Open Skies (12 page)

She lowered her forehead and laid it on his chest. He gently pulled her in closer, stroked her unruly curls. “Julie? You still there?”

She felt his voice rumble in his chest and she pressed herself against that sound. In response, he held on tighter, liking the way that she felt on him.

When the first sob burst out of her throat, she panicked.
Oh, no, no, no. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
Then another sob came out, and another. The tears coursed down her cheeks, unchecked. She couldn’t stop it, this wave of sadness and loneliness and regret for it all: her mother and her father, for Steve and her job and her whole safe, settled life in New York. It was all just too much, all of a sudden.

Jake was astounded to find a crying woman in his arms – especially
this
woman. Dear God, what was going on inside of her? He hadn’t even suspected that Julie was capable of being so hurt and vulnerable.

He held her as close as he could, pressed his hardness against her curves. It surprised him that he just wanted to keep her safe, to take away some of what was hurting her so deeply. He buried his face in her hair and murmured her name, telling her that everything was OK, and that he had her, and that she was safe there with him.

Julie barely heard his words; all she could feel was his body against hers. He was huge, and hard, and strong. Her knees could barely support her and she leaned on him with all her weight, trusting him to hold her up. She let go, for the first time in a long time.

Minutes passed. Julie had stopped crying, but her body still shook. Jake had stopped whispering, but he hadn’t loosened his grip on her. Their breaths came at the same time now, in and out; she was melded against him, her body fit his perfectly. Her breasts were pressed against his muscled torso and she felt his hardness against every inch of her body.

He ran his hands through her hair, then stroked her neck. He lifted her chin and gazed at her, searching her beautiful face for signs that she was OK. She looked back up at him, saw the heat and desire in those gray eyes. Without one second of thought, she lifted herself up on her tiptoes and kissed him.

His lips were warm and surprisingly soft, and they moved gently on hers. His tongue entered her mouth cautiously, and when she moaned and curled her fingers in to his t-shirt, clinging to his chest, his kiss deepened. His hands moved down her throat, across her breasts. She shuddered and opened her mouth to him. He slid his hands around her waist now, moving down her butt, and she suddenly realized what was going on.

She wrenched her lips away from his, put her hands up to push him away. “Stop. Jake, stop.”

Jake immediately released her. She took one stumbling step backwards and held on to the desk for support, breathing heavily.

“What’s wrong?” Jake said. “Did I hurt you?”

“No.” Julie couldn’t bring herself to look him in the face.
What the fuck were you thinking? You have known this guy for exactly ten minutes. You’ve never gone on a date with him, never had a meal together, never even had a civil conversation until two minutes ago. Jesus, Julie.
“No. I just – I shouldn’t have – I mean, we shouldn’t…”

“Oh, right.” His face was tight with anger. “You’re going to tell me that was a mistake, right?”

“Yes.” She forced herself to look at him. “It was.”

“Listen, lady.
You
kissed
me.
” His eyes were spitting fire. “Don’t you even think of accusing me of doing anything you didn’t want to do.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Julie said. “I was – it was a moment of weakness. I wasn’t really in my right head, after passing out and getting so upset.” She took a shaky breath. “It just felt – nice to have somebody hold me. To be close to someone. I was so scared when I came to on the sofa. It was a – a shock.”

Jake regarded her, saw her lowered face, and softened a bit. She was right, actually. Not even fifteen minutes ago, she’d been out cold; five minutes ago, she’d been crying in his arms. It was kind of an asshole move on his part, to take advantage of her in such a vulnerable state. She was right to stop things from going too far.

“OK,” he said, calmer now. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

“No, don’t you apologize,” Jake said. “You weren’t really yourself… I was a jerk for not seeing that.”

“No, it’s OK.” She sat down again in the desk chair and took a breath.

He studied her, took in her pallor. “Did you eat today?”

She shook her head.

“Why don’t we go and get you something from the restaurant?”

“No, thank you. I can’t face food right now.”

“You look exhausted, Julie. Are you getting enough rest?”

She managed a wan grin. “No.”

He came over to her and she shrank back against the chair.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said softly.

“I know,” she said.

Jake smiled now, his face lighting up and lightening. “Listen. Truce, OK?”

“What?”

“I mean, this whole stupid thing we’ve been doing. The arguing and sniping and glaring at each other. You’ve got enough weighing on your mind, and I haven’t helped. Truce.”

Julie stared at him, taken aback. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

He stuck out his hand and she grasped it. Their eyes met for a second, and they both remembered being pressed against each other – her softness and his hardness, so perfect together – and dropped hands.

“OK, well. I’d better get going,” Jake said. “I have some things to do at the stables. If you’re OK, that is. Do you want me to walk you home?”

“No, thanks. I’m really fine now.”

“OK. If you’re sure.”

An idea had just come to her. “Actually, Jake? Can you hang on a second?”

“Yeah.”

She went to one of the bookshelves and opened it up. She took out two framed photographs: Jake and her father sitting on the porch, drinking beer and grinning. And her father up on a horse, Jake standing next to him. She brought them over to Jake. “I thought you might want these.”

Astonished, he stared down at them. “I thought you threw them away...”

She was embarrassed. “I lied to you about that. What you said at the stables last week, about me never caring for anything – it hurt me so badly. And when you came by here yesterday, and you were so upset about the pictures being gone, I – I saw a chance to hurt you back.” She was blushing bright red. “It was cruel. I’m sorry.”

He stood there, holding the pictures in his hands. Dave smiling up at him, strong and healthy and kind. He blinked back sudden tears.

“It’s OK, Julie. I get why you did it and I totally deserved it.”

“No. No, you didn’t. It was horrible behavior. But it won’t happen again, I swear.”

He smiled. “Thank you for these. They really mean a lot to me.”

She smiled back at him, the first real smile she’d ever given him, and it took his breath away. It was radiant.

“You’re welcome. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He paused. “So this means that – that you’ll stay? You won’t leave tomorrow?”

“I’ll stay. For a little while, at least.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

They looked at each other again, that flame still between them. They looked away at the same time.

“OK, well. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

It took a lot of effort for him to not reach for her one more time.

It took a lot of effort for her to not watch him walk away.

She picked up her phone to cancel the taxi, and to cancel her plane ticket.
**
The next morning at eight o’clock there was a soft knock at the door of her cabin.

Julie was sitting in her favorite armchair with a cup of cinnamon coffee, watching the mountains. It was Tuesday morning, and she’d been at Open Skies for just five days, but she found that she was falling in love with the Rockies. Her whole life had fallen apart just a week before, but under the luminous gaze of the mountains, that seemed just fine, somehow. They stood there, gigantic symbols of permanence and strength and stability. They showed her that some things just
were
, and always would be.

The thought gave her comfort.

She got to her feet and went to the door. There was Rob Cathay, dressed in his suit for the office. His hair was tousled from the chilly September wind whipping down from the mountains, and his eyes were bright in his face. He smiled at her.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” she gestured behind her. “Did you want to come in?”

“Actually, I was hoping that you’d want to come out. For breakfast.”

“Sorry?”

“Manny is starting to feel a bit insulted that you haven’t been to sample his breakfast yet.”

“Oh. Oh, no,” Julie said, flustered. “I haven’t meant any offence – I just…”

“I’m joking,” Rob said gently. “But the truth is that I wanted to invite you to eat with me. Maybe we can get to know each other a bit? Plus, I think you need a good meal. I don’t think you’ve eaten properly since you arrived last week.”

“Well, that’s really nice of you. But I have to finish packing – I’m moving out of here today. Up to the Big House, remember?”

“I do. But you have some time. Come on. An hour won’t make that much difference, will it? I’ve asked Joe to move your stuff out around noon… that’s OK, right?”

She looked up in to his face. She noticed for the first time that he was handsome in a down-to-earth kind of way: all-American blond and blue-eyed, boyish features right down to the dimples, a sweet demeanor. She thought he’d be the type who was always too shy to make the first move with a woman, but who’d treat anyone he was with like gold. Julie hadn’t met too many guys in her life that she’d refer to as ‘gentlemen’, but Rob did seem to be one.

“OK,” she said, surprising herself. “I’d really like to join you for breakfast.”

“Good,” Rob said.

“Give me one minute to get ready, OK?”

“Sure. Take your time.”

She went in to the bathroom upstairs and brushed her hair. She hadn’t had time to pull it back in her usual tight chignon, so she just left it loose. She was wearing a simple soft pink shift dress with a white cardigan. She put on a pair of knee-high brown leather boots and chose some silver hoop earrings. She hadn’t fully made-up yet, but she put on a bit of blush and some pink lipstick and spritzed herself with a light rose scent.

“OK,” she said to Rob. “I’m ready.”

He stood up and reached for her coat by the door. He held it for her, helped her to put it on.

She smiled up at him. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Ms. Everett.” He opened the door.

“Julie. My name is Julie.”

“And I’m Rob.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Rob.”

He looked at her, seeing her almost for the very first time. “And you too, Julie.” He thought about the look on Mattie’s face the day before when she’d told him about Julie never having known her father. “We’re all going to find it nice to get to know you.”
**
At about noon that day, Julie heard a knock at the cabin door. She squared her shoulders and went to answer it.

There stood Joe, Rob, Jake, Phil and Mike. She blinked in astonishment at them all.

“Umm. Hi?”

“Hey, Julie.” Rob grinned at the look on her face.

“Uh. I don’t think it’ll take six of us to carry four bags over to the Big House, will it?”

“No. But we’ll help you pack some stuff up over there.”

She paused. “Sorry, what do you mean?”

“Nobody’s touched the Big House since Dave died, except to clean it, empty the fridge, that kind of thing. We left it as it was, since we figured you'd want to move in to Dave's place and you'd sort it all out yourself.”

It dawned on her what that meant. “So – so all of his things are still there? Clothes and photos and personal belongings…”

Rob nodded. “And he never really dealt with Margaret’s things, either, so there are still her clothes and stuff, too.”

“Oh.” She felt a wave of dizziness pass over her.

Jake saw the look on her face and immediately recognized it as the same one that he had seen in her office, right before she fell towards him, pale and limp and shaking. He reached out a steadying hand, held on to her elbow gently. “You OK?”

Julie took a deep breath. “I think so. I just – I wasn’t expecting that.”

Phil’s normally unruffled face was perturbed. “Julie, listen… in light of everything we know now about you and your father, maybe it’d be best if you just went on up to the main building and let us pack up his and Margaret’s things in the Big House. We can get it all done in two hours, I figure, and you can move in to a cleared house. It’d be like a blank slate.”

She thought about that. “Yes, but… if you do that, then all his things will be in boxes and stored away, right?”

“Right,” Phil said. “We’d keep it all in one of the storage rooms, maybe down at the stables. We won’t get rid of anything until you say so.”

She nodded.

Jake was watching her closely, his hand still on her arm. “So, what do you think?”

She returned his gaze. “I’m not sure. I mean… I’m kind of wondering if I’ll regret not seeing his home as it was when he lived there. I feel like this is a chance to know him. Do I want to pass it up?”

The men were silent, looking at her, watching her make up her mind.

“OK, let’s go. Let’s all go. I’ll try – I’ll see how it goes.” She smiled. “If it gets to be a bit too overwhelming, I’ll leave it to you all. Deal?”

“OK,” Rob said. “So, let’s grab the bags and head over. You tell us if you want to leave, and we’ll get everything ready for you.”

“Fine.” She handed Rob the key to the cabin, picked up her purse and stepped aside so Joe, Mike and Phil could get the bags from the middle of the floor.

She and Jake walked over to the Big House together, not talking. She glanced at him, wondering if he was going to be upset by going in to Dave’s house.

“Jake?”

He turned to her. “Yeah?”

“Is this going to be hard for all of you – to go in to his place? Have any of you been in there since he died?”

“Oh, yeah,” Jake said. “Me and Rob went to get a suit for the funeral, and his watch and shoes and cufflinks and stuff.”