Out of Control (23 page)

“What?” Julia's voice was so high-pitched, Rafe thought his eardrums might have sustained some damage.

“Rafe?” The man's voice sounded ragged, like he hadn't used it in a long, long time. “Rafe, is that you?”

Nodding, Rafe tried to reply, but his voice failed. He cleared his throat and found himself so close to tears that he was terrified he'd shame himself. Clenching a fist, he bore down on his feelings and breathed in and out slowly until his throat stood a chance of working.

Finally he could answer. “Yeah, it's me. It's me—Rafe.”

“What are you doing down here? You never come down here.”

“Today I'm glad I came.”

“Me too. Can you help me find my way home?”

That question made Rafe realize he was dealing with a man with only a slim grasp on reality. “I'd be glad to help you find your way home.”

Julia sank claws into Rafe's forearm. “What are you saying?”

“Thanks. I keep getting lost.” The man's voice sounded hollow and forlorn as it echoed off the tunnel walls. “I'm so tired of being lost.”

“Well, you're not lost anymore. Welcome home, Seth.”

Seth scampered along the edge of the pit as if he'd done it a thousand times. Rafe's stomach twisted to think the floor would crumble, and he opened his mouth to order Seth to stop. But Seth was already across, and he threw himself into Rafe's arms.

Julia shrieked and stumbled and fell on her backside. Rafe needed to pick her up, but he couldn't let go of Seth. Not when he had just taken hold of him after so many years.

Seth smelled like a thousand gallons of stale sweat soaked in unwashed clothes that'd been stored in a dung heap. Rafe had a fight on his hands to force himself to hang on to his filthy little brother. Then he realized anew the miracle of Seth coming home and it wasn't so hard at all.

Rafe was holding on to skin and bones. Seth didn't feel weak, though. He had a grip like an Apache warrior minus the tomahawk. Rafe immediately began making a mental list.

He needed to fatten Seth up.

Dunk him in the creek with a big bar of soap.

Cut his hair and get him shaved.

Get him some new clothes.

Hopefully while Rafe was doing all that, Seth would calm down enough to make a little sense.

Then Rafe thought of something else. “Ethan is outside the tunnel. Come out and say hello to him.”

“Ethan? Ethan's here?” Seth lifted his head. Rafe felt like he was face-to-face with a bear. Seth was so furry and such a mess, it was a wonder Rafe had recognized him. Seth swung his shaggy head to look at Julia, still on the ground. Rafe hadn't gotten around to helping her up yet.

Julia squeaked, and Rafe turned to see her sliding away, up the tunnel, on her backside. She was terrified of Seth, and who could blame her? Seth had to be the one who'd scared her so badly that day and left her stranded in the cavern.

Rafe remembered Seth's wild blue eyes. The color was hard to make out in the torch-lit cave, but the wild was there for sure. “Yeah, he's back to stay. I've bought this . . .” Then Rafe realized about five things that changed his list considerably.

To keep Seth around, Rafe was going to have to take him home to the Kincaid Ranch.

And Seth needed Rafe there to take care of him.

Which meant Rafe wasn't going to be able to live in this caldron.

Judging from the horror in Julia's eyes, he wasn't going to be able to claim her and hold her close day and night.

Giving up living with Ethan had come hard, but Ethan was thinking clearly and he'd live nearby and could ride over and visit anytime. But Rafe saw clear as day that Seth needed help. He needed both of his brothers to take care of him, but especially Rafe. And it wouldn't be the work of a few days to help him. It might well be the work of a lifetime.

Which meant, considering Seth might well be dangerous, Rafe wasn't going to be able to take on responsibility for anyone else until Seth got his senses back—which might never happen.

He had to choose between his brother and Julia. And either choice broke his heart. This was exactly why a man wasn't supposed to let his heart warm to anyone.

Rafe decided to drag Seth out to see Ethan and see if daylight made his thoughts any clearer.

As they walked out, Rafe realized it was pitch-dark the whole way. “When did you put the torches out, Seth?”

Seth was busy scratching his belly and didn't answer.

Ethan saw movement at the cave mouth, took one second to look and went for his gun.

“Stop.” Rafe appeared behind a walking grizzly. With pants on. The grizzly not Rafe. Well, Rafe had pants on, too.

“It's Seth.” Rafe's hand appeared in front of . . . Seth?

His brother Seth?

Ethan dropped his gun back in his holster, and with his eyes riveted on the bear that was eating his little brother, he approached until he could see the eyes. The reckless, wild blue eyes—just like Pa's.

“Seth?” Ethan hesitated because they weren't a hugging family. Then he remembered how Rafe had grabbed him when he'd first come home and how good it felt. He launched himself at Seth, and Seth grabbed on just as tight. When the smell hit him, Ethan's arms went slack.

Then he met Rafe's eyes over Seth's shoulder and saw so much love and concern and determination that Ethan stayed hanging on. Finally he thumped Seth hard on the back and withdrew enough to look him in the eye. “Seth, it's you. I've missed you, boy.”

Seth smiled. Green teeth shone through that wild man beard and hair. The boy needed a bath, a shave, a haircut, and a whole lot of other stuff.

“Ethan.” Seth's eyes met his, then wavered and looked past Ethan to the canyon. “Where's the house?”

“We're going to build one.” Ethan eased around so he stood looking at the valley with Seth. He slid an arm around shockingly bony shoulders. “Rafe is going to—”

“He means
our
house, the Kincaid house, Ethan. Seth is lost. We're going to help him get home.”

Ethan turned to look over his shoulder at Rafe. Rafe came up beside them, Rafe on Seth's left, Ethan on Seth's right. The three of them. Brothers. Together again after far too long.

Then Ethan looked at Audra. Her mouth was hanging open as she looked in horror at the amazingly messy man Rafe and Ethan surrounded.

Ethan waited until she looked at him, and he gave a tiny shrug, hoping she'd hold off on screaming until she understood a little of what was going on.

Ethan wouldn't mind understanding, either. But he could clear up some of it. “Audra, I'd like you to meet my brother Seth.”

That didn't seem to help much. She still couldn't close her mouth.

“He's been gone from home a long time.” Ethan looked at Seth again. Seth's shirt was torn, the collar completely ripped away and the shirt hung nearly in ribbons. Ethan saw through the shirt, and the tattered woolen undershirt beneath it to the ugly scars.

The scars. Ethan's fault. Every one of those scars was Ethan's fault.

Seth's back was a mass of gnarled skin. Most of one arm. The side of his neck. Seth's hair had caught fire, and twisted lumps of skin showed through if Seth's hair was ever cut short.

Ethan remembered it all. He remembered burning his little brother. He remembered being frozen and useless after he'd dropped his lantern on Seth. Ethan hated the cavern almost as much as he hated himself. He'd never gone back again after that day he'd burned Seth so badly.

Today he'd entered this cave, only a few dozen yards deep and with at least dim light the whole time. And he'd hated every minute of it.

And Seth . . . here he was. His eyes as wild as a rabid wolverine. His smell far worse. Lost only a few miles from home. And living in a cave. The same cave that nearly killed him.

All Ethan could think was
I should have never come home
.

“Seth, would you like something to eat?” Rafe's question pulled Ethan out of his dark thoughts.

Food, of course. Ethan had held Seth in his arms. He was a walking skeleton. Rafe was the smart one. The one who did the thinking and the doing. He would be practical and take charge while Ethan stood around feeling sorry for himself.

“Sure.” Seth turned quickly—too quickly. “I'm real hungry.”

Ethan let him go and went back to being the useless brother.

Rafe drew Seth toward the bag of supplies and eased him down onto the ground. Way too close to Audra and Maggie. Audra gave Ethan a helpless look, and Ethan had to fight the urge to drag Seth away, downwind.

Rafe dropped to his knees and pulled beef jerky out of his bag.

Audra eased away from Seth, trying to be sneaky but putting inches, then feet between her and the smell.

“Ethan, start a fire.” Rafe's voice cracked like a bullwhip. He was in full control now. Full command. “We brought supplies for a meal; let's get it started. Julia, get coffee on. Use the water in the canteens. Seth, let's go refill the canteens and get you washed up a little before we eat. Take this with you.” Rafe handed him the jerky.

Seth wiped his hands on his pants as if his palms were soaking wet, then sat up straight, focused on the jerky. The little brother who'd always gotten a lot of orders. Most of which he defied. This time, probably part confusion, part hunger, he grabbed the food.

Julia came up to stand beside Ethan, her arms crossed. The two of them, side by side, standing over nervous Audra, confused Seth, and tyrannical Rafe. She hadn't been around Rafe long enough to know that when he used his bullwhip voice, a person needed to just obey and obey quick. Ethan turned to warn her.

“Hold it right there, Rafe Kincaid.”

Too late.

Seth set to gnawing and watching Julia at the same time, fear in his eyes.

Ethan felt the need to protect his little brother, but then he sort of understood how Julia felt.

“What?” Rafe barely spared her a glance over his shoulder before he went back to getting the supplies in order. “We need to get Seth fed. He's hungry.”

The tough meat was quickly vanishing down Seth's gullet, and Rafe had more ready, along with a couple of biscuits. Seth was probably going to choke if someone didn't get him a drink of water real soon.

Rafe lifted a canteen before Ethan could even move.

“I have some concerns about this man you
claim
is your brother.”

“
Claim?
” Rafe finally gave Julia his full attention.

Watching her defy Rafe was a pure pleasure even if she was a little mean-hearted about Seth. Ethan didn't even try to keep the smile off his face.

“He left me in that cavern.” Cranky Julia wasn't jumping in to take care of Seth. That seemed unkind. The kid obviously needed help. Ethan had noticed before that she had a bossy streak. But being left in the cavern, well, honestly, that'd bring out the cranky in a woman.

Seth quit chewing and sat up straight. “I what?”

“He what?” Audra scooted farther away from Seth.

Every drop of amusement drained away, and Ethan crossed his arms and glared at Julia. “Seth wouldn't do that.”

After what they'd all gone through in that cavern, no Kincaid would ever leave a person stranded down in that pit.

“I . . . I wouldn't do that.” Seth looked past Julia at the cave entrance. Ethan didn't like the uncertainty he saw in Seth's eyes.

“Now, Julia.” Rafe sounded like a real careful man. “You didn't see the man who scared you.”

“Scared me?” Julia's voice climbed to a near screech. “You're saying now he just
scared
me? He left me down there to
die
.”

“To die? This man did that?” Audra turned on Seth, and even with her round belly and her arms full with a baby, she looked fierce.

Julia was too busy cutting into Seth's hide with her razor-sharp words to answer Audra. “It's only the wildest chance that you came along and heard me screaming.”

“You were screaming, Julia?” Audra's eyes filled with tears. “You said Rafe found you, but you never said y-you might have d-died.”

Ethan hated when women cried. It surprised him, the urge to go comfort the poor, leaky little female.

“You never said you were screaming . . .” Audra's voice broke.

Ethan jerked a kerchief out of his pocket and abandoned his stance by Julia since she was saying awful things about his brother. He handed the cloth to Audra. A man couldn't hardly keep a dry kerchief with all these weepy women around.

“I'm so sorry you went through something so awful.” Audra pressed the handkerchief to her lips. Maybe it meant she was going to quit talking, because she was talking herself into tears, and Ethan was sure hoping his kerchief had the power to stop that.

“I'd never leave someone in that cavern.” Seth took another bite of jerky, and though he kept staring at Julia—whether distracted by the food or just sure the issue was settled—went back to chewing as if she had never suggested that he left her to die.

Or maybe he was starving.

Ethan couldn't tell which.

Audra blew her nose, mopped her eyes, then turned back to aim a furious gaze at Seth.

“Seth's been through a lot.” Rafe thrust the canteen toward Seth, who was riveted on Julia. Rafe shook Seth's shoulder hard, and Seth noticed the water and grabbed it to drink deeply.

“You can't blame him for anything if he's not thinking clearly.”

Seth quit chewing and looked at Rafe. “You mean . . . you think I did it? Left her down there?” He sounded genuinely curious. Like if Rafe said it, then it must be true.

“No, we don't think you did it, Seth.” Ethan knew even if no one else did. Even if Rafe had some doubts. Even if Seth wasn't so sure. That was a low no Kincaid brother would ever stoop to.

“Maybe my friend did it.”

“Friend?” Ethan turned to his brother and saw everyone else pivot to look at him too.

“What friend?” Rafe asked.

“There's someone else in that cave?” Julia took a step toward Seth, as if she intended to shake the truth out of him.

“Uh . . .” Seth quit chewing. “I . . . yes. I think, yes. I had a friend. I came here with a friend. He was supposed to help me get home.”

“Who?” Ethan wasn't sure if Seth was making up the friend or not. He sounded anything but sure of himself.

“His name was . . . was . . . horse. Where's my horse?” Seth took another bite of beef jerky.

“His name was Where's My Horse?” Ethan asked. He thought Julia might attack Seth with her bare hands.

“It was?” Seth quit chewing to look at Ethan. “Sounds like an Indian.”

Julia definitely coiled her muscles to pounce. “Was there someone in there or not?”

“Probably . . . my friend is still in there.” Seth said it like it was a complete lie.

“Look,” Rafe said, his voice cutting through Audra's tears, Julia's anger, Seth's confusion. “This is my brother.”

“You used to have a lot of made-up friends when you were a kid, Seth.” Ethan remembered too many of them; they were to blame for most of the scrapes Seth got into. And for the first time, Ethan wondered if maybe Seth really had left Julia down there. He hated the idea, but who could be sure? “Is this friend real or not?”

“He must've stolen my horse.” Seth looked around the valley. “Can we go home now? I miss Mom.”

Who'd been dead for nearly ten years. Ethan swallowed hard and exchanged a look with Rafe.

Rafe's jaw went rigid, his eyes displaying cold control. He turned to Julia. “I don't know who bothered you in that cavern, but—”

“I wasn't
bothered
in that cave. I was left to die.” Julia's voice went up to a near shout.

“Maybe not. If Seth knew there was a way out—as he clearly did, since he came out that entrance and lived near it—he might've moved your rope with no notion he was stranding you.”

“Now you're making excuses for him?” Julia jammed her fists on her hips. Her hair seemed to almost stand on end with temper, though the wind might've been involved.

“This is my brother, Jules. He needs us to help him. He needs food and a bath and a haircut and new clothes. He needs all of that
more
than you need answers right now.”

“But is someone else in that cave or not, Rafe? I think we need to know
that
right now.”

“No, we'll talk about things later. I didn't see any sign of anyone else in the place he was sleeping. No second bedroll. And Seth was always one for . . . making up . . .”

“You mean lying about . . . ” Julia said.

“ . . . uh . . . friends when he was a kid.” Rafe shot Seth a worried glance. The worry turned to anger. “He might be thinking more clearly once he's had a good meal, so do you
mind
fixing dinner now? If you do, say so and I'll get a stew on
without your help
.”

Rafe had a knack for giving orders, and he had a knack for slashing a person with his words if they didn't obey. He'd've made a great general in the Civil War. But this was Julia. This was the woman he'd said he was going to marry. A bossy woman, who had her own way with a well-given order.

The air practically crackled between them as Rafe rose from where he crouched beside Seth. Ethan held his breath while he waited to see how well Julia would like the scathing tone of command from a man whom she was planning to spend the rest of her life with.