Our Little Secret (26 page)

And still I don’t let go.

I feel his arm loosening, guiding me, but I just cling on tighter. He stares at me then, his eyes meeting mine, in surprise.

Our faces are inches apart. I can feel his breath.

‘Miss Henshaw,’ he says and my insides melt. ‘Don’t.’

Don’t.

In that one word, my heart soars. In that one word, he acknowledges that there is a choice. That if I don’t stop clinging onto him, everything will change. The choice will have been made.

So I make it.

I don’t care any more. I don’t care about anything other than this moment. That there’s just the two of us, pressed together, in the whole wide blue ocean. Two individuals locked together whilst the rest of the world – the whole rest of the world – is somewhere else. Out of sight and out of mind. There are no consequences, only survival. And right now I might die if I don’t find out what it’s like to kiss him.

I dip my face towards his and close my eyes. I close the gap and feel the delicious fusion of my lips on his, feeling the heat of our bodies in the cool water.

I pull away after a second and stare into his eyes. I have no idea what he’s thinking, but he doesn’t let me go. He looks into my eyes and then at my lips, as if he can’t believe I’ve just kissed him. I hear his breath catching.

For one second, I think he’s going to pull away. That he’s going to be horrified. The water swells around us, moving us. I brace myself to pull away, too, to deal with the avalanche of embarrassment I’ll feel, and the consequences of doing what I’ve just done. But I don’t regret kissing him. I don’t regret taking the risk.

‘You told me never to apologize for expressing myself,’ I whisper.

It’s too much. A step too far. I can see that as his eyes close.

I tense, starting to pull away, but then I feel resistance and his arm clamps around me. Fiercely. Possessively. And I know then that he’s made his decision, too.

56

I hear him moan as we are carried on the swell and our kiss deepens. I wrap my legs around his hips and instinctively he presses against me. I can feel how hard he is beneath his shorts, and I gasp, pulling at his hair, my lips against his, desperate for him. And just as it was that first night I dreamt of kissing him, it feels so right. My mind is screaming . . .
Yes, yes, yes
.

But compared to my dream, this is a million times more vivid. A million times more wonderful.

He swings round to grab hold of both the steps and I’m crushed between him and them.

‘Go up,’ he breathes.

He turns and lifts me then, under my arm, to hoist me onto the steps, and I scramble up the three steps onto the ladder and up to the boat. My legs are shaking too much to stand up. Instead I sit down, scrambling backwards on the hot teak, waiting for him.

He follows quickly behind and slides off the top step onto the deck on top of me, and then I’m beneath him, and Edward Parker fills my vision.

I drink him in. Even having been swimming, he still has his distinctive scent and I’m enveloped in him. I’ve imagined him so many times this close to me, but now that this is happening – now that it’s so thrillingly real – it’s like everything that has gone before has been in black-and-white, and right now I’m experiencing colour for the first time.

Slowly now, he pushes my hair over my ears and stares at me. Then he lowers his head and kisses me again. I arch against him, desperate to feel as much of him as I can. I love the way he kisses. How his tongue flicks against mine. I grab his lip in my teeth and gently tug.

I hook my legs over his calves, hungry for the most contact that I can make, and grab his head, my hands in his hair. I feel the tops of his ears, wanting to kiss them, too. Wanting to kiss every part of him and claim him as my own.

He leans up on me, his elbows by my head, and stares down at me, his hair dripping onto my face. I can feel his hardness against my bikini bottoms.

He strokes my face.

‘Sophie,’ he says. ‘Oh, Sophie.’

He’s never said my name before and it’s that, more than anything, that makes me realize in a sudden rush that this is as real for him as it is for me. That this isn’t in my head or just a fantasy.

‘At last. You said my name,’ I murmur. Then I kiss him, deliciously, deeply and with absolute abandon.

And then we’re both in a frenzy.

He moves down, gasping as he rips off my bikini top and sucks my nipple, and I’m lost. It’s so erotic, like he’s ignited a touchpaper and I’m burning up. I claw my hands into his hair, desperate to feel him. He kisses down my wet navel, pulling down my bikini pants in one easy move, and then his tongue is upon me, lapping at me, like he can’t get enough of me. I lie back, my eyes flickering, watching the blue, blue sky, as waves of pleasure crash over me. I nearly come as I feel his fingers inside me. He knows exactly where to press, exactly where to stroke. I feel his thumb trace up the inside of my thigh, just like he did when he massaged me.

I don’t want to come yet. I tear myself away, pushing his shoulders. He smiles up at me between my legs, then kneels up. I kiss him again, tasting myself on him, then slide my hand confidently inside his shorts and grip his thick girth. He feels so hot and smooth and gorgeous.

I take my hand out and undo the tie on his shorts and push them down, staring as his proud cock stands to attention against his flat, tanned stomach. It’s even more beautiful than I’d imagined. Typical of Edward to have a model-perfect cock, I think, as I grip it tightly and lean forward, starting at the salty base and staring up into his eyes, as I flick my tongue up his length. He stares at me, his breathing a ragged hiss as I reach his tip and flip my tongue over the smooth, wet, delicious pinkness. It honestly feels like the most glorious thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.

I plunge my mouth over him, taking his shaft deep in my mouth, letting him fill me as far as I can. He leans forward, splaying my buttocks. I feel sun shining on me as he reaches for me. I’m dripping, desperate.

I slide back and forth, feeling his hot cock straining, then he gasps and pulls away. He pushes my shoulder gently and I lie back, waiting for him. He leans down on me slowly and, as if it was always meant to be there, his cock is right at my opening. He brushes the hair out of my face and stares into my eyes as he pushes inside me. All I can see is his face, his huge, beautiful eyes and, behind him, the blue sky. It’s as if every sense I have is fizzing. I gasp, reaching for him, holding his face and kissing him – snogging him – like it’s the last snog of all time. I wrap my legs around him, pushing my heels into his buttocks, feeling him fill me up completely. It feels like every part of me is fusing with him. And I want him. All of him. Every last part.

He kneels up, still inside me, and smiles. Lifting one of my legs, he takes my foot and sucks my big toe, his eyes never leaving contact with mine. I can feel his balls against me, his cock right inside me, but the toe thing – that’s all new. It’s a whole other dimension.

‘You are so goddamned gorgeous,’ he says, as he runs his tongue in between my toes. His thumb presses into a point on the bottom of my foot that sends my pelvis involuntarily shooting up towards him. He smiles, knowledgeably. Then it’s the turn of the other foot and I’m in raptures. I can hardly breathe.

‘Not yet,’ he whispers, gently lowering my foot.

He pulls out of me. His cock glistens in the sunlight. He stands and, for a moment, he’s like a mirage. Like some kind of sea god, holding his hand down to me. I feel the sea, the sun, the glittering heat of it all blinding me.

I wonder where we’re going, but wherever it is, Edward changes his mind, as if overcome with desire. He turns me round and grabs me, and I hang onto the metal rail at the side of the boat. I can see our reflections in the water as he bends his knees and then enters me from behind. His head is next to mine, his hands reaching around to cup and fondle my breasts. I think I might topple over, the boat gently swaying beneath us, but he’s got me. I reach up behind me, stroking his hair, looking at our faces side-by-side in the watery reflection. I wriggle backwards onto him, wanting him, wanting him to fill me up. I gasp, lifted off my feet as he thrusts into me. Then one hand stays on my nipple, squeezing tightly, just as I like, as the other reaches down. I feel him rub his fingertips against my clitoris. I grab the back of his head, crying out as he speeds up and we both come.

57

Afterwards, an hour or more afterwards, when we’re finally burnt out, I sigh as I look at the sky. As I lie naked in the sun in Edward’s arms on the soft cushion of the cockpit, he traces the outline of my shoulder with his finger and stares at me as if I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. I feel his eyelashes whisper against my cheek.

I stare at his nakedness, tracing my fingertip down the contours of his stomach, and look at the smooth skin of his now-soft cock, loving that I now know it. Loving that, after our frenzied first fuck, our second was so sensual. How we both watched, both trembling as I knelt over him and his shaft entered me, the base of it straining, my lips folding around it. How I felt his tight balls against my buttocks. How he sat up with an agonizingly pleasurable sigh and buried his face between my breasts, before kissing me and biting my nipples gently until I cried out. How I clasped my hands around his neck and rocked back on him.

It’s been such a revelation, but I’ve discovered something so fundamental about Edward. Because now that I’ve shared my body with him, he makes sense as a person. That undercurrent of sexuality I’ve been feeling at the house is real. Because he exudes it from every pore, and I’ve seen how alive he becomes when he’s making love, like every single part of his attention, his skill, his desire is focused. As if he, as a person, has been designed for lovemaking, and everything else that he does is a mere distraction.

It’s so vivid in my mind that I still feel its aftershock, as I lie here naked in stillness, feeling like a goddess. I’m exhausted and spent, my mouth still sore from our non-stop kissing, but as the boat rocks gently on the waves I’m filled with a kind of peace I’ve never felt. I feel physically, emotionally and spiritually connected to him in a deeply profound way and I know that he feels it, too.

We’re silent for ages and then he takes a breath in and slowly exhales. ‘Oh, Sophie,’ he mutters.

‘I’m sorry,’ I tell him, but my voice isn’t sorry. I smile at him, tracing the line of his delicious lips. ‘I started it. I couldn’t help myself—’

He silences me with a kiss. ‘It’s not your fault,’ he whispers. ‘Do you think I haven’t wanted you from the first second I saw you dancing across the room?’

‘You have?’

‘Oh my God, you’ve been driving me crazy, and then the sauna . . .’

I laugh. ‘You knew? You knew what you were doing to me?’

‘Sophie,’ he says, like I’m being ridiculous. Like there’s no need any longer for pretence.

‘I was desperate for you to touch me.’

‘I went as far as I could go. If you’d only turned round, you would have seen how ready I was for you.’

And I see now that he’s been waiting for me. Waiting for me to make the first move. That this always had to be my decision.

He kisses me as we laugh. Eventually, he pulls away.

‘Stay there,’ Edward says and quickly moves into the galley. I love watching him naked. I love the way his body is so natural and that I am seeing this amazing, intimate knowledge of him that nobody ever sees. He grins at me, his eyes sparkling as he disappears inside. ‘Don’t move,’ he says, suddenly turning back and pointing a playfully stern finger at me.

I watch the space where he’s gone, waiting for him to come back, and I resist the urge to punch the air. Because I feel like I’m triumphant. I’ve won, after all.

He does care. He does feel about me like I do about him. It wasn’t all in my head. The relief, the elation, is indescribable.

He comes back with a bottle of water, which I drink greedily. He’s got a pad and a pencil. I know Edward feels it, too, because he keeps glancing at me and smiling. A deep, satisfied smile that just makes me want him all over again.

‘I want to draw you,’ he says. ‘I’ve wanted to since I caught you dancing.’

I settle into what I imagine, and hope, is a classical pose and I stare out to sea, feeling his attention as he stands, leaning up against the wooden wall of the cockpit with the pad and pencil. I want to speak, but there are no words to describe how brazen and wanton I feel. Like I’m Eve and I’ve just eaten the apple for the first time.

I want to savour every secret second of it.

I feel the breeze tickle across my nipples, making them hard. I breathe in the smell of the sea and the pungent smell of sex emanating from my skin, and the glorious moment lingers on and on.

Edward’s forehead is furrowed in concentration as the pencil moves across the pad. He looks boyish in his intensity and, even though he’s so much older and more sophisticated than me, right now I feel the power balance is all my way. It’s a heady feeling.

When he’s busy shading, I move, but he doesn’t notice, he’s concentrating so hard. I creep forward along the padded bench on all fours, and duck underneath the drawing pad and take his cock in my fist.

‘What are you doing?’ he says, laughing.

‘If I see something unexpected, then I have to have it,’ I tease, quoting him and remembering how he was in the gallery.

Edward laughs and then sighs as I lean forward and run my tongue around the soft edges of his balls. I feel the soft skin pucker against my tongue. He’s hard now, his cock stiffening. I run my tongue up the length of it.

‘Oh God, that feels good,’ he says and I take the fat, delicious tip of him in my mouth, letting my lips caress and kiss him, like I’m snogging his cock. I make a low groan, running my tongue over the smooth, hard edge leading to his tip. He’s too delicious.

I feel the pad fall away and I look up at him.

‘What are you doing to me?’ he whispers and smiles a soft smile down at me.

‘Everything. I want to do everything with you,’ I tell him, resting him against the side of my mouth. I can see the blue sky behind his head. He has never looked more like a god.