Only You (21 page)

Earlier, when he’d seen that ape looming over Maggie as she scrunched down in the car, it had taken all of his control not to torpedo the guy. Good thing he hadn’t, since one of them had been armed.

He wasn’t sure how he was going to pull it off, but he planned to not let Maggie out of his sight until they could check out who the hell those guys were and what their client wanted from her. He’d called Ethan as soon as they arrived home. Ethan was on it, using his vast resources to dig up information. Ethan’s detective was on to them, and he imagined if Jesse had any professional contacts, he’d be calling in favors.

JD felt next to useless. All he could do was beg Maggie to stay by his side. He’d been so busy pushing her away, he hadn’t stopped to wonder if he even deserved to have a woman like Maggie in his life. It seemed like every other man around didn’t have that problem. They knew solid gold when they saw it.

Or maybe he’d been avoiding the question. He’d felt like an emotional cripple for so long, it could be that he resented her prying him out of the rut he’d sank into. Like when he’d broken his leg the summer he was sixteen, and he’d dug himself so deep into the couch in the family room that when his father had insisted he get up, get moving and start using his crutches, JD had come close to hating his father for pushing him. Two days of doing exercises and moving around the house had reminded him how much he was missing by lying around, feeling sorry for himself. During times like this, he missed his mother and father. They’d have loved Maggie. And they’d have told him to stop being an emotional coward.

Maggie, in her own way, was pushing him off the couch. Except, this time, life was a lot more complicated, and he wasn’t recovering from something as simple as a broken bone. Maggie was better off with anyone but him. Didn’t mean he wouldn’t do his best to take care of her, but how was he supposed to do that
and
keep his distance?

Speaking of taking care of her, where was she? He strained to hear movement upstairs. She’d gone up to review what needed to be done on the second floor, and he was supposed to be putting lunch together. He’d finally hired a housekeeper, Lucy, for a couple of days a week. He’d hired her to clean the house, but had quickly discovered she cooked like an angel, and there was a tamale pie in his refrigerator to prove it. He went into the kitchen and put the pie in the microwave.

Curious about the lack of movement upstairs, JD took the stairs two at a time. He found Maggie curled up on his bed, sound asleep. God, she was beautiful. He could look forever at the graceful lines of her body, all dips and curves, and never get tired of the view. Sleep had erased the worry lines between her eyes, and he wondered if he was the one who’d put them there. He blew out a breath. Stupid question. Of course he was. But what else could he do, given the circumstances? He was working at being friends, although he wanted a lot more. But he had so little to offer.

He turned and went downstairs to his office. The view from that room faced the back patio, where he hoped to plant rosebushes. When he’d designed the house, he’d had ambitious plans to run a business from home. Now, he picked up the sketch of the house he’d considered taking on for the young couple in Salt Lake. It was a great design, given the budget restraints. After not working for the last three years, he’d enjoyed the work a lot. Hell, he’d loved it.

He set the sketch aside. He needed to find a way to be an architect without it taking over his life. Maybe he needed a partner, someone who could take over after he finalized the initial concept. He gazed out the window. Having someone to follow through on all the details of erecting a building while he stuck strictly to the design might actually work. He’d worked with engineers who were terrible at design, but fantastic at everything else. Once things settled down here—he paused, considering exactly what that meant. His life felt connected to Maggie’s now. How had that happened? At any rate, he’d put out feelers for an architect who might be interested in working with him. In the meantime, he’d unpack a few boxes and organize his office while he waited for Maggie to wake up.

The first three boxes held books, and it felt as though he were greeting old friends as he shelved them. Maggie was right about the bookshelves she’d saved for him. They’d look great under the stairs. He would pick them up from her house and install them this week. He had about twenty more boxes of books, and the bookcase would hold a good ten boxes worth.

The next box he grabbed was lighter than the others. He slid his pocketknife through the tape and flipped it open.
Pictures
. Feeling winded, he reached inside the box and picked up a framed photo of Donnie from the day he was born. JD traced Donnie’s sweet little face with his fingertip. He’d packed these away when Donnie died and hadn’t looked at them since. It had hurt too much to see any reminder of his son, and he’d given everything away, except these. JD’s throat thickened and his eyes prickled as he made a conscious effort to breathe. Breathing had been the only thing he could do after Donnie’s death. He’d gotten through the first year one breath at a time, and each and every breath had hurt.

“There you are. It was so quiet I thought you’d left.” Maggie breezed into the room. “Are you unpacking?”

JD dropped the photo into the box and closed the lid. He swallowed hard a couple of times, tried to find his voice.

Maggie frowned at him. “JD? You okay?”

“Yeah. Sure. Lunch is ready.”

“Hey.” Maggie put her hand on his arm as he tried to push past her. “What’s going on?”

Tired of carrying the guilt and pain of Donnie’s death, JD sank into his desk chair. “I came across some pictures.” He nodded at the box still sitting on his desk.

“Pictures?” Maggie slowly opened the box, as though it held a bomb, and peeked inside. “Oh, JD, he’s beautiful.” She pulled out the top photo. “How old was he here?”

“A couple of hours.”

“He doesn’t look wrinkled or red or anything.”

JD felt a lessening of pressure on his chest. “Donnie was perfect from the minute he was born.”

She gently placed the photo in an empty spot on his bookshelf and took out another one. She laughed. “Look at you! You’re so young here.”

JD leaned forward and took the photo from her. “That was his second birthday. The clown didn’t show up for the party as scheduled, so guess who did the honors?” He smiled. “Donnie laughed so hard that day. He was so easy to please.”

Standing by his side, Maggie slid her arm around his shoulders and, giving in this once, he leaned into her. “Gosh, look at this one. He looks almost ethereal with all those bubbles around him.”

“He was crazy about bubbles.” 

Maggie put that photo on the next shelf down. “What else was he crazy about?”

“He liked drawing. Not that he drew anything I could interpret, but when he was drawing, he looked so focused, as if he was following some vision in his head. I painted a wall white in his room and bought him tons of washable crayons. Sometimes we’d draw together for an hour at a time.” He gazed at the picture. “I’d forgotten about that wall.”

“It sounds like a great idea. I drew on the front of our house once and was sent to my room for a whole day. That was before washable crayons, so I suppose the Kennedys were justified in punishing me. It sure didn’t feel like it at the time, though.”

JD stared at the next framed photo Maggie had dug out. His heart jigged. In the photo, Donnie was laughing, his head thrown back, his eyes spilling over with happiness as JD carried him on his shoulders, pretending to be a horse. JD was laughing as hard as Donnie. Where had that man gone, the man who’d loved life so much? He realized with a sudden fierceness that he wanted to be that man again. Donnie was gone, but JD still had a life to live, and he’d been doing a half-assed job of it lately.

He placed the photo on his desk, where he’d be sure to see it every time he entered the office. “I couldn’t wait to buy him a pony. He loved visiting the horses.”

“He loved you a lot.”

JD looked away from the photo and swallowed hard. “Yeah. I’d forgotten how great it felt to watch his eyes light up for no other reason than I’d walked into the room.”

He was thankful when Maggie remained silent as she closed the box and placed it on the floor. There were more pictures in there, but she seemed to sense that he’d reached his limit for the day. Other than Ethan, no one had ever been as attuned to his moods as Maggie was. She amazed him.

He shrugged off his somber mood. “Did you get into a lot of trouble when you were a kid?”

“Yes, but I wasn’t trying to be bad.” Her face lit up as she leaned a hip on the edge of his desk. “I guess it just came naturally. How about you? What kind of trouble did you get into as a child?”

He laced his hands behind his head and settled back into the chair. “Way too many things to remember. My poor mom and dad. They’d get me straightened out, and Ethan would do something equally stupid. We both, at different times, started fires that would have gotten out of control if our dad hadn’t reacted so quickly with the hose. Once, I dared Ethan to swing across a stream on a rope I’d tied to a tree.” He grinned. “I was five years old and had yet to perfect my knots. Ethan broke his collarbone.” He sighed. “Yeah, we wore our parents out.”

Maggie grinned. “It sounds like you had a great childhood.”

“I did.”

“JD?” Maggie said after a minute.

“Yeah?” He pulled his thoughts back to the present.

“Did you believe that man? Do you think Ethan’s investigator got too close to the truth about who my biological parents are?”

“I do.” He hesitated because he wasn’t sure if answering honestly was the right thing to do in this case, but it also wasn’t his call to make. “You want to talk with Ethan’s guy?”

“I think I have to. I can’t leave it alone at this point.”

“You realize once you open that door, you won’t be able to close it again?”

“You think I should try to forget about finding out who my parents are?”

“I want to say yes. But I’m beginning to realize ignoring things doesn’t make them go away. Sooner or later, you have to deal with the big stuff. I called Ethan, and he promised to talk to his investigator and do some poking around of his own. I was going to wait until he had something and called me, but if you want, I can call him now. Or you can.”

She sat up straight. “Where is he?”

“I’m not sure. He wandered out when you told him Claire had left for San Francisco yesterday, and I haven’t seen him since.”

“It makes sense to wait until he calls,” she said. “If I was being sensible, I’d call the Kennedys and press them for information, but the thought of dealing with them makes me tired. I haven’t even told them I’m pregnant.”

He hated that she talked about her adoptive family as if they were strangers, and not very nice ones. She deserved so much more than that.

“I can help you to unpack more boxes,” she said.

“I have a better idea.” He couldn’t do the “just friends” bit, and he was hoping Maggie wanted more from their relationship, too. Despite her being pregnant, and him not sure if he was the father or not, or even if he was ready to be a father again, he wasn’t able to turn his back on Maggie. He needed her in his life, and somehow, they’d work out their problems.

Taking a deep breath, he got up and approached her. He trailed his fingers down her exposed neck and rubbed the backs of his knuckles against the swell of her breasts. He’d felt like an idiot, wanting to plead with her to cover up with all those men milling around her this morning. He loved how her pink T-shirt hugged her beautiful breasts and dipped low enough to show a generous eyeful. He’d wanted to peel that T-shirt off and explore what it barely covered. No reason to think Jesse, Clay or the other two men hadn’t had similar thoughts. Even if he did have an overpowering need to protect her, he also liked that Maggie could handle herself. Any guy who stepped over the line would soon find out he’d picked the wrong woman.

“Raise your arms,” he said.

Maggie’s eyes darkened, and she raised her arms above her head.

JD peeled her thin T-shirt over her head, tossed the shirt and pressed his mouth in the sweet valley between her full breasts. “I wanted to do this all morning.” He traced the lace of her pink bra with his tongue and felt himself grow hard as her breasts swelled against his mouth.

She groaned and pushed into him. He massaged the full weight of her breast and flicked his thumb over her hardened nipple. “Come to bed with me, Maggie. Let me love you.”

“Yes. Please.” She whispered against his mouth. She kissed him, hard and long and deep. She tasted like strawberries and sunshine.

He wanted to touch her everywhere at once, but didn’t want to go too fast. The thought of making love to her never quite left his mind. How soft her skin felt under his hands. How she responded so beautifully to his touch.

He pulled away from the kiss. “I need to take you to bed, Maggie. To kiss every delicious inch of your body. And I want to do it very, very slowly.”

She collapsed against him. “I’m going to come right here if you don’t stop it.”

He nipped her earlobe. “You like it when I tell you what I’m going to do.”

She squirmed, rubbing herself against his erection. “Oh, yeah.”

“Oh, no, you don’t.” He pulled her upright. “No coming until we’re upstairs.”

She laughed. JD gathered in the beautiful sound and stored it inside his heart. When Maggie laughed, she sparkled everywhere. Her eyes, her incredible smile. Electricity seemed to shoot off her like fireworks. He could use a lifetime of that kind of laughter.

“Race you,” she said, right before she ran out of the office and up the stairs. She squealed when he almost caught her at the top of the stairs, but he let her go. He wanted her in the bedroom, in his bed. With the door closed.

She dove headfirst onto his bed and he followed, growling to get another giggle out of her. She attempted to roll over to face him, but he put his hand on her back and kept her in place. He unhooked her bra and moved it out of his way so he could run his hand over her back. Such a delicate back, so slender, but so strong. He bent and kissed her neck, kissed his way down her spine to the waistline of her jeans. “You’re perfect everywhere.”