctantly, he watched her go, but he knew she needed time to rest and freshen up after her long journey. Luncheon would be served soon, therefore, giving him the opportunity he needed to begin repairing his mess of a marriage.

He decided to freshen up as well, and an hour later, he joined his wife in the dining room. What struck him first was her sad eyes. He stood in the doorway and watched her push food around on her plate
. She missed Winnington!
He forced himself to push the dangerous accusation from his mind.

"Cassie." Surprise flickered across her face. He gestured to the footman to move his place setting next to her, rather than at the end of the lengthy table, then he sat down.

"William," she swallowed, but smiled.

"How are you?"

She sat her fork down, and looked him in the eye. "I have not been unfaithful to you. This babe is yours."

William pressed his lips together to hold back his emotions. He forced himself to think clearly and calmly. She had not minced her words. It was time for honesty between them. "You were in the gardens with Winnington. His hands were on you."

Anger flashed in her eyes. "I did not invite him to touch me. He forced himself upon me, and I was glad of your rescue. I could not break his hold. He was much too strong!"

William allowed her words to sink in. If she told the truth, then he did her a great disservice, but if she lied...

"I swear upon God's
Holy Bible
I am telling you the truth. You must believe me!" Cassie touched his arm and he nearly leapt out of his skin.

He might be the biggest fool in the kingdom, but he wanted to believe her. William grasped her hand and held it to his heart. He searched her eyes to find something hidden, but alas, he did not detect secrets tangled within her words.

If her statements were true, then he punished her unjustly for far too long. If not, well, that did not bear thinking. He wanted to believe his wife. He needed to believe her. "You told me once you loved him."

Cassie pulled her hand away, and placed them in her lap. She looked down a moment before raising her eyes to his, "At the time, I believed I loved him, but now I realize I simply believed myself in love. It was nothing more than youthful fancies. The first blush of a man's attention and girlhood dreams."

"And now it is different?"

"
Yes
."

This time he heard her, and because he wanted to, he believed her.

They ate in awkward silence then attempted small talk. The clang of silver against china echoed in the room and scratched at his nerves. His cravat tightened like a chokehold around his neck. He stopped in the middle of his meal, took off his jacket and laid it across the back of his chair. The cravat came next.

He watched Cassie's curious eyes as he stripped in the dining room. Perspiration dripped down his back, but he unbuttoned only a few buttons at the top of his shirt and rolled up his sleeves.
Better.
He sat back down to her curious glance, then he smiled in response. Picking up his spoon, he dug into his stew with gusto.

He forced himself to focus on his meal. The bulge in his breeches failed to help matters. To start over with her, he needed some time to contemplate the best route to reestablish their relationship.

"Where have you gone all this time? All the days and late nights?" she asked.

The question caught him off guard. He gave her credit for her bluntness.
The minx.
Something shifted inside of him as he admitted to himself how he could not live without her. Where had he gone?
To hell and back.

"Mostly to my club. Sometimes to Gentleman Jacksons." He did not mention he went to boxing club to fight out his frustrations.

"And Lady Quartermane's bed?" She looked at him directly.

Tension tightened his shoulders, and thickened his tongue. The heat in the room increased, and caused drops of sweat to roll down his forehead. He flaunted his former mistress in the face of Society, and left his wife humiliated. Guilt snaked around his throat then squeezed in a death grip.

"No," he choked out.

"Why did you cut me in front of
ton
with your mistress?"

He did it to punish her, and to appease his own bitterness. He believed she carried Winnington's child. He never believed in the curse his brothers and sisters found so humorous, at least he did not believe until he received the most striking rejection of all. A rejection from one his own wife, or so he thought.

He tried to make sense of it all. "Why did you agree to marry me?"

A flush of pink added a rosy blush to her to her milky white cheeks. His shaft hardened.

"At the moment it seemed like my only choice," she said.

Her words sliced through him. She married him out of desperation. She returned from her botched trip to Gretna Green ruined and in disgrace. She embarrassed her family and her sister stood to suffer the consequences of her actions. He offered for her knowing she had little choice.

"But in all honesty, I wanted to marry you. At the time, I did not understand my own feelings, but, I was drawn to you. I still am." She bit her bottom lip, its' soft and pink flesh invited him to kiss her.

He controlled his physical urges, so they could work through this tangled mess. "This is not the first time I have acted like a complete ass. I am sorry." He rose from his seat and knelt before her. "Will you forgive me?"