Out of Nowhere (8 page)

“Only like five million times. He said he came in three times last week to see you.”

I quickly looked away, over the railing and down at the parking lot below. A man in a baseball cap was hefting two bags of garbage into the dumpster. At least I hoped it was garbage. “Not to see me,” I said. “For coffee. He’s addicted.”

“Mm hmm,” Sydney said, watching me through narrowed eyes. “Because Jitters is so convenient for him.”

I felt my face go red. It was true. Cole had been in three more times since our little brownie chat last Saturday, and all three times he’d waited around for me to go on break. We’d have a coffee together, sometimes share a brownie or a cookie, and talk. We were getting to know each other, becoming friends, but I could tell by the way he looked at me sometimes that he wasn’t just there for the caffeine fix. I’d been even more convinced yesterday, when at the end of my break he asked me for my number. I’d given it to him, of course, because what else are you supposed to do when someone you like asks for your number? And I did like him. He was nice and funny and easy to be with. But that still didn’t mean I thought he was cute.

“We’re just friends,” I told Sydney, who shook her head and sucked hard on her cigarette.

“Lucas said he asked for your number.”

Damn that Lucas and his big gossipy mouth. “Friends call each other, you know.”

She acted like she didn’t even hear me. “Wow, you guys are slow movers. All that time to work up to a
phone number
? Jesus. It’ll be next summer before you get around to cashing in your V-card.”

He won’t be around next summer
, I thought. Which was exactly why I intended to keep things casual. I did not deal well with good-byes, and there was no point in getting involved with someone who would leave me in a year for sandy beaches and snow-free winters. Or someone who was intent on breaking his neck on a skateboard or, even worse, a motorcycle.

“Sydney, please don’t start.” It always came down to this with her. My virginity. Like it was something to be discarded as soon as possible.

She sighed, releasing a curly stream of smoke. “I don’t know how you can stand it, Riley, I really don’t. You never even think about it.”

“Sure I do,” I said, indignant. “I’m not a robot. I have biological urges.”

She squished out her cigarette and groaned. “No! No more biology! This is us, two friends talking about sex, not Human Sexuality 101.”

“Is there really a class about that?”

It was so easy to push Sydney’s buttons. She glowered at me, teeth bared. “You are hopeless.”

We sat there in silence for a minute, listening to the sirens and the squeal of trucks braking below us, then Sydney got up and went inside. She was back a few minutes later with a large mug of coffee for her and a can of Coke for me, a peace offering. That’s how it was with me and Sydney. We’d be annoyed at each other one second and then totally back to normal the next. Not like Eva, who tended to hold grudges. Or Lucas, who never knew when to quit. I liked that I could say anything to Sydney, even delicate stuff, and she’d still like me the same the next day.

“Okay,” she said, sipping her coffee. “I can respect your decision, even though I’ll never understand it. But Riley, let’s be realistic here. You think this new guy’s not gonna want to get into those skinny jeans of yours? I know men, and they all want a shot at it, at least. Cole is what, eighteen?” She peered at me over the rim of her mug. “Riley. He’s no virgin.”

“Lucas is a virgin,” I countered. As if that meant anything. The two boys could not have been more different.

“Lucas wasn’t even sure whether he liked girls or boys until a couple of years ago. Plus he has bad taste in guys. I mean, Liam Hogan? Ugh. How boring.”

Without thinking, I said, “He thinks Cole is hot.”

Sydney grinned. “Is that so? He failed to mention that little tidbit of info. Maybe if it doesn’t work out with you and Cole…”

“Um, no,” I said, thinking of the look that flashed across Cole’s face the other day when I innocently licked chocolate icing off my finger. “He definitely plays for our team.”

“I love how you’re so sure of that,” she said, laughing. “Maybe you’re really not a robot, after all.”

“If I was, I’d power myself down until Jeff leaves tonight.”

“Oh, Jeff.” Sydney tipped her head back, sighing. “Now he is hot. Oh my God, that body. I’d like to—”

I slapped my hands over my ears. “Sydney! Stop right there. You promised, remember?”

She hunched up her shoulders. “Oh right. Sorry. No lusting after Jeff out loud. I keep forgetting.”

“No silent lusting either.” I took my hands off my ears. “He’s Tristan’s dad, not to mention my mom’s boyfriend. That’s just gross.”

“He’s not
my
mom’s boyfriend,” she muttered, and I shot her a warning look. “Okay, okay. Jeff’s off-limits. I get it. He’s now officially banished from my fantasies.”

“Thanks,” I said, wishing it was that easy to banish him from my house.

* * *

The next night, Mom ventured into my room. “Riley, we need to talk.”

Oh shit. I hated those words, especially coming from my mom. The last time she’d uttered those five words in that same quiet, serious tone, accompanied by that same grim face, she was telling me she was pregnant with Tristan. Oh God, this could not be happening again. Three unexpected pregnancies? That had to be a record. I swear, if she ever tried to lecture me about birth control again I’d—

“I’m not pregnant, if that’s what you’re thinking,” she said wryly. “I practice what I preach now.”

I let out the breath I’d been holding. “What is it, then?”

She inched into my room and sat down on my bed, where I was lounging with Lucy and my English notes.

“Well,” Mom said, picking up a page from my notes and putting it down again without looking at it. “Jeff found out today that he has to leave in two weeks for another big job. He’ll be gone for a month this time. And it would really mean a lot to him—and to me—if he could spend the next two weeks here, with us. As it is now, he only gets to see Tristan a few hours a week and—”

“He’s here every weekend, Mom,” I reminded her. I knew this would happen. You give an inch, they take a mile. “You know how I feel about him living here.”

“I know, Riley, and that’s exactly why he’s only here on weekends. Because this is your house too and I try to respect your feelings.” She ran her hands over her pants, as if she were drying her sweaty palms. She was nervous, talking to me. Not that I could blame her. The last time Jeff moved in, I hadn’t exactly been welcoming. In fact, I’d purposely acted like a sullen brat.

But I was fourteen then. Surely I could be more mature now, at almost seventeen. I thought about what Eva had said on the phone the day Jeff came home, about how he wasn’t such a bad guy and that my mom deserved happiness again.

“It’s your decision,” I told her with a shrug. “You pay the bills, not me.”

“That’s another thing,” she said. “Having Jeff here will help make ends meet. He’ll chip in with the bills. Tristan’s daycare costs are going up soon, not to mention electricity and food and…”

I cut in before she got going on the water bill. “Mom. Like I said, it’s your choice. I get that he wants to spend all his time with Tristan before he leaves. And it’s just two weeks, right? Just…tell him to put the toilet seat down, okay?”

Mom smiled, more relaxed now. “You’re taking this better than I thought you would, babe. I was worried.”

“It’s not just me you have to worry about,” I said, flipping through my poetry book. “You still have to tell Grandma.”

Mom’s face went pink. “Oh. Right. Well, maybe we won’t mention it to her.”

“You’re going to
lie
to your
mother
?” I asked, making my eyes go all wide with shock. I was just teasing her. I knew very well why she didn’t want to tell her mother. The last time Jeff moved in, my grandparents stopped talking to Mom for two months. When she got pregnant with Tristan, they didn’t speak to her for almost a year. When she got pregnant with me, they kicked her out of the house. They were real old-school kind of people.

“Not lie. Just not mention it.”

“That’s a lie of omission, Mother.”

She stood up. “Oh hell. I’m too tired to think about this. Good night, hon.”

When she left, I tried to go back to my studying but I was distracted now, thinking about my grandparents. I’d never really felt connected to them. By the time they got over the shame of having a teen mom for daughter and asked to see me, I was almost eight months old. They never did take to me. It wasn’t like the relationship I had with my father’s parents, who I remained close to even after they moved to Florida when I was in fourth grade. With Mom’s parents I sensed a coolness, a detachment, as if they still blamed me for ruining my mother’s life. She’d been the good daughter, the one destined for college and success. Then I’d come along to crush everyone’s dreams. It wasn’t my fault, of course, but when I was around my grandparents I felt almost guilty, like I needed to apologize for implanting in my mother’s uterus a few years too early.

Oddly enough, they adored Tristan. They’d never had a son, so maybe they just really enjoyed having a boy in the family. Or maybe they liked Jeff more than they’d liked my father. Who knows. Tristan loved them too, so my mother couldn’t deny any of them a day together once in a while. As for me, I only spent time with them when I had to. Just like Mom.

With parents like that, no wonder she insisted on regular family bonding.

Chapter Seven

This time around, living with Jeff full-time wasn’t so bad. It helped that I was in my room most of the time, studying like mad for exams. Also, he made a valiant effort to remember to put the toilet seat down. Most importantly, though, he made Mom and Tristan happy, so I kept the backhanded comments to a minimum.

With final exams coming up, I’d had to cut my hours at work considerably. Lucas did too. Rudy understood that this was the one of the drawbacks of hiring students, but that didn’t mean he stopped calling us to cover shifts. Finally, when he called me in a panic on Sunday morning to tell me that two of his other employees had called in sick and he needed someone
now
, I decided to give in. I needed a break from math anyway.

Sunday mornings at Jitters were almost as crazy as Saturday nights. Rudy came out to man the cash whenever the line-up started snaking around the display cases, but for the most part I was on my own until Claudia arrived for her shift at one. I was so busy I didn’t even notice Cole’s presence until he was standing right in front of me at the register.

“Medium bold roast, black,” I said in lieu of hello. I spared a moment to smile though; I hadn’t seen him all week.

“Wait, I need a large today. No, an extra large. Actually, do you have a bucket back there?”

“Uh oh,” I said, turning to fill an extra large to-go cup for him. “Sounds like someone is hungover.”

“Someone is,” he agreed, accepting the coffee gratefully. “When’s your break?”

I glanced at my watch. “Ten minutes, give or take.”

“I’ll be over in that shady spot trying not to hurl.”

Hearing that, I wasn’t exactly in a hurry to join him. When I did, fifteen minutes later, it was like the ER waiting room all over again—me sitting across from a ragged-looking Cole, wondering if he was about to pass out or puke on me.

“What did you
do
last night?” I asked, giving him a once over. His hair was tied back neatly, but he was pale and looked like he hadn’t slept in days. “Raid someone’s liquor cabinet?”

“Something like that,” he replied, and then took another long sip of coffee, closing his eyes in appreciation. “Prom was last night.”

“You went to the
prom
?” For some reason, this struck me as bizarre. He just didn’t seem like the prom type. I tried to picture him in a tuxedo instead of his usual uniform of T-shirt and jeans, but I couldn’t.

“Yes, I went to the prom. Is that so shocking?”

“Well…” I said, and felt his foot bump mine under the table. “Who’d you go with?”

He gave me a knowing smile, as if he thought I was only asking because I was jealous. Which I honestly wasn’t. “This girl named Maya. She asked me back in March.”

“She asked you?” I wondered what a girl who asked out boys like Cole might look like. Curvy, I decided, with tattoos and big hair and tight leather pants. The antithesis of me.

“As friends,” Cole assured me. Like I cared who he went out with or got drunk with after prom. He could’ve been dating half the population of Oakfield High, for all I knew. “She’s not really my type,” he added.

“Oh?”

He shook his head and then tipped back his coffee, draining every last drop. His fist closed around the cup, crushing it, and he looked past me toward the garbage can. Too far. “No,” he said, his eyes back on me. “I like girls who are smart. And honest.”

“So this Maya is a dumb liar?”

He laughed. “Not exactly. She’s nice, but…I don’t know. Life’s too short to spend time with people you don’t really click with. You know?”

I looked back at him, this boy I had absolutely nothing in common with beyond an affinity for ailments and coffee. But damn it if we didn’t click together like two oppositely charged magnets. “Yeah,” I said. “I know what you mean.”

An awkward silence followed. It felt like something had been established between us in the past few minutes, though I couldn’t say what, exactly.

“I’d better get back to work,” I said, finally, when I noticed Rudy giving me pointed looks from behind the counter. “We’re short-handed at the moment.”

“Oh, right.” Cole stood up, rumpled coffee cup in hand. “I’m helping my uncle again today. He’s probably wondering what happened to me.” He raised his arm and with a quick flick of the wrist, his cup arced over my head and sailed directly into the open garbage can behind me. Score.

“Show off,” I said.

He shrugged, not denying it, and said, “When are you done here? I mean, for the day.”