Authors: Scottie Futch
“I wonder how this happened?” she asked him.
Scott shook his head. Who knew? Was there a war on? “I’ll have to find out. Give me a moment.”
Aria nodded and he smiled briefly at her before lugging his arm load of mail into the house. He tossed it down on the table and then grabbed his phone. He did not owe the army anything. He had done his part and he had shit to do that was a bit more important than sweeping a motor pool or making coffee for overpaid morons fresh out of college. War was one thing, but most of what he did outside of deployment was mind-numbingly boring.
He called the number provided on the letter and played phone tag with all manner of people ranging from a PFC Andre to a Major Calhoun. Eventually, he was redirected to a First Lieutenant Samantha James. After speaking for a few minutes, Scott’s blood pressure increased further.
“You mean to tell me, that I had to request honorable discharge? I thought that was automatic for enlisted personnel? Only officers had to do that sort of things.” asked Scott testily.
He heard a snort on the other end of the line, followed by a brief few seconds of typing. The good lieutenant almost laughed when she replied, “Well, congratulations. You’ve been promoted.”
Scott blinked slowly. “What?”
“During your last re-enlistment you were approached for field promotion candidacy and you accepted. Correct?”
He shook his head slowly. “What are…? No, they never got back to me about that. Hell, it was years ago.”
“Yes, according to the notification here you were approached according to the newly formed Veteran Gold program. There were so many candidates that there was a four year backlog. Congratulations, potential sir.”
Scott’s left eyelid began to twitch. He knew about the program. Veteran Gold was a more proactive version of the Green to Gold program that the army used to utilize. The original version allowed an active duty soldier to be placed into something akin to the army reserves then attend college for four years. The Veteran Gold program was used to try and coax veteran enlisted soldiers into accepting an officer’s commission when employed in an MOS that had a large number of under-performing officers acquired through traditional channels.
Basically, Veteran Gold was a program to promote highly skilled enlisted soldiers to officer status in short order instead of allowing them to be in the reserves for four years. The army would clean out the dead wood officers periodically and offer immediate officer candidacy to a non-commissioned officer of merit.
“This, but I was out…” said Scott. He could not believe what he was hearing. He did not have a problem with the army life, and a potential officer’s commission was great. Yet, he had far too much to do on ARS that actually mattered.
“You’d be surprised by how much I’ve heard that this week. I’m sorry, but that’s the way of things.” said Lieutenant James.
Scott continued to speak to her for a time, his eyes half-glazed from the shock of what he had heard. The army had brought him back in on a technicality because their crop of officers that had been recently commissioned in the field artillery were basically useless. What else was new? Weren’t most of them barely more than teenagers? He used to see various military cadets over at the OCS constantly. Sometimes he had eaten at the DFAC there during holidays, if the Ranger DFAC was closed for some reason. That was especially true during his airborne training.
The DFAC on Kelly Hill, where his battery was headquartered, often closed down for specific holidays as well, and it was back to the Ranger DFAC after that. It was often disconcerting to sit there and eat his white gravy and biscuits while a ranger in forest camo who rocked a full ZZ Top beard did the same. They didn’t have to shave anything, and it had often made him wish that he’d changed his MOS just for that perk.
At the OCS DFAC things had been different. It was nothing to run across a drunken slutty second lieutenant with more tits than common sense during the holidays. More than one Christmas had come early for him during those times. Though, the vacuous giggles and constant battle cry of, “Oh, yes! Fraternize me sergeant!” had been quite nice early on, they had worn thin as he aged.
Of course, the earliest days had normally involved the drunken slutty post-college lieutenant pulling rank and commanding him to get into the front leaning rest position. Sure, he could point out that such positions were more of an NCO tool, but since the end-result usually resulted in an interesting evening he never complained.
Scott stopped reminiscing about the past and finished his discussion with the lieutenant. Now that he had made contact, he was forced to deal with the situation.
He turned to the doorway and sighed at Aria. “You heard all of that, right?”
“Mostly on your end. They want to make you an officer?”
“No, they want to be a pain in my ass while potentially making me an officer.” said Scott.
Aria sat down on the couch and patted the cushion next to her. Scott sat down beside her then slipped his arm around her waist.
They were silent for a few minutes, as the reality of the situation set in. Scott had been recalled on a technicality.
“When do you have to report?” she asked.
“I was supposed to report weeks ago, but after I explained my situation, the lieutenant said she’d take it to her commanding officer. I’ll see what they say.”
“What if they try to put you on trial or something?” she asked.
“Fuck ‘em. It’s not like they can hold me here. I’ll just live on ARS.” said Scott.
She nodded. “What about if everything goes smoothly and they expect you to report. Are you going to do it?”
Scott was not certain how to answer that. He did not care that much about Earth anymore, but he did have to come back here at times for the immediate future. “I’m not certain.”
“Want a little advice?” she asked.
“Absolutely.”
She smiled at him then poked him in the side. “Let it happen. You never know, you might get something good out of it.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Well, think about your situation. You’re practically a superhero compared to a normal human aren’t you?” she asked.
“Huh? You mean I kept more than just my sexiness and rockstar hair?” asked Scott.
“Yeah, I got to you before you started experimenting, I suppose. But the thing is that you’re you no matter where you are. You’re probably the most powerful being on the planet right now.”
“Shit… that’s bad. They’ll want to study me.”
“Yes, if you’re a wuss about it. Think about what you are, though.” she said.
Scott grinned at her. “So, you’re suggesting that I roll in like a boss and flat out make demands?”
“What are they going to do, shoot you? You’ll just respawn if they manage to kill you. There aren’t even any death penalties here for you.”
“Hah, I wonder how that will go over with Uncle Sam.” said Scott.
A few minutes later, the phone rang. It was Lieutenant James once more. When she told him her commanding officer’s decision, Scott told her that he wished to speak with him. She tried to refuse, but he was insistent. A few minutes passed, and a new voice came over the phone.
They exchanged courtesies then Captain Johnson asked, “What is it that you wanted to speak about?”
“Ah, nothing too important. I just felt that the United States Army needed to know that I’m an immortal magic wielding super soldier who can output more damage than a tank division in one minute flat.”
There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment, followed by a rather curt response. “Sergeant, if you think that acting like a lunatic will get you out of your service obligation you are sorely mistaken.”
“I’m prepared to prove it, if you’re prepared to see the future of modern war fighting.” replied Scott.
“Sergeant, you’re testing my patience.” said the captain, a decided edge in his tone.
“I didn’t ask to speak to you to try your patience. I contacted you to begin negotiations on my terms for employment.” stated Scott. It wasn’t like he really gave a damn what the military wanted, after all.
“Terms for employment! You’ve been recalled to duty! You’ll damned well be here tomorrow morning bright and early, or you’ll be court martialed.”
“I think I’ll be there this afternoon and you’ll see me whether you fucking like it or not, you loud mouthed one-life piss ant.” said Scott.
“That’s it! I’ll have your ass behind bars, sergeant!” snapped the captain.
“I know they repealed don’t ask don’t tell, but I still don’t need to know about your intimate desires captain.” replied Scott flippantly.
An exclamation of inarticulate rage erupted over the phone, before Scott hung up on the man. “Heh, mortals. Am I right?”
Scott glanced at Aria and she could not help but laugh. “Oh, this man O’ mine.” she said.
“Random question, what about all my stuff? You know, my equipment?” asked Scott. He had to plan out a proper show for the angry captain.
“Your inventory is locked, but your body and powers stay the same.” she said.
Scott took her hand then lifted her up. “Aria Ardent, would you do me the honor of helping me take a steaming shit all over military tradition and discipline?”
“Why, my good sir! I would be delighted.” she replied with a winning smile.
They went outside so Scott could test out his abilities a little. He only needed to see if his spells worked as Aria seemed to believe that they would. One explosive burn spell later and he was certain. The burning crater that used to be a large section of his back yard was all he had needed to see.
Curiously, however, he opted to test a few other things out. He ran straight forward as fast as he could go and then leapt with all his might. His strength was many times higher than what a normal human being could dream of achieving. He knew long before he landed that he has just broken at least two Olympic records almost casually. Back on ARS what he had just done was not that big of a deal. However, everyone on Earth was basically some variation of level one and could go no higher. He was a certainly a big deal here.
“You know, it’s too bad that other people can’t go to ARS. We could use a proper military force to train and fight against random assholes and the Lords of Destruction.” said Scott.
Aria grinned at him. “Well, truthfully that could be arranged. Though, you would probably need to keep the numbers low. I’ll have to ask my father to see what he says.”
“Your father?” asked Scott.
“Yes, while taking people to ARS is possible, it’s normally a violation of law to do so. Only special dispensation related situations allow for someone from here to cross-over to there.” she said.
“Ah, like choosing a champion…” said Scott.
“Yes.”
Scott rubbed his chin. “Well, are there any other gods who work on ARS who want champions from Earth?”
“There’s probably a few hundred in the queue.” she admitted. “There are a lot of tech-support deities and administrators who would love to have their very own Earth Human to deal with their crap.”
“I see…” said Scott. It was food for thought, certainly.
Either way, it was already close to noon. If he wanted to run the hundred miles or so to the reserve unit he was attached to, before close of business, he needed to get started. “How fast can you run as Aria?” asked Scott.
“Why run, when I have a car?” she asked.
“A car?” asked Scott. That was new. A lot of things were new, but the idea of Rhea, or rather Aria, behind the wheel of a car was quite a bit odd.
“You’ll see.” she said with a saucy wink.
Scott followed her over to her house just down the road. Strange, he distinctly did not remember there being a house there before. It was a simple single floor abode that boasted a white picket fence around the perimeter.
Aria jogged over to her garage and not long after a bright pink Cadillac wheeled out into the driveway. Scott stared at it for a moment then looked at Aria. “Seriously?”
Aria changed her glasses out to a set of sunglasses that had little heart frames. “Oh, yes.”
Scott hopped into the pink Cadillac then told her where to go. It was going to be a lengthy drive, but at least it promised to be amusing.
Chapter 13: I Believe! I Believe!
A pink Cadillac zipped erratically down a busy highway while a blue-haired man maintained a death grip on his seat belt. That was the way that many people might describe the pink blur that passed them by as Aria drove Scott to his self-imposed appointment.
Aria, for her part, merrily sang along with the song on the radio while she weaved through traffic at break neck speed. Scott, for his part, wondered if infinite respawns were really enough.
She sang louder then made silly little head motions while Scott tried not to cry. He was a man, dammit. This was not ARS. There were no mind-altering effects here. Yet, the love of his life drove like she wanted to end it all and take him with her. He had a right to his terror, even if he also had every reason to believe that he would ultimately survive regardless of the outcome of this joyride from Hell.
After the song ended Aria laughed loudly then shook her head. “The Bare Naked Ladies are awesome…”