Only One (3 page)

The dream, as usual, was still as clear as a Kodak picture in my memory. I was leaving for college the next day to play ball for Alabama and wanted so badly to know what it was like to kiss her before I left. Annabelle planned to take a year off after high school to “find herself”, whatever the hell that meant. I just assumed she’d go to school for photography, considering she always had her camera either hanging from her neck or tucked under the front seat of her car. But she wanted to give acting a try, and, just like always, she was going to do what she wanted to do.

Personally, I was surprised Dane was allowing her to give up on college. But I also knew they would do anything to make her happy. It made some sense to me, so I never questioned it. Belly always had her reasons for everything she did, including the way she’d looked at me that night as we sat on her mama’s old porch swing.

Everyone was inside but us. Nervous, I put my arm around her and pulled her close to me, knowing it was my last chance. “I’m gonna miss you the most out of everyone. You know that right?”

I thought I heard her sniffle. She just looked up at me and said, “You’re going to be a big, old football star with that arm, and every girl is going to want you wrapped around her so she can call you hers. You’ll forget about me, Cole, but I’ll never forget about you.” Her lips collided with mine so quickly that it caught me off guard, and then poof, she was gone, leaving me breathless. She stormed off that swing so fast I couldn’t catch her before she ran inside and up the stairs. Everyone, including her daddy, turned around to look at me like I did something wrong when I stormed in after her. Instead of answering them or running up those stairs to get that damn kiss, I just shook my head, walked out the door and went straight home that night, more confused about women than ever.

It has been three years since that evening long ago, but considering it has been on auto replay every night since then, I remember it well. I lay in bed with my hand down my shorts, thinking of her and life and what I was doing with it. I had been staring up at my old beat up fan hanging from my ceiling, just watching the blades go around and around thinking about what she’d said to me, when I heard the knock. I glanced over to my semi-opened window to find Annabelle perched up on the tree, looking like something was wrong as she stuck her foot inside. I hurried over to help her, so she didn’t fall down, since they’d probably blame me for that one, too. “What the hell are you doing?” I asked firmly as I peeked down to the ground outside, and then relaxed once she was safely in my room.

“I needed to see you before you left.”

“Why?” Usually, Annabelle and I were inseparable, but lately she’d been distant, and it pissed me off more than I liked to admit.

She strutted past me toward my bed and sat down, gripping my pillow on her lap. “Who were you thinking of with your hand under your blanket like that?”

I shook my head. “I wasn’t doing anything, Belly. Now answer my question. What the hell are you doing here at two in the morning?”

She took a deep breath and looked up into my eyes, with tears pooling in hers. Her head tilted to the side, and she whispered, “I don’t really know what I’m doing here. I just…I got to thinking that you were really leaving me tomorrow and we may never see each other again.”

I knelt down in front of her to calm her, tossing the pillow on the floor, but she spoke first.

“Cole, you’re going to be someone big someday, and I’ll just be someone you used to know,” she looked away and then back at me. “Someone you’ll maybe come home to visit over the holidays.”

I spread her legs apart to scoot closer and pull her in for a hug. “Belly, I will never forget you, no matter what happens with me and football. How can you think that? I love you and I always will, even as just friends.”

“I love you, too, Cole.” When she said those words, I froze. I must’ve sat there holding on to her for dear life for what seemed like hours, trying to make sense of how she meant them. Did she love me as a man? Did she love me as a friend? Had she just say it because I did? Did she love me like I loved her?

Did she?

Did she?

Did she?

So many questions ran through my brain before I pulled back.

Her make-up was dripping down her face along with her tears. I touched my lips to hers. It started out as a sweet friendly kiss, one I had no intentions of taking further than soothing her some, but Annabelle’s mouth wanted something more that night, and I never could tell that girl no. I broke away breathlessly. “I promise you that we’ll use face time, and we’ll talk whenever you need someone to listen, and hey, you can always come visit and see one of my games.” She ran her hand slowly, ever so slowly down the side of my face. Each touch was like a punch to my heart as she stared into my eyes.

I swallowed hard. My brain was still trying to figure out where this surprise visit from her was going.

“Cole, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, anything.”

She paused for a full minute, and I know this because I counted every one of those painfully quiet seconds. “Do you think you love me enough to be with me tonight?”

I gulped again, not sure if I understood her question correctly. At this point she needed to spell it out for me. “What do you mean… be with, Annabelle?”

She ran her hand down my face one last time and then stopped. She bit down on her lip and furrowed her brow for a second. Then she lifted her tank top straight over her head. My breath caught in my throat at the site of a lacy, black bra staring right into my face and showing off the perfect rack that I knew she had. Those sexy little bikinis she wore all the time had given me many a wet dream. But when her breasts were shoved at me with no warning, no flare gun or countdown to let me know it was gonna happen, well, it messed with my head.

A helluva lot.

Any other time I wouldn’t have a problem with this whole scenario, but, shit, this was my Belly we were talking about. And she was offering herself up to me on a silver platter.

“What are you doing?” I asked her again.

Her hands disappeared behind her back. “I have a secret, Cole.”

When her bra dropped to her waist my eyes drifted lower. I gulped, suddenly unable to find an ounce of spit to swallow, my throat was so dry. “What kind of secret?”

She lifted my chin so I was forced to look up into her eyes instead of at her chest. “I know you think I slept with Tate, but I never did.”

“What?” I asked, exasperated and shocked. I didn’t even know what else was running through my head. “Bullshit! He told everyone that you two did it all the time.”

She shook her head and brushed away the tears from her eyes. “I don’t know why I let people believe that of me. Maybe it was because everyone else was doing it and was bragging about it. I just wanted to fit in with all my friends. And luckily Tate didn’t want anyone to know that he wasn’t getting laid.”

“Oh, man,” I muttered, rubbing the back of my neck, trying to make heads or tails of what she had said. If I had known the truth I probably would’ve gone after her ages ago. I always thought they were so solid and didn’t want to mess anything up for her. “I thought you loved him, Belly. What happened?”

She shrugged one shoulder as I took a seat next to her on my bed. “I realize my timing sucks, Cole, and I don’t expect anything, but I broke up with Tate last week. I liked him, I did. But I never loved him.”

“You did? You broke up with him?” How the hell did I not know any of this? Gossip flew so fast around here that it could make a person’s head spin.

“Yeah.” She smiled shyly. “Cole.” She paused and turned to me. “I’ve always loved you, too. I just never trusted the two of us to keep it going. Our families are so close, I mean heck, we even call each other’s parents Aunt and Uncle. What if something happened to break all that up? We’re all too close. It would be devastating.”

This comment brought me back to the night I’d jumped in those murky waters after her junior year of high school. Annabelle lived through that near drowning ordeal with a nasty migraine and an overnight stay in the hospital to keep an eye on her lungs. I, on the other hand, took a hit to the heart. Her Daddy took one look at me that night and I knew he blamed me for not keeping a better eye on her. Hell, I blamed myself, too.

I loved Dane, but damn, that man could sure intimidate a person with one look, and if he didn’t do the job, his brother Josh did. You’d think those three kids were his the way he patrolled every back road to keep their asses in line. Josh was now married--finally. No one ever thought that day would come, but apparently hell did freeze over and pigs flew, because he finally settled down and started his own family. We were more afraid of him than of Dane and Ashton. And Aunt Ashton was not one to fuck with. Ever.

If it hadn’t been for the bond between our families, I’m sure things would be different, but sadly they were not. I had to endure countless dinners sitting next to Belly, pretending like I never said those three words to her the summer before and then, when it was almost too late, she dropped the L word on me, giving me hope.

“Wait a minute!” I almost shouted, but held back for fear of my folks hearing us. I grabbed her hands in mine, pretending not to notice she was half-naked on my bed. On my fucking bed. I’d only dreamt about this exact scenario a zillion times. “You’re telling me I lost all those years with you because I call your mama and daddy, aunt and uncle?”

She nodded ever so slightly, like she was ashamed to admit it to me.

“Damn it, Annabelle. Why would you do that? We could have worked through all that. Years, Belly, years I wanted you. Shit, girl, I’ve wanted you since we were in the seventh grade.” I could hear my own plea, the strain in my voice, devastated that we’d wasted all this time.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, and I could hear her crying again.

“Fuck,” I said quietly, and then pulled her over. “Come here.” And there I was, holding on to the only girl I’d ever loved, and she was sporting nothing but her shorts. She shivered as I pulled her into me, wrapping my arms so tightly around her I was afraid I might break her in half. Her skin was so warm, so soft, so fucking soft that that was all I could think of.

She was a little thing compared to me, and I’d always loved that about her. I pulled back when she lifted her head off my shoulder and went to kiss her cheek, but she moved that extra inch that I was too much of a pussy to, and my mouth landed on hers. I couldn’t have stopped if I wanted to at that point. Her mouth tasted so sweet, and hearing her whisper my name as I kissed her completely shattered me to pieces. “I’ve always loved you, Cole. It’s always been you.”

As we kissed I slowly laid her back on my bed, not wanting to let go of her. But my hands were greedy, seeing as my imagination of what she felt like was absolutely nothing like the real thing. I’d been with other girls, but when my hands skimmed over the softness of her stomach, I swore there was no better feeling than that warm, soft, tanned skin under my fingers. We kissed forever that night, soft and sweet as we got to know each other in a whole other way than before. I glanced at the alarm at one point when I stopped to take a breath and sighed, knowing the sun would rise soon. And I knew if we were going to be together that night, it needed to happen before that damn rooster woke up the house.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked her.

She cupped my face with her hands. “It has to be you, Cole. It can’t be, and it shouldn’t be anyone else but you.”

I swallowed hard, knowing that she was giving me the green light to keep going. I reached over to my night table and pulled out a condom from my wallet. “I promise I won’t hurt you. We’ll figure something out.” Then I experienced something that not once had I ever felt before or since. I knew that I had loved her for what had seemed like forever, and holding on to her at that moment I knew I’d been right, all along. Annabelle was home to me. It was always her and always would be. The love I thought I had for her before had been nothing like the way it felt holding her in my arms like she was mine. Really mine.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

She grabbed my face and kissed me hard before assuring me. “No, Cole, you won’t.”

I couldn’t stop touching ever inch of her skin, kissing the lips I’ve dreamt about. I pushed back the soft hair that fell across her face to look into her eyes. Her hand lowered until it rested just above the band of my basketball shorts I slept in. The rush I got from just the warmth of her hand resting on my waist was almost too much for me to believe could be true. I knew that night would most likely mess with my head forever, but I was too far gone to care. Belly was in my bed and she wanted me.

As I reached down to unzip her shorts a million sensations rushed through me. Nerves were at the top of the list, right next to the overwhelming sensation that tonight was it, my one shot at Annabelle Woods. I needed to take it slow, commit every touch, every look like it was a photograph engrained into my brain to recall when necessary. Every bone in my body told me this was Annabelle’s goodbye to me, only I desperately wanted to believe after all these years it would finally be her hello.

Slowly I tugged on the denim until her shorts were low enough that I felt her kick them off. I threw mine on the floor, my body rattled with nerves. I rolled on top of her and ran my fingers through her hair. I could tell she felt how much I needed and wanted her by the worry written all over her face, so I kissed her softly on the tip of her nose. “You okay?”

She nodded slightly. “Yeah, never better.”

“Annabelle…I,” I started.

“Shh,” she whispered as she sat up and threw her arms around my neck, pulling me down. “It’s okay, Cole.”

I don’t remember much after that, other than kissing every square inch of her beautiful face that I could before I sank into her. Sometimes I felt like it never happened. Even though the memory is there and I can see her lying underneath me like it was yesterday, I felt like I blacked out and went straight past those pearly gates, since I couldn’t recall anything else but how it felt like god made her just for me when I slipped inside her.