Out of Control (Losing Control Series Book 2) (7 page)

We sipped but kept our eyes locked on each other.

“Oh, I love this song,” she said as Tesla started “
What You Give.”

“Me too.” I picked her up off the counter. “Dance with me.”

We danced around the kitchen and made out. Every time we kissed it was as good as the first time. This was how I wanted every day to be. Dancing around the kitchen with Gia while making dinner, knowing I would get to hold her at the end of the night while she slept beside me. When the song ended, I picked her up, set her back on the counter, and handed her wine back to her.

I continued cooking and would pop stuff into Gia’s mouth every once in a while. We talked about music and food and our friends. I felt completely content.

“You’re the sexiest, sweetest man I’ve ever met,” Gia said. It filled me up even more.

I walked over and kissed her. “If that’s true then we have to set up our next date!” I was very excited.

“I can’t believe you!” she said, laughing. “You’re a madman about this setting up the next date thing.” She rolled her eyes at me. She was right.
What was wrong with me?
It was like I was addicted to her, and even though I had her right here with me, I was worried about being away from her.

“Sorry. We can wait until tomorrow and make a plan,” I told her and went back to my cooking.

“Come here.” Gia looked sorry. I went to her, of course, and she wrapped those legs around me and kissed me softly. “You don’t have to worry about that, Ethan. I like to live in the moment. I don’t make a lot of future plans, so don’t take it personally. Just live in the moment with me whenever we’re together.”

“Okay, I can do that for you.” I would do anything for her. Then I lifted her up and off the counter. “Let’s eat.”

We sat at the table, talking and laughing while we ate. We drank more wine and listened to the music while we cleaned up the dishes. We went outside and had a cigarette and I wanted time to stand still. I didn’t want to go back to being here alone with only memories and fantasies about Hotness. But I was going to try not to think about that because I had to live in the moment as I told her I would.

Chapter 11

Gia

When we came back into the house Ethan got a phone call, so I got comfy on the couch. I grabbed two pillows off his bed and put one on each end. I laid down and stared up at the ceiling. I was feeling relaxed from the food and the wine. I thought about everything that had happened since I left work on Friday. It had been a roller coaster ride. I liked the fact that it had brought me right here, right now and I was curious how it would play out. I was still a bit sore from the fucking Ethan had given me earlier but I smiled every time I felt it. I fantasized about what it would be like to be here with him all the time. We’d have unbelievable sex day after day. There would be lots of touching, kissing, and thoughtful gestures day after day.
What a life that would be.
If I never went back to the city then would I get to be fun-loving Gia all the time? Or would I turn back into the real Gia after the newness wore off?

“Do you want some more wine, Gia?” Ethan asked from the kitchen.

“Are you trying to get me drunk?” I asked him, grinning to myself.

“I don’t know, should I be?” Now he was looking down at me from the back of the couch, smiling.

“I don’t know,” I said shaking my head. “I get pretty horny when I get drunk.”

“You mean, hornier than you usually are?” He held up his hand, which was already holding a bottle of wine. “I gotta see this.” He filled my glass all the way to the rim.

I laughed as I sat up and took a swallow to keep it from spilling.

He sat across from me so we were facing each other leaning on the pillows. He put my feet in his lap. “Thanks for the pillow.”

“You’re welcome. Thanks for the hospitality, dinner, wine, orgasms, you know—everything.” I laughed and winked at him.

He winked back and then turned serious. “You’re welcome, Gia. I love having you here and I wish you could stay longer. I’d give you as much food, drink, and orgasms as you wanted.” He smiled at that last part. It gave me butterflies.

“I’ll bet you would.” I crawled on top of him so I could give him a kiss.

***

Ethan

She tasted and smelled amazing and I was disappointed when she sat back in her spot. “How’d you get so good at that, anyway?” she asked.

“At what?” I said, hoping she wasn’t going where I thought she might be.

“Giving orgasms.” Yep, she was going there.

I had to laugh. I asked her if she really wanted to talk about past sexual relationships, because even though I’d been wondering about hers, I sure didn’t want to tell her about mine.

“Why not?” she said. “It won’t take me long. Here, I’ll go first.” Cool, I thought, and then I’ll know how far to go and what we’re talking about exactly. “I lost my virginity to a boy I went to senior prom with.”
Okay, that sounds about right
. “Then I had sex with Lex for thirteen years, and here I am. Done. Now you go.”

I almost choked.
That was it? She’d only had sex with two people in her whole life? Now I was supposed to tell her that I didn’t know how many partners I’d had and couldn’t remember their names even if I wanted to, which I didn’t. It wasn’t something I was proud of.
Here goes.
“I lost my virginity when I was a junior in high school with my girlfriend, Sara, who I’d been dating for six months.”
That didn’t sound too bad. At least I knew her name and had been with her for a reasonable amount of time.
“I’ve had sex with a lot of women since then. Done.”
Okay, that was easy.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” she said. “I was just curious how you know so much about my body and how to make me feel the way you do.” I could see why she was asking and I felt better that she didn’t want numbers, names, or details.

“I was in a relationship with an older woman when I was in my twenties. It lasted for about a year and she taught me a lot about how to please a woman. Other than that, the women I’ve slept with haven’t been personal relationships and I certainly haven’t touched them the way that I’ve touched you.” That was true and I realized how sad it was as I’d said it. The fact that I hadn’t had a personal relationship with a woman for all those years yet I had sex with a lot of them didn’t make me feel very good about myself.

“I feel very lucky then,” Gia said as she sat up and took my hand. It made me feel better but not near as good as what she said next. “Ethan, I don’t care about the other women and I get the feeling you’ve been just as lonely as I have. Just because we weren’t alone, it didn’t mean we weren’t lonely, right?”
Yes, she was exactly right.
“Look how long I was married to Lex, how many times I had sex with him.” I didn’t like the thought of that. “But it was passionless.” That made me feel even worse for her. “Just like you with the other women. We’ve both been living it, just in different ways.”
God, she was right.
We both realized it and we smiled at each other.

“You’re right, Gia. I had it in my head all those years seeing you up here, full of life and shining like the brightest star, that you were happily married to your best friend and all the other stuff us single people associate with being married. I would’ve never guessed you were going through difficulties or feeling lonely.”

“This place has always been an escape for me from my real life,” she said. “When I came here I’d forget about all the stuff going on at home and with Lex. I’d turn into the Gia who was alive and fun-loving, especially when I came with my girlfriends and Lex stayed home. I never cheated on him or anything, I wasn’t looking for that. I was just looking for some down time from reality.” That made me really happy. I was giving her a place where she could be herself and have some fun.

“What about now?” I asked her. “Now that the stuff with Lex is over, I mean. How do you feel about coming up here now? Are you still escaping from something?” I had to know.

“Um, I don’t know,” she said.
Oh no, don’t close up on me now, Hotness.

I leaned toward her. “Gia, I would never judge you. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through and I don’t want to push you away by asking you to tell me, so I’m not going to. I need you to know, however, that you can tell me anything. I’ll be understanding and honest with you. Please don’t hold back because you’re afraid. I never want you to be afraid when you’re with me. I want
this
to be your new real life.”
There, I said it. And I meant it.

She was looking down at her hands and I heard her barely say, “Someday.”

My heart skipped. “Someday what?” I said very quietly, hoping she would answer.

She was looking into my eyes now. “I would love for this to be my reality, someday.” She quickly wiped a tear from her cheek.

My heart filled up. I whispered again, “I would love that too, Gia.” I pulled her to me and held her as she laid her head against my chest. I wanted to protect her and shield her from anything and everything that could possibly hurt her. She’d been through enough and it was time for her to live. I wanted to be the one to live with her. I wanted to watch the sun go down with her. I wanted to remember this day forever.

“Are you tired?” I asked.

“Just relaxing. Your heartbeat is very soothing. Why, what did you have in mind?”

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

“Sure.”

***

Gia

Ethan took me backstage and I was like a kid running around checking everything out. I’d always wanted to know what it was like behind the scenes. Ethan was getting a kick out of watching me, especially when I picked up the microphone and pretended I was announcing one of my favorites.

“Give it up for the amazingly talented, ultra sexy, blow your mind rocker,
Pat Benatar
!” I yelled and then made noise like the crowd cheering as I jumped up a couple steps and onto the stage and started belting out “All Fired Up.”

“
Livin’ with my eyes closed, goin’ day to day, I never knew the difference, I never cared either way, lookin’ for a reason, searchin’ for a sign, reachin’ out with both hands, gotta feel the kick inside.
” And as I said ‘kick inside,’ I kicked, of course.

Ethan was cracking up but clapping and cheering at the same time.

I just kept going. “
Now I believe there comes a time, when everything just falls in line, we live and learn from our mistakes, the deepest cuts are healed by faith.
” And I kept repeating just like she does as I strutted toward him and gave him a little lap dance.

I jumped up and got serious as I finished and then took a bow. He gave me a standing ovation, which I thought was very generous being as I knew my singing sucked.

“Thank you! Good night!” I said as I jumped back down the steps and put the microphone back.

“Pat would be proud,” Ethan said, still laughing. He grabbed me and hugged me tightly. “You never cease to amaze me, Gia. I love how you make me laugh.”

“Just wait until you see me do “Shadows of the Night
,
” you’ll want to hire me immediately!” I acted like I was gonna grab the microphone again. “No, I think I’ll make you wait for that one.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that!” He grabbed my hand. “C’mon, we have more to see before it gets dark.”

We walked and talked for about an hour before we reached the bottom of the VIP platform.

“Wanna race?” I said as I started running up the steps.

“You got a head start!” Ethan hollered but I knew he let me win.

I didn’t care, I threw my hands up in the air and jumped up and down anyway. It felt so nice to be able to be silly and carefree around him, and he ate it up like crazy.

He grabbed us a couple of stools but when he sat on his I opted for his lap instead. He seemed to like that. He had his arms around me as we watched the sun go down. It was even more beautiful than the other morning when we had watched it come up together. This time it had more meaning. We knew each other better and there were some real feelings involved. Well, I had some anyway, and although it felt really nice, it scared the hell out of me at the same time.

“Thank you, Ethan. That was really beautiful.” I stepped off the stool and turned around to face him.

“You’re welcome, Gia,” he said, then we made out for like ten minutes.

We headed back to his place, holding hands, flirting, and laughing. When we got there an elderly couple was just walking up to Ethan’s door. They saw us and they both lit up with smiles. I smiled back at them and Ethan introduced us. It was Rose his accountant, and her husband Don, who also worked for Ethan.

“Now I know why you wanted to put off the meeting until tomorrow night,” Rose said. He almost blushed.

“If you have things to do, Ethan…” I started but Rose interrupted me.

“No, dear, it’s nothing that can’t wait. I just had to give Ethan a hard time.” She and Don were both still smiling at Ethan. I think they were happy I was there and that felt nice. I could tell they cared a great deal about him. They were looking at him the way parents look at their children when they’re proud of them.

“Well, we won’t keep you kids,” Don said. “We were just checking some things out and thought we’d say hi to you on our way by.”

“Do you want to come in for tea or wine or something?” Ethan asked them.

“No, but thank you, dear. We’ll see you tomorrow. Nice to meet you, Gia,” Rose said.

“Hope to see you again real soon,” Don said to me and they both shook my hand again.

“Nice to meet you both. Have a good night,” I told them and they walked off, holding hands. How sweet!

Ethan told me about them and how they’d known his gramps so long ago. He said they treated him like the son they’d never had and I could see that just from the short time they were here. I really liked them and the way they cared for Ethan.

***

I dug through my bag and took out Ethan’s shirt and my toothbrush then went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. While I was brushing my teeth I noticed Ethan in the doorway behind me, watching me. He had his arms crossed and was leaning against the door frame. I smiled at him in the mirror and he smiled back, but it was sort of a sad smile.

“I don’t want this night to end,” he said.

I rinsed out my mouth and went to him. “Live in the moment with me, remember?” I put my arms around his waist and looked up into his eyes. “How can we fully enjoy tonight if we’re worrying about tomorrow?”

“You’re right, sorry.” He kissed me softly. I wanted him again but I was still sore and I didn’t know if it would be a good idea. The kissing became more intense and I was getting wet and wanting.

“Ethan,” I whispered. “I want you, but I’m a little sore.”