Other Side of the Wall (8 page)

Chapter 8

Scott
told me to go and get some rest and he would pick me up later so we could
grocery shop and do whatever else I felt like doing. I wanted to tell him I was
in for a repeat of this morning, minus the tears, but I wasn’t sure if I should
push my luck with him.

As
soon as I walked through my door, I went straight to the fridge and grabbed a
pre-made bottled smoothie and downed it in seconds. Then I headed for the
shower and stayed there until the hot water ran out. I didn’t bother with hair
or make-up; I just threw on my robe, curled up on my bed, and slept for a
couple of more hours. I was getting too old to stay up all night. When I woke
up, I still felt tired, but I didn’t want to waste away the day in bed, and I
really wanted to see Scott. This morning had given me hope that maybe, just
maybe, we could be more than friends.

I
know grocery shopping doesn’t sound exciting, but I just loved being with him.
I didn’t care what we did. I also remembered my Mom’s words to me about Peter: we
hadn’t lived enough real life around each other. I didn’t know where Scott and
I were headed, but one thing I could say for sure was that we were living real
life together.

Around
two, Scott came over and we headed to the nearby Whole Foods. He surprised me
again by holding my hand in the parking lot as we walked in. The ring was still
gone. I wondered why he finally took it off, but no matter the reason, I was
happy about it. I loved the way my hand felt in his, and I loved the way he
looked down at me and smiled. He had a ways to look down, too, as he was quite
a bit taller than me. I stood at 5’4’, and he was at least 6’ 2’.

We
were like an old married couple as we shopped. I added things to his cart that
I knew he bought on a weekly basis, and he did the same for me. I had a feeling,
though, that we might have annoyed the other shoppers as we took our time going
through each aisle side by side, talking to one another. It was like only we existed.

He
filled me in on the beluga calf and one of his newly pregnant dolphins. He
sounded like a proud daddy. I told him about my time with his mom and how I was
going to have lunch with her on Tuesday. He looked at me strangely.

“Is
that alright with you?” I asked

He
stopped in the middle of the aisle and stared at me. He didn’t say anything for
a second. “I think it’s great you get along with my mom, it’s just I wish she
and Jenna would have gotten along better.”

I
didn’t know what to say. I knew his mom didn’t like Jenna, and it sounded like
perhaps she had valid reasons, but I’m pretty sure Scott didn’t need or want me
to express that. I also wished we could go one day together without him
mentioning her, especially in relation to me. I know it was selfish and maybe
even wrong to feel that way, but I couldn’t help it.

I
decided to respond to it by changing the subject. “How about I make dinner for
us tonight?”

I
think I caught him off guard. “Are you sure you’re up to it?”

I
winked. “I think I can manage it.”

“That
sounds great then.”

We
finished our shopping with no more talk of Jenna. Besides I already knew
everything she liked and disliked at that store, and like most things, it was the
opposite of my taste. At least the dislikes; she seemed like a very picky and
particular person that found fault in things that I wouldn’t have even noticed.
The more I knew about her, the more I didn’t see her and Scott together, but I
guess opposites attract. I wondered if that didn’t bode well for the two of us.

But
Scott was just full of surprises today. First, he walked over to the floral
section and asked me what kind of flowers I liked. I told him I pretty much
loved all flowers, but I loved the sunflower bouquets that came out this time
of year, so he picked out the biggest bouquet he could find and put it in his
cart. He teasingly thanked me for the suggestion and hoped the woman he was
having dinner with liked them. Then, in the parking lot with our carts, he
raced me to his car. Of course, he won—his legs are much longer than mine, and
he wasn’t up all night treating patients, but I demanded a rematch the next
weekend. He said I was on. I just loved to see him happy and laughing.

Scott
helped me in with my groceries and said he would be back in an hour. I didn’t know
why, but I changed into something nicer. I had been wearing yoga pants and a
t-shirt, which was totally appropriate for grocery shopping and hanging out
with your friend, but for some reason I felt like tonight was more like a date
(at least I thought so). He was bringing flowers, after all. I also touched up
my hair and make-up. I was still loving my new do.

I
was going to make balsamic steak rolls and garlic mashed potatoes, so I began
chopping the peppers, carrots, and celery all julienne style. Just as I was
peeling the potatoes, there was a knock on my door. For some reason, I felt a
little nervous. I knew I shouldn’t, it was just Scott, but it felt different.

I
opened the door to find that he had changed into something nicer too. I
couldn’t help but grin. He stood with his hands behind his back. As soon as I greeted
him, he pulled the flowers from behind his back.

I
eagerly accepted them and breathed in their scent. “For me? What a surprise. You
have excellent taste.”

He
winked. “I had a feeling you would like them.”

“Thank
you. I really do love them.”

“You’re
welcome, Ava.”

He
followed me back to the kitchen and I immediately pulled out one of the many
vases I had. Peter had sent me an inordinate amount of flowers after our
separation. The flowers had always gone in the trash, but I hated throwing away
the vases. As I arranged the flowers in the vase, Scott asked if he could help.
I told him just to sit and relax and that I had it covered; it was the least I
could do for getting him up so early.

Unexpectedly
he took me in his arms and rested his hands on the small of my back. “It’s the
best wake-up call I’ve had in a long time.”

I
looked up at him. “Is that so?”

“Yes,
Ava.”

“Thank
you, Scott. You don’t know what it meant to me.”

He
grinned mischievously. “I think I may have an idea, you kept saying my name in
your sleep.”

I
could feel my face turn red. I hoped he was joking. “I did not.”

“How
can you deny it? You were sleeping.”

Oh,
I was going to deny for eternity. Peter had never mentioned me talking in my
sleep.

“You know, I think I do
need help, you can peel the potatoes,” I said.

“It’s
nothing to be embarrassed about,” he said before letting me go and laughing at
me.

He
was definitely in a lighthearted mood that night. I was curious as to what had
caused the change. Whatever it was, I hoped it continued, and I hoped to find
myself in his arms often. With Scott’s help, dinner was ready in no time. We
ate at the breakfast bar since it was just the two of us.

Halfway
through the meal his mom called. He asked if I minded if he picked up. I told
him not at all. I wanted to stay on his mom’s good side; I had a feeling you
never wanted to get on her bad one. She was so loud I could hear her on the
other end.

“Scott,
this is your mother.” Like he didn’t know. Her voice was unmistakable. He
smiled at me. I’m sure he knew I could hear her loud and clear. “I know I’ve
been trying to stay out of your relationship with Ava, but son, you’re being an
idiot. She’s such a good girl, so smart, so beautiful. You would have to be a
friggin’ moron to let her go. She told me she hasn’t seen you at all this week.
You should have seen how sad she looked. What the heck is wrong with you?”

I
had to stifle my laugh. Scott tried to get a word in, but failed miserably. “Ok,
this is what you are going to do. You’re going to bring her over here tomorrow
night for dinner and games. I mean it, Scotty. If you don’t bring her, don’t
even bother coming over here. I don’t care what you have to do to convince her
to come over here. Maybe buy her some flowers, but nice ones, she looks like a
girl with good taste.”

“Mom!”
he finally got in.

“What
son? Why did you have to yell, I’m your mother.”

He
looked at me and winked. “Mom, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. I just wanted
you to know I’m in the middle of having dinner with Ava now and I already brought
her flowers.”

“Oh,
Scotty, you don’t know how happy that makes me. Tell Ava hi, you know what,
never mind, put her on the phone.”

Scott
rolled his eyes, but he handed me the phone.

“Ava,
sweetheart. How are you? Is my son treating you right? Did he buy nice
flowers?”

I
smiled and winked at an embarrassed Scott.

“He’s
treating me very well; in fact I think he just offered to do the dishes. And,
yes, the flowers are lovely.”

“I
knew you were trouble,” Scott whispered.

I
gave him me best wicked grin.

“Listen
sweetheart, I wanted to invite you over to dinner tomorrow night, you can bring
Scotty if you like.”

“I
would love to come to dinner and bring Scott. What else can I bring? Dessert
perhaps?”

“Oh
no, just yourself will be perfect.”

“I
look forward to it. Thank you!”

We
said our goodbyes and I handed the phone back over to Scott. His mom gave him
more instructions on how to treat me properly and reminded him that no me meant
no invite for him.

He
hung up. “Apparently my mother loves
you
more than she loves me.”

“Well
of course she does, you’re a friggin’ moron.” I tried and failed to use my best
Chicago accent; this southern girl just didn’t have it in her.

Scott
laughed so hard it was worth it. When he was done laughing at me, it was like he
remembered something, and he became a little somber. He looked at me and rested
his palm against my cheek. His hand felt so warm. “Ava, I’m sorry I’ve been
distant lately. I just didn’t expect you and it’s confusing. Does that make
sense?”

I
laid my own hand against his, on my cheek. “Maybe a little. But I’m willing and
totally available to help you clear up any and all confusion surrounding me.”

He
shook his head and smiled. “See, this is what I mean.”

“What?”

“It’s
just you, being you.”

“Is
that a bad thing?”

“No,
Ava, it’s a very good thing and that’s what’s so confusing.”

“Scott,
I’m trying to understand and I don’t mean to be confusing, but I didn’t expect you
either. I didn’t expect a lot of things in my life, but to me, you’re one of
those rare moments when life hands you an unexpected blessing.”

He
looked at me tenderly. “Ava…”

“Yeah?”

“You’re
doing it again.”

“I
can’t be anyone else, Scott.”

I
turned from him and we finished eating.

Chapter 9

After
dinner I asked him if he wanted to watch the movie I had rented the night
before but didn’t get the chance to watch.

He
thought for a moment. “You know, I think I’m just going to go for a run.”

“Do
you want company?” I asked hopefully. Sometimes we ran together.

“Not
tonight, I just need to clear my head,” he responded with no apology.

Apparently
he needed to do that a lot. I got the feeling it was me he wanted to get out of
his head. He stood up. “I’ll do the dishes first.”

“That’s
ok. There’s not much to do, I got it.” I was a clean as you go kind of person.

He
kissed my forehead. “Dinner was great. Goodnight, Ava. I’ll see you tomorrow
night.”

“Yeah,
goodnight.” I tried to keep the hurt out of my voice. I’m not sure how well I
did, but he didn’t even pause. He turned and left. I didn’t even walk him out. I
sat there a little stunned. I felt like I was a yo-yo with him. Up and down and
up and down. My eyes began to water a little and a few tears escaped. It seemed
silly to cry, maybe I was just tired. I got up to do the dishes, but the tears
wouldn’t stop. I decided I was definitely just tired. I also decided I was
lying to myself.

As
soon as my kitchen sparkled, I grabbed the movie and began to walk upstairs. I
would just watch it in my room on my bed, alone. I made it half way up the
stairs when my doorbell rang. Begrudgingly, I made the descent and went to
answer it. I opened the door and there stood Scott in running shorts and a t-shirt.

“Scott?”

He
didn’t wait for an invitation he just walked right in and took me up in his
arms and the movie dropped to the floor. “I am a friggin’ moron,” he said.

I
couldn’t agree more, but now didn’t seem like the time to express that.

He
leaned down and brushed my lips gently with his own. Then he rested his forehead
against mine. “Ava, I’m trying.”

I
placed my hands against his cheeks. “I know,” I whispered.

He
kissed me tenderly once more, and I moved my hands up and through his hair as
he kissed me deeper and with more intensity. It was as amazing as I remembered,
maybe even more so now that I had deeper feelings for him.

“I’ve
been wanting do that for months,” he said as the kissed slowed and we moved
apart.

I
smiled. “I wouldn’t have stopped you.”

He
led me to the couch and held me tight. This is what I had been hoping for.

“Ava,
yesterday would have been my third wedding anniversary,” he said after several
minutes of just holding onto one another.

“Why
didn’t you say anything?”

“Because
I felt guilty for the way I’ve been treating you. Guilty for the way I feel
about you. It was my anniversary, and yet, there I sat missing and wanting you.”

As
happy as I was to hear he was missing me, I hated to think he was feeling
guilty over his feelings for me.

I
sat up to look at him. I stroked his face with my finger. “Scott, I know this
may sound self-motivated, but it’s ok to start to move on.” I pulled up his left
hand and weaved my hand through it. “Just because you took off your ring doesn’t
mean you’ve forgotten her or that you don’t love her. You’re still young and
quite attractive.” I winked at him, and he smiled. “Do you really think she
would want you to stay alone for the rest of your life?”

He
kissed my hand that he now held. “Honestly, maybe.”

Why
didn’t that surprise me? I tried to keep my disdain under check though. “Then
the question is, what do
you
want?”

He
didn’t say anything. He just reached up and gently placed his hand behind my
neck and pulled me toward him and kissed me softly.

“I
like that answer.”

In
response, he smiled and kissed me once more. I ended up with my head against
his chest as he held me tight and stroked my hair. We sat holding on to each
other in the beautiful silence. All I could hear was the beat of his heart, and
it was perfect.

He
stayed for a couple more hours; we talked mostly about me. He had never really
asked me about my relationship with Peter, but for some reason he was quite
interested now. I told him how we met and how I found out about the affair.
That was a little shocking to him, but I told him it was a blessing in disguise:
not that I’m glad it happened, but had I not found out when I did, I would
probably be a single mother and attached to Peter for the rest of my life. He
asked if I regretted marrying Peter. Not long ago I would have said yes,
absolutely, but if I hadn’t married him, I would have never moved to Chicago. And
more and more, I found things I liked about this city, especially Scott. And I
had to admit, I had grown a lot as a person being by myself in this big city.
In the end, I just told Scott that through it all, I was happy I met him. I
hoped he understood what that meant. For some reason, after our conversation,
Scott told me he thought I was amazing. I didn’t know if surviving divorce made
you amazing, but I accepted the compliment from him.

Before
he left, he gave me a long, slow goodnight kiss. The kind that makes you want
to sigh and start the night from the beginning, just so you can replay it.

“Goodnight
beautiful,” he said as he walked out my door.

It
was a much better ending than the first one of the evening.

Sunday
dawned, and I felt fabulous. It’s amazing what a good night’s sleep and a make-out
session can do for one’s spirits. The day only got better from there. Scott and
I enjoyed a picnic in the park and a walk around the lake, hand in hand. I
loved that he could name every plant and creature we came across and could tell
me at least ten facts about each one. I never tired of getting a peak into his
mind. I don’t even think he realized how smart he really was.

As
we walked home, he carried the basket in one hand and held my hand with the
other. He seemed more settled today; we were on the up part of the yo-yo, but I
knew not to get too comfortable there, at least not yet. I knew he was still
grieving and dealing with conflicting emotions, and I was part of that conflict.
But I was going to enjoy it while it lasted and employ patience when it dropped
again.

He
walked me up to my door and kissed me and then grinned. “What do you think our
other neighbors think?”

I
laughed. “I don’t know, I guess I hadn’t thought about it. What do you think?”

He
pulled me closer. “I know what the men are thinking.”

“And
what’s that?”

He
leaned down and just hovered over my lips. I could smell his peppermint on his
breath and it was driving me crazy. “They’re wishing they were me right now.”

“Well
sure, who wouldn’t want to be just like you?”

He
laughed. “You know what I mean, Ava.”

“I
know. I think it’s just so sweet
you
think all the men on our block want
to kiss me.”

He
gave me his look. I just wickedly grinned at him and pulled him down for one
more kiss before I went inside to get ready to go to his parent’s house for
dinner. I put on a straight brown and cream patterned skirt that barely went
above the knee with a cream tank top and cute cropped jean jacket. I paired my
outfit with some leather flats. The sun today had my skin glowing, so I just
added some lip gloss. I still had some roses blooming, so I made a bouquet for
his mom and placed it in one of my many vases. I seriously needed to start
giving them away.

Scott
came back by at five looking very handsome in khaki shorts and a button up
shirt. When he saw the flowers for his mom, he shook his head. “Seriously, Ava,
I think you’re in. I don’t think you need to bring my mother flowers.”

“Fine,
then you can say they’re from you. You obviously need the help.”

He
grinned and took the flowers from my hand and set them on the counter. He
wrapped his arms around my waist. “How about this, we just stay here.”

I
kissed him, and he responded enthusiastically. I could get used to this Scott.

I
looked up to his obviously hungry eyes. “So tempting, but I plan on staying on
your mom’s good side.”

He
kissed me again. “Are you sure?”

“Is
there some reason you don’t want to go?”

“Well,
for starters, I don’t think this would be appropriate at my parents.” He kissed
me softly on the lips. Then he worked his way down to my neck. “Or this,” he
added.

I
grabbed his face and held on, because seriously, he was going to drive me to
say let’s stay. I looked into those beautiful eyes of his. “Seriously, why
don’t you want to go?”

“You
don’t think those are good enough reasons?” he countered.

I
just smiled. Of course I did, but I felt there was something else there.

“Ava,
my relationship with my family has been strained over the last few years
because of Jenna. They never really got along. And honestly, it’s hard for me
to see them take to you so naturally and quickly.”

I
dropped my hands. “Oh. Well, we better get going or we’re going to be late.”

I
turned to grab the flowers and my purse.

He
grabbed my hand and pulled me back. “Ava, that came out wrong, this isn’t about
you.” He tipped my chin up. “Please look at me. Ava, it’s not a surprise my
family likes you so much, you’re incredibly beautiful and warm. I don’t know
anyone that wouldn’t want to be around you.”

“I
could introduce you to my ex’s family.”

He
just ignored my comment. “Ava, I meant what I said. I’m happy my family likes
you. There are just some unresolved issues.” He reached up and briefly rested
his hand on my cheek. “Come here.” He pulled me into a big hug. “Just promise
me we can come back here afterward and resume where we left off.”

“Deal.”

He
let me go. “Ok, you better give me those flowers, because I probably could use
the help.” I gladly handed them over and then we made our way to his car and drove
over to his parents’ home.

They
lived in a nice older neighborhood. It was the same house Scott grew up in, a
brick rambler-style home. The lawn was well taken care of and there were large
maple trees out front that were just beginning to change color. From the looks
of it, his mom was a huge fan of Halloween; she already had the porch decorated
even though we were barely in mid-September. I thought it was great. Scott just
shook his head.

Scott
opened the door for me, and we just walked right in. His mom came right out and
hugged me. When she he turned to her son, I recognized the tension. I hadn’t
noticed it last week, I guess, because for one, I never had tension with my own
parents, and two, at the time I thought they all loved Jenna as much as Scott.
He handed her the flowers, and she got a little misty-eyed.

“Oh,
Scotty,” she said.

I
winked at him. I was glad he gave her the flowers. I think it meant more coming
from him.

“Thank
you,” he mouthed while Myrna’s back was turned to me.

His
dad and brother came out next. His dad shook my hand, but Nick, like his mother,
gave me a big hug. “So have you given any more thought to dating younger men,
Ava?”

I
looked over at Scott. “I think I’ll stay with the older ones … for now.” I
winked at Scott.

He
smiled.

Nick
looked his older brother over. “Please don’t tell me you mean him. Ava, you’re
way too good looking and classy for that loser.”

Scott
came over and territorially put his arms around me from behind. “Any more
questions?”

“Do
you have a sister, Ava?”

I
laughed. “Sorry, just an older brother.”

“Better
luck next time, little brother,” Scott said.

After
all the greetings I asked Myrna if she needed any help. She still thought I was
the most adorable creature for asking. Scott kissed me on the cheek before I
left to help his mom in the kitchen. I think his mom almost burst at the site.
I had mixed emotions about her reaction after the conversation Scott and I had
before we left. Selfishly, I was happy, but I felt guilty. I knew what it was
like to be disliked by your in-laws. I also had to fight the jealous feeling.
Is it terrible to be jealous of a dead woman?

When
we got into the kitchen, Myrna finally did what I had been waiting for her to
do. Well almost. She didn’t quite pinch my cheeks, but she smushed them pretty
good with both of her hands. “Ava, sweetheart, you don’t know how happy you are
making Jerry and me, seeing you together with Scotty. And I don’t ever remember
Scotty bringing me flowers. Oh, you are such a good girl.”

I
pretty much just loved his mom.

I
made the salad while she finished up the sauce. We were having spaghetti and
meatballs. His mom even made homemade French bread, and it smelled heavenly.
She let me have a piece before we served it, and it was divine. I could just
eat that for dinner and be happy. She told me this was Scott’s favorite meal
growing up and she would give me the recipe. She treated me like I had wanted
Piera to.