Only You (4 page)

“Aunt Edna!” Theo scolded
.  “What is wrong with you?”

Edna was practically wheezing.  “Let’s pray no one noticed him sitting at our table!”  She grabbed her napkin and fanned her face, peeking at the other guests.

“Mr. Grey?  He seems perfectly respectable to me.”

“He would!” Edna said.  “What am I to think, Theo?  I’m glad your father wasn’t here to see this!  He’d assume I’m having no beneficial effect on your character.”

Susan piped up.  “Are you going to swoon, Mother?  I thought you were made of sterner stuff than that.”

“Don’t be smart, Susan,” Edna snapped.

“I can’t help it,” Susan responded, “not when you’re acting like a silly goose.”

“If I need sarcasm from you, I’ll ask for it,” Edna told her daughter.

“And if I need sarcasm from
you,
” Susan sassed, “I’ll let you know too.”  She pushed back her chair and stood.  “I’ll be up in my suite.”

She stomped off, and Theo fought the urge to beg her to stay for what apparently would be a very difficult conversation. 

Susan and Edna were constantly at odds, their rancor a trying experiment in tact and good manners.

Susan wasn’t in quite as much disgrace as Theo, but only because her situation had remained a secret rather than the sort of very public fiasco Theo’s had been.  In London, Susan had immersed herself in a very inappropriate flirtation with a bohemian artist named Neville Pinkerton.  Susan had brazenly announced that he’d proposed and she was inclined to accept.

The declaration had sent Edna into a flurry of packing and traveling, with her being determined to wrench Susan from Mr. Pinkerton’s clutches.  Susan had been forced into the trip to Egypt just as Theo had been forced, with her mother insisting that time and distance would quell Susan’s improper infatuation.

Theo had never discussed Neville Pinkerton with Susan, so she couldn’t guess if there had been true affection between them or if Susan was simply using Mr. Pinkerton to torment her mother.  Susan was suffering through the same issues Fenton was suffering with Edna.  Edna had been absent for all their lives, and with Susan now an adult, she didn’t relish Edna swooping in and taking charge.

Edna had been the army wife of a prominent soldier, and she was accustomed to barking out orders and having them obeyed.  She hadn’t figured out that Susan wouldn’t bow to edicts she deemed idiotic.

“That was unpleasant,” Edna murmured after Susan disappeared.  She poured herself more tea and commenced drinking it as if no quarrel had occurred.

“Could we get back to my bad character?” Theo said, incensed over her aunt’s treatment of Mr. Grey.  “Why was it shocking to bring Mr. Grey here?  You were incredibly rude to him.”

“With valid reason!”

“Tell me what it is.  I’m terribly embarrassed, and I hope I don’t bump into him.  I’d have no idea how to explain your behavior.”

“You’d better not bump into him.  In fact, should you encounter him, I command you to turn and hurry away.”

“Yes, I can’t wait to insult him again.”  Theo scoffed.  “You’re acting a tad deranged.”

“Trust me.  If you give Mr. Grey the cut direct, he won’t be surprised.  He’ll know precisely why.”

“I’ve never
cut
anyone in my life, and I’m not about to start with him.”

“It doesn’t matter.  I’m sure we won’t see him again.  His identity has been exposed, so he won’t dare approach us, but if we do cross paths, I’m afraid I’ll have to put my foot down.  You will
not
speak to him.”

“You haven’t supplied a single detail that would make me heed you.”

“How about this?  He’s an unrepentant murderer.”

Theo laughed.  “He’s what?”

“A murderer.”

“For pity’s sake, Aunt Edna.  I refuse to listen to such drivel.”

“You think I’m lying?”

“Yes.”

“It merely reinforces my opinion of you, Theo.  You have no ability to judge another person’s temperament.  If you did, you wouldn’t be in the mess you are now.”

“Nothing happened with Lord Trent,” Theo insisted for the thousandth time.

“You were alone in a dark parlor with England’s most infamous roué, and you didn’t have the sense to run out.  You still don’t understand why you’re disgraced.  Talk about drivel.”

Theo sighed.  “I’m going upstairs to join Susan.  There’s no point in chatting when you’re being horrid.”

“Horrid!”  Edna harrumphed.  “I leave you on your own for an hour, and you trot off to the bazaar with Fenton for a chaperone.  It’s the only occasion on this entire journey that you had a minute to yourself, and the first thing you do is strike up an acquaintance with that amoral, homicidal fiend.”

“Homicidal fiend!  That’s really the limit.”

“I’m not exaggerating.”

“No, but you are being hysterical.  I’m hot and fatigued, and my dress is torn.  I need to wash and change my clothes, and I’m not in the mood to be scolded, particularly when you’ve delivered the same lecture about my failings every second since we sailed from London.”

Edna leaned forward, her lips pursed like the grumpiest shrew.  “For your information, your Mr. Grey—”

“He’s not
my
Mr. Anything.”

Edna ignored her complaint and continued.  “He’s the bastard son of an earl and his mother a notorious doxy, but his father liked him.  He actually brought the boy into his home and raised him there as if such conduct were perfectly acceptable.”

Theo couldn’t figure out a suitable reply to such a peculiar situation, so she mumbled, “Well…bully for him.”

“When Mr. Grey’s father passed away, he had recently wed.  He had a young son, a lawful son, who was his rightful heir.”

“Fine.  He had a son.  Why are you telling me this?”

“Soloman Grey was appointed as the baby’s guardian, and before his father was cold in the ground, the baby vanished.”

“Vanished?  What do you mean?”

“What do you think I mean?”

Theo frowned, pondered, frowned some more.  “He killed his little brother?  Is that what you’re saying?”

“Yes, and it’s not just me.  Everyone in London said so at the time.  They’re still saying it.”

On Mr. Grey initially introducing himself, Theo had vaguely recognized his name.  Soloman Grey.  She must have heard the sad story even out at Oakwood, yet she couldn’t reconcile Edna’s tale with the man who had saved her from Mr. Akbar.  There was no way that fellow had killed his baby brother.

“Why would he murder his brother?” she asked.  “What would he have to gain?  He wasn’t the heir, so he couldn’t inherit.”

“Who knows with such an evil brute?  Perhaps he was bored and didn’t wish to be bothered with the child.  It might have been as simple as that.  But it’s claimed there was a financial motive, and I’ve always suspected it was the true impetus.”

“What financial motive?”

“Soloman Grey and his cousin, Benjamin Grey, grew up as best friends.  They were thick as thieves, and since Baby Caleb was never found, guess who
was
in line to inherit.”

Theo provided the expected answer.  “Benjamin Grey?”

“Too right.  It’s been constantly reported that Benjamin offered Soloman a huge settlement from the estate to do away with Caleb.”

“You really believe that?”

“Yes, Theo, but feel free to discuss the issue with anyone.  They’ll tell you.”

“Because people are so cognizant of the facts?”

“Yes.  Mr. Grey had no defense, and he didn’t even try to tender an alibi.”

Theo gaped at her aunt, curious if the oblivious woman had noticed any similarities between Mr. Grey’s case and Theo’s own.  Theo had shouted to the whole world that nothing had transpired with Lord Trent, but no one would listen.

Of course it hadn’t helped that Lord Trent had sailed for Paris the next morning.  Apparently, it was his usual behavior when he seduced a girl, so it was taken as a sign of his guilt.  And Theo’s guilt too.

She suffered a wave of sympathy for Mr. Grey.  During their brief encounter, he’d been curt and uncivil, but he’d been dashing and gallant too.  Her British background had been blatantly evident, so no wonder he’d been rude and dismissive.  He had to have known the consequences if his identity was revealed.

She’d dragged him into the hotel, had insisted he meet Edna.  He had to have realized Edna might recognize him.  Why had he come in?  Why had he allowed himself to be publicly insulted?

Theo was painfully aware of how unfair life could be.  She’d learned how gossip could swirl, how rumors could impale a person, and there wasn’t a single way to deflect them.

Theo didn’t care what Aunt Edna thought or insinuated.  Theo would never believe Mr. Grey had harmed his brother.

Their reputations had been destroyed by the same type of relentless innuendo, and she’d like to apprise him that they had the exasperating situation in common.  But even if she saw him again, which seemed doubtful after Edna’s snub, she’d never be brave enough to broach the topic, but still
she
would always know they were wallowing in the same infuriating sea.

“When did this happen?” she asked.

“Oh, it must be a decade ago.  Actually, people were talking about it before we left London.  The mess has been in the courts for several years, because Baby Caleb had to be declared dead, but the waiting period is over.  Benjamin Grey is about to finally obtain his fortune and title.”

“And then, Soloman Grey will suddenly be rich?”

“Yes.”

“If his cousin inherits, and Mr. Grey never becomes rich from this supposedly secret settlement, then what will your opinion be?”

“You think he’s innocent?”  Edna laughed meanly.  “Even if he didn’t do it for the money, he likely killed Baby Caleb so he didn’t have to fuss with him.”

“If he was so glad to be rid of his little half-brother, why didn’t he stay in London and bask in his marvelous life there?  After all, if the entire point was to shed his responsibilities to the child, why flee?  It simply made him look guilty.”

Again, Edna didn’t note the similarities between Theo and Mr. Grey.  Theo’s father—following Edna’s staunch advice—had demanded Theo leave London immediately as Lord Trent had done.  Theo had felt it was a hideous mistake.

“Mr. Grey was
disgraced,
Theo.  He couldn’t remain in society.  No one would receive him.  It’s why he slinked away.  Surely even you can grasp why he is a completely inappropriate man for us to know.”

“Yes, well, after how you just shamed him, we won’t have to worry about
knowing
him.  You said I should cut him if I ever saw him again, but I’m certain he’ll be happy to return the favor.  There’s no chance of us interacting—not on either side.”

“It’s not my fault that Mr. Grey is unsavory, Theo.  His problems are of his own making.”

“As my problems are mine?”

“Exactly,” her aunt firmly stated.

Theo rolled her eyes, stood, and headed for the stairs.

H
ow are you liking
Cairo so far?”

Theo starred at the auburn-haired Parisian beauty seated next to her on the sofa, and she smiled.  “It’s…interesting.”

“Isn’t it though?  I enjoy the freer atmosphere in Egypt.  Life in Europe is so stifling for a female, don’t you agree?”

“I can’t really say.  I always resided at my father’s estate, so my days were very boring.”

“You will not find them boring in Cairo.  I guarantee.  The men are much more thrilling,
non
?  In Europe, they are so plain and ordinary.  Here they are all adventurers and explorers.  They are
trés
gallant.”

The woman—who’d been introduced as Cassandra Valda—gave a little shudder of excitement as if the room was filled with brave, dashing swashbucklers.

She gestured about, but all Theo saw were tourists from various countries, many of them from England.  They looked like the same type of people who’d attend any party in London.  There didn’t appear to be an adventurer in the bunch.

Their host was a charming, debonair Frenchman, André Valois, and he was a fixture in Cairo.  He’d lived in the city for decades, and he befriended and assisted European travelers.  Apparently, he knew how to provide whatever service a person might need in the strange locale.

He was a clever character, maybe a tad too clever for Theo’s liking.  At the hotel, Edna had been apprised to seek him out in order to inquire about hiring porters to take them down the Nile.  But before Edna could contact him, he’d contacted
her,
having already discovered she was in Cairo.

They’d been invited to supper, which evidently was a huge honor.  He had a glorious villa right on the banks of the river, and the parlors were packed with an intriguing assortment of nationalities and accents.  

Theo had been trying to chat with as many guests as possible, and to remember their names, but it was all too much.  Her companion had been introduced as
Mrs.
Valda, but Theo hadn’t noticed a husband in the near vicinity, and she’d heard gossip that Mrs. Valda was no better than she had to be. 

What sort of people was she meeting?  She figured Edna was about to swoop in and warn her to avoid certain disgraced individuals.  Had everyone in the world fled to Egypt to avoid a scandal back home?

After her encounter with Mr. Grey, she was beginning to wish dishonored folks would simply wear a badge on their lapels so she’d know immediately that Edna would disapprove.

Mrs. Valda slid away, and she was so strikingly graceful that she seemed to float across the floor.  Theo watched her go, wondering how a woman learned to move like that.  Theo was used to marching down rural lanes, walking to the village, walking to church, walking to visit the neighbors.  When she walked, she always had a destination to achieve, and if she’d floated, she’d never have arrived anywhere.

An entire wall opened out to the verandah, and since no one was paying any attention to her, she slipped outside.  Monsieur Valois had mentioned there was a path leading to the banks of the Nile, to a dock with benches, and she was eager to explore.

Her aunt wouldn’t be happy about it, but Theo had spent her life doing as she pleased, and a difficult facet of traveling with Edna was that Edna insisted on being informed of every detail of Theo’s day.  Theo couldn’t bear to carry on like that and suspected she never would get the hang of it.

She inhaled a deep breath, her senses overwhelmed by the tropical smells of the lush gardens.  The moon was up, and the path to the dock clearly lit.  In a few quick seconds, she was leaning on a balustrade and gazing out at the Nile.

Boats dotted the water, their lanterns swinging with the current, and she felt as if she’d entered a fairy land.  The place was magical, and while she’d fussed and complained when the trip had initially been announced, she was actually very glad her father had forced her to agree.

Theo had never previously journeyed beyond London, and it had never occurred to her that she might have the chance to visit foreign countries.  It was likely the only opportunity she’d ever have to venture out of England, and despite Edna and her oppressive ways, Theo was determined to enjoy herself.

“Well, well, if it isn’t
Lady
Theodosia,” a familiar male voice mused from behind her.

She whipped around to see Soloman Grey seated on a bench and staring out at the river just as she was.

“Mr. Grey!  Why are you lurking in the shadows like that?  You gave me a terrible fright.”

“I wasn’t planning to say anything at all.  You’re obviously enthralled by the view, and I thought I should leave you to it.”

“Why are you at the villa?  Are you a guest?” 

“Not a guest precisely.”

“What are you then?”

“I live here when I’m in Cairo.”

“You live
here
?  You mean with Monsieur Valois?”

“Yes.  I have off and on for years.”

He was still seated and hadn’t bothered to stand, so she pushed away from the balustrade and went over to him.  She hovered awkwardly, not sure if he’d welcome her to sit.  He certainly hadn’t invited her to.

“Why didn’t you join us for supper?” she asked.

“Why would you suppose?  I heard your aunt would be present, so I decided I’d rather not.  I have a friend waiting for me inside, but it’s not the first time I’ve been late.  I’ll come in after your aunt departs.”

“I’m sorry for how she treated you.  I apologize for her behavior.”

He nodded.  “Thank you.  It’s been a very long while since I received an apology from anyone.”

“Before we arrived at the hotel yesterday, you must have realized she’d be rude to you.”

“I figured she would be—if gossip about me had ever reached her ears.  Occasionally, I’m unknown to newcomers and my infamy unremarked.”

“Why accompany me though?  Why risk it?  There was no need to put yourself in such a position.”

“I guess I’m a glutton for punishment.”

She chuckled at that.  “She told me many ghastly stories about you.”

“I’m not surprised.”

“And I told her she was deranged to spread such filthy rumors.”

He studied her, his mesmerizing blue eyes digging deep.  “What if she was telling the truth?  What if she’s right, and you’re out here in the dark with an evil brute?”

As he suggested the possibility, he looked incredibly nonchalant, and it dawned on her that he was testing her, needling her to discover how she’d react. 

She scoffed.  “My aunt wasn’t telling the truth.  Don’t be absurd.”

“How can you be so positive about it?”

“If you were such a wicked miscreant, you would never have stopped Mr. Akbar.  You would have let him proceed with his kidnapping.”

“Maybe I was a devil in the past, but I’ve turned over a new leaf.  Maybe I’m trying to mend my ways.”

“Your
ways
are fine, Mr. Grey.  Don’t pretend to be horrid.  I’ll never believe you are.”

It was such an intimate moment, and she’d like to have probed for details about his scandal, but she couldn’t imagine herself asking,
did you kill your little half-brother?

He still hadn’t invited her to sit, and he stood instead.  In the intervening hours since he’d left the hotel, she’d forgotten how tall he was.  He towered over her, and as he emerged from the shadows, she saw that he was dressed in formal evening clothes.

His coat was black, his shirt and cravat blindingly white, and while she’d remembered him as being handsome, she hadn’t recalled just how handsome.  In his formal attire, he was magnificent. 

Could a man be magnificent?  Apparently yes.

He stepped very close, the toes of his shoes slipping under the hem of her skirt, his leg pressed to her own.  It was a shocking proximity.  The only time she’d experienced a similar situation was in that deserted parlor with Lord Trent.

It had been outrageously thrilling, and the same sort of physical response was occurring with Mr. Grey.  She wanted to lean in and rub herself against him like a lazy cat.

What was wrong with her?  Had she learned nothing from the debacle in London?  If she was caught with him, snuggled together on the isolated dock, she would never be able to explain and would simply reinforce Edna’s opinion that she was a strumpet.

Yet she didn’t move away.  Again, she sensed he was testing her, toying with her, hoping to discern aspects of her character she’d never reveal.

There was a hint of whiskey on his breath as if he’d been morose and drinking by himself.  Was he lonely as she was lonely?  Was he feeling dreadful, as if he were the last person on Earth, and there was no one to fret or care?  That’s how she often felt, and she was swamped by the strongest desire to rest her palm on his cheek and tell him everything would be all right.

“You shouldn’t be out here with me, Lady Theo,” he murmured.

“No, I probably shouldn’t be.”

“There’s no predicting what I might do to you.”

“You’re pretending to be awful again.  Don’t try to scare me.  You can’t.”

“I can’t?”

“No.”

He was staring at her with such an intense focus, and she’d never had a man look at her like that before.  Well, Lord Trent had, but his attention had been feigned. 

What about Mr. Grey?  Was he a roué?  Was he a practiced seducer?  If he was, she needed to shove him away and hurry back to the party.  If he wasn’t, if he was gazing at her with such strident regard because he…he…had decided she was marvelous, then she wanted to remain where she was.

She’d been a forlorn little girl and had grown up to be a forlorn young woman.  The future didn’t bode well for her to ever have a beau or another fiancé or a husband or a family, so there wouldn’t be many occasions where a man would meticulously assess her as he was.  She couldn’t bear to have the moment end.

“You’re very pretty, Theo,” he said.

She was charmed by the compliment.  “Do you think so?”

“Yes.”  He pointed toward the villa.  “So you have to go now.”

“Why?”  She mockingly batted her lashes.  “If I stay, will you ravish me?”

“No, but I’ve had too much to drink, so you shouldn’t dawdle.”

“You would never hurt me.”

“You might be surprised.”

“No, I wouldn’t.”

He actually laid his hand on her waist, and he drew her to him so the entire front of her body was crushed to his.  The sensation was riveting. 

She peered up at him, curious as to what he was planning.  Prior to her meeting Lord Trent, she hadn’t realized two strangers might share illicit kisses, that an embrace could be sweet and very fulfilling.  She wondered if a comparable event wasn’t about to transpire again, and she had to admit she wouldn’t necessarily be averse. 

She’d had limited experiences with men.  Did they always make such suggestive passes when they were alone with a woman?  Or was she unwittingly encouraging men to behave as they oughtn’t?

If it was something she was doing, she had no idea what it might be, but she definitely had to stop doing it.

“What really happened all those years ago in London?” she was stunned to hear herself inquire.

“I wouldn’t ever discuss it with you.”

“I’m a good listener, and I can keep a secret.”

“You’re a female, so that can’t be true.  Every woman of my acquaintance gabs like a magpie.”

“I’m different from other women.”  The boast astonished her.  She was more completely ordinary than any female in the kingdom.

“No, you’re not, Lady Theodosia.  But you
are
very pretty.  About that fact, I wasn’t lying.  Why don’t you go?”

“No.”

“Then I will.  I can’t tarry here with you.”

“Will I see you inside?”

“No.”

“I’d like to.”

“I can’t imagine why.”

For another second—it seemed to last an eternity—he hovered next to her.  Though it was insane to assume so, she was positive he was about to kiss her.  Since she was eager to let him, she recognized that she couldn’t continue to ignore Edna’s complaints about her moral disposition.

Was she loose?  Was she wanton?  Perhaps she was.

“Will you call on me at the hotel?” she asked.

He snorted with derision.  “I have no desire to encounter your aunt.  One confrontation was quite enough for me.”

“Will I ever see you again?”

“Not if we’re both very, very lucky.”

“After how you rescued me at the bazaar, doesn’t it feel like we’re…friends or something?”

“I don’t have any friends.”  He reached out and traced a seductive finger across her bottom lip, then he vanished into the shadows.

Struggling to understand what had just occurred, she went over to the bench where he’d been sitting, and she plopped down. 

She’d been forward and brazen and shameless, and in light of all the vows she’d made before leaving London, she had to accept that she might not be decent and respectable after all.  Maybe Edna was correct, and she was every sort of trollop her father had accused her of being.  Was she?

She sent the question out into the dark night, but in case the dark night sent an answer winging back, she couldn’t bear to hear it.

Jumping up, she scurried to the house, but with her discovering Mr. Grey was in residence, that he might be gazing at her through the windows, she couldn’t concentrate enough to socialize.  While she usually liked to chat and meet new people, the party was no longer interesting or fun.