Operation Christmas (2 page)

Then it occurred to him it might be best all-around if Madeleine didn’t recall his face. Should she place him later, he’d rather she think of him throwing a football or dunking a basketball. Dribbling from hand to hand with cocky confidence, his nimble footwork paying off on a hide-n-seek battlefield where he led patrols to flush the enemy from burnt out villages. It’s best, he told himself for the tenth time.

“Could you hear him?” Tamara returned to the phone. “That goes on every morning until he’s fed.”

“You’ve spoiled him rotten.”

“Honey Bear, that’s what we women do with anything that returns affection. So—” She let it hang a moment and he knew, unfortunately, she’d circled back to the bakery. “What you’re really sayin’ is you finally bump into her and got cold feet.”

“I saw her. I’m satisfied.”

“That’s pathetic.”

“Hey, you came home to a loving husband. I came home to Amputee Dating 101 and feeling less a—” He cut himself off from saying the word out loud. Maybe for fear it was true.

“What? A man? Honey, you’ve only been stripped of your manhood if you’ve been neutered like Puddy Kat. As best I can tell, you’re all there. You need me to swing by and inspect that for you, Lieutenant?”

He laughed for the first time that morning. “No, ma’am. Jamal would whomp my white butt black and blue.”

“Uh-huh. Got that right. How’s the Peetappi monster today? Mine’s got jagged teeth.” Peetappi was Tamara’s affectionate, and somewhat macabre, code name for pain-in-the-butt-phantom-pain. The sister tagged silly names onto everything.

“That about sums up mine.”

“I hear ya. So what about Madeline? You gonna call her and say you saw her today?”

“Why?”

“Come on, Jess. Face it. You’re dying to sit down and have a cup of coffee with her. Reconnect. Not just bump into her for a quick look and see.”

“We were never connected in the first place.”

“Seems to me
you
connected. Now she needs to catch up.”

“I doubt she’s even available.”

“I’m losing patience here. Find a damned phone book. Call her and find out,” Tamara said with a loud harrumph.

“And say what?”

“Say you saw her at the bakery today. Would she like to grab a cup of coffee? If she’s seeing someone, she’ll tell you. Must I think for you too?”

“She doesn’t know me from Adam. Sure, we went to the same high school but she was two years below me. It’ll sound weird.”

“Now you’re makin’ me mad.”

“Guess I’d better hang up then. Hey, thanks for reamin’ me a new one. I knew I could count on you.”

“Uh-huh. Anytime. See you at the Christmas party?”

“Maybe.”

“So now you’re gonna slouch your sorry rear end on the sofa for the next week and pout? That’s a negative, Brother Grant. You’re coming. Mama T’s got a new dress.”

He growled. “Fine. I’ll be there. But that dress better be worth it.”

“It is.”

“Hey, gotta run. Stay out of trouble.”

“You too, Honey Bear.”

Jess disconnected from Tamara’s reality check with old wounds festering. He did want to see Madeleine in some situation other than a doorway. Unfortunately, somewhere between a hospital bed in Munich, Germany, and an honorable discharge, he’d lost more than an arm.

His kid sister’s overboard optimism rang in his ears. “Better a limb than a life,” Crystal liked to say with teenaged exuberance. Or another of her favorites, “Better your left arm than your right.” He did appreciate not needing to relearn all the right-handed tasks he’d known since birth. He hoped to hell Crystal never had reason to become jaded or bitter as he’d become. Or consider it a thrill to hold a beautiful woman in his mind and not his arms. Just his luck the woman who interested him was a war widow.

He flipped on the radio and mulled over the insecurities one arm brought him. Dating once came as natural as walking. Not anymore. And how did he erase the post-arm sports bar scene where he almost got lucky until the woman remembered she needed to be somewhere.
After
she realized he had a prosthetic arm. He’d made light of it and teased, “Hey, babe. Everything below the waist still works.” To which she smiled and said, “Sorry. I don’t do pity sex. Just being honest here.” Ouch. That messed up his mind. Pity sex? And that came without her knowing his chest held a battlefield of burn scars. Talk about a stake to the heart for a guy who once held the title for being a babe magnet.

Jess tapped his thumb against the steering wheel, thinking the next time he got brave enough to trust a woman wouldn’t recoil when they got naked, he’d date a hot brunette like Madeleine. Except this time around he didn’t want just any woman or a one-night stand. He wanted friendship. Someone who wanted to share the rigors of life. Have kids with two arms and two legs, ten fingers and ten toes. The whole enchilada or nothing.

No. Not any woman.

He wanted a woman like Madeleine.

****

The clean, sexy smell of the stranger’s aftershave washed over Madeleine when she darted under his arm.
Nice
registered in her brain as she broke into a broad smile upon seeing her mom. She pulled back. A customer reached her first to ask a question, allowing Madeleine a chance to glance over her shoulder. The stranger in the doorway might be gone but the tingle of his presence still danced across her skin. No one but Danny had been able to bring her body to life without touching. How very strange and inappropriate.

She let out the breath she held when the customer moved down the glass case. “Mom,” she said in a low voice. “Tiffany called me this morning. She’s pregnant.”

“So soon?”

“I know. Go figure. Isn’t it great! Baby number two will arrive shortly before Caleb’s second birthday. Tiffany’s surprised but crazy happy.”

“What a wonderful Christmas present.”

Madeleine lowered her eyes, seeing the flush of joy spread across her mom’s face. A stab of envy twisted in her heart. She balled a gloved fist at her midsection. Not that she begrudged her best friend her fertile mishap. The yearning to experience motherhood firsthand meant she would have to grin and bear it while Tiffany bubbled over with enthusiasm about her new pregnancy
and
Caleb’s being the smartest baby ever.

She stepped aside when the customer moved to the register to pay. Deciding it a good opportunity to leave, she gave her mom a hand signal she would call.

“Madeleine, wait. I’ll be right with you.” Her mother gave her a pleading gaze from behind the register. The machine ground out a receipt for a fresh bread purchase. “I’ve a favor.”

“Oh, oh,” Madeleine quipped to the customer. “This is where I should run, not walk. That’s my mom, and I’m sure a
favor
means I’m in trouble.”

The woman grinned and glanced toward the window. “I don’t think any of us will be running far today. They’re saying eight inches.”

Janet Belmar nodded. “It’s beautiful. It feels like Christmas.”

The woman left and her mom leveled her with sympathetic eyes. “Come. Let’s talk.”

“Can’t. I’ll be late for work.” Tears glittered and turned the room fuzzy as she dutifully followed her mom into the short hall that also accommodated a bathroom. An equally small office sat across from it. The heart of the bakery lay straight ahead. She lifted her hand to wave at her dad who worked alongside another baker. Grams would have been in the bakery today as well, but had stayed home with a cold. She accepted a tissue pulled from her mom’s pocket.

Janet took firm hold of her daughter’s shoulders. “I know you, sweetheart. We went through this the last time Tiffany got pregnant. You’re young. You’ll have you own babies one day. You’ll see.”

“Mom, I don’t have time for this.” She bit down on her trembling lower lip.

“You have to move on, sweetheart. Find some nice boy and date. Danny would have—”

“Don’t say it.” Madeleine shrugged out of her mother’s grasp and held up a hand. “Don’t. It’s about what I want, Mom. Danny doesn’t get a say in this now, does he?”

“Oh, Madeleine.” Her mother’s sturdy frame seemed to wilt before her eyes. “I love Grams, but please don’t take on her bitterness.”

“Sorry.” She squeezed her mother’s outstretched hand and held on for dear life. “But, really, I’ve gotta run. I can’t afford to be late again.”

“Wait. Before I forget. I do have a favor. Dad and I are going Christmas shopping tonight. You and Grams are on your own. Keep her company, would you? I know she’s hard to take sometimes, but sit with her a spell. Tell her about your day. She worries about you. Okay?”

“Of course. Why would you even ask? Really, Mom. Just go have fun.”

Her mom grinned. “Christmas shopping with your father? Unlikely.”

Madeleine turned to leave, stopping to admire the holiday tin Belmar Bakery used to package Christmas cookie gifts. She ran her fingers over the raised imprint of an angel with wings spread over the tin’s lid. “This is beautiful. Love the colors.”

Janet tilted her head to gaze at the tin. “I can’t remember a prettier tin. Grams found it and insisted we use it this year even if it did cost more. She said it would bring luck. And I need not tell you Grams can be very persistent.”

Madeleine heard her mom’s effort to lighten the mood, but she was unable to pull her gaze from the angel. “Where was Danny’s angel, Mom? What good did all our prayers do?”

Seeing her mom tear up, they reached for each other and hugged. Words no longer provided answers. She lifted her gaze to the large bakery clock. “Yikes. I’m going to be late if I don’t hustle. In fact,” she gave her mom a quick peck on the cheek, “I
am
late. Bye.”

“Bye, sweetheart. Drive safe. It’s really coming down now. Think happy thoughts.”

“Rainbows and butterflies.”

“Not sappy thoughts. Happy thoughts.”

Madeleine laughed. “Thanks, Mom. I will.”

The slap of cold and her mom’s lame joke did wonders to redistribute her emotions. Her eyes flicked to the clock on the dashboard. Yep. Late again. Her boss would be steamed snowstorm or no snowstorm. Although young, he miserly counted the minutes late without any consideration for the many after-hours she spent at the office.

She understood very well this personal venture represented his first attempt at a start-up company, but really! She kept the books, and they showed a profit in a less than stellar economy. His recent moods were too much. It appeared Kurt channeled more negative Christmas attitudes than she did. Was he so self-absorbed he’d forgotten she struggled with this being the second anniversary of Danny’s Humvee bombing? Geez, she
did not
need Kurt morphing into some nasty modern-day Scrooge at such a vulnerable time.

Suddenly, the light ahead changed to red. Her foot hit the brake—
thump thump thump thump
. The anti-skid brakes always scared her witless. Today, her heart catapulted straight to her throat as the car slid every which way with little response to which way she turned the wheel.

“Turn into a slid. Turn into a slid,” she whispered as Gram’s Mini Cooper skidded to a stop halfway through the intersection. With a white-knuckled grip tight around the steering wheel, Madeleine maneuvered the car out of the path of oncoming traffic glad to escape the stares of other drivers and relieved she didn’t hit anyone.

This was her life. Out of control and on a disaster course.

Kurt caused tension at work; Grams at home. She felt trapped by her finances. New employment opportunities were far and few between so she clung to the job to save up for a down payment on a small house or condo. If that ever happened, she’d need the job to support herself. Gram’s hand-me-down car meant she didn’t have a car payment when she sold Danny’s gas-hog sports car to his brother. While her savings might be growing, her confidence lagged far behind.

Living apart from her folks would be hard, especially when Danny had insisted she stay with them until he got out of the Army. “So I don’t worry,” he told her, when she balked at giving up their small apartment. “I don’t want you alone at night.”

Madeleine found out quick, in the empty months she waited for her lease to expire, Danny’s concerns were valid. However, of late,
grow up and move on
crossed her mind more than once. Away from all the protective pampering she received at home. “I’ve grown up plenty,” she muttered to shut up the little voice in her head. “I’ve buried the love of my life.”

All her hopes and dreams for a bright future lie buried with Danny.
Make new dreams
. How could she make new dreams when nightmares about his death invaded her sleep and made for restless nights? They were part of the reason she feared moving out and being alone.

At the entrance of her work’s parking lot, the Mini fishtailed an impressive S. The office lights burned bright. Kurt’s four-wheel drive SUV sat in its usual place, but no one else had arrived, which gave her some measure of relief.

Gathering her packed lunch, Madeleine hurried through blinding snow to an office with no Christmas decorations and less holiday spirit. The one person cheerful enough to put up decorations had left in a snit last week after one of Kurt’s tirades and took her decorations with her. Madeleine’s only holiday cheer consisted of a snowman candy dish and a floppy Santa atop her computer screen and endless bakery contributions to the counter by the coffeepot.