Only Mine (24 page)

She was right. He'd never planned on staying in Fool's Gold. He'd never wanted to come here in the first place. But he was glad he had. Being here had taught him to trust his brothers. Being here had allowed him to see they were adults and he could let go. Being here had even given him the opportunity to fall in love with Dakota.

His gaze drifted to Hannah. Sure, he didn't want to take on any more responsibility, but this was different. She was a great kid, and he already knew her. Plus the idea of a little girl was fun. There would probably be a whole lot fewer broken windows. He hadn't thought he would get seriously involved for a while, if ever, but life wasn't always tidy.

“I'm pregnant.” She bit her lower lip. “I know this is a shock. I know I told you I couldn't get pregnant and it was true. Well, obviously not completely true, but the doctor said it was unlikely and it was a one in one million chance and it's probably because you have really good swimmers and…” She stared at him. “I'm pregnant.”

Pregnant.

He knew what the word meant intellectually. He knew where babies came from. He'd known that since he was ten. But pregnant?

He wanted to stand and raise his fist to the heavens.
This was not supposed to happen. She'd told him she couldn't get pregnant, and he'd believed her.

She was still talking, but he wasn't listening. The occasional word slipped through. Something about a small chance. Something about them getting lucky.

He stared at her. “Lucky? You think this is lucky?” Now he did rise to his feet. “This isn't lucky. This is a scam. Was there ever anything wrong with you? Or were you just trying to trick me?”

Even as he asked the question, he already knew the answer. Dakota wouldn't trick him. That wasn't her style. She'd been honest from day one. But damn. Why the hell had this happened?

She scrambled to her feet and pulled Hannah into her arms. The baby gurgled and held out her hands to him.

“I didn't do this on purpose.” Dakota's voice was quiet with determination.

He shoved his fists into his jeans pockets and stalked across the room. “I know that,” he said, nearly yelling. “But this isn't what I wanted. Not now. Not again. I just got free and now I'm trapped again.”

“You're not trapped. You're not anything. Feel free to walk away.” She raised her chin. “We don't need you here, Finn. I'm telling you because it's the right thing to do. Not because I want anything from you.”

Which sounded good but wasn't the least bit believable. After all, she'd started this conversation by telling him she loved him. Was that even true? Maybe it was
all a way to lull him into a false sense of security. Or to make him feel obligated, so when she sprung the pregnancy on him, he would instantly want to be a part of things.

“How do I know this wasn't just a big game to you?” he asked her.

“There are no winners here.” She shrugged. “I thought you'd want to know that you're going to be a father. But don't concern yourself. I can see it in your eyes. You want to run. Fine. Go ahead. There's the door and I'm not stopping you.”

 

I
N THAT SECOND
when he just stood there, Dakota held her breath. She desperately hoped she was wrong, that Finn would want to stay. That somehow he'd realize he loved her back and that they belonged together.

As she watched, she saw the emotional door swing shut and knew that she'd lost. Before he bothered walking out, she knew he was already gone.

T
REE-COVERED MOUNTAINS
stretched for as far as Finn could see. The sky was blue, the sun bright, even though it was after nine in the evening. This time of year, the northern parts of Alaska got close to twenty hours of daylight.

He'd already completed two flights in the past twenty-four hours. When he flew back to South Salmon, he would rest for a while, then do it all over again. Orders were backed up, and he owed Bill. His partner had been damned understanding about his extended absence.

The controls of the plane were familiar. He didn't have to think to fly—being in the sky, defying gravity, was as natural to him as breathing. This was all he'd ever needed.

In the distance he saw storm heads. The thick, dark clouds could have been a problem, but he knew the weather as well as he knew the sky. The clouds would pass west of him. By the time he was leaving again, the weather would have moved on.

Despite the steady drone of the engine, there was a relative silence. A sense of peace. No one sat next to him. No one waited for him when he landed. He could
do what he wanted, when he wanted. He finally had the freedom he'd spent the past eight years longing for.

As he got closer to the South Salmon airport, he reported his approach and headed in to land. When the wheels touched down, he steered the plane toward the hangars he and Bill owned. His partner was waiting for him by the main building.

Bill was a tall, thin guy in his early forties. His father and Finn's father had worked together in the business. There was a lot of history between them.

“How did it go?” Bill asked. “You've been flying a lot of hours.”

Finn handed over the clipboard containing the signed delivery receipts, as well as the plane's log. “I'm going to get some rest now. I'll be back about four.”

He meant four in the morning. Shifts started early in the summer. They wanted to take advantage of as much daylight as possible. Flying was a whole lot easier when you could see everything.

Bill took the clipboard. “You adjusting okay?”

“Sure. Why do you ask?”

His partner shrugged. “You're not the same. I don't know if you're missing something or someone, or if it's having your brothers gone. There's a lot of new business, Finn. A couple contracts and other folks interested in signing. I've got them for you to look at. The thing is, if you're not going to be here, then I need to hire new pilots. Maybe bring in my cousin.”

His partner looked at him. “Do you want me to buy
you out? I can. My in-laws have offered me the money. I could pay about half in cash and get a bank loan for the rest. If you're not sure, this is the time to tell me.”

Sell the business. He couldn't say he hadn't been thinking about it. Three months ago he would have sworn everything he wanted was in South Salmon. Now he wasn't so sure. His brothers had left and they weren't looking back. They'd found it surprisingly easy to make a life somewhere else. He had new ideas about what he wanted to do with his life. Run charters, teach kids to fly.

And then there was Dakota. He missed her. As much as he didn't want to, as much as he was pissed and wondering if she'd done her best to trick him—even though he knew in his gut she hadn't—he wanted to be with her. He wanted to see her and hold her and laugh with her. He wanted to watch Hannah grow from a baby to a toddler, then into a little girl with bright eyes and a ready smile.

As for the baby… He couldn't go there. The thought of it overwhelmed him. He'd never considered the idea of more kids. From the day his parents had died, he'd always told himself that when his brothers were finally ready to walk away, he would do all the things he'd missed. He would go where he wanted, do what he wanted. He would be free. He never wanted to “have to” do anything again.

As much as he'd loved his brothers, there had been days he'd resented having to take care of everything. At
a time when most guys his age were screwing everything that walked and partying with friends, he was checking homework, doing laundry and learning how to cook. He'd balanced work and parenting. He'd had to be both mother and father, and every single day he'd wondered if he'd been messing it up.

“Finn?”

Finn looked at his partner. “Sorry.”

“You were somewhere else.”

“The past.”

“About the business?” Bill asked. “Can you get back to me by the end of the week?”

“By Friday,” he promised.

Bill nodded and walked away.

Finn stayed where he was. There was a post-flight check to be done on the plane and paperwork to finish. But instead of moving on that, he found himself thinking about Dakota and how she would have to be both mother and father to her two children. She'd sought out the adoption, but the baby was as unexpected to her as it was to him.

He was sure she'd meant what she'd told him—that she had no expectations. That he could walk away. She would probably draw up one of those agreements where he gave up all rights to the kid and she gave up all rights to financial support. She wouldn't want him to feel trapped.

Which should have made him happy. It had taken eight long years, but he was finally exactly where he
wanted to be. Free. He could go anywhere, do anything. Hell, if he sold the business to Bill, he would have freedom and cash. Life didn't get any better than that.

 

“I'
M FINE
,” Dakota insisted, speaking the words for the fourth or fifth hundredth time. “Completely and totally fine.”

Both her sisters stared at her, as if not convinced. The statement would probably have been a little more believable if her eyes weren't red and puffy from all her crying. During the day she managed to be brave, but as soon as she was alone at night, she kind of lost it.

“You're not fine and you shouldn't be,” Nevada told her. “You told Finn you loved him and he left. He didn't say anything, he just walked away. You're left here, pregnant with his baby and completely alone.”

“Thanks for the recap,” Dakota murmured. “Now I sound pathetic.”

“You don't,” Montana said quickly. “You sound like you've been through a lot and you have. You're strong. You'll be okay.” She and Nevada exchanged a quick look.

“What?” Dakota demanded. She wasn't surprised they'd been talking about her behind her back, but she was concerned that they'd reached a conclusion that hadn't occurred to her.

They were at Jo's bar, with
Project Runway
playing on the big screen and HGTV on the smaller TVs. Denise had insisted Hannah spend the night, probably to give the
sisters time to be alone. As the baby adored her grandmother, Dakota wasn't worried about her daughter.

“It's a big thing, finding out about the baby,” Montana said carefully, as if expecting Dakota to blow up at her.

“I know that.”

“He probably needs a little time. You needed time.”

“I was willing to give him time,” she said, doing her best not to clench her teeth as she clutched her glass of cranberry juice. “This isn't a time thing. He
left
. It's the leaving I object to. He stayed in town after his brothers had moved on right up until I told him I loved him and that I was pregnant. That's when he walked out. Left for Alaska that night. No call, nothing.”

She'd never been left before. Not like this. The closest feeling she had was when her dad had died. That, too, had been unexpected. There was no arguing, no bargaining. There was just absence and pain.

“It's so like a guy to walk away,” Nevada said. “Now you know he's that type.”

“What type?”

“He disappears rather than faces responsibility. He only cares about himself.”

Dakota shook her head. “That's not fair. Finn doesn't do that. He's spent the past eight years raising his brothers. He had to give up everything to take care of them.”

“Look how that turned out,” Nevada muttered.

“What do you mean? They're great guys.”

“One of them wants to be an actor and the other is dating a woman nearly twice his age.”

Dakota straightened. “That's not true.”

“Sasha doesn't want to be an actor? He didn't move to L.A., abandoning his college education one semester from finishing?”

“Yes, but—”

Nevada shrugged. “You're better off without him.”

“No, I'm not.” The unfair assessment startled her. “There's nothing wrong with Sasha following his dream. Should he have finished college? Maybe. But he can go back later. It's not going anywhere. As for Aurelia, she's nine years older than Stephen, as you very well know. She's sweet and they're great together. Stephen is going back to college. He's studying engineering, something you can relate to.”

She felt herself getting angry. “Where do you get off being so judgmental? Finn is a good man. He's proven that over and over again. I don't regret our relationship and I sure as hell don't need you making unfounded comments about him and his brothers.”

Nevada picked up her drink and smiled. “Just checking.”

“Checking what?”

“To see if you're still in there.”

Dakota opened her mouth, then closed it. “What does that mean?”

“You're too accepting of this,” Montana said, leaning toward her. “You can't be happy Finn left, but you're all
Zen about it. What's up with that? Why didn't you fight for what you wanted?”

“Fight? I can't force him to want to be with me.”

“No, but there's a whole ocean between doing nothing and forcing him.”

Nevada nodded. “Come on. When you wanted to get into that special grad program so you could get your masters and Ph.D. at the same time, did you just put in your application and wait? No. You pestered the department chair until he nearly put a restraining order out on you. When you needed a classroom of kids for your thesis research, you knocked on teachers' doors for weeks until you found exactly what you were looking for, then you got her to agree.”

“When you found out you couldn't have kids without help,” Montana added, “you put in your application for adoption, went through all the studies and home visits and adopted a kid. You do things, Dakota. You're quiet about it and you don't expect people to notice, but we do. You've always gotten things done. So why are you being so passive now?”

She felt both praised and scolded. “I'm not being passive. I'm giving Finn time to come to terms with what he wants to do.”

“What about what you want?” Nevada asked. “Isn't that important?”

“Sure, but…”

“There are no buts,” Montana reminded her. “Remember what Yoda said? ‘Do or do not. There is no try.'”

“You can sit on your butt and wait for him to decide,” Nevada said. “Or you can take control of your destiny. I know you're scared.”

“I'm not scared.”

They both stared at her, eyebrows raised in identical expressions of disbelief.

She sighed. “I'm a little scared,” she admitted. Confronting Finn did mean taking charge of her life, but it also meant facing the fact that he might tell her he just plain wasn't interested. That she wasn't for him.

She didn't think he was going to walk away from his child. It might take him a while, but eventually he would show up and want to be a part of his or her life. Finn would be a great father, but was he interested in being a husband?

“I thought the people on the show were stupid,” she said slowly. “I thought they were desperate and that I should feel sorry for them. But they were simply looking to fall in love. Something nearly everyone wants. At least they did something about it. What have I done?”

She half expected her sisters to defend her, but they were both silent. Talk about truth in communication, she thought, both bemused and a little hurt. Then she reminded herself that it didn't matter what anyone thought but her and Finn. They were the ones this was all about.

She knew what
she
wanted. She wanted a happily-ever-after kind of ending with the man she loved. She wanted to marry him and raise children with him. She
wanted a house full of kids and dogs, with a cat or two and carpooling and soccer practice. She wanted a little of what her parents had, with a twist that made it all their own.

But what did Finn want? She knew that eventually he would figure it out and tell her. But was giving him the time he needed being mature or being afraid?

He'd heard her say that she loved him and that she was pregnant, but she'd never had the chance to tell him the rest of it. About how she saw their future and that being responsible wasn't all bad. There were many wonderful rewards.

“I'm not going to wait,” she said as she slid out of the booth. “I'm going to South Salmon to talk to him.”

“There's an Alaska Airlines flight out of Sacramento at six in the morning,” Nevada told her. “You connect with the flight to Anchorage in Seattle.” She pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it over. “I made a reservation earlier. You can pay for it when you get to the airport.”

Dakota couldn't believe it. “You planned this?”

“We hoped,” Montana told her. “We were also arguing with Mom about who gets Hannah tomorrow night.”

Dakota felt tears filling her eyes, but for the first time in days, her crying wasn't about being sad or having lost what mattered most. She waved her sisters out of the booth, then hugged them.

“I love you,” she said as she held them close.

“We love you, too,” Nevada told her. “Warn Finn that
if he's an idiot, we'll send all three of our brothers after him. He can run, but he won't be able to hide forever.”

Dakota laughed.

Montana kissed her cheek. “We'll keep it all together here. Don't worry. Just go find Finn and drag his butt back here.”