Oogy The Dog Only a Family Could Love

CHAPTER
1

Morning

W
hen the alarm goes off at 5:30 a.m., it is still dark outside. Lying there, I take a quick mental inventory of what lies before me this morning. The boys don’t have to be at school early for a team meeting or to see any of their teachers. They don’t have to finish any homework or cram last minute for a test. As seniors in high school and already admitted to college, they are coasting to the finish line. In a way, they have already passed it. The breakfast table to raise money for the lacrosse team does not start until tomorrow, to coincide with the opening game of the season. So with both my morning and afternoon committed tomorrow, I have lots to get done today. But it also means that, right now, I have the luxury of hitting the snooze button for another ten minutes’ sleep.

The alarm seems to go off again in about fifteen seconds. I force myself to sit up. It feels as if I’m underwater, struggling to surface. I wriggle my toes and fingers, which I once read helps to keep you awake; I run my hands over my face and rub the sleep from my eyes. I nudge Jennifer, who without turning over asks for another fifteen minutes of sleep. Groggily, I push aside the comforter on my side; I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and drop to the floor. Stumbling around and over barely visible mounds of towels, sweats, T-shirts, socks, and athletic wear, I pass through the laundry room into the bathroom. There, I turn on the light, brush my teeth, and throw cold water on my face. Back in the laundry room, I pull off the T-shirt I slept in and put on a clean one from among the piles of clothing stacked up everywhere — on the built-in bench, atop the radiator cover, along both windowsills, and in front of the radiator. After a bit of a search, I pull out a pair of clean socks and sweatpants and lean against the dryer to pull them on.

I walk out of the bedroom, leaving the door halfway open behind me. From the landing on the second floor, I can see that the downstairs light is on. There are four couches on our first floor. On rare occasions, Noah and Dan will sleep on the same couch down there; sometimes they sleep in different rooms; but usually they’re both sacked out in the family room, one on the old couch, the other on the futon sofa bed, alternating each night. There’s no way to predict which one of the boys Oogy will have chosen to sleep with, but he’ll be next to one of them.

At the foot of the stairs, I first glance to my right into what used to be the living room. The doors are wide open, and no one is sleeping there. The lights in the family room, to my left, are controlled by toggle switches on the wall in the hallway; I turn up the rear bank of lights ever so slightly and peer inside. I think I see Noah stretched out on the futon opened up on the floor, wrapped in two blankets, which would mean that Dan is on the old couch adjacent to the rear glass wall. Behind Dan on the couch, stretched lengthwise, one paw draped over Dan’s shoulders, Oogy is barely distinguishable from the white comforter covering Dan. No one so much as stirs. I toggle the lights back down and click them off.

In the kitchen I put cold water into the coffeemaker, measure out coffee into the filter, and press the “on” button. The amber light comes on, the water roils, and the aroma of brewing coffee begins to waft through the air reassuringly. I turn on the radio to get a weather update that I can pass on to the boys. This radio must be at least forty years old; it used to sit in the kitchen of the home I grew up in, and I have no idea how I have it still. The reception is poor, scratchy and thin, as though the voices inside are being played from an old phonograph record.

I return to the family room and turn on both the front and rear sets of lights halfway. This time, Oogy lifts his head and looks at me. He is still somewhat distant with sleep, but welcome shines in his eyes like candles. His tail thumps softly against the back of the couch. Smiling, I walk over to him and sit on the arm of the sofa, trace my fingers against the thickness of his neck. I touch the well of power just behind there, high on his back between his shoulders. His strength never ceases to amaze me. It seems almost incompatible with his gentle nature.

“Hello, doggy boy,” I murmur. “You’re a lucky dog, you’re a good doggy. You’re a good boy. A good boy. Thank you for protecting the boys last night. I’m glad I don’t have to worry about that anymore.” I bend over him and touch my nose to a spot just behind his neck. He makes that grunting sound that signifies absolute contentment; when I lift my face from between his shoulders, he raises his head and licks my nose. In return, I nuzzle the side of his face that still has an ear.

“I’ve got to get everyone going,” I tell him. “You and I will go out later, okay?”

He cocks his head, the ear standing up at alert. I cup it with one hand and knead it gently. I have been told that there are many nerve endings in a dog’s ears and that by rubbing them, one can relax the whole dog. Because Oogy has only one ear, the task is simplified, but at the same time it raises some odd questions. Can only half of Oogy get relaxed by rubbing his remaining ear? If so, would that be his right side, the side that still has an ear? Or are dogs left-eared and right-eared the way humans are left- and right-brained, so that his right ear controls the left side of his body? Clearly, there are many things about dogs that I have yet to learn.

“Don’t get excited just yet,” I caution him. “There are things that I need to get done before we can party.” When I rise he does, too, stretching with a soft grunt. Then he reverses himself and curls up with his head next to Dan’s hip. He sighs contentedly before he closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep again.

Neither boy has moved. “Yo,” I say to them. “Time for breakfast. Who’s having what?”

There is no response.

“Breakfast time,” I repeat, a little louder. From the incoherent mumbling that rises briefly in response, I determine that the boys have lived through the night, although it is still impossible to tell whether they may have entered into permanent vegetative states.

“Breakfast orders, please,” I repeat, louder still.

“Don’t yell!” Noah moans without lifting his head from the pillow or even turning it in my direction.

“I’m not yelling,” I explain. “
This would be yelling!
” Oogy’s head jerks up, trying to understand whether he should be concerned about the change in timbre. I drop my voice back to normal. “I’m just trying to get your attention.” Oogy’s head goes back on the pillow, reacting to the sound of my voice as though controlled by a string. His ear flops over against the side of his head.

I manage to get the boys’ breakfast requests, then turn on the TV for them as I head out the door. Back in the kitchen, I glance out the window. The light is dim, the sky overcast and cloudy, as though freighted with rain. I put water into a pot, add some milk and a little salt, and then drop in a few raisins to fatten in the water as it boils. After securing the lid and striking a match, I ignite the gas burner; the blue flame pops up. I wrap four strips of bacon in a paper towel and place them on a plate in the microwave, then set the timer for three minutes and thirty seconds. Every brand of bacon has a different cook time for the same number of strips. Then there’s the variable of how long the bacon has been in the refrigerator since the package was opened — that too must be factored in. The fresher the bacon, the longer it takes to cook. What does it say about me that I have learned over the years that there is a kind of personality to bacon?

The pulsing of the water in the coffeemaker is accompanied by a sighing sound from inside it, as though, resignedly, it is finishing its assigned task. I hear the volume of the TV rise and make a quick foray back to the family room. Both boys are sitting up on the old couch now, facing the TV; a sports talk show is on. They are, to be generous about it, half-awake, each wrapped in a comforter, looking like refugees. Behind them, his head directly above and between where their shoulders touch, Oogy sits alert, watching me. Illuminated by the murky light behind them, the outlines of Oogy and the boys blur together; they look like one being, a three-headed mutant.

On the way out of the room, I push the light switch toggles all the way on in hopes that it will help the boys to wake up. I walk to the foot of the stairs and yell up to Jennifer, who reluctantly confirms that she is, in fact, awake. Her voice sounds muffled, as though she’s under a blanket. I return to the kitchen, where I am once again buoyed by the smell of the coffee. I pull Oogy’s food bowl from the drainer in the sink and prepare his breakfast, after which I place it on the floor by the water dish. By now, the water in the pot is boiling. I add some cinnamon and rolled oats to the pot, stirring the contents until the mixture starts to thicken, then I turn down the flame. I hit the button on the microwave to start the bacon cooking, open the toaster oven and slide two muffins inside. I am the maestro of the breakfast symphony. I put sugar on the tray for Noah’s oatmeal and some maple syrup into a glass for Dan to add to his. I pour Noah a glass of cranberry juice and a glass of nonfat milk; Dan gets some orange juice and a glass of milk as well. Each boy gets a multivitamin and, thanks to their sports injuries, two of the same joint pills I give Oogy for his aching knees.

The coffeemaker emits an electronic death rattle to signify its task is complete just as Jennifer wanders into the kitchen in pajamas and a flannel robe. We exchange morning greetings. She has an 8:30 meeting she has not yet prepared for, so she needs to get going. I assure her that everything is under control. She pours herself a cup of coffee, adds milk from a plastic quart, and heads back upstairs after stopping by the family room to check on the boys. I return the milk to the fridge and pour myself a steaming cup of coffee as well. Then I take a sip, black, unsweetened, feeling it slide down to my feet and shoot back up to my brain; it seems to resound like a hammered weight striking the gong at the top of a “Test Your Strength” game at a cartoon carnival. I am officially awake.

The microwave beeps. Before I pull out the bacon, I stir the oatmeal one last time and turn off the range. I dry the bacon in another set of paper towels and heat the maple syrup in the microwave. After I drop the paper towels in the trash, I add a few dollops of ammonia to the bag to mask the odor and deter Oogy from rooting around inside. Then I hear the soft click of toenails on the tile floor and look up to see Oogy standing by the swinging door to the kitchen. His forelegs look almost comically bowed because of the massive bunched muscles and the enormous square chest from which they stem. His feet appear oversize compared with the rest of his body; he looks as if he is wearing doggy clown shoes. I walk over to him, and he leans his head against my leg. I rub him behind his ear. I rub the little black hole where his left ear used to be, then bend over and, with my nose on his neck, rub the ropelike muscles on either side. Oogy makes “chuffing” sounds like a small steam engine. He is happy.

“You’re a good doggy,” I tell him. “You’re the best doggy.” I mean that, and he knows I mean that. “You’re in a special place. Aren’t you a lucky dog? I know that it’s weird to hear that, but you are. Plus,” I tell him, “you’ve got fat feet. Look at those silly feet.” Then I say to him, “Let me get everyone out. After that, you and I can hang.” He bends to his food bowl, snorting his pleasure, snuffling as he inhales the contents. I return to the morning routine.