One White Lie: Barrington Billionaire's Series: Book One (15 page)

O
h God, Lena.
He sprang from his seat and caught her in his arms before she hit the floor. He laid her on the couch and tapped her cheek lightly. “Lena.” She stirred and moaned softly. “Wake up, Lena.”

Slowly her eyes fluttered opened. “What . . . what happened?” Her voice was barely a whisper.

He was filled with relief, hearing her voice. He had never experienced such fear in his life. Everything was great, they were joking around and then boom, down she went. There hadn’t been any advanced warning. If he hadn’t been there she would have hit the floor. “You fainted.” Brice bent over and kissed her forehead. “You’re okay. I caught you.”

Lena tried to sit up, but he held her so she couldn’t move. She was still pale, and he had yet to figure out what caused her to faint in the first place.

“You’re not going anywhere until I know you are okay.” He did the only thing he knew to do, felt her forehead for a fever. She didn’t feel overly warm to him, but he was no expert. “Tell me how you’re feeling now. Does anything hurt? Your head or anything else?”

She shook her head. “A bit dizzy, that’s all. I’m sure if I lie down for a minute I’ll be okay.”

“God, baby, you scared the hell out of me.” As someone always in control, feeling helpless had not been good. “I think we should go to the hospital. Let them check you out to make sure everything is okay.”

“I’m okay. It was just a—”

Just what? Tell me what’s going on?
“Lena, if you know what happened, tell me.”

She closed her eyes and answered. “Just stress.”

“Talk to me, Lena. What’s bothering you? Let me help you.”

“I do want to . . . need to talk to you about something. Something I have been trying to talk to you about for a while.”

He knew she had wanted to talk. He had put her off several times because he didn’t want to hear about Rex. Was it something more than that? Did she need his help all this time, and he had left her to handle it alone? “I’m sorry, I should have listened before now.” Brice brushed a stray strand of her wild black curly hair away from her face. “Let’s get you settled first, then we can talk when you’re feeling up to it. And this time, I won’t interrupt you.”

Lena nodded. “I’m ready now if you are.”

Although her head still had a dull ache, she knew it was nothing compared to what Brice was about to feel. She had never fainted before, but the shock of what he had said about her having a baby must have been too much with the other stress she had been facing lately.

This is not how she envisioned starting the conversation, but at least it was going to take place.
Way overdue.

“Brice, I think you should sit down.” Lena moved her legs off the couch and sat up. “This isn’t going to be a quick conversation, and I’m sure you will have your share of questions after. And I’ll answer whatever questions you have.”

He looked at puzzled but did as she asked. Once seated near her he took her hand in his. “Okay. I’m listening.”

He held her hand, and she felt the togetherness she had been longing for. He truly was there for her, but would he be after? Was what she was about to tell him going to end what future they may have had?
Do I want a future with him?

It doesn’t matter. Brice needs to know about Nicholas, and I hope he is more receptive to being a father than he lets on.
There was only one way to find out.

“Do you remember the night we broke up?”
Ease him in. No reason to send him into shock too.

“It wasn’t my finest moment. There was a lot going on at that time, and I made a choice that I know hurt you. I want to be honest with you, though, I’m not sure if given the chance, I’d do things differently. I did what I felt I needed to do at that time.”

She wasn’t trying to make him feel guilty about their breakup, she only wanted him to recall that time. The fact that even now he would still do it all over again didn’t make this any easier. Was he better off not knowing about Nicholas?
Does he deserve to know?

“But that was a long time ago, Lena. I’m not the same person I was then.”

That was true. But in many ways it wasn’t a good thing. The person he was before was someone she could picture playing with Nicholas in the park. The man sitting next to her, holding her hand, she wasn’t so sure.

The last three weeks had brought them almost full circle to where they were right before they broke up. Was this about to be an instant replay? Would he decide again his work was the only important thing in his life?
I can protect my heart, but how do I protect Nicholas’s?

“Neither of us are, Brice. I have changed as well. But this isn’t about our breakup. It’s about so much more.” Although she needed his support and strength, Lena pulled her hand free of his. “Back then we were supposed to go out for a celebration dinner. I had told you there was something we needed to discuss, and you said we would talk about it over dinner. If you remember, that dinner didn’t happen. So I tried to talk to you at my apartment, but you weren’t in the mood to hear it then either.”

Her heart was pounding. This was more difficult than anyone could imagine. It would be so much easier if she didn’t care so damn much about him. Then his feelings and his anger would not affect her in any way.

“At that time no one could talk to me. I was furious with my father and had only one thing on my mind. I wanted to show him I didn’t need a father and that I was capable of being more without him than with him. All I wanted to do was distance myself from him in every way possible. You don’t know what it was like growing up in a house with a father who would never love you. At that time I wanted to be anything but his son.”

She could see the pain from that time hadn’t totally dissipated. Any other time and she would have reached out to him to comfort him, to let him know what a wonderful man he had turned out to be despite who his father was. That conversation would take place, but not now.

“You did what you needed to do at that time. I made choices then too. It wasn’t easy and I’m not even sure if it was the correct one, but there is no going back and changing either of ours now. All we can do is move forward.”

“I thought you wanted to talk about the past. Are you saying that it’s our future that is stressing you?”

Oh, how they blend together.
Lena wasn’t sure why she wanted him to understand what occurred back then. It didn’t change anything now. Was she delaying the evitable on purpose? Could it be that she hoped the past would be the link needed to the future?
I’m not sure, so how can I ask him?
“I do. We can’t change the past. Neither of us can. But sometimes your past has a way of creeping back in when you least expect it.”

“Do you mean Rex?” Brice’s voice was dry and cold.

Rex? God, no.
What did he have to do with any of this?
Nothing.
Was Brice actually jealous of a man who was only a friend?
If it were only so simple.
“No. Rex is only a friend. Nothing more.”

“Then what from our past do we need to bring into our future because I’m okay with leaving it there and moving on. In case you have forgotten, I’m not really a person who likes to share much. Digging up the past is something that would fall into that category.”

Our past has destined our future.
“It is what I have been trying to tell you, now and three years ago.” Taking a deep breath to summon all her courage she turned to him and met his eyes so he could see her sincerity as she spoke. “You have a son.”

It was his turn to look pale. The shock was evident and at first he had a look of disbelief. His light gray eyes turned almost black when she didn’t turn away.

“I’m a father. Since when?” His tone was as sharp as she anticipated it would be.

“That night we broke up. That was the news I wanted to share with you.” She paused momentarily. “This is what I have been trying to talk to you about.”

Brice got up and began to pace. He ran his hands through his hair and looked like he wanted to punch something. She could only imagine what he must be thinking. All these years and all that lost time. He must hate her right now, and she couldn’t blame him. She didn’t particularly like herself at this moment.

When he turned to speak the words were not something she had prepared herself for. “You’re not the woman I thought you were. The woman I loved never would have done this. I know you hated me, but why do that to him? If you didn’t want him, then you should have come to me. I would’ve raised him without you.”

Not want my son? What is he talking about? Nicholas is my life.
“I love him more than you will ever understand. Everything I did was for his best interest, never my own.”

Anger filled the room. “Is that why you gave him away? You thought I was going to be such a horrible father that you’d rather have some stranger raise him than me?”

“Brice, this had nothing to do with you.”

“It has everything to do with me.”

“I know. I mean my decision to not tell you. It wasn’t about if I thought you would be a good father. It was . . . that I wasn’t sure you wanted to be a father.”

“So you took the choice away from me? You decided on your own what was best for my son?”

“Our son,” she reminded him. “Yes, I made that choice. And I’m not sure I wouldn’t make the same choice now.” Throwing his own words back at him from earlier was mean and uncalled for, but so were his accusations.

He came to stand directly in front of her. “Do you know where he is now? How he is being treated? Is he is okay? Happy?”

“Of course I do. What kind of mother do you think I am?”

“One who gave our child away.”

Away? He thinks I didn’t keep him?
“Brice. You are wrong. My son . . . our son is my entire world. I has never been a day I was without him until recently. And that is only because you said there was a threat and I couldn’t risk him being hurt. I would die if anything happened to him.”

He glared at her. His nostrils flared as he huffed in anger. “Where is he?”

Swallowing, she knew she would have to answer. He would go, and for better or worse, everyone would know her secret.
Nicholas’s father is Brice Henderson.

“What about the threat?”

“It’s over.”

And you failed to tell me? Why? So you can keep me here under your control?
It didn’t matter anymore. After this she was sure he would pack her bags and throw her out.

“He’s at my parents’ home in Plymouth. If you would like, we can go see him now.”

Brice walked over to the counter, grabbed his cell phone and keys. “Take me to my son.”

I
t was over. She’d told him. Lena turned to look at him. She couldn’t read his expression, but could only imagine how he felt. In less than an hour he would be meeting his son for the first time.
This is a good thing. For both of them.
She wanted to call her parents, give them the heads-up, but in the heat of the moment she’d forgotten to take her phone with her. The last thing she wanted to do was ask him to use his phone.
Don’t want to look any more irresponsible than you think I am already.

That left only one option. Prepare him for what he was going to walk into. “Brice. I know you’re angry.”

“You think?”

“I would be too. But I need to ask a favor of you.”

He turned to her. His eyes still dark. “Do you believe I owe you one?”

No, you don’t. But I don’t owe you anything either.
“I’m not asking for me. This is for Nicholas and my parents.”

“Ah, my son has a name. I was wondering if you were going to tell me or make me wait another three years to find out.”

Ouch. You do know how to hurt me, don’t you?
“Brice, you can be angry with me all you want, I don’t care. I stopped caring three years ago when you cut me out of your life and never looked back. We both made mistakes. At least I have admitted to mine. I really am sorry, and I know I could say it a million times over, but it won’t change the past. We both fucked up back then but we don’t have to continue on that path now. There are people who didn’t do anything to you and don’t even know you. They are innocent in this and don’t deserve to experience your wrath.”

“My wrath? Is that what you think this is? Trust me, Lena, if it was, you wouldn’t be sitting next to me. My son would be with me and you would never see him again.”

Panic filled her. Would he do such a thing?
Can he? Take Nicholas away from me
? She knew it was a possibility and with his money and power, it would be difficult to stop him, but he had to know what that would do to her. What she had done was horrible, but that was too great a punishment. “Please Brice, I—”

“I’m not going to take him away from you, Lena. But I will be a part of his life. A very big part, do you understand?”

I wouldn’t want it any other way. It’s what is best for Nicholas. What I always wanted.
“I do. Brice, I haven’t told anyone who his father is.”

He arched a brow. “What do you mean? What did you tell your parents? Do they think you had him on your own?”

Still trying to anger me? I’m not falling for it, Brice. I have too much to lose so I’ll ignore you sharp words and keep the peace, for Nicholas.
“No. They asked. Many times. But I refused to answer. You said that no one was more important to you than
your
future. I didn’t want anyone trying to force you to see things differently. If my father had known who you were he would have insisted on sitting you down for a man-to-man talk. I didn’t want you to want Nicholas out of guilt or obligation. I wanted you only to want him out of love.”

“I’m not one who is easily intimidated, and trust me, no one could force me to do anything I didn’t want to do. Not then and sure as hell not now.”

They didn’t speak the remainder of the ride. It was uncomfortable but as they pulled up to her parents’ house, she knew it was going to get worse.
Great, my brothers are here too.

There had been so much to process on the way over. Lena may be the one who had fainted, but he was the one in shock.
I have a son.
The words replayed over and over again. He was far from happy that she had withheld the existence of Nicholas for over three years, but he knew he wasn’t without blame.
I was a total fuck-up back then. It was all about me, and I didn’t care who got hurt.

Maybe Lena’s choice had been the right one. Would he have only resented Nicholas then? Would he have felt as though she was only telling him to hold on to him? He’d been untrustworthy and very bitter.
I acted more like my father than I ever had before. I wouldn’t want my son exposed to me like that either.

Even on the way there, he was unsure if this was the correct move. Brice never reacted to anything. The only time he had was when he fought with his father. Now after Lena delivered her news, he once again was reacting, not thinking things through. He knew he needed to see Nicholas. He wanted to be part of his life. Would that be good for Nicholas?
If I am even half the person my father is, Lena should keep him away from me.

Like Lena, he had no plans to mention anything about Nicholas to his family. It would only cause more issues. For now, this was going to have to stay between him and Lena.

The limo pulled up to the house. Lena turned to him and asked, “Are you ready?”

No. I’m not sure what I am.
“Don’t worry about it.”

She went first, knocked on the door, then opened it. “Mom. Dad,” she shouted, but no one answered. “Hello, anyone home?”

There had been cars in the driveway so the house shouldn’t be vacant. “Is this your usual greeting?”

Lena turned and looked at him sharply. “No one was expecting me. I’m sure they are not far because it’s almost Nicholas’s bed time.”

Right after she said it the door opened behind them.

“Mama. Mama,” the little boy shouted again and again as he ran into Lena’s open arms.

Brice watched as she picked him up and kissed his cheeks and hugged him so tight that Brice thought she would break him.

“Oh, Nicholas. Mama has missed you so much. Do you know how much Mama loves you?”

Nicholas opened his arms as wide as they could go and laughed saying, “Dis much, Mama. Dis much.”

Lena started the hugging and kissing all over again. He could do nothing but watch the tender interaction between them. Brice never doubted she’d be a good mother. She was a wonderful person so why wouldn’t she pass that along to her child.
He
wasn’t such a nice guy. What did he have to give?
Not the lessons my father taught me.

“And who do we have here?”

“Oh, Mom, Dad, I would like to introduce you to Brice Henderson. He’s—”

“A friend of Lena’s.” He wasn’t ready to announce his paternity just yet. This child might be his son, but the reality of it all was just hitting him. Watching the bond between mother and child opened a wound of his own. He never had experienced it and wasn’t sure if he was capable of the bonding required to be a good parent.

“Welcome. I’m Ernest Razzi, Lena’s father, and this lovely lady is my wife, Mary.”

Brice shook hands with them both. “And these fine gentlemen are Gary and Tyler, Lena’s older brothers.”

“Nice meeting you all.”

“Lena. Why didn’t you tell us you were coming? I thought we weren’t going to see you until the weekend,” Mary said.

“Sorry, Mom. Something came up and there was a change of plans. I should have called.”

Mary laughed. “You never have to call. The door’s always open for you and Nicholas. You know that.”

“Yes, Mom, I do.”

“Brice, why don’t you come with us to the living room while those women sort out all their emotions? Hellos and goodbyes seem to take a long time in this house.” Ernest pointed to a room on the right. He didn’t want to sit with them. He was here for one reason only, to see Nicholas.

“We can’t stay because we have a long ride back to Boston,” Lena stated.

“Oh no you don’t. You can’t pop in like that and expect me to let you leave without even sitting down for a cup of tea.” Mary grabbed Lena by the hand, dragging her off to what must be the kitchen.

“Well, son, looks like you have no choice but to sit with us now. Looks like my wife is about to give Lena the third degree.” Ernest chuckled.

Brice glanced in the direction the women had gone.

Gary gave him a slap on the back. “Don’t even think about going in there. My mother should work for the Secret Service. Once she gets you cornered, there’s no escape. Trust me, follow my dad, much more relaxing.”

When he entered the living room he found it comfortable, lived in. Unlike the formal rooms he grew up in, which had been furnished for appearance only, this room was one that had character and was obviously utilized. There was an overstuffed couch which he could picture Lena sitting on, eating popcorn with her school friends. On the far side of the room was a piano with sheet music, waiting for someone to play. All the Hendersons played. It had been a requirement of their father. He was so rebellious then and never appreciated the gift he had been given. He played now, but it never flowed from him.
I’m no musician.
I wonder if Lena plays?
There was so much he didn’t know about her. They had both chosen to keep their family lives separate when they’d dated earlier. He knew why he hid his, but why would she hide hers? They seemed acceptable.
Maybe it was me; maybe she didn’t want them to meet me. I can’t blame her for that either
.

“Brice, how long have you and my daughter known each other?”

He wanted to laugh.
Mary is the tough one? I think you guys like to divide and conquer.
He had mastered the Q&A game long ago with his own father. He wasn’t worried about Lena’s. “For some time now.”

“Funny, I don’t remember her talking about you before.”

“I’m sure it slipped her mind,” Brice replied. He wanted the focus off him so he turned to Gary. “I believe Lena said you have your own roofing business. How has work been?”

“Almost more business than I can keep up with at this rate. It’s been a hell of a winter, and with this warmer weather, I have jobs lined up right through the fall.”

“So many businesses are struggling. Glad to hear it’s going well for you.” He was wracking his brain and couldn’t remember what she ever said Tyler did.

“You like seafood, Brice?” Tyler asked.

Bingo. Owns his own fishing boat.
“I do, and your sister says you have the best catch around.”

“That I do, but no one can cook better than our mother.”

“You’re right there, Tyler,” Ernest said before turning to Brice. “Why don’t you and Lena spend the night? Tomorrow I’m sure I can talk my wife into frying up some of that fish for you.”

Oh, you guys are good.
“I appreciate the offer Mr. Razzi—”

“Please, call me Ernest.”

“Okay, Ernest. We both have work tomorrow. Maybe another time.”

“What exactly did you say you do?” Ernest asked.

I didn’t.
“I’m a chemical engineer.”

“You mean like those pharmacies?” Gary inquired.

“No. I am more specialized. I work with plastics.”
Couldn’t make it sound much more boring than that. I don’t want anyone knowing what we do or where we do it.

“Must be doing okay with that limo out there,” Tyler said.

“It holds its own.” He looked around, hoping to see Lena and Nicholas, but no one was coming to save him. If they knew who he was and why he really was here, this visit would not be going so smoothly.

Gary was talking about a roof he was doing that had collapsed over the winter due to the weight of snow. He was only half listening. Out of nowhere he heard a thud and a loud cry coming from the other room. He instantly got up and headed in that direction.

Opening the door he saw Nicholas sitting on the floor crying. Lena was already on her way to pick him up but Brice beat her to him.

Scooping him in his arms, the boy wrapped his arms around his father’s neck. Brice rubbed his back and softly said, “It’s okay Nicholas, Daddy’s here.”

The entire room went silent, including his son. He hadn’t meant to say it and had no idea what possessed him to do so. He looked at Lena who now stood with her mouth wide open. Mary was looking at him, then Lena, then back to him. Ernest, on the other hand, was the only one able to speak.

“As I said before, why don’t you and Lena spend the night tonight? I
think
we have a lot to discuss and a good night’s rest right now is probably what we all need.” He reached his hand out to Mary’s. “Come along, dear, let’s leave these two alone with their son.” He turned to Lena and said, “You know where the guest room is.”