Only in My Dreams (5 page)

Oh. My. God
.

She really couldn't say whether she thought the words or said them out loud. She only knew that already, little lights were flashing behind her eyes. It wasn't a full orgasm like before, but the sensations and pleasure were incredible.

Then his hands were on her hips, pulling her down onto him and lifting her back up.

Oh. My. God
.

She couldn't think, couldn't process, couldn't do anything but feel him rocking into her again and again. His mouth was on her breast, sucking and pulling on her nipple, intensifying everywhere they touched.

She was pitched forward so that his cock stroked into her against her clit. She moved faster, seeking the pinnacle right before her. So many times she'd gone after it only to fall short. But this time she knew—she
knew
—she'd get there.

As if sensing her quest, he put his thumb on her clit, and she exploded. She was aware that he continued to thrust, registered the extreme pleasure radiating from her core.

He rolled her over so that he was on top, his cock driving into her. “Sorry,” he muttered darkly, “I just needed to . . . ”

She pulled his head down and kissed him as he'd done to her. He groaned into her mouth. She widened her legs and wrapped them around him, drawing him in deep. She clasped his back and moved one hand to his ass. So muscular, so tight.

He pounded into her a few more times and then shouted. She lifted her hips to meet him, giving him, she hoped, the ecstasy he'd given her. At last, they slowed.

He brushed her hair back from her face and smiled softly. “Damn, Sara.”

It was the very best thing he could've said. Her lips spread into a wide grin as exhaustion washed over her.

He withdrew from her and left the bed. She heard the bathroom door close.

She tossed some of the pillows away and pulled back the covers. Crawling between the sheets, she didn't think her bed had ever felt so deliciously good. No,
she'd
never felt so good. Sleep was typically an elusive beast, but not tonight.

Swiping the necklace off—she'd never look at that the same way again—she tossed it on the bedside table. She curled to her side, closed her eyes, and fell instantly asleep.

Chapter Three

Three weeks later

S
ARA STARED AT
the tabletop in the gathering room of her childhood home. It was the first time they'd all sat here since Alex had died two and a half weeks ago. As usual, the sides were uneven—four chairs on one, three on the other. But it wouldn't be in the future. There were only six of them now, and the chairs would be equal on both sides. That symmetry would appeal to Evan, but glancing at her brother, she knew he'd trade it in a heartbeat to have Alex back.

“Thank you for coming, as Alex requested.” The crisp, business-like tone of Alex's attorney, Aubrey Tallinger, filled the room and drew Sara back to the present. The cold, depressing present.

Next to Sara, Mom blew her nose and lowered the tissue to her lap. Her eyes were red, and her blonde hair appeared lackluster because she'd stopped spending much time on it. Instinctively, Sara reached out and touched her shoulder. Mom turned and gave her an appreciative nod just as her fingers closed over Sara's for a quick squeeze. Though Mom moved her hand to her lap, Sara kept a hold on her shoulder. Sara needed that anchor right now to calm her overstimulated senses.

“Get on with it, then,” Dad said, his voice perpetually darkened with unshed tears. Where Mom's face was blotchy, Dad's was a bit gray. It matched the strands of hair on his head that were overtaking the dark brown at a seemingly faster rate in the past two weeks.

Aubrey, standing at the end of the table where Mom usually sat, opposite Dad, smoothed her shoulder-length, wavy red hair behind her ear and gave a small nod. Sara didn't envy her. Being the focus of attention at the best of times was enough to wind Sara into a knot, but on a day like today, when her insides were threatening to erupt into some sort of breakdown, it was all she could do to simply sit still.

Be calm, Sara. Focus on what's happening. You can be here
. She squeezed her mother's shoulder to ground herself. Mom had always been the strength at the heart of their family. But how would she do that with a piece of her heart gone? At least that's what Sara imagined it must feel like to lose a child, even a twenty-seven-year-old one.

Aubrey gently cleared her throat. “Alex set up a trust last year.”
Wait, how long had he been planning to kill himself?
Sara's insides churned. “The beneficiaries are his siblings: Liam, Kyle, Tori, Evan, Sara, Hayden, and Derek.”

As she said each name, Sara looked around the table. Her brothers and sister filled her with joy and angst—blessings and curses all rolled together. She only wished she could find the joy and the blessings. Lately, they were like dreams, intangible and fleeting.

“What are we benefitting?” Hayden, the youngest by just over a year, sat directly across from Sara. His light brown hair was ruffled, like he'd tossed and turned all night and hadn't bothered to tame it. His mouth was pressed into a grim line, making him look a million miles from the lighthearted, affable brother who made them all laugh and put himself before pretty much anyone else.

“A property.” Aubrey clasped her hands in front of her. “Alex used his inheritance from your grandfather to purchase the old Ridgeview Monastery. He wants all of you to come back to—or stay in—Ribbon Ridge and convert the monastery into a premier hotel as part of Archers' entertainment brand.”

Liam held up a hand. “Whoa. What does that mean?” He glanced around the table before pinning Aubrey with a dark stare. He hadn't cried once that Sara had seen, but then he'd always been the strongest of them, the leader. He and Alex were supposed to look identical, but they'd never seemed that way to Sara. Liam was healthier, more vital, more confident. She'd expected him to lose a bit of his swagger, and she supposed he had. But he still didn't look weak. She wasn't sure he could.

Aubrey cocked her head to the side. “He wanted you all to reunite in Ribbon Ridge to oversee the transformation of the monastery into a hotel and restaurant.”

“He just expected us to drop our lives and come back here?” Liam growled, his blue-gray eyes dark with pain and anger. He'd already complained about having to spend so much time away from Denver the past couple of weeks, though he'd flown back and forth twice since Alex's death.

Dad shot Liam an irritated look. “What's wrong with that?”

“Nothing, I guess, for some people.” Liam's gaze shifted from Kyle, who was directly across from him, to Sara at the opposite end of the table. She got why Liam had looked at Kyle, but at her? Was it because she lived only forty minutes away?

Sara's defenses kicked up. She let go of Mom and put her hand in her lap. “Why are you looking at me?” Agitated, she fingered the edges of her sleeves. The tiny ridges of the cuff of her sweatshirt stroked across the pads of her thumbs and fingers. She focused on the small detail, using it to soothe her inner turmoil before she spun up into a rare sensory meltdown.

Liam shrugged, but it was the kind that carried a chill, as if he could barely be bothered to be here. “It's easy for you to come home. You practically
are
home.”

She looked at him sharply. “But I'm not. Like you, I run a successful business.” Not as large as his real estate empire, but Sara Archer Celebrations was nothing to scoff at. “I can't just pick up and move home.”

Liam's eyes narrowed but he quickly looked away. Sara bit her tongue. She wanted to rail at him—at all of them. Emotions she'd buried for so long bubbled up, but she swallowed them back. None of them realized how hard it had been for her to move even forty minutes away or the sense of accomplishment that gave her.

Coming back to Ribbon Ridge would interrupt the life she'd built for herself and thrust her back into a situation where she was labeled and coddled and . . .
forget it
. Her muscles tensed.

“Shall I continue?” Aubrey asked quietly.

“Please,” Mom said with an edge of frustration.

Aubrey gave a subtle nod. “Like the pubs your father's company owns, the hotel will pour Archer brews, and its restaurant will also offer five-star cuisine under the direction of Kyle.”

Everyone's gaze snapped to Kyle, seated at the end of Sara's side of the table. Despite his tan, he looked washed out, as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, not at all like the carefree beach bum who'd run to south Florida nearly four years ago. His blue-green eyes found hers and he shook his head, his jaw clenching.

Sara wanted to kick him. An opportunity was falling into his lap, and his reaction was to act like he didn't want it? It shouldn't have surprised her given how he'd ditched town, but it still hurt. She peered at him around Mom and Tori, who sat between them. “You should consider it.”

He showed no sign that he'd heard her.

Mom clasped Sara's hand. “Your sister's right. I hope you'll at least think about it.”

When Kyle still didn't respond, Aubrey coughed delicately. “You'll each own one-seventh of the property and the businesses on the property, which Alex envisioned as a hotel and restaurant at a minimum. He set aside specific roles for each of you.”

Liam shook his head. “I already have a job.”

Kyle crossed his arms and glared across the table at Liam. “Because your life is so much more important than anyone else's. It's fine for me and Sara, and probably everyone else, to come home, but not you?”

“I didn't say that, but as long as you mentioned it . . . ” Liam leaned forward and set his elbows on the table, fixing Kyle with a probing stare. “Just what's keeping
you
from coming back here and honoring Alex's wish? Your
über
important bartending job? The roots you haven't put down in Florida?”

Kyle's eyes flashed. “Don't make assumptions.”

“Am I wrong?”

“You're an arrogant prick.”

Liam shrugged, but the tense set of his shoulders said he was anything but nonchalant. “An arrogant prick who's apparently right.”

“Boys.” Mom's voice quavered, but it earned everyone's attention. “I know we're all hurting. Please don't take it out on each other.”

Tori blew her nose, which was red from crying. Without makeup and with her long, straight, auburn hair pulled back in a ponytail, she looked young and vulnerable, a word she'd hate to be used to describe her. Tori was as type A as people came. She turned her head toward Aubrey. “You said Kyle is supposed to manage the restaurant. I assume Alex wants—wanted—me to design the hotel?” It made sense because she was an architect at a firm in San Francisco that designed high-end hotels and restaurants around the world.

Aubrey nodded. “Yes. Liam would oversee the entire project; Evan, the technical aspects of the business; Sara would establish the property as a premier entertainment space; Hayden would manage the hotel; and Derek would work the financials.”

Hayden linked his fingers together on the tabletop. His lips pressed together in annoyance as he glanced at Liam. “We
all
have jobs. I can't just stop working for Archer Enterprises to manage this hotel.”

Liam nodded in agreement. “Exactly. I sure as hell can't walk away from my business in Denver.”

“You've made that pretty clear.” Evan's deep voice drew everyone's notice. He bent his head back toward the table where his fingers were systematically taking a pen apart and putting it back together again. He hadn't cried either, but he kept everything to himself for the most part, which made it hard to determine what he was feeling, if anything. Sara never pressed him—she alone knew what it was like to be so overwhelmed by your surroundings that you simply couldn't process anything.

Aubrey looked around the table. “Alex knew you'd be resistant. He wanted me to remind you that he's never asked anything of any one of you, and while you were off pursuing your dreams, he was stuck here, hooked to an oxygen tank and visiting doctors on a weekly basis. He hoped you would pull together to try to rebuild the family you once had.”

Is that how Alex had seen it? Sara glanced at Derek, whose face was stoic but who had nodded while Aubrey spoke. His dark blue eyes were a bit bloodshot, likely from all the hours he was putting in at Archer Enterprises. Work soothed him, or so he said.

Derek made no secret that he didn't understand why they'd all left home. He'd come to live with them after being orphaned at seventeen. Though he'd never been formally adopted, he was as much a part of their family as any of them. “You should all come, even if it's only intermittently as your schedule allows. Every single one of you can make that happen,” he said quietly. “You're a family, and you should feel damn lucky to have each other.”

“Except we can't ever be that family again,” Tori said softly. “Not without him.”

Derek's eyes lit like a fire had been stoked behind them. “Even more reason to do it. What else will it take for you to appreciate what you have?” His gaze lingered on Kyle—they'd been best friends before Derek had joined their family and up until Kyle had left. The precise reason for their rift was unknown to anyone but them, and it was clearly as wide as ever.

Sara wanted to crawl out of her skin. The anxiety and tension building inside of her were reaching a fever pitch. If she didn't move, she was going to freak out. She leapt out of her chair and walked around the table to the windows.

Without turning to look at the table, Sara knew every single one of them had watched her get up. A few might even be tempted to come after her to offer help. She hoped they wouldn't.

“Sara?” The question came from Aubrey, and Sara's shoulders sagged with relief. She didn't want to be coddled, but she knew she was breaking down. Damn it, she thought she'd moved past all of this.