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Each night she lingered by guttering candle
light, writing up her notes or making detailed diagrams of the
plants. Her hand was becoming quite neat and her skill at water
colour improving.

Mera wiped
the last piece of bread around her empty bowl, spoon forgotten,
then quickly began to eat her salad, picking out the pieces of
beetroot. Once more she uncovered her dessert, leaning over and
giving it an appreciative sniff. The first mouthful melted in her
mouth and she let her worries ease away for a moment. When faced
with the empty bowl she sighed. She supposed she ought to cut back
on her sweets, of late she had put on a lot of weight. When she had
mentioned it to Tansy, she had laughed it off, saying her body was
changing, she was becoming a woman. That she herself had gone
through the same thing, as does every other woman. Mera
wasn
’
t sure how she felt
about that, so she chose to ignore it.

Some part of
her wished that it was her mother she had had that conversation
with, but since her mama had remarried Mera
didn
’
t see much of her. Even
less since she was with child. Mera
didn
’
t begrudge her, well
not too much, she knew she was in love and was glad she had finally
found some happiness. She just wished her mother would remember she
existed every now and then.

So thinking she went to the bathing room, all
smooth tile and marble in blues and greens like being on the
surface of the sea just after sunset, to wash her hands before
removing the items Cerid had given her from her satchel. It was too
late in the season to gather and prepare most of what she needed.
The few times she had been to see her mother she had been very
swollen, complaining of aches and pains that came with being near
her birthing time. So Mera had asked Cerid to teach her of those
herbs which helped with such things.

She got out
her little set of weights, a lovely plain brass with some minute
scrolling, that she had bought in the market and was quite fond of.
As she measured each quantity into the bowl she ran through the
properties in her mind, her lips moving in an almost cant. First a
small amount of root of Snakeweed, the form she was using was
dried. Fresh it was short and thick, with black knobbled skin,
smaller roots like tufts of hair sprouted all over it, inside it
was a reddish colour.
“
Snakeweed strengthens the womb in firm prevention of
miscarriage.
”
Next a large
dose of powdered root of Avens. Cerid had said this was a very good
all round herb.
“
eases
headaches and a myriad of stomach complaints including
obstructions, digressing digestion, and
rupturings.
”

Added to the
mixture a generous dose of Motherwort, the name itself giving away
its properties. Meredith knew that the Healers were already giving
this to her mother but Cerid had reassured her that if she followed
this recipe exactly each herb would work to compliment the other,
improving the effects of all. And finally dried flowers and leaves
of Camomile for calm. Cerid claimed that this also brought peace to
the spirit, helping to give the body strength. She poured the
mixture in an earthen jar and mixed it liberally with nourishing
raspberry leaf, tightly corking it and setting it next to the pot
of honey she had purchased. That should be plenty enough to last
till after her mother
’
s
birthing. She carefully put the remainder of the herbs into
individual jars, checking the stoppers were in tight and labelling
each. Cerid had cautioned her to always have her herbs and
equipment cared for and organized.

Meredith
rose, going to one of the numerous cupboards and removing a good
red wine, still dusty from the cellar she had stolen it from. She
knew it was of her mother
’
s
favourite. She was going to make a fortifying wine. Most women were
gifted one from a female of their family, usually bought from the
healers. This was a wine to be drunk during the birthing, usually
containing herbs to aid the passage and dumb the pain. She had
brought one for her mother, as they were the only women left of
their line. It had been this purchase that had led Cerid to teach
her of the suitable herbs.

Mera scowled, remembering the near disaster.
She had gone to the market before meeting Cerid, being due in the
early afternoon, her lesson with Tomas finishing with the morning.
When she had met they followed their usual pattern of things, until
Cerid asked of her purchases. Once Meredith told her of its purpose
a had frown deepened the creases on her face.

“
Give
it
’
ere,
child!
”

She held the
bottle to the light, gently swirling its contents, with an irate
thumb she popped open the cork and gave it a sniff, long and
snuffling. Meredith had been bemused by her actions, even more so
when she took a swig. She hadn
’
t bothered to protest, the crone always had a reason for
everything she did.

“
Pah! Poppy,
an
’
a piss poor excuse for a
vintage. Oh aye it
’
ll ease
the pains! An
’
leave the
mother too sodden to push out the babe! Poppy, listen carefully
child, is a potent tool. Prized for its ability to numb pain, even
great pain. But it comes at a price. The user goes into a stupor,
numb to the world, too big a dose and they never awaken, too often
a dose and they develop a craving. Tis always to be used with
caution, never for a birth! Perhaps a grave injury or such.
Birthing with poppy! Is this what my lore have come too? Have they
forgotten all the subtleties of the art? To only use brute force.
Pah. Throw this swill out child, I
’
ll show you how it
’
s
done.
”

Meredith
still felt a creeping cold at what she had nearly done, and an
increasing horror at the thought of the women who used these
fortified wines. Is this why so many noble births were complicated?
She knew the poorer folk could not afford to buy from the healers,
they often went to the wise women for simples. Or made their own,
under he healers instruction. She had sat by
Cerid
’
s knee, listening
carefully to each word. Now, in the comfort and solitude of her own
thoughts it seemed odd that Cerid should say what she did. What did
she mean by what had become of her lore? Had she once been a
healer? She put the thought aside for now, concentrating on her
task at hand. She had a feeling she would end up running
late.

She plucked
up an empty bottle and to it added some of the dried snakeweed.
Adding to this the dried flowers, like fluffy brown buttons, of
Mugwort.
“
To help will a
speedy delivery.
”
She then
measured out syrup of Arrach. She had been surprised by this, it
grew in dung and stunk, like really stunk. But it was a herb which
once was almost only used to treat the womb. Added also was a
conserve of Betony.
“
for a
swift and easy delivery, and also to ease the
pains.
”

To all this she decanted the wine, the rich
aromas contrasting with the sharpness of the herbs, and fishy smell
of the Arrach. It should be served warm with honey. She carefully
stoppered it, admiring her handiwork. Meredith began to clear away,
gently humming the strange melody she had heard the first time she
met Cerid Wren.

Once
everything was placed away neatly she took up a basket, placing the
things she would need for her lesson with Tomas inside. Onto these
she placed the honey, wine and tea. She should have enough just
time to deliver them to her mother before her afternoon lesson. She
heard the door open and Tansy appeared in the parlour. Her new
attire suited her well. Much the same as the old but of finer cloth
with the addition of a scarlet apron, the rose sigils embroidered
on her breast and curving along each hem. It marked her as a body
servant of the royal family. Behind the rose lay a twisted wreath
of Samphire, deep green black, the sigil of her
mother
’
s House. In her hair
twined the pink and red ribbons. Tansy caught sight of Mera, her
pretty lips pinched and her hands rose to rest on her hips. Her
eyes swept everything; the room, the fuller workbench, the basket
and content, and her. Mera felt a blush rise, that look never boded
well. Lip caught between her teeth she noticed that
Tansy
’
s soft boots were
muddy.

“
Where are
you going? Oh, and did you enjoy your outing this morning? You woke
me as you snuck out of the door, you knew you were supposed to be
seeing the seamstress today! You need a dress for the Midwinter
solstice, and your others need letting out. I followed you, you
know? Yes! Don
’
t look so
shocked. How am I supposed to do my job if you keep
disappearing?
”

“
Tansy,
I
…”

“
No! No more
excuses or vague reasons. I know you go to the woods. Why?
It
’
s dangerous! Do you know
how much trouble we
’
ll get
in? Do you really trust me that little?
”

Mera was
surprised to see Tansy
’
s
bluff exterior melting, to reveal hurt. What was she supposed to
do? She was supposed to keep her meetings secret, but she
couldn
’
t let Tansy get
upset, or get them both into trouble. She
had
forgotten about the
fitting. She was so sure she had been careful to make sure she
didn
’
t miss too
much.

“
And
don
’
t say
you
’
ve been running in the
town with the children because I asked and they
haven
’
t seen you for
months!
”

Mera turned
away, putting down her basket and trying to think of what to say.
It was true she hadn
’
t
played with the children in awhile. Before she had met Cerid there
had been difficulties because of her stature, then after she had
been so busy with her studies. She had seen them when she went to
market once or twice. They had seen her and her full purse and
ignored all her greetings. She hadn
’
t had the courage to seek them out after that.
“
I
don
’
t think they like me
anymore, Tansy. And I
’
ve
been so busy with lessons. You know I have to study with Tomas.
And
…
and
…
oh, Tansy.
I
’
m sorry. But I want to be
a healer!
”

There, that
was truth without mentioning Cerid Wren.
Tansy
’
s face expressed
surprise.
“
But you
can
’
t,
you
’
re a lady, a Princess!
Their Highness
’
will never
allow you to become a healer. You have to study to serve your
country, to marry well and live in luxury.
”

“
Be pampered
and do nothing, just have lots of babies. Lots of strong sons to do
all the things I want to do, you mean! While I learn how to sew and
simper!
”

“
But you
don
’
t have to worry for
anything! You
’
ll never go
hungry, you have everything you could want. Why would you want to
be a healer? Surrounded by illness all the time,
that
’
s no life for one such
as you.
”

“
It
wasn
’
t always like that! I
know, I
’
ve read the books
Tomas assigned. Once all nobles had skills, you know each House has
its province, but once they too worked within that. Nobles
weren
’
t always just symbols
of wealth to be traded, and women received more respect as well. We
have had Queens!
”

“
Oh Mera, not
for a long time. Things have changed, I know the old tales too.
Queen Rosalind with her Knights of Ivy, and a voice that was magic
itself. But if the world was ever like that, it
isn
’
t anymore. You are
becoming a woman now, you must set aside childish dreams. You will
grow up, you will fall in love and marry, and when your children
come you will love them and run your household. You are lucky, you
will never have to worry that your children will starve. You will
always have wealth, have security. I wish my
life
’
s path was so
secure.
”

Mera
’
s shoulders
slumped, how could she explain it without seeming ungrateful? It
was true what Tansy said. She had seen how hard Tansy worked, how
hard all the poorer folk worked. She could understand why they
looked upon her position as wondrous. To Mera that seemed more a
childish dream, to be a Princess. In reality she knew she was just
chattel.