OnlyatTheCavern (16 page)

She didn’t know, she wanted to shout as panic seized her by
the throat. It wasn’t that he was bigger or she feared for her safety as he
loomed over her, but the urge to run burned down her legs. The crazy thing was
she didn’t know if it was to run into his arms or bolt out of the room.

That indecision forced her closer to the door and away from
Marco. His overwhelming presence muddled her thinking and tempted her to forget
all of the rules that made the different parts of her life function as a
cohesive unit. Was it a cowardly move to make a break for it? Maybe. But he’d
see, in time, she was doing him a favor.

“Good luck, Captain. I wish you well.”

“Stop. Just stop.” He snagged her by the arm and settled his
hands on her shoulder. “I’m not going to let you walk away without a fight.
Just tell me what’s wrong, baby. I’ll fix it.”

“Baby?” She knocked his hands away. Was he insane? What made
him think she’d tolerate being addressed as something so childish? Where had
she gone wrong with him? “Did you just call me baby? What in our history
together made you believe you can address me in such a manner? I am not your
girlfriend or your child, and there is nothing for you to fix. We are but two
people who might have been able to share a mutual desire, but it’s obvious we
are not what each other needs. I don’t have the time for games and I’m not
going to waste your time when it is obvious submission is not in your nature.
Goodbye, Captain.”

“You’re misinterpreting my intentions and not making any
sense. Jasmine. Jasmine,” he shouted as she turned to leave. “Don’t walk out
that door.”

The rest of what he said was muffled behind two inches of
wood as she closed the door in his face.

“Baby,” she muttered. “Of all the nerve.”

Admit it. You liked it. You liked his sweetness. The
familiarity.

“It’s degrading.”

But you still liked it. And you are being a coward.

“He’s not ready and neither am I.”

The more you say it, the more you’ll believe it. But know
this, you probably walked out on the best man you’ll ever have.

“Probably is the operative word.”

Sure, the captain was possibly the perfect man for her. But
inside she knew the painful truth. She was not the best woman for him.

“Captain. Come on, Cap, go home. You’re gonna drool all over
the evidence.”

“Huh—what?” Marco jerked upright and swiped his palm down
his face. “I’m up. I’m up.”

Coulter reached toward him and peeled away the notecard
stuck to his hair, then took the seat across from the desk. “Sure you are. It’s
six thirty. Have you been here all night?”

“Well, when you’ve been scooping up criminals at the rate
we’ve been lately, a lot of paperwork accumulates.”

“I take it she’s still not returning your calls.”

Marco didn’t acknowledge the statement. He wrenched open the
drawer by his side and rifled through the contents in search of a protein bar
or anything to fill the hunger in his belly. The next time he stopped by his
house he’d have to remember to throw some munchies into a bag to bring back to
the station. Over the last two weeks he’d eaten his way through the buffet in
the vending machine and his wallet was depleted of ones. Not to mention all of
that junk food was giving him gas and the sodium was making his left arm
tingle. An apple was more likely not to kill him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Coulter offered.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“She hasn’t replaced you.”

He paused mid-bite and met Coulter’s gaze for a second
before letting it fall and biting off a good-sized chunk of chocolate and nuts.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he mumbled with his mouth full.

“Bullshit. You’ve been sulking and going nonstop since after
the night she whipped you. I know you two parted ways.”

The candy stuck in his throat as he sputtered. “How do you
know she whipped me?”

Coulter smiled. “I was there. You were too distracted to
notice me in the room. I recognized Jasmina before I recognized you.”

“Do you think anyone else knew it was me?”

“I don’t think so. Unless they know what your dick looks
like.” He smiled. “Your face was covered pretty well. So…what happened?”

If only he knew. One minute he was floating on a cloud of
endorphins, then plunged into an icy pool of what-the-fuck when she broke their
contract. In his gut he knew the fear he saw in her dark eyes was not caused by
him but stemmed from something deep inside her. For days he tried to find out
what had made her run but the damn woman was like a ghost. She wouldn’t answer
her phone or return his calls. No one saw her at the club and she was never at
work when he stopped by. He tracked down her address, but all of his drive-bys
came up empty.

He had hoped all she needed was some time alone. But it had
been over two weeks and his patience was wearing thin. He wasn’t going to wait
forever. Didn’t she miss him at least a little bit?

Marco shook his head and rearranged the paperwork on his
desk. The only good thing that had come from his break with Jasmine was that
his team was putting the royal smack-down on Smithwick’s crew. Jenny’s intel
was platinum, putting names with faces and their roles in the organization. Add
that valuable intelligence to his frustration with Jasmine and he’d become the
Elliot Ness of the drug world. Now all he wanted was to put Smithwick down so
he’d have more time to work on whatever demons Jasmine carried that prevented
her from at least trying to engage in a “normal” relationship.

God. Wasn’t that thought jacked up? His intentions should be
to take a major criminal off the streets for the good of the people, not
because he had woman issues. Perhaps he wasn’t ready for anything more than a
weekly fuck.

“Jeez, Cap. I’ve never seen you look so sad.” Coulter laid
his hand over his chest. “You’re breaking my heart.”

“Shut up, Coulter.” He crumpled up a piece of paper and
pitched it at the younger man. “The truth is I don’t know what happened. I
asked to spend more time with her and she spooked.”

“Ahhh.” Coulter leaned back in his chair and steepled his
fingers in front of his nose. “It all becomes clear. She likes you.”

“She has a shitty way of showing it.”

“Hear me out. Mistress Jasmina is notorious for not dating
anyone. You ask to get closer. She pushes you away and goes offline. She hasn’t
been seen at the club in weeks. Scuttlebutt at the club has all of the Doms
wondering where she went. She hasn’t spoken to anyone. Even Jorges is worried,
and he’s usually a cool customer. You got to her. I think she likes you but
doesn’t know how to handle it.”

He frowned at his lieutenant. “How
do
you know so
much information? And how have I not noticed you in the club?”

“If I had tits like hers two inches from my nose, I wouldn’t
notice anyone, even if they were on fire.”

“True that.”

Marco sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Having
Coulter share the same theory he had was a comfort, but it didn’t make the
situation easier to bear. Only the increased workload kept his hands off his
phone and his mind occupied. Most of the time.

“I haven’t given up on her yet,” he said. “Once we wrap up
this Smithwick case, I’ll be at her door, on the phone, hell, I’ll even throw
myself off another building until she speaks to me.”

Coulter chuckled. “I hope it doesn’t come to that. Good
thing we’re close to shutting him down.”

“We’re damn close.” He leaned forward and lowered his voice.
It might have appeared they were the only ones on the floor, but he didn’t
doubt the cubicle walls had ears. “Peters is out getting all of our warrants in
order. I think we’ll be ready launch sooner rather than later.” He tapped his
finger on the calendar on his desk. Two more days and Smithwick’s ass was his.

“Awesome.” Coulter clapped his hands. “I need a vacation.
But first, I need a cup of coffee. I don’t know how you’re even upright. Can I
get you anything?”

“Where are you going?”

“Sit for a Spell. The stuff here will burn a hole in my
stomach.”

“Get me a large and a blueberry muffin.” His stomach
gurgled. “Two muffins.”

“Will do.”

Marco stood and lifted his hands over his head, stretching
his neck to the left and right. The
pop-pop-pop
of his vertebrae
aligning made him wince, but the resulting sensation was totally worth it. He
needed to get Smithwick in a cage now, if only so he’d have the opportunity to
sleep in his own bed for the entire night.

Or Jasmine’s bed. And he’d make damn sure he wasn’t the only
one tied down.

“Hey, Cap.” Coulter’s shout preceded his reappearance at
Marco’s cubicle.

“That was fast.”

“You have to see this.” Coulter handed him his cellphone.
“This was on my Facebook feed.”

The worried look in the man’s eye made his jaw tighten with
dread. He looked at the screen and groaned. “What the fuck is this?”

“It’s going viral.”

“Of course it is because no one has anything better to do.
Damn it. Coulter—”

He was already waving him away. “Go. Find her. I’ll let you
know when Peters is ready.”

“Thanks, man.” He gave Coulter back his phone and reached
for his car keys.

As he ran to the elevator, he tried not to give in to the
panic that made his stomach lurch. The photos lighting up the internet could be
nothing more than a harmless prank. Unfortunately, he had a suspicion as to who
was behind them and the message they were sending.

Smithwick wanted him off his tail, and like with Fiona
Corrione and her relationship with the Chameleon, Jasmine was now in the
crosshairs.

* * * * *

Jasmine melted into the man’s embrace and squeezed him tight
around his middle. Funny how she only felt a brotherly affection for him when
she had once delighted in making him scream in orgasm.

“I’ve missed you, Mitch.” She laid her palm against his
smooth cheek. “You’re looking good.”

He made a face, then pulled out a chair for her to sit. “I
still hate hearing you saying my name.”

“In here,” she touched her heart, “you will always be my
Army.”

“Thanks.” He took his seat across the bistro table. “You’re
still as beautiful as ever, but something’s bothering you.”

She readjusted her sunglasses and took a sip of coffee.
“You’re sweet but full of shit.”

Even if the sun wasn’t shining bright in the sky, she’d
still have worn the dark lenses. Nights of punching the pillow and a full
workload made the circles beneath her eyes look as if she had been hit in the
face with two baseballs.

“I hope you haven’t thought I’d abandoned you, but I did
find you the perfect Mistress.”

“I hope she’s willing to wait three months. I’ve been called
back into the reserves. They’re shipping me out in three days.”

“What?” She straightened in alarm. “Mitch. No.”

“It’ll be all right, Mistress. The time away will actually
give me time to think, you know, about what I want from a Mistress.”

His casual shrug didn’t fool her. He was worried.

“Where are you going?”

He looked out into the distance and brushed a stray cherry
blossom petal off the tabletop. “My guess, Pakistan, but the way the world
seems to have fallen into a shit-storm lately, anyplace is possible.”

“But you’ll come back.” She grasped his hand. “Promise.”

“Of course I will.” He flashed his Hollywood smile and she
swore she heard the women sitting two tables over have an orgasm. “I want to
meet this Mistress you’ve found me.”

“I’ll be severely pissed if you come back in a coffin.”

“I love you too.” He kissed the back of her hand. “Now, tell
me why you dropped Rookie.”

She snatched her hand away and wrapped her fingers around
her cup. “It’s complicated.”

“Try me.”

“It’s really nothing you should be bothered with.”

“Jasmine.” The forcefulness in his tone shocked her. He had
never raised his voice to her before. “You are my friend. Always. And I can
tell there’s something eating at you. I’m here to listen. What happened?”

She stalled for time by taking another long sip of her
lukewarm Irish cream latte while Mitch stared her down until her heart pounded.
She wasn’t sure she liked this newly revealed dominance from him. She liked
when he never questioned her reasoning.

The thought made her wince and the coffee congeal in her
throat. Was it even possible to sound more shallow? Why would anyone want a
friend or lover who thought their opinion was the only one that mattered?

“The captain asked me out,” she finally squeaked out.

“No!” Mitch gasped and clutched at his chest. “What was he
thinking?”

“Knock it off.” She kicked him under the table and felt the
flames of embarrassment lick up her neck. “You know I don’t date.”

“I’ve heard you say that many times, but why not?”

“I don’t have the time to invest in a relationship.”

“Bullshit. You invested in me. You invested in him.”

“Two days a week. And those were scheduled visits. If a
cancellation had to be made, no harm, no foul.”

“Ah…” He leaned back in his seat and nodded. “So we’re
talking emotional investment. What’s so wrong about wanting to spend time with
someone you care about that doesn’t involve leather straps and lubricant?”

She wanted to laugh, she did, but the truth wasn’t that
funny. “When lines are blurred between inside the club and outside the club,
expectations begin to form. Roles become cloudy.” She licked her lips and
voiced her greatest fear. “Reality intrudes and the magic disappears. I can’t
be in control twenty-four/seven, even if I wanted to be. And how can you
maintain your authority over someone when they know your bathroom habits or
whether you stack the dishes in the sink or put them away? Everyday life isn’t
sexy. Over time, the excitement you once felt in the dungeon will fade and all
you’ll be left with is discussions about who’s gonna take out the trash or fold
the laundry. It’s all so…so bland.”

“You. Are. Insane.” He shook his head. “Jasmine, you’re the
type of women who grabs life by the balls and laughs as you twist them harder.
You’ll never be in a relationship like you described. Sure, it won’t be night
after night of extreme play, but if you’re with the right person, even the
boring times will be fun.” His grin turned rueful. “You know, when you ended
our arrangement, I panicked. I didn’t know if I would find a person to fill
that need I have to be submissive. But by being on my own, I realized that you
were right. I want a dominant woman in my life full time. And I know that’s not
you. I’ll find her, just like you’ll find the sub who can let you just be you
without the whips and corsets when needed.” His eyes narrowed as he lowered his
head and frowned. “But you won’t find him if you keep pushing men away. If you
want it all, Mistress, you’ll have to risk it all.”

She huffed and folded her arms. “I hate it that you sound
logical, and I come across as nothing but a brat.”

“You hate being vulnerable, and Rookie backed you into a
corner. I’m not surprised you came out hissing.” He shrugged and took a drink
of his coffee as if doling out relationship advice were an everyday occurrence.

Amazing. She started to laugh and shook her head. “You paid
that much attention to me?”

“You were my world.” The certainty in his voice made her
breath catch. “You were the only one who showed me what I was searching for
even though I hadn’t a clue.”

Jasmine smiled at him as her eyes watered and insecurities
frothed in her stomach like sea foam caused by a massive wave. The words were
barely audible as she admitted out loud, “I’m scared.”

“Who isn’t when their heart is on the line? It looks to me
like you’re living the alternative now. How is that going?”

“It sucks.” She snorted and squeezed his hand. “Thanks for
the perspective.”

“Any time.” He saluted with his cup.

They chatted until it was time for her to leave for her
morning shift. As they parted, she made sure she hugged him so tight, he would
still be able to feel her embrace wherever in the world the military sent him.
With a promise to write, she walked the five blocks to the hospital with his
words running through her mind like a song on constant replay.