Oral Exam (11 page)

“Before we go hiking, do you mind looking over my term paper for Medieval Lit?” she asked.

“Sure, where is it?” His muffled voice came from behind the glass door.

“It’s on a memory stick on the side zipper of my black duffel bag.”

“I’ll pull it up on my laptop and print it. I hate editing a computer screen. How do you take your coffee and eggs?” He asked.

“Over-easy and with toast please.” Placing a hand over her hollow stomach, she felt the pains of hunger kick in. “Make that a double order. All this sex has made me hungry.”

Sliding open the door, Seth leaned in and planted a kiss on her lips. “Can’t have my woman hungry,” he laughed. “You need strength for later.”

She watched him shut the shower door and leave the bathroom. Placing a hand to her mouth, Celeste murmured, “My woman?”

A smile creased her lips as she felt elation well inside her chest. Never before had she realized how badly she wanted to be Seth’s woman. Not his girl, not his plaything, not his temptress.

His
woman.

No guy, not even her parents had ever made her feel so wanted. That sense of belonging, of adoration, fueled her weak limbs with renewed energy.

She reached for a bottle of shampoo, squeezing the pearly cream into her palm. Biting her bottom lip, she thought of Seth’s juices sliding down her throat.

Haven’t you had enough, Celeste?

Laughing under her breath, she remembered Seth’s words, “A woman can never have too many orgasms.” So true, as he had proved all night as she hoped he would prove tonight and many more nights to come.

###

“So where are those eggs? I’m famished.” Patting her wet hair dry with a towel, Celeste slid onto a stool by the kitchen counter.

She paused, noting how Seth stood opposite her, his elbows leaning against the counter, propping up his slumped frame. Eyes downcast, deep creases marred his brow. He looked a smaller, weaker version of his former self. Something was wrong. Celeste immediately recalled his age, thinking she had weakened him with too much sex. Panicked, she rushed around the counter to his side.

“Seth? What’s wrong?” She grabbed his shoulder.

He reacted swiftly, snatching away from her grip, coming to full height. “I think you should go.” The creases in his brow had darkened, his soft eyes turning ominous. “What?” She stepped back, unable to comprehend his change in mood. “Why?”

“You’ve mastered Lisa’s list.” Throwing a pile of papers at her, he barred his teeth like a wounded animal. “You don’t need me anymore.”

Panic surged in her chest, threatening to choke back her words. “Lisa’s list?” she rasped. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re too smart to play dumb, Celeste.” His laughter didn’t betray the anger in his voice.

“Seth,” she pleaded. “I can explain.”

“I don’t want your explanations,” he yelled.

Fear overwhelmed her, causing her brain to go numb. She couldn’t lose Seth. She loved him. “Look, it’s just a stupid list. My sorority sister must have put that on my memory stick by mistake.”

He turned his back to her, veins popping out of his neck, his fists clenched. “Get your stuff and get out,” he growled.

Anger had replaced fear. If he loved her like she loved him, why wouldn’t he listen? “You’re behaving like a child.”

Turning, he came upon her in one quick stride. “Choice words coming from a girl,” he snapped.

Shards of rage pounded her skull as she fought the urge to scream. Why was he doing this? Why was he hurting her so badly over a few blowjob laws? His cruel behavior didn’t make sense. He was behaving like an ass, like-her parents. Well, she was tired of being shit on. Not by her parents, and not by the man she thought she loved. Jutting hands on hips, she took a defensive posture.

“Somehow my age didn’t matter when you were fucking me,” she spat.

“No, but it mattered to you.” His eyes narrowed. “Maybe now that I’ve trained you, you can get lucky with Corbin.”

Shame collided with her thoughts, robbed her mind of all reasoning as her limbs went numb. “Corbin?” she whispered.

How does he know about Corbin?

Seth turned again, gripping the sides of the countertop with white-knuckled hands. “That file wasn’t on your memory stick by mistake, Celeste. I don’t want to hear your excuses. For the last time, get out of my house.” His voice broke into a whisper, and his shoulders slumped.

Celeste fought the urge to go to him, to hold him, to find the right words to change his mind. But her body and soul felt drained, as if a strong wind had sucked her spirit dry. She tried to compose her thoughts, tried to make sense of what had just happened. Then she realized she was clutching a paper Seth had thrown at her. She looked down at the crumpled wad in her hand, jaw dropping in horror at the words glaring back.

Happy sucking, Celeste!

Remember, master my list on your professor before you dump him. You might have to go down on your knees for Corbin, but he’ll be the one kissing your ass.

Sisters forever!

Lisa Lang

“O-mi-god!” She dropped the paper and ran. Grabbing her purse and her keys, she forgot about the suitcase. All she could think about was getting out.

Away.

A flood of all her life’s mistakes came rushing back. The time she took second in the State spelling bee and her parents’ refusal to speak to her during the entire flight home. The disappointed looks on their faces when she missed National Merritt Scholar by two points. When she came home from college pregnant and they made her get an abortion, and then sent her to an aunt for the rest of her break.

The noose around her ribcage tightened, threatening to squeeze the air out of her lungs. All that was nothing compared to what she’d done to Seth. The man she loved could never forgive her. Not after this. Her life was ruined.

Chapter Ten

Lying in her bed with the shades pulled, and nursing a pounding headache, Celeste was vaguely aware when Lisa entered their room.

The lights went on, and Celeste shielded her eyes with he forearm. She wasn’t ready to face the reality of day.

“I thought you were sucking your professor this weekend,” Lisa said a little too casually as she threw back their heavy curtains.

“His name is Seth.” Celeste kept her tone even. “And the weekend is ruined along with my life.”

“What the hell happened?” Lisa laughed.

Celeste bolted up, glaring at her friend before the wave of dizziness forced her to lean against the headboard.

“Celeste, you look horrible.” Lisa sat at her bedside, clasping Celeste’s hand. “Have you been crying?”

Pulling free from her grasp, Celeste narrowed her eyes. “How did your blowjob laws end up on my memory stick?”

“I put them on there.” Lisa shrugged. “I told you I was going to test you on them.”

“Well, Seth read them,” she broke off. Celeste repressed the urge to cry. She had shed so many tears this afternoon, she didn’t think she had the strength to cry any more. But at the thought of the pained look in his eyes, of the anger in his voice, and her eyes welled with tears.

Lisa tilted her head, a crease marring her brow. “That sucks. How did he see them?”

Celeste wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Grinding her teeth she said, “I asked him to edit my paper.”

“Oh, sorry.” Lisa grimaced. “Is he mad?”

Best friends were supposed to show a little more compassion. Maybe Lisa wasn’t such a good friend after all. “It’s
over
, Lisa.”

Lisa tossed her hair behind her, and casually examined her manicure. “There’s plenty more guys out there, Celeste.” Casting Celeste a sideways glance, her voice took on a sultry tone. “Corbin’s fraternity party is tonight.”

No use trying to explain her feelings for Seth. If Lisa didn’t get it now, she never would. Rolling on her side, she faced the wall and crouched in a fetal position. “I just want to be alone.”
Before she lost her cool.

Lisa sighed. “I told you to blow him, not fall in love.”

“Go away, Lisa.” Celeste fought to keep her voice even.

“He was too old anyway,” Lisa rambled.

Celeste squinted her eyes, trying to restrain the building rage. “His age doesn’t matter.”

“Alright, chill,” Lisa groaned. “But you’re missing the hottest party of the year.”

With a stifled scream, Celeste scrambled off the bed. Standing toe to toe with her friend, she pointed a finger in Lisa’s chest. “Why can’t you understand—all I want is Seth? I don’t give a damn about a stupid fraternity party.”

She had always been meek, mild, obedient, bending to her parents’ wishes, then to her friends. She was tired of trying to please everyone else. All she wanted now was a little happiness for herself, but her hopes had been shattered.

“Fine.” Lisa rolled her eyes, grabbed her purse and stormed toward the door. “Have it your way. Maybe I’ll take Corbin for myself.”

Celeste turned her back on Lisa. “You can have him,” she whispered.

“You know, if you’re that much in love with the professor, then you should tell him instead of sitting here feeling sorry for yourself.”

Celeste heard the door slam, knowing her friend had left angry. “That makes two people I’ve pissed off today,” she murmured.

Celeste strode towards the window and looked at the outside world. Several of her sisters were playing softball on the lawn, and a girl snuggled in her boyfriend’s arms as they sat on a blanket watching the game. They acted as if the world hadn’t ended. She observed the couple as the girl tilted her head back and the guy kissed her on the forehead.

She and Seth could be kissing right now. They could be making love on a blanket. A pang of longing shot through Celeste’s heart, and she choked back the rising tide of regret in her chest.

Why are you doing this, Celeste? Why are you feeling sorry for yourself? Why are you acting like a damn stupid baby?

Because that’s what she’d done her entire life. Tried so hard to please everyone, then hid inside her protective shell when they were disappointed. Just like her parents had trained her.

Not anymore.

She loved Seth. And she knew she was worthy of his love. Lisa was right. She wasn’t letting him walk away without telling him how she felt. This time, she wouldn’t hang her head in shame. This time, she would fight.

She had to find a way to win back Seth’s heart. She would make a new set of laws, Celeste’s Laws, then march back to his cabin and read them to him. She would make him understand how much she loved him. If he still wanted to discard her love, at least she hadn’t given up. At least she hadn’t surrendered to cowardice.

###

An hour later Celeste drove through the mountains toward Seth’s cabin. With tense fingers, she gripped the steering wheel, feeling the leather burn its texture into her palms. All of her life, she’d approached every obstacle with a desire to win, to please others. This time, she was in it for her—and Seth. Their hearts were at stake, and the risk was never greater. She couldn’t fail.

As she pulled into his gravel drive, her relief mixed with coils of trepidation. His truck was still there. Giving herself no time to change her mind, she jumped out of her jeep, and in quick strides, was at his doorstep. She banged on his door, waiting, feeling the icy shards of fear slice through her limbs and form a knot in her stomach.

Several minutes passed. Celeste’s knuckles were raw from banging on every door and window on Seth’s cabin. She could smell garlic and spices coming from the kitchen, and she also heard the faint sound of classical music. He was probably cooking and doing his best to ignore her. Vaguely aware of the tears sliding down her cheeks, she went back to the front door, banging one more time for good measure.

How can I make him understand if he won’t listen?

The frustrating feeling of hopelessness sank like a lead weight to the bottom of her stomach. Time moved in slow measure, as she struggled to come up with a new plan.

From the corner of her eye, she spotted the porch window was open just a crack.

Just small enough to slip my papers inside? But will he read them?

She had no other choice. She held the papers before her, deciding to read them out loud, too. Remembering the layout of the cabin, she realized the window was fairly close to the living room.

“I know you’re in there, Seth,” she called. “I know you hate to edit on a computer screen, so I printed something out for you.”

She cleared her throat. “Celeste’s laws for finding the man of your dreams. First, age doesn’t matter. What does matter is he cares and you will do anything to make him happy.

Second, if you find a man who is caring, compassionate, and treats you with respect, forget all the other men who came before.

Finally, tell him you love him before it’s too late. Before he walks out of your life and refuses to forgive you.”

She slipped the papers inside the window, climbed into her truck and drove away, trying to understand why he wouldn’t even listen. Had what they shared meant so little? The nausea in her stomach settled, and for the first time, she felt at peace. Maybe she screwed up by seducing him for the wrong reasons. But she’d done everything in her power to make up for it. She hadn’t let a parent or a friend dictate her next move. More than anything, she wanted Seth to be a part of her life. But with or without him, from now on, she would be the one calling the shots.

###

Seth Hamilton pulled into a dark parking garage beneath a crowded office building in Los Angeles. He still couldn’t believe he was here, that he had left his beautiful college town in the mountains—traded everything for the city, for a shot at realizing his dream.

Two months ago, after he’d resigned his position at the university, just three weeks prior to graduation, he had no idea what he would do with his life. All that changed yesterday—when he found that paper trapped behind a curtain at his cabin.

He had no idea when she’d left it. Had it been there for days, for weeks? Maybe she’d come back that morning after he’d foolishly kicked her out. He’d spent the rest of the day hiking, clearing his mind, trying to make sense of his life. After all, he hadn’t expected a woman like Celeste to come back. Not after the way he’d treated her.