âI get you. We send the animal crunchies flying!' Louisa said.
âExactly. And Ann, you can stand at the side there and get them with the broom handle the moment they walk through the door. Then you get back here and start hurling the light bulbs and whatnot at them.'
âI get all the good jobs.' Ann grinned, picking up the broom.
âLouisa, try to catapult some of the animal crunchies out the open hole in the roof as well,' Beans said.
âWhy? Surely . . .' Louisa began.
âShush! I think they're coming back,' Ann hissed.
Immediately they all fell silent. The crunch of heavy footsteps on the dry garden grass could be heard. Ann took up position by the door. Louisa and Beans armed their makeshift catapults. Beans didn't dare breathe in case she gave the game away.
This was it . . .
The key turned in the padlock. The door opened.
âRight then, Beatrice Conran. I warned you . . .'
âGO!' Beans shouted.
TWANG!
The elastic in each girl's catapult leapt forward. The animal crunchies whizzed towards the two men. One flew over their heads before exploding. The other smacked Lucas in the chest before the blast went off. BOOOOM! BOOOOOOOM!
âWhat the . . .' Julian exclaimed, ducking.
Ann seized her chance, whilst Lucas was fighting off the strips of Sellotape and Julian was ducking out of the way of another exploding animal crunchie.
âTake that!' Ann shouted.
She whacked Lucas across the stomach with the broom handle.
âAnd that!' she screamed, swinging lower to whack Julian across his shins.
âGet them!' Louisa shouted, arming her catapult again.
âAnn, get back!' Beans yelled above the explosions going off all around them.
Ann carried on hitting out with her broom handle. Lucas made an angry grab for her. With a squeak, Ann leapt backwards out of his grasp, before running back to her friends.
âWow! What a racket!' Ann whooped over the sound of another explosion.
âThat's the idea!' Beans yelled back. âIf this doesn't get Mr McKee running to his phone to call the police, then I don't know what will.'
âYour neighbour?' Ann shouted, puzzled. âOf course. His threat on Friday morning.'
âYou've got it!' Beans grinned. âRe-load with more than one crunchie at a time! GO!'
The noise was phenomenal. Like the sound of a whole volley of cannons going off at once.
BOOOOOOOOMMMMM!
Four or five animal crunchies went off simultaneously.
âMy dad might have some weird ideas about making shortcake biscuits, but he knows his explosions!' Beans yelled proudly.
âYou girls just wait!' Lucas shouted, ducking to avoid a volley of animal crunchies heading straight for him.
âGotcha!' Ann leapt up and down as a well-targeted light bulb hit Julian square on the forehead.
Again and again, Beans and her friends loaded up with animal crunchies and light bulbs and anything else that would make a good weapon and sent them flying. Lucas and Julian couldn't get anywhere near the girls.
âLucas, leave them. We'd better disappear before . . .'
But it was too late. Up the side path came Mr McKee.
âWhat's going on here?' Mr McKee ranted. âI'll have all of you know that I've called the police. I warned you . . .'
âMR MCKEE, HELP US! STOP THEM! THEY'VE KIDNAPPED MY DAD!' Beans screamed over and over.
Lucas and Julian made a break for it, but the attempt was hopeless. Mr McKee only needed a quick glance at Beans's frantic expression to know that
something
was going on. Lucas tried to barge past him. Mr McKee stuck out his foot and tripped him up, then he fell heavily on top of Lucas like some kind of all-in wrestler. Ann and Louisa went charging after Julian. Louisa jumped on his back, whilst Ann renewed her attack on his shins with the broom-stick handle. Julian sank to his knees in agony. Beans rushed over to Mr McKee, ready to help him with Lucas. Mr McKee didn't need much help! He was sitting on Lucas and had the man's arms twisted behind his back.
Mr McKee turned his head, a deep frown on his face. âBeatrice, would you mind telling me what on earth is going on?'
Fifteen minutes later, Louisa, Ann and Beans were seated in the kitchen, explaining to Sergeant Spicer exactly what had happened.
âI was banking on Mr McKee calling the police,' Beans said. âI didn't want Lucas and Julian to get away.'
âDon't worry. They're on their way to the police station,' smiled Sergeant Spicer. âThey won't be going anywhere in a hurry.'
Beans wanted to go with the police when they went to Julian Warner's house to pick up her dad, but Sergeant Spicer wouldn't allow it.
âIt's best you wait here,' he said. âI would've thought that you three girls could stand the rest!'
Beans spent the time watching the clock on the sitting-room wall. Each second seemed to take at least an hour to tick by.
âAll this waiting is driving me crazy,' Beans admitted to Louisa and Ann. âWhat if Dad . . .'
âNo “what ifs”.' Louisa said firmly. âYour dad is on his way home right now. And he's fine.'
âYeah, of course he is,' Ann agreed. âI just know he is.'
And she was right. An hour and ten minutes later, the front door opened.
âBeans! Beans, are you in there?'
âDAD!' Beans bounded off the sofa before anyone could stop her. She ran into the hall and flung herself at her father. He looked bone tired but very, very happy.
âOh Dad, I was so worried,' Beans sniffed.
âIt's over,' her dad smiled. âI'm home now. And, the police tell me that it's all thanks to you.'
âAnd Louisa and Ann. I couldn't have done it without them,' Beans said, grinning at her friends who'd followed her into the hall.
âThank you, Louisa,' Dad said to Louisa. He turned to Ann. âAnd thank you, Ann. I won't forget it.'
âYou're dead welcome, Mr C.,' Ann grinned, sniffing so her eyes wouldn't leak.
âYeah. Dead welcome!' Louisa could hardly get the words out.
The front door opened.
âWhat's going on? Why are all those people outside? Beans, I hope . . .' Gran froze as she saw her son. âDaniel. You . . . you . . .' Gran covered the distance between them in about one second flat! She hugged Beans's father so tight that he started coughing. âDaniel, I ought to clunk you over the head with my handbag! Are you all right? I was worried sick.'
âI'm fine, Mum,' Beans's dad smiled. âI'm home now.'
âI hope this means that there'll be no more inventing,' Gran said sternly.
âYou must be joking!' Beans's dad scoffed. âIn fact, being locked up gave me a chance to mull over a couple of new ideas I had for some really useful gadgets.'
âI was afraid of that,' Gran sighed. She pulled away, then smiled. âI'm going to put the kettle on. I'm sure we could all do with a cup of tea. Oh yes, and don't hit the roof but I tidied your workroom. The place was a mess.'
âI'm not going to hit the roof, Mum,' Beans's dad smiled. âI'm too glad to be home.'
âIf anything, you should thank me for my efforts,' Gran retorted, heading towards the kitchen. âIn all my days I've never seen anything in such a state. The house was a mess. Your workroom was worse . . .' She walked into the kitchen, still muttering under her breath.
Beans and her dad looked at each other.
âNag! Nag! Nag!' they whispered in unison.
Gran's head appeared from around the kitchen door.
âI heard that!' she smiled.
THE END
About the Author
MALORIE BLACKMAN has written over fifty books and is acknowledged as one of today's most imaginative and convincing writers for young readers. She has been awarded numerous prizes for her work, including the Red House Children's Book Award and the Fantastic Fiction Award. Malorie has also been shortlisted for the Carnegie Medal. In 2005 she was honoured with the Eleanor Farjeon Award in recognition of her contribution to children's books, and in 2008 she received an OBE for her services to children's literature. She has been described by
The Times
as âa national treasure'. Malorie Blackman is the Children's Laureate 2013â15.
Also available by Malorie Blackman and published by Doubleday/Corgi books:
A.N.T.I.D.O.T.E.
CHECKMATE
DANGEROUS REALITY
DEAD GORGEOUS
HACKER
KNIFE EDGE
NOUGHTS & CROSSES
PIG-HEART BOY
THIEF!
For junior readers, published by Corgi Yearling Books:
CLOUD BUSTING
WHIZZIWIG and Whizziwig Returns
For beginner readers, published by Corgi Pups Books:
SNOW DOG
SPACE RACE
THE MONSTER CRISP-GUZZLER
OPERATION GADGETMAN!
AN RHCP DIGITAL EBOOK 978 1 446 45368 1
Published in Great Britain by RHCP Digital,
an imprint of Random House Children's Publishers UK
A Penguin Random House Company
This ebook edition published 2011
Text copyright © Oneta Malorie Blackman, 1993
Illustrations copyright © Neil Chapman, 2005
First Published in Great Britain
Doubleday edition published 1993
First Corgi Yearling edition published 1995
Corgi Yearling 9780440863074 1995
The right of Malorie Blackman to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988
This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author's and publisher's rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.
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A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.