Out of Focus (6 page)

“Jeremy.” Kasey took the candy and cracked a slight smile. “He’s such a sweetheart.”

“Yeah. He’s taking her home. The cranky old bat. I can’t believe he hasn’t quit after all these years.”

Kasey shrugged. “He’s used to her moods. He earns every penny he makes, that’s for sure.”

A few hours later, the house finally began to empty.

Riley busied herself in the kitchen with a couple of neighbors. They must have opened and closed the freezer door twenty times as they stored away the food. So much food.

* * * *

The week after the funeral, the police in Southampton County contacted Kasey about the tape from Penny’s Candy and Soda Shoppe. Finally, they had dated proof positive that Jake had been with Nick just moments before the crash.

The news made for a restless night for Kasey, but a
t least maybe now the police would keep looking for Jake. She’d been worried that they might give up.
The combination of renewed hope and fear tugged at her. Even her dreams taunted her, twisting joyful reunions with tragic replays of the funeral. And all of the dreams ended in the woods. She opened her eyes to the sun streaming through a sliver of an opening between the curtains.
Were the dreams a sign? Was there something in the woods that would help her find Jake?
She’d heard of stranger ways of solving cases.

Dutch laid next to the bed. Kasey swung her feet around to the edge and sat up. She rubbed her feet on his soft coat. “Quiet, isn’t it, buddy?”

She rolled her shoulders and rubbed her feet on Dutch’s back. He groaned.

“Feel good?”

No more back rubs in my future. I’ll miss your back rubs, Nick. You gave the best.

Kasey got up, put on jeans, hiking boots, and one of Nick’s rodeo t-shirts. In a moment of clarity, she’d decided to go back to the crash site and see if anything came to her that might help her find Jake. Crazier things happened all the time—she had nothing to lose.

She went downstairs and left a note on the counter in case Riley came by.

An hour and a half later, Kasey pulled her car off on the soft shoulder near the accident site. She put her business card on the dash of her car in hopes it would be enough to keep anyone from towing it while she explored.

She stepped over the shiny new guardrail and followed the path of scarred trees that marked the path Nick’s truck had taken down the embankment. The incline was steeper than it looked. She sidestepped her way down to the water’s edge. Debris marked the high water line left from the storm.

If Jake had somehow climbed ashore, where would he have headed?

She squatted.
From this level, Jake’s level, she couldn’t see the road.

He could’ve made it to shore if the water had been as low as it was today
. She stepped out on the rocks. They were slick, but plenty big to walk on.

She stood in the center of the river on the large rock where Nick’s truck had once lain crooked, its interior sucking up water like a sponge.

I probably cried enough tears last week to crest this river.

To her left was a large clearing. She walked back across the rocky waterway, climbed the sloping terrain, and headed to that area.

She snapped off a twig from a tree and poked at the brush in front of her as she walked. No sense stepping on a snoozing snake. “Where are you, Jake? Help me find you.”

I’m not crazy.

After three hours of wandering the woods, she knew, crazy or not, that she couldn’t stay out much longer. Mosquitoes had begun nibbling on her as if she was a buffet. She swatted at one buzzing around her head.

She hiked toward the highway noise to her car. Her legs ached and so did her heart.

The next morning, Jeremy stopped by. It was Wednesday—the day Grem got her hair done each week. He’d been stopping by every Wednesday since the accident. Kasey wasn’t sure if it was Grem’s idea or his, but she’d started to appreciate his visits.

Still in her nightshirt, Kasey opened the door. Dots of pink calamine lotion highlighted her itchy mosquito bites.

“What happened to you?” he asked.

“Promise not to laugh?”

Jeremy smiled. “Hell, no. If you’re going to make me promise, it has to be funny.” He followed her into the living room.

“Fine. I went back to the accident site to see if I could get a connection or idea about where I might find Jake.”

He sat down in the chair across from her. “I wouldn’t laugh about that. I know how you’re hurting. I wish I could fix everything for you right now.”

“You’re so sweet. It was stupid, I know, but it seemed like it was worth a shot. Better than sitting here wondering.”

A glazed look spread over his face.

“I’ve brought you down, too.” She sat next to him. “I’m not very good company these days.”

He patted her leg. “Don’t be silly. It’s just so hard for me to see you so sad.”

“I just wish I knew. I’ve memorized every angle of the terrain near the accident, and I’m no closer to finding Jake. I’m running out of ideas. And to make matters worse, the police don’t seem to have the same sense of urgency they had before.” Tears slid to her chin. She swept them away with her sleeve. “I know he’s alive. I know in here.” She tapped her heart. “But I need a glimmer of hope that I’ll find him.”

“I’m so sorry.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and sat silent for a moment. Then he lifted his head and looked her square in the eye. “I have an idea, but I’m not sure you’re going to like it.”

Kasey’s eyes brightened. “Anything.”

He started to speak, then paused. “Well.” He cleared his throat, then scooched to the edge of his seat. “I know this gal. It’s a long shot. She does tea-leaf readings.”

She leaned back and rolled her eyes. “Oh, no. You know how I feel about that black magic. It’s just tempting bad stuff to come your way. I don’t think I could do that.”

“No. It’s not like that. Tasseography is a divine practice.”

She grimaced. “Tassy-whatever-ography doesn’t sound divine. It sounds scary.”

“Just think about it.” He shrugged. “The practice is based on meditation and stuff, so you probably need to believe and trust that it will work. You said you’d do anything.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I know, but I don’t think I’m
that
desperate. That’s just....” She ran her hands up and down her arms to chase the nervous tingle that followed the thought of tempting fate with that sort of magic.

“The offer stands. If you change your mind, let me know. I’ll set it up.”

She was hesitant to even consider it. “You’d go with me?”

“Of course. Anything.” His gaze pleaded with her.

“I’ll think about it,” Kasey said.

“You could ask if Jake’s alive. Find out for sure, one way or the other. Maybe get a lead.”

“I could ask specific questions like that?” She needed answers, but that magic stuff had always given her the heebie-jeebies. “If I only knew he was safe, it would be easier.” She slouched, then shook her head. “No, I’m not ready for that. I have an aerial photographer going up tomorrow to search the area again. He’s doing it as a favor. I’m going to photograph his plane for a print ad in exchange. Maybe something will turn up this time.”

Jeremy looked at his watch. “I’ve got to go. Your grandmother will be a real pain in the ass if I pick her up late.”

“Like she won’t be anyway?”

“Be nice. She’s not as bad as you think. She loves you.” Jeremy gave her a hug, then left.

Kasey watched him back out of the driveway. The thought of somebody predicting her future or knowing her past sent a tingle down her spine, and not in a good way. Time was slipping away though, and the longer Jake was missing, the more likely it was she’d never find him. Some said it had already been too long.

Even Riley had asked if she wanted to consider a memorial for Jake if something didn’t turn up soon.

Kasey couldn’t—wouldn’t—give up on Jake yet.

Chapter Seven

Kasey stared at the ceiling until the swirled plaster blurred, forming images—silhouettes of better times. She sprawled her leg across Nick’s side of the bed. Empty and cool.

She’d promised herself she’d get out of bed today, but that had been yesterday, and today didn’t seem as far away as tomorrow had seemed at the time she made that promise.

One month. Exactly one month today since she’d laid Nick to rest. Everyone said it would get easier with time, but how much time and how much easier?

Although the wounds were still tender, she knew in her heart she couldn’t let time keep slipping by. Nick would hate that. He’d lived life to the fullest—never wasted a minute. She hadn’t done a good job of either lately.

She sat upright on the edge of the bed and forced her feet to the ground. She held her arms out to the side to steady herself as she stood. Taking slow steps, she made her way to the bathroom and twisted the knobs on the shower.

She stepped out of her pajamas and into the shower, letting the gentle spray wash over her as she prayed for strength. She turned counter-clockwise, wishing that would rewind her life to happier times. The water began to run cool so she got out. Wrapped in a towel, she went back in the bedroom and sat at the antique dressing table. She hadn’t put on makeup since the funeral, but it was a step, even if she was faking it, toward feeling better. She brushed her hair, then picked out something to wear.

Her favorite pair of khakis hung loose on her now. She cinched the waist tight with a belt. It would have to do.

The melancholy she’d woken up with slid away, now replaced by anger. Nick had given her a wonderful life and then abandoned her.

How could you leave me? You promised you’d always be here.

Kasey went downstairs and walked outside. She looked at the beautiful property, as if through Nick and Jake’s eyes, and remembered each precious day, each moment. She wasn’t alone. Dutch wandered around with her every step of the way, like a shadow. The old dog had loved those two Rolly boys as much as she did, and his eyes seemed sadder than normal. Every time she stopped, Dutch pushed his head under her hand. He needed the connection, too.

She went back inside with a plan, with Dutch at her heels. His nails clicked on the hardwood floors like seconds ticking by on a clock.

Kasey
picked up the phone and dialed Grem to tell her she was coming by. She made the call short though, because Grem had a way of saying the wrong thing, and all she needed was an excuse to crawl back under the covers.

She wasn’t going to give herself a way out today.

* * * *

It was a beautiful day for a drive. Kasey drove with the top down on the Porsche. She usually loved the wind in her hair and breathing in the air that rushed around the car as she sped along. She’d been known to sing at the top of her lungs without a care about who might hear. No radio and no singing today, though. She was going through the motions for Nick, but her heart wasn’t in it.

She punched in the security code at the gates to her grandmother’s estate, then idled between the flowering crepe myrtles that dotted the path to the big house. When she reached the end of the driveway, she caught sight of Grem on the porch, waving at her.

Kasey waved and parked in front. The old Porsche had been Daddy’s car, his pride and joy. When she’d been little, Daddy would speed down the road with the top down and her by his side. It had cost her dearly to rebuild the old car over the years, but she felt close to Dad when the leather seats wrapped around her like a hug. She’d always been a daddy’s girl.

“It’s about time. I haven’t heard from you in weeks,” the old woman complained. “Now get your fanny over here already. The day is half gone.”

Had to give it to her for being spunky at her age.
“It’s only eight o’clock. Most people are just getting their day started.”

Grem pursed her lips with a vague hint of disapproval. “Don’t be sassing me. Just give me a hug.”

Kasey pushed her sunglasses on top of her head and hugged her grandmother.

“Let me get a good look at you.”

Kasey stepped back and posed, forcing a smile.

“Goodness dear, you look thin, and you could use a haircut.” The old woman took Kasey’s hands into hers, then rubbed her thumb over Kasey’s nails. “Would you have a look at those nails? My goodness. Are you sure you’re my granddaughter?”

“Yes, I am.” She rolled her eyes. “I haven’t had time.”

“Pshaw, you’ve just been sitting around moping. You’ve had plenty of time to take care of those little things.”

Kasey sat on the top step in front of her grandmother. “Yeah, well that’s just it. Those are little things, aren’t they? Not so important in the scheme of things.”

“Don’t dismiss the importance of taking care of yourself. Lucky for you, I had a feeling you would be in a mess. I already called Seth at home. I’ve made appointments for both of us with him and George this morning, dear.”

“Tell me you didn’t.” Kasey slumped. She like being pampered, and George and Seth were the best stylists around. But they were so full of energy, and she wasn’t up to that.

“Yes, I did. If we don’t get a move on, we’re going to be late.”

Defeated, she knew better than to argue. Grem always got her damn way. “Fine. I gather you already have Jeremy lined up to take us.”

“Of course, dear. He should be around any minute. Why don’t you put on some lipstick? You look a little pale.”

“I look fine.” She gave her grandmother a stern look. “Don’t push it, okay?” She now remembered why, when she’d lived here, she stayed in the carriage house where she could come and go without bumping into Grem on a daily basis, and why she’d hired Jeremy in the first place. Well, that and the fact that Grem had run off all the other help. Jeremy had staying power.

The older that woman got, the more she thought she had the right to do and say whatever she damn well pleased. That wasn’t always pleasant.

Jeremy pulled the Mercedes around. Kasey scooted to the edge of the step and stood, muttering under her breath, “Saved by the Benz.”

He made his way to the porch and hugged Kasey. “Glad to see you out and about. We’ve missed you. You doing okay?”

She nodded, although not too convincingly.

He gave her the don’t-lie-to-me look. “Call me. Let me know if you change your mind about the other thing we talked about.”

“You know how that freaks me out. I don’t see that happening.” She put her hand on his shoulder. “But, thanks.”

Jeremy helped Grandma Emily into the car. She wouldn’t hear of a van or special access vehicle; she’d just stay in the house forever before she’d allow someone to tote her around like that. Kasey got into the back seat and readied herself for what was to come.

The day turned out to be pleasant, even refreshing. Separated by spinning beauty shop chairs and the hum of blow dryers, there was no room for a lot of dialogue with her grandmother. Kasey was thankful for that. However, on the ride home, there was no safe barrier.

“You look like your old self now.” Grem looked proud of herself.

“It was a nice day.”

“Yes. So...are you ready to move back home yet?”

“No.”

The old woman raised her hands. A shadow of anger swept her face as she turned and looked out the window.

“What? Why would I move back? I have a home.”

Grem spun her sprayed fray of blued locks around to face Kasey. “Yes, you have a home, and it is with me. Now just come back to where you belong and live like the lady you were raised to be. I want what’s best. You’ve wasted too much time already.”

Kasey choked back a gasp. “Wasted? I cannot believe you.”

“We all make mistakes, dear.” Her grandmother clucked her tongue, then turned in her seat in a huff.

“Jeremy, pull over.” Kasey slapped the back of his seat.

“What are you doing?” Grem’s lips pinched into a tight line.

Jeremy caught Kasey’s gaze in the rear view mirror.

“Pull over right now or I’m jumping out,” Kasey said louder, her voice tight.

Her grandmother’s eyes widened. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

Kasey fumbled with the door handle. Jeremy swerved the car off to the side of the road.

“What is your problem?” the old woman shouted.

“
My
problem?” Kasey shook her head. Her hands trembled. “
My
problem? Is…is…that you are heartless.”

“Dear—”

“Don’t
dear
me. I can’t believe you. I know you didn’t care for Nick. That’s fine. You have that right. But he was
my
husband who, whether you like it or not, I loved with all my heart. I’m empty without him. Empty. And my son. My son, damn it. Do you not have a heart at all you old...errrrrrrrrr.” She pulled on the door handle again—this time it opened, and she jumped out of the car.

“It’s not like he was planned,” Grem muttered, half under her breath as Kasey slammed the door.

Kasey spun on her heel, fire in her eyes. “I heard that. I heard you. That was awful. What is making you act this way?” Kasey felt the tingle of red splotches rising on her chest.

Her grandmother rolled down the window. “Get back in this car. Have you gone crazy?”

“No.”

“You’re going to get yourself killed. You can’t just walk along the interstate.”

“Who would care?” Kasey balled her hands into fists, pumping them as she marched down the road. “Leave me alone.”

“You aren’t thinking clearly.”

Kasey stepped over to the car and leaned into the window, way in, right into her grandmother’s face. “I loved my husband. Having Jake was the best thing I ever did in my life. I don’t want to hear your voice. I can’t even think about you right now.”

Calmness fell over her grandmother’s features. “I loved Jake, too, honey. This outburst won’t bring him back.”

“He
will
be back.” Kasey slapped the side of the car. “And you don’t know anything about love.” She stepped back and screamed to Jeremy, “Drive her home. I swear, get her out of here.” She clenched her teeth so tightly that they ached.

“You don’t have to live that way anymore.”

“Why can’t you get it through your thick skull? Nick and I wanted to share those dreams with our son, and I plan to do that.” She threw her hands in the air, turned and started walking.

“Kasey!” Grem’s voice rose to a screeching level.

Jeremy idled the Benz up to Kasey. “Are you going to be okay?” he shouted across the car.

“Fine. Just go!”

He eased back on to the road.

Kasey kicked the back of the car as Jeremy drove away.

She choked back tears as she walked along the shoulder of the interstate to the nearest exit where she called a cab to take her home. Home, to the farm in Pungo.

Thank goodness, she didn’t have to wait long before the cab arrived. Kasey leaned back against the seat and closed her eyes, thankful for the silence on the long ride back. When they arrived, she paid the driver, got out, and went as far as the front porch.

All her good intentions to have a good day had backfired, but somehow she felt stronger for having tried. She loved Nick and she adored Jake. She missed them, ached for them. No one could ever take the good memories from her.