One True Thing (41 page)

Chapter Nineteen

Dusty

THE sound of our apartment door closing jerked

me awake. I hadn’t thought it would be possible

for me to fall asleep with how anxious I’d been

feeling all day, but I guess my body had decided it

was time. I’d passed out on the couch in the living

room, TV on, remote in hand.
Jesus.

I sat up, blinking groggily. The room was

dark, aside from the light coming from the flat

screen, but I thought I could see a shadowy figure

standing just beside the door. “Ash?”

“Yeah,” he said. His voice was hoarse, as if

he’d been coughing… or maybe crying. I assumed

it was probably the latter. I couldn’t blame him,

given the circumstances. Archer had agreed to the

solution we’d come up with, but that didn’t mean

anybody liked it, Asher most of all.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

Asher released a slow, shuddery breath, then

crossed the room to stand next to the couch. I

scooted over so he could sit down, and he settled

onto the cushions beside me, lying on his side with

his head on my lap.

“He did it.” The words sounded thick, like

they’d had to fight their way through a throat

clogged with tears.

I stroked his hair gently and waited for him to

go on. In the flickering light from the TV screen, I

could see that his face was totally wrecked, his

nose red, eyes swollen. I knew the shoot should

have been over hours ago. Asher had probably

gone somewhere or driven around after. I could

imagine how he’d spent most of that time.

“I feel terrible. When Dom gave me the

money, I felt like I… like I’d pimped Archer out or

something.”

I threaded my fingers into his hair and

massaged his scalp, knowing how much he loved

it. He trembled under my touch and turned his head

into my belly, breathing damply against the thin

material of my shirt.

“He made the choice,” I said, my voice soft.

“You asked him for help so many times. If he’d

really wanted to, he could have worked out

something different with you. But he didn’t, Ash.

He didn’t make any attempt to help clean up his

mess until you threatened him with the police.”

Asher didn’t say anything, just pressed even

closer. I could tell he was crying from the way his

shoulders shook. I didn’t know what else to say to

make him feel better. The entire situation was so

outside of anything I’d ever experienced. What

comfort were words when any chance at a decent

relationship with his brother had probably been

destroyed?

“He backed you into a corner, hon.” I bent

down over him, cocooning him in my lap, my

fingers gentle in his hair. “You gave him a way out

when he wouldn’t look for one himself. Don’t feel

bad about it. I know you probably will anyway, but

he could have said no. Never forget that he could

have said no. He could have chosen to do the right

thing, admitted to using that card in your name, and

taken responsibility for his actions. Instead he got

drunk and high and let you deal with it. And if he

would have offered you something else, a different

solution, you would have taken it, wouldn’t you?

Even after everything else.”

“Yes. You know I would have.” Asher

inhaled shakily, curling one arm around my waist

and squeezing tight. “I still love him. I just… I w-

wish it hadn’t come to this. I mean… it’s over

now. Us.”

“Yeah. And that’s not your fault, okay? It’s

not. You did so much more for him than anyone

else would have, Asher.
So
much.”

I heard him swallow thickly, and he gave a

jerky nod. “He’s going to do a few more scenes

next week. Shouldn’t be long before we can pay

everything off. And then… well, at least it’ll be

done.”

“Do you think he’ll tell your mom?”

Asher gave a short, pained laugh. “No. God,

no. He’d never want her to know. Neither do I.”

“Let’s go get in bed,” I murmured, brushing

the hair off his forehead and leaning back so I

could see his face again. “You’re exhausted, hon. I

know you are.”

Asher followed me to our bedroom and let

me strip him down to his boxer briefs. I paused

long enough to remove my T-shirt and sweatpants

and then snuggled into bed beside him, knowing

the skin-to-skin contact would relax us both.

He slept after a while, but not easily.

Eventually, I did too. In the morning, I went with

him to the bank, and he deposited the money he’d

collected from Archer’s scene. A few more and

he’d be able to pay off the balance he owed in one

lump sum, at least if Archer held up his part of the

bargain. I thought he would, though. Archer’s self-

absorption had gotten Asher into this mess, but it

would also be the thing that got him out. No way

did Archer even want to risk the chance of prison.

He’d do as he promised, and then we’d

probably never hear from him again. Not a

hardship in my case, but I had plenty of sympathy

for Asher. I knew what it felt like to lose a sibling,

even as dissimilar as our situations were. Archer

had knowingly made decisions to sabotage any

kind of closeness he could have had with his

brother. My sister and I had been forced apart by

my parents. Two entirely different scenarios, and

yet the end result had been the same. Except… I

still had a chance with my sister. The same

couldn’t be said for Asher and his brother. I

thought their relationship—for whatever it had

been worth—would probably never recover.

“Are you all right?” I asked him when we

were back in the car. I reached over and laid a

hand on his thigh, rubbing lightly. “You don’t have

any jobs today, do you?”

Asher shook his head.

“Let’s do something, then. We can go for a

walk on the beach, or maybe go see a movie.

Something to take your mind off things.”

“I really just… I want to go home.” He

looked at me quickly. “Is that okay?”

“Of course,” I said. How could I say anything

else? His expression was so worn down and sad.

I’d been where he was, and I ached for what he

must be going through. But I had to put thoughts of

my sister and my past aside for the moment. Asher

needed me. My own problems could wait. It had

already been almost seven years. What was a few

more days, even a few more weeks? I didn’t want

to bring up a subject that could be so potentially

painful for Asher. “Want me to drive?”

“No. I’ve got it.”

I nodded and started to pull my hand away,

but Asher reached down and grabbed it before I

could. He didn’t do anything more—just held on,

tightly enough that it almost hurt.

All I could do was squeeze back.

Yes, my own issues could wait. Right then,

his were more important.

“We can go home,” I said, “but kiss me first.”

Asher turned toward me. I hadn’t seen him

smile,
truly
smile, in more days than I could

remember, but at that moment, he grinned at me.

It affected me as it always did, melting me,

making my knees weak and my heart race. I

grinned back and reached up to cup his cheek with

my free hand. And I knew right then… I knew I

wouldn’t rest, wouldn’t think about myself, my

problems, until I was seeing that smile every day

again, the way it had been at the very beginning.

“You don’t even have to ask,” he murmured,

and I leaned in closer so he could press that smile

to mine.

Asher

“HOW’S life been?” Josh’s smile was faded but

friendly, and to my relief nothing more. We’d met

at The Banana Leaf for lunch. It was the first time

I’d seen him since my housewarming party. He

looked like him, but on the sad side. Like things

weren’t going so well.

I knew the feeling. “It’s been… interesting.

And a really long story. I won’t bore you.”

“I don’t mind. It’s not like I have a million

people telling me stories.” He smiled then, a real

smile. “Dusty said he was finished moving in. I’m

happy for you guys.”

At that I did laugh. “I love that you two text

each other. Top of my ‘things I never thought

would happen’ list.”

Josh smiled too. “I like Dusty, and now that

he knows I’m not going to try to molest you, he

likes me too.”

“What’ve you been up to, though? Dom says

he hasn’t seen you around or heard from you.”

Josh blushed. “I took your advice.”

“Advice?” I hadn’t given him any as far as I

knew, but I was glad to know I’d influenced him.

Josh seemed to have had it rough, but he had a

streak of sweetness that hadn’t been covered with

the grime of a harsh life. I wanted to see him the

way he should’ve been. Happy, fun, more like

Dusty than the sad, jaded soul who sat across from

me.

“I know your real, actual advice would be to

finish school and do something normal, but for the

time being, I really can’t. But I got in with a decent

studio that films gay scenes. I like it better.”

Not the best, but better at least. “What

happened to super twink bottom?” I felt bad as

soon as I said it. I knew it was a big worry for

him. I didn’t want him to get forced into doing

anything that would make things worse.

Josh looked uncomfortable. “They keep trying

to get me to do it. I’ve said no a bunch of times,

even if it is more money.”

“Hey, just don’t say yes if you don’t want to.

I’m sorry I brought it up. I know it’s not your

favorite topic.”

“It’s okay.” Josh shrugged. “Just not going to

happen anytime soon. Or ever.”

I wanted to reach out and grab his hand. I

didn’t think my gesture would be appreciated,

though. Or perhaps too much appreciated. Josh and

I had wordlessly established very strict friend

boundaries. I didn’t want to even go near them, let

alone cross them.

“What else have you been up to?” I tried to

change the subject, get him talking about anything

else but the job that seemed to depress the hell out

of him.

I got another desultory shrug. “Not much. I’ve

done some appearances for the new company. I go

to the gym. It’s pretty boring, to tell the truth. I

don’t know that many people, you know, outside of

work.”

I did reach out at that point, to put my hand on

his thin shoulder. “You’ve got me and Dusty. You

know that, right? We’re your friends.”

“Yeah. I’m really glad of that. I am.”

I tried to pretend his voice wasn’t thick. But it

was. Just the slightest conversation, a little

kindness, and he was breaking down.

“And how ’bout Lane? Didn’t you guys get

along really well at my housewarming?”

“Well, yeah.” Josh picked at the paper on his

straw. “He’s a nice guy. I actually took his number.

We were supposed to hang out sometime. It’s

just….”

“What?”

“I don’t know. I feel dumb calling him.”

I’d forgotten for a moment, with all that Josh

had gone through, that he really was just a kid.

“Call him.” I smiled, remembering the shy looks

and cute grins. “I have a feeling he’d like to hear

from you.”

The rest of my lunch with Josh was nice

enough. Nothing special, just a couple of friends

hanging out. I did harass him until he texted Lane,

and hoped that something would come of it. Not

much else happened. We ate our sandwiches and

gave each other an awkward, manly hug good-bye.

I promised to invite him over, now that the mess

with Archer had settled down some. I had quite a

bit of money to pay back to my parents and Dusty,

and I didn’t want to have to wait until Archer had

finished all his scenes, so I’d be working a lot. But

I’d have time to breathe. And see friends once in a

while. Best of all, I’d have more time for Dusty

and me. I was looking forward to it.

“HEY, you.” I flopped down on our bed and

snuggled my face into Dusty’s lap. He had his