Authors: Taren Reese Ocoda
Out of Oblivion (5 page)
"Hey Haleigh," Kristin said. "You coming with us on Friday?"
I opened my mouth to say I wasn't sure what was going on, but Alexis cut me off.
"Haleigh wasn't invited."
Everyone grew quiet and looked away from me. Kristen gave me an apologetic shrug, and Alexis stood there with the glare that had become a permanent feature on her face whenever I was around. I went back to the dorm and burst into tears. What had I done?
I consoled myself with the date I planned with Kurt for that Friday. I would have rescheduled the date to go out with the girls, especially to patch things up with Alexis, but it seemed like none of our friends wanted anything to do with me anymore. Kristin would still talk to me when others weren't around, but that was it. She didn't understand what was going on with Alexis either. All she could tell me was Alexis felt betrayed, but she didn't know why.
"Something on your mind?" Kurt asked.
I sat there pushing my food around with the fork. He was half way done with his meal while I had barely touched mine.
"Alexis has been angry with me all week, but I don't understand why. It's been that way since she broke up with Jason. I don't know if it's jealously because we're together or what, but it's getting to me. Now she's turning all of our friends against me. It's high school all over again." I bit my lip to stop the sob from escaping and waited until I got myself together again. "It's like I'm walking on eggshells around her all the time now, and it's affecting my schoolwork. I was late turning in two assignments this week, and I'm never late."
"It sounds like you need to get out of there."
I shrugged. I had nowhere else to go. My parents were in Hawaii, and I had no one in the area I could stay with.
"I have a spare bedroom. You're welcome to stay with me for a while."
As tempting as the offer was to get away from the stress, it was too soon to be moving in with a man I just started dating.
"You would have your own space, and we'd just be roommates. We can keep our relationship separate."
I doubted that was possible. "I don't have a job, so I can't pay rent. My parents paid for my dorm in advance."
"That won't be a problem. As long as you help with the cleaning and cooking, we can call it even."
"I need to think about it. My parents wouldn't be too happy about it."
"Your parents wouldn't want you failing your classes because of undue stress."
He had a point, but still. I would never have considered moving in with a guy I'd known for only a few weeks before. I wasn't sure I should be considering it now. It would be smarter to stick it out for now or hope there was an alternative.
*****
Avoiding Alexis at all costs became my number one objective each day. I took long routes to my classes to avoid the paths she would take. My library visits became more frequent and lengthy. I also stayed away from the dorm unless I was sure she wouldn't be there, or it was late, and I was ready for bed. At least I only had to put up with her glaring for the short time I took to get ready for and into bed.
My new class routes had me running into Jason more often. Usually we just said hi to each other, but one day he stopped me and asked how I was doing.
"Not so good, actually," I said.
His eyebrows raised in surprise. I guessed he had been expecting the normal response everyone usually gave regardless of how they were doing.
"What's up?"
"Alexis has been treating me like her worst enemy. I have no idea what I did to upset her, but it's been going on since you guys broke up. She refuses to talk about it. Do you know what's going on with her?"
Jason shrugged. "I don't. She's the one who broke up with me. I didn't see it coming. One day things were fine, the next she was breaking up with me. Dominic told me girls can be like that." He shrugged again. "I wish I could tell you more."
"That's okay. I figured I'd ask."
"Oh, I told Dominic what you said about staying out of your business. I didn't realize passing on his message would upset you so much. I felt bad about it."
"Don't feel bad. I wasn't upset with you anyway. Dominic had me upset over… other things. I overreacted a bit."
Jason chuckled. "It's all cool. So besides the Alexis thing is everything good?"
"Well, Kurt asked me to move in with him. I told him what was going on with Alexis and he offered me a room in his house to escape the stress."
Jason opened his mouth and then closed it again as though he was about to say something and changed his mind. I regretted saying anything.
"Just as roommates, though," I clarified, hoping it would wipe the disapproval from his face.
"It's okay, Haleigh. You don't owe me any explanations."
I smiled. At least he wasn't as pushy as his cousin.
"I need to get to my next class, but it was good talking to you. Maybe we can go for lunch together one day." Since my friends had abandoned me, I had been getting lonely. At least I didn't have to worry about Jason turning to the Lex side and treating me like a communicable disease.
"Yeah, that would be great! Catch ya soon."
*****
I looked for Jason after my second morning class the following day to see if he wanted to go to lunch, but instead I ran into Dominic. At first I thought he might be looking for Jason too, but when he spotted me, he headed in my direction. I bit my lip as he approached. He wore snug jeans that left little to the imagination and a tight black t-shirt that showed off his perfect form. I couldn't help wondering why he wasn't the one to like me, then I scolded myself. I had a boyfriend, and shouldn't be thinking thoughts like that, but I couldn't help myself.
He stopped right before me and smiled. "Hi Haleigh. I wanted to apologize for sending my cousin to pass on the message about Kurt. I didn't think you'd want to see me again after our last meeting, and I thought you should know about him."
The last thing I wanted to discuss was Kurt, but at least he apologized. He gazed at me for a moment, and I realized I'd been standing there gawking at him.
"Sorry, you caught me off guard. It's okay about that night. I overreacted."
"No, you didn't. I should have come to you in person. I'm an introvert, so it seemed easier to get Jason to speak to you since you see each other at school, but I realize now it was quite rude. Let me take you to lunch to make it up to you."
I didn't think it was necessary, but I didn't want to turn him down either. Part of me realized why he was here. So much for Jason staying out of things. I didn't think he'd come all this way for an apology, but my curiosity got the better of me. Or it could have been my hormones.
"Okay, but I can't be long. This is one of the two days I have time alone in the dorm before Alexis gets back, and I there's a lot of schoolwork to catch up on."
"We'll just go to the little diner up the road. They're pretty fast."
He wasn't kidding. Even at one of their busiest times of the day, we were seated, ordering and eating within fifteen minutes. It helped that we both ordered burgers, which are quick to make anyway.
"So how is school going?" Dominic asked.
I paused in the middle of taking a bite of my burger. This was not what I expected we'd be talking about. I finished taking a bite and swallowing my food before I answered.
"It's going okay, I guess. I've been having issues with Alexis and the stress has caused me to fall behind, but I'm getting caught up now."
"That's good. I hope you and Alexis are getting things sorted out."
"Not really. She won't speak to me or tell me what's wrong."
Dominic frowned, but he didn't seem surprised by the news. "I'm sorry to hear that."
I shrugged taking another bite of my burger, more relaxed now. If he was just going to talk about normal stuff, I could handle that.
"How's your web design business going?" I asked.
"Slowly, but I'll get there. Finding new clients is the hardest part, but I've got a couple good ones. I'm hoping to get referrals once I'm done with the work I'm doing for them."
I wished I could give him some advice, but I understood nothing about marketing and promotion. "Well, I wish you good luck with it. I hope it works out for you."
"I'm confident it will." He smiled. "Are you feeling any better about graphic design as a career?"
"I'm not sure. Still iffy, I guess." It surprised me how I longed for him ask me on a real date now, but I would say no anyway. I wouldn't hurt Kurt like that. Why had Dominic not shown this interest in me at his brother's house that night? I might have never gone out with Kurt if he had. I shook the feelings away. It didn't matter now, and I still doubted he had any real interest in me. He was being nice because he felt bad for upsetting me.
When I gazed up from my plate, I saw Alexis watching us from the window, with a look of pure hatred. I gasped. Dominic turned just in time to see her stalk off.
"What was that all about?" he asked.
"No idea. This is how she's been acting for the last few weeks. It started right after she broke up with Jason, and I get the impression she is blaming me. I wish she would talk to me. It's getting hard to live with her like this."
I said more than I wanted, but at that point I was upset over what happened. If I thought I could get Alexis to talk, I would have gone after her right in that moment, but I was sure she would blow me off again.
"About that," Dominic said.
I sighed. Here it came. I knew there was more to this than an apology. When would I trust my instincts? They were rarely wrong.
"I heard you were hoping to move out of your dorm."
"I was considering it, but I've made no decisions yet," I told him, trying my best to keep my tone neutral. The same ache I experienced at Alexis' party creeped up on me.
"I see. Well, I wanted to tell you I know someone, a girl around your age, who is looking for a roommate. It might be a safer option than moving in with someone you've just started dating."
Well, we were beyond the dating part, but that was semantics. Still, how was moving in with someone I never met better than moving in with someone I at least knew a little? I was certain, as far as he was concerned, it had nothing to do with that at all. This was just another attempt to keep me away from Kurt, and I didn't understand why he cared either way. If he liked me, he should say so. We weren't even friends, so he had no right to interfere in my life. At least I was telling myself these were the reasons I was angry. Deep down I knew it was the disappointment.
I pushed my plate away, suddenly repulsed by the thought of taking another bite, and stood. "Thanks for lunch, but I need to go."
"Haleigh, wait!"
I ignored him as I ran out of the diner, wiping furiously at my tears.
Thankfully we hadn't gone far from the campus. I ran straight to my dorm room intending to get into my bed for the rest of the day and pretending the rest of the world didn't exist. It would even be easy to ignore Alexis if I buried my head under my pillow. When I opened the door though, I couldn't breathe. My whole side of the room had been ransacked. I was sure it was Alexis. She probably headed back here after she saw me at the diner and did this. Not even my schoolwork had been spared. She tore all my notes and sketches to shreds.
I fell to my knees and cried out in anguish. There was no way I'd catch up now, and I wouldn't get those notes again. I'd have nothing to study for my tests. It was a good thing Alexis wasn't here, and I didn't want to be here when she got back. I pulled out my cell and called Kurt.
"Hey baby, how are you?" Kurt said when he answered.
I choked back some of my tears. "Not too good."
"Why? What's wrong?"
"Alexis trashed my stuff, including my schoolwork. Can you come and get me? I'll move in with you tonight if that's okay. I can't stay here anymore."
"Okay, just hold tight. I'll be there as soon as I'm finished with my client."
"Please, hurry."
"I will and don't worry. Things will work out. I'll see you soon."
Kurt hung up, and I stared at the mess for a moment. Where to start? Well, standing there wouldn't get my stuff packed. Unfortunately, it looked like Alexis had made good use of her scissors. Pieces of my bags laid scattered around the room. I needed something to pack my stuff in. I headed to the utility closet down the hall, hoping I'd find garbage bags. There were two boxes, so I grabbed the open one and headed back to my room and stuffed everything I owned into bags, stacking them by the door. It was a good thing I owned so little.
When I finished packing a half an hour later, I carried the bags, one in each hand, to the front door. It took only two trips, but the narrow stairway made it awkward, especially when it forced the other annoyed students to edge their way around me. Once I finished, I had nothing left to do but wait for Kurt and hope Alexis wouldn't show up. Thankfully, I didn't have long to wait. Kurt was there within ten minutes.
"How are you holding up?" He said as he wrapped me in his arms.
"I just want to get out of here." My eyes blurred, so I bit my lip.
Kurt grabbed two bags and carried them to his car. "I hope you didn't have to wait long. I got here as soon as I could."
"No, not long at all. I was packing most of the time." I told him she destroyed my bags, hence the garbage bags.
"They'll do. We're not going very far."
Once we loaded everything into his car, we were on our way. By some miracle I avoided Alexis, and I would have the weekend, now, to get myself together before I would have to face her on Monday. Right now I was hurt and confused over her behavior. We'd been friends, best friends, for over a year. I thought nothing would ever tear us apart.
The drive to Kurt's house took only fifteen minutes. I was eager to get into my new room and stay there for the rest of the night. Kurt helped me carry my things to the spare room on the second floor. After dropping the last of my bags on the floor, Kurt pulled me into his arms and kissed me, while rubbing his body against mine.
"Kurt, I'm not in the mood right now."
I attempted to pull away from him, but he held me tight and deepened the kiss. He inched me toward the bed and lowered me onto it as he climbed on top.
"You need this right now," he told me. "You need to feel loved and cherished."
I needed time alone, but I could see he wouldn't take no for an answer. He worked his leg between mine and rubbed strategically as he kissed me. It wasn't long before I lifted my hips to increase the friction there. When I couldn't get the contact I craved all of a sudden, I groaned.
"You want me, baby?" Kurt asked in a low voice.
"Yes."
He undressed me quickly and pushed me back onto the bed. Then undressed himself. He rolled me onto my belly.
"Get your knees under you and lift that ass in the air."
I had no idea what he had in mind, but I was so needy at the moment, I didn't care. I did as he said. Kurt positioned himself behind me and without warning, he slammed himself into me. I cried out and instinctively pulled away, but he wouldn't let me escape. He grabbed my hips and held me still as he moved in and out of me at a relentless pace.
"It hurts," I told him.
"Be quiet and relax. It will pass. You need this, Haleigh."
I forced myself to relax, and he was right. The pain passed as my arousal intensified. I tried to push him deeper with each of his thrusts. He reached around and lightly rolled my nipples between his fingers. I was so close now. Just as my orgasm started, he pinched my nipples hard. The jolts of pleasure shooting through me quickly overshadowed the pain. I cried out as I bucked into him. The pain in my nipples doubled when he released him, but he didn't give me time to recover. He grabbed my hips, ramming himself into me faster and faster. Something I would have thought was impossible. I was right on the edge again when he slammed into me one final time.
Kurt lay on his side, pulling me with him. All the hurt and stress I was non-existent. Now I just wanted more. I turned towards him and kissed him again.
"I love you," I said.
"Good, because I love you too. You're my girl."
I smiled and rubbed myself against him, hoping he would get the hint.
"My horny, slutty girl."
Well, horny, yes, but I wasn't comfortable being called "slutty". He reached his hand between my legs, slipping his fingers inside me. I winced, surprised at the soreness. It didn't stop him though. Using two fingers, he worked me into a frenzy once again, then just as I tipped over the edge he pinched my clitoris so hard I screamed out. He didn't stop pumping his fingers in and out of me, and I thrashed around beneath him in a mixed state of agony and ecstasy. When the orgasm passed, he didn't stop. He worked me up into orgasm after orgasm.
"Stop, please," I said, my voice hoarse from all the screaming.
"Not yet," he said. "You obviously need this."
I had enough though. It was no longer pleasurable, just painful. Still, my body betrayed me as I exploded into another orgasm. He didn't stop, and exhaustion paralyzed me. My sobbing began long before it ended, and only then did he pulled me into his arms again.
"Taste," he said, holding his fingers to my lips.
Was he serious? I didn't want to taste myself, but he squeezed my breast with his other hand causing me to gasp, and pressed his fingers into my mouth.
"Suck," Kurt said right in my ear. "Suck hard."
I did as I was told, my body shaking uncontrollably. I didn't like the saltiness at all, but he made no move to remove his fingers.
"Now, sleep. You'll feel better when you wake."
I wasn't convinced, but I was too exhausted to say otherwise. Besides, his fingers still filled my mouth, so talking wasn't an option.
*****
When I woke the next morning, I did feel a little better. I was still sore, but sex with Kurt always left me tender. He liked it rough. My problems with Alexis seemed distant and unimportant now, so I guess he was right, but he still seemed to need the sex more than I did. He was never sated, which he proved the moment he woke next to me and immediately climbed on top of me.
"Kurt, I'm too sore."
He covered my mouth with his as he forced his way into me. I cried out, and he deepened the kiss. It was easier to give in and let him have his way.
Until I met Kurt, a lot of sex was about three or four times a week. I learned quickly Kurt needed sex about three or four times a day and even then he never seemed content. When he returned from seeing clients, he would immediately carry me off to either his bedroom or mine and have his way with me. It didn't matter what I was doing. I could be right in the middle of schoolwork, and he would stop me to get his fix. I wondered if it was possible to be addicted to sex. It wasn't surprising when I lost interest all together. Especially when my needs grew less and less important. I would lay there limp, finding it easier to give him what he wanted than to argue.
Now, he wanted quickies most of the time, and I would get no orgasm at all. He wouldn't even wait until I was aroused. He would just have me drop my pants, bend me over a table, and have his way. Then he would go back to what he was doing, leaving me wanting. I supposed it wasn't bound to last anyway. Many people told me guys lost interest in a woman's pleasure once he knew he had her.
It wasn't the lack of orgasms during sex that bothered me though. If I wanted one, I could take care of it myself. I didn't need him for that. But, as his interest in my pleasure waned, he became more and more emotionally distant. We rarely talked about my life as he had in the beginning. When I spoke about my classes, he barely paid attention, and when we had sex, his mind was always somewhere else. I felt like nothing more than a receptacle for him.
Was this normal for people who became familiar with one another? It didn't seem that way with my parents. They still acted like love-struck teenagers, but they likely didn't represent the average relationship. It was clear what, now, my relationship with Kurt was nothing like what they had though. I was wrong about that. Maybe what my parents shared was rare, and it took a great amount of luck to find it. Considering my problems with the simple act of maintaining friendships, I doubted I would ever be that lucky. I would have to be content with a man who at least cared about me.
*****
Kurt did care. He made it a habit to come to the college every afternoon to take me to lunch. The first time seemed odd. He took me to the same diner Dominic had taken me two weeks before. He even asked the hostess to seat us in the same booth. For a moment, I wondered if he knew about my lunch with Dominic, but how could he?
Instead of sitting across from me, he slid into the seat beside me. He ordered for me too, which he never did before. A salad and water. For himself, he ordered a seafood basket and a beer.
"Why just a salad?" I asked.
"I've noticed your jeans are getting tighter. It will do you good to cut down on the greasy food."
Ouch. That was blunt. I never noticed my jeans fitting any differently than they ever had before. Between the almost constant sex with him, and walking from class to class on campus, I got plenty of exercise. I didn't have time to think about it too much though. Kurt reached down and unbuttoned and unzipped my pants, sliding his hand into my underwear and slipping two fingers inside me. My face heated, and I quickly glanced around to see if anyone saw him.
He pinned me snuggly between him and the wall. I tugged on his arm, hoping he would get the hint. I didn't want this.
"Put your hands flat on the table," he said in a stern tone.
He never spoke to me that way. I bit my lip as I tentatively placed my hands on the table.
"You need this," he said more softly. "And you need to learn to trust me. Spread your legs."
When I hesitated, he reached over with his other hand and squeezed my breast hard. So I spread them as far as I could within my limited space. I tried not to make a sound while he worked me close to an orgasm. There was no way I could hide it if I came, so it was a relief when the waitress came toward us with our food. At least it was until Kurt slipped his hand out of my panties, exaggerating his actions as he slipped each finger into his mouth in turn, relishing them as he sucked.
"What a lovely appetizer," he said as the waitress stopped at our table.
Her face turned bright red, and she avoided eye contact as she set our plates on the table.
"Enjoy your meal," she said, practically running away from our table.
I was mortified. I pushed my salad away as I pressed my legs together and leaned as far away from Kurt as I could, which wasn't nearly far enough.
"Eat," he said, glaring.
The look in his eyes sent a shiver of fear through me, so I did as I was told. When we finished our meal, I was eager to leave. My pants were still undone, a fact which my shirt barely hit. I told Kurt I needed to go to the restroom and rushed inside the one room unisex toilet to fix myself up. I didn't notice Kurt following me inside until he locked the door behind us.
"I won't be able to go with you in here," I told him.
"Watching you piss isn't what I had in mind. Pull your pants down and bend over the toilet."
"Kurt, we're in a public…"
He gripped my jeans and pulled them roughly over my hips. Then spun me and bent me over, grabbing my hips as he rammed himself inside me. I didn't the opportunity to react, and by the time I did I was too off balance to do anything. There was nowhere to rest my hands, so I had to hope he didn't lose his grip. I would have just toppled over if he did.
"You really need to trust me, Haleigh. I know what you need better than you do."
Did he? I certainly didn't feel like I needed this in a restaurant bathroom. He came within moments, and once again he left me unfulfilled. I didn't need that either. As soon as he finished, he pulled his pants back up.
"I'll be waiting for you in the car," he said as he left. "Don't be long."
I finished up in the bathroom as quickly as I could, considering the possibility of walking back to school, but he watched me from his car as I left the restaurant. I already made eye contact, so if I left now, he would be angry.
"What was that all about?" I asked, as I pulled the passenger side door closed after getting into the seat.
His lecherous grin made my gut churn. For a moment, I thought he would rip my pants off again and take me right there in his car, but he turned the key, the engine roaring to life.
"I can't get enough of you, Haleigh," he said.
His gaze lingered on another woman who passed us in the arms of who I assumed was her boyfriend. It wasn't me he couldn't get enough of, it was sex, and it was getting worse. Regardless of where we ate, we would end up having sex in the bathroom. He even told me he didn't want me wearing underwear anymore because it got in the way. He removed all the underwear from my drawers, leaving me no choice.
Then the visits increased. He met up with me between classes now too, and often he would pull me into a semi-secluded spot and have his way with me there. He bought me short skirts, saying it would be easier for our little trysts. All he needed to do was lift it for easy access. Soon, the only time I spent away from him was in my classes, and it was overwhelming. Not only that, but people noticed. I went from being the shy girl who hung out with Alexis, to being the "whore on campus". People I didn't know pointed at me and whispered to their friends when I passed. I hadn't been this humiliated since leaving Hawaii. Something had to change.
